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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757468">A Court of Nightmares and Starlight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThespianBooks/pseuds/ThespianBooks'>ThespianBooks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Book 1: A Court of Thorns and Roses, Book 2: A Court of Mist and Fury, Book 3: A Court of Wings and Ruin, Elriel, F/M, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand Family, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand Fluff, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand Pregnancy, Multi, Nessian - Freeform, Other, POV Feyre Archeron, Post-A Court of Frost and Starlight, Post-A Court of Mist and Fury, Post-A Court of Thorns and Roses, Post-A Court of Wings and Ruin, Pregnant Feyre Archeron, The Court of Dreams (ACoTaR), The Court of Nightmares (ACoTaR), Velaris, feysand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:07:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>94,591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24757468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThespianBooks/pseuds/ThespianBooks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A decade has passed since their first Winter Solstice together; ten years since they decided they would try for a baby. But just as the High Lady of the Night Court is about to give up on the idea of the firstborn she saw in the Bone Carver, Feyre feels the glimmer of a new bond.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elain Archeron/Azriel, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Nesta Archeron/Cassian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>188</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1026</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A Court of Nightmares and Starlight</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chapter One</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>I knew it was bound to happen eventually. Surrounded by the new walls in this estate, after growing so familiar with Rhys’s old room—my old room, at the House of Wind; a part of me knew the new surroundings might trigger the nightmares to return. Even if over a decade had passed, a part of me was, and would probably always be haunted by the events that had taken place Under the Mountain. At first, I dreamt of stabbing myself in the heart, as I had the young male and female fae. Over the years the nightmares evolved, sometimes as gory and painful as it had been to actually live through it, and other times an array of images would pass through my mind in a panic—as if I were living through it all at once in a matter of seconds. Images of blood, Amarantha, the knife in my blood-soaked hands—of Rhys. Of Rhys’s pained face as he desperately tried to get to me during Amarantha’s attack, wielding a knife of his own. Tonight, in particular, those flashing images conjured up old and ancient feelings of panic in me that I had not experienced since I was newly Made; since my time in the Spring Court. Since before I learned Rhys was my mate; before I overcame that overwhelming despair that had threatened to drown me. The nightmares hadn’t stirred those emotions in over a decade, but tonight was different. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I jolted awake in a cold sweat, my skin clammy and stomach roiling at the particularly violent images of my blood-soaked hands and Rhys’s panicked and desperate face still lingering as I tried to discern reality from dream. I silently thanked the Cauldron that Rhys wasn’t with me as I made a mad dash for the bathing room attached to our suite. I barely made it to the toilet as I vomited up the dinner, and probably the entirety of my stomach contents from the day before, I had with Mor. My eyes burned as the wave intensified, reminding me of those days in the Spring Court, a couple of sobs escaping between my heaves. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Breathe</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re free. </span>
  </em>
  <span>We’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>free. And safe</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Just breathe</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the wave of nausea finally began to pass, and the heaving stopped, I took a few deep breaths as Rhys guided me through our bond. Nerves settled, I flushed the toilet and stood slowly. Once I was confident I wouldn’t sway on my feet, I padded over to the sink, rinsing my mouth out thoroughly. Sighing deeply once again, I smiled softly as I felt those familiar dark-shadowed talons caress my mental shields before lowering them and allowing Rhys in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Hello Feyre darling</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My smile widened. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m alright, just another bad dream</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Must have been a bad one. Your nightmares haven’t caused you to puke your guts up in years. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>It’s because I’m alone in this big house without you. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I felt his dark laugh reverberate through the bond. I knew I couldn’t blame him for performing his duties as the High Lord of the Night Court, particularly in matters of the Illyrian sort. He, Cassian, and Azriel were duty-bound to attend and oversee the Blood Rite of their novice-warriors. As High Lord, commander of armies, and spymaster, the trio of Illyrians had taken it upon themselves to attend the ceremonies before would-be warriors were sent off to fend for themselves and survive in the mountains. Previously, they had only attended the ceremonies at the beginning and end of the blood rite on the first and last day, but this year they decided to stay the week to welcome, congratulate, and perform all ceremonial rights for the survivors and new Illyrian warriors. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though it had only been three days since they left, it was the longest Rhys and I had been apart since before the war with Hybern. The first couple of years after the war had been a hard period of adjustment, and while there were still days where I only saw Rhys first thing in the morning and not again until right before bed, over the last decade we had managed to make more time for each other. Especially after our first Winter Solstice together, after coming to the decision that we would try and conceive the firstborn the bone-carver had once shown me, we always found time to spend together—just the two of us. Perhaps that was the real reason why my despairing nightmares had returned. Perhaps it was simply because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>missed</span>
  </em>
  <span> him, his warmth as we lay entangled in our sheets—our new sheets in this estate I built for us, our family. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The estate Rhys had given me—us, really, had taken a little longer to remodel than I had originally hoped. He had told me to build a painting studio for myself, a room for each member of our inner circle, including my sisters...including the would-be son we had yet to conceive. I worked on the nursery first; once I had officially shifted all my focus on the estate-building project, it was all I could think about. The art studio I opened in the Rainbow, with Ressina, was beginning to flourish and after countless days of watching fae children heal from their trauma the war caused, I wanted nothing more than to prepare the nursery for my future child—as a form of my own healing process.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But as time passed, and my cycles returned at their regular intervals, I shifted my focus from the nursery to the rest of our estate. As an attempt to distract myself from it, I made sure to create the perfect space for every member of our inner circle. Everyone had their own living quarters, allowing them to freely stay or leave at their leisure. Cassian and Azriel were delighted to have their own space; though the former was more vocal about it, I knew Az was glad to have a place of solace—especially since space was so limited at our townhouse. The two Illyrians were especially pleased with the training grounds in the back of the estate, past the gardens. Rhys had the most influence over that aspect of the estate, since the trio used the space so frequently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mor was especially ecstatic to have a new room—an upgrade she called it, with an abundance of closet space which allowed her to show off her multiple pieces of fashion from the various courts of Prythian to her heart's content. Even Amren was pleased with not only her luxurious suite; more luxurious than mine and Rhys’s that allowed her to display the fine jewelry and baubles she collected over the years, but also with the two-story library lined with stacks of books that even I couldn’t resist browsing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Elain had been my biggest help in planning our estate, and when I asked what she wanted, she simply—and shyly, requested a garden. A now wide and expansive garden, with a vast greenhouse, which she tended to with the groundskeeper every day. Her living quarters were combined with Nesta’s, who never admittedly claimed to live in our estate, but over the years settled and even sold the small apartment she once resided in on the other side of the Sidra. I couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with Cassian’s growing influence, but I knew it was mostly due to Elain and Amren. I was only happy to see her on a nearly day-to-day basis. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I had indeed built the house of my dreams—our dreams, filled with family, staff and sentries with their own living quarters, and more than an adequate amount of space for us all. After three years of careful planning and attending to every last detail, along with balancing my shared duties as High Lady; our estate was now a masterpiece with an empty nursery. I pushed away from the thought, reminding myself that fae children—fae babies, were rare. That night on the Winter Solstice when we decided we were ready for them, Rhys had warned me it could take years. At the time, I hadn’t cared, but as the years passed I often wondered if I would ever see the beautiful face of the son the bone-carver had shown me. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I tried not to lose faith, in the Mother, the cauldron, all of it. Every time the disappointment showed in my face when my excruciating cycle would return, Rhys knew and reassured me that it </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> happen for us. I tried not to think about it with my mental shields down, or shout it down the bond, which I was more efficient at building every year. Not that I actively liked to block Rhys out, I rather enjoyed communicating through our bond, depended on it—especially on a night like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’d rather not worry about you getting sick every night this week. I’ll come home tomorrow</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t need to do that, I’m really fine. Maybe it was that big dinner I had.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Funny, I almost believed you for a second Feyre, darling</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I sighed audibly, sure that he knew I did. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It was just an intense nightmare. They still come and go, you know they do</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I do—but still-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t be such a mother hen. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I snapped. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It was a bad dream and a bad reaction. I’ll be fine in the morning.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence followed for longer than I liked, and I felt some remorse for snapping at him. Knowing my feelings, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>experience</span>
  </em>
  <span>, with overprotective behavior had him reigning it in as much as possible. It was still there from time to time, but I knew my mate. Knew when he was overprotective, it meant he couldn’t help himself but would in no way force me to his will. Still, my feelings of guilt remained. It was true that it had been years since a nightmare caused this reaction, and had the roles been reversed, I would want to be at his side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I was about to apologize before he sent another warm message down the bond; </span>
  <em>
    <span>As you wish, High Lady</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That wasn’t exactly an order, you know.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh I know, but I also know just how much you </span>
  </em>
  <span>love </span>
  <em>
    <span>ordering me around</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I smiled as I settled in our bed, imagining his cocky grin adorning his handsome face, violet eyes glimmering with mischief. I sighed again, </span>
  <em>
    <span>if that were the case, I would actually order you back home.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I still can</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No, no I’m alright. I feel better already. Plus you</span>
  </em>
  <span> need</span>
  <em>
    <span> to be there. Go enjoy your Illyrian rituals and ceremonies and whatnot.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>As you wish, High Lady</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I snorted before sending him a vulgar gesture down the bond and raising my mental shield of adamant as I closed my eyes, sleep once again starting to claim my body; the timbre of his dark laughter resounding softly in the shadows around me, causing my stomach to flutter delicately as the sound lingered and lulled me into a new sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maybe I was sick.</p>
<p>As a high fae, I had never actually been sick before. In fact, I hadn’t been sick since before that fateful day in the woods; when I shot an arrow and killed Andras in his beast form. I cringed, my stomach churning at the reminder of Tamlin and his court. The memories of my past human life, of my life at the Spring Court, were only going to make me feel worse just as I was beginning to feel better. A few days had passed since I jolted awake and puked my guts up in the middle of the night. At first, I thought it was a one-off. A recurring nightmare that reared its ugly head, and my negative reaction to it. However, the next day my nausea spell returned with a vengeance in the middle of a painting lesson at my studio in the Rainbow. I barely had enough time to excuse myself and leave Ressina in charge before winnowing back into my bathing room at the estate before hugging the toilet again for the rest of the hour. By that evening, I had miraculously been able to eat a light dinner, but after a fitful couple hours of sleep that was plagued by another nightmare, I was in the bathing room once again.</p>
<p>I managed to hide my illness from the others that day, but I knew Mor was suspicious the next when I showed up to breakfast and only nibbled on a piece of bread with butter. She was the first to theorize I had the flu, and both Elain and Nesta prompted the question on whether fae could actually get sick. Elain was more curious than Nesta, who simply snorted a remark about how she thought fae were too powerful for common viruses. While it was meant to be more of a snarky comment than an actual question, I couldn’t blame her for it. After learning about how terrorizing a female's cycle was during my first year after being Made, I had also been curious regarding what other ailments fae experienced.</p>
<p><em>Such powerful immortal beings, like myself, aren’t so vulnerable to the common cold like humans are Feyre darling,</em> Rhys had remarked with an amused grin when I asked him about it. <em>But there are times we do fall prey to it on occasion. Although, it's more like a nasty, lingering flu since our symptoms are more severe than humans.</em></p>
<p>It made sense; as immortal beings with magical abilities, we wouldn’t experience the same ailments our human counterparts would. When we did, it would be more enhanced; just like a female's cycle was more exaggerated than a humans. I supposed as a more powerful and stronger being than a human, dramatic ailments were the trade-off. The more I thought about it, I figured Mor had probably been right, because as the next day and a half passed, my nausea spells lingered along with some body-aches and fatigue. I also noted a strange and faint glimmer in the pit of my stomach. It had been there for the last couple of days, and it felt strangely instinctual--intuitive, rather than a symptom of my illness. I thought of it even now, as I sat in the library with Mor and Elain; finalizing details for the party we were throwing on Starfall in a couple of weeks.</p>
<p>For the most part, my symptoms had subsided today. The nausea still lingered through most of the morning, but now as lunch was approaching, I was confident I would be able to eat and keep a meal down. The nightmares had stopped as well, and I was finally able to get a full-night's rest. After the night they began, I made sure to keep my wall of adamant up for Rhys. My stupid illness was the least of his worries while he was in the Illyrian mountains, and the least of mine as well.</p>
<p>“Feyre, what do you think?” Elain asked, pulling me from my thoughts.</p>
<p>I turned to her, “About what? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening,” I admitted, reminding myself that now wasn’t the time to be drifting away in thought.</p>
<p>Mor giggled, amused. “I told you she wasn’t listening to anything we were just talking about. She’s too busy daydreaming and worrying about things she <em>shouldn’t</em> be worrying about.”</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, “Well excuse me, Mor, but as High Lady I think I do have plenty to worry about,” I argued, but she merely waved it away.</p>
<p>“Leave the Illyrian camps to Rhys. He, Cassian, and Az can handle whatever situation might be brewing,” she reasoned.</p>
<p>I tried not to notice the way Elain’s face seemed to redden at the mention of the shadowsinger. While it was no secret that she and Azriel spent more time together since moving into the estate, I knew Elain still tried to avoid any conflict with Mor; despite the secret Mor still hadn’t revealed in the last decade. She had centuries at hiding her closeted feelings, and just as I had promised her during the war, I wasn’t about to reveal a thing. Despite wanting to ease Elain’s nerves in regards to the Cassian-Mor-Azriel situation, I knew it wasn’t my place. We had plenty of time to see things worked out as they should.</p>
<p>Nesta, on the other hand, had little regard for their delicate circumstance. On the rare occasion that she would join us for dinner, she frequently bit out any remark she could when she noticed any connection between Azriel and Elain. In the last decade, her hard edge did not soften a bit. Some years ago, I realized that would probably never change, and although she seemed in a better place now than she previously had been after the war, I was glad to know she was at least slowly allowing us back into her life. Things had been tense after I banished her from Velaris at the beginning of the decade, but after her period at Cassian’s cabin in the Illyrian mountains, I saw a flicker of hope on the horizon. She returned with Cassian after a year, and while I had been expecting nothing but contempt in those grey-blue eyes we shared, instead there was...an understanding. Our reunion was uneventful, but at least tensions were beginning to ease.</p>
<p>After learning Elain and I were working on the estate, she outright refused to have a room, but Elain insisted we include one anyway. She somehow managed to figure out a way to connect their quarters together, so at least when Nesta deigned to visit her, she would see she had a place of refuge from the rest of us. Amren and Elain were still the only ones she allowed closest to her; though from time to time I could hear her and Cassian with their usual verbal sparring matches in the library. She never discussed what happened in that cabin, at least not with me. I had an inkling she discussed it with Amren, but after her return I thought it best not to ask any questions. I was happy with our current standing, because at least she was here now and the rest could wait.</p>
<p>“I guess you’re right,” I amended, trying not to dwell on the Illyrian mountains and the tension Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel had to face in the camps.</p>
<p>“I’m sure they’re alright,” Elain added, “I’ve heard Cassian and Azriel talk about the Blood Rite. I bet they’re enjoying the final ceremonies right now.”</p>
<p>A small smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I nodded in agreement, noting how quickly she threw in Cassian’s name before Azriel’s.</p>
<p>“And they’ll be home in a couple of days, which means we have to finish up this work <em>now</em> before Rhys gets back and holes you up in that suite of yours for Cauldron knows how long” Mor shot me a knowing grin as she rolled her eyes in mock disgust.</p>
<p>Elain’s face flushed again, but I merely shrugged, “I can’t help it if my mate finds me irresistible.”</p>
<p>“Does he know you’ve been sick?”</p>
<p>I sneered, turning to the paperwork laid out in front of me, “Let’s get back to party planning, shall we?”</p>
<p>Mor grinned again, knowing she had made it under my skin but said nothing else about it as we spent the rest of the afternoon finalizing our plans. Since moving into the estate seven years ago, we moved our Starfall celebrations from the House of Wind here. Elain had been the one to suggest we hold a grand party for all of Velaris; knowing full well our expanse of land allowed for such an occasion. I had been so happy to see that she was finally starting to return to her old self; to see just a bit of the person she was before she was Made, that I couldn’t argue. Even Rhys and the rest of the inner circle approved of the idea, and it became an annual tradition for us.</p>
<hr/>
<p>To my relief, I was able to eat lunch <em>and</em> an early dinner without experiencing any more nausea. After my meeting with Mor and Elain, Mor whisked her away for a shopping trip at the Palace of Thread and Jewels. I opted out, happy to wear my traditional Starfall gown Rhys’s mother created for me. Well over a decade later, and I never tired of wearing the same gown every year; it bore too much sentimental value to wear anything else. After the first couple of years, I tried playing with the look by adding different pieces of jewelry, but after trying and failing at several attempts to match a jewelry set with the gown, I now let Nuala and Cerridwen style it to their heart's content. They were better at dressing me anyway.</p>
<p>I sighed, eyes drifting from the paperwork on my desk to my office around me. The wall of windows to my right allowed the natural light in; accenting my off-white furniture and the pale lilac rug in the center of the room. After the nightmares of darkness and closed-in walls, I wanted nothing but open air and light. I wanted our estate to allow us to view the city at night as it was intended; bright and colorful lights in the distance as well as mirroring off the river. I wanted to allow the elements and natural cycle of the day to reflect inside and for everything to simply breathe comfort and<em> home</em>. After everything we had been through, we all deserved this bit of peace--and the estate served as that peace. I smiled to myself as I reminisced over the furniture pieces Rhys and I mulled over; after noticing the off-white color scheme I was planning, his argument had been that since this <em>was</em> the Night Court after all, we should-</p>
<p>I bolted upright in my seat; startled by the sudden flicker in my abdomen that ripped me from my thoughts; that same instinctual flicker I noticed a few days ago. I paused as it fluttered for a few seconds, like a miniscule heartbeat pulsing through my core. Just as quickly as it had arrived, it vanished. I remained unmoving, scared that the nausea would return along with it. When I felt nothing, I slowly reclined in my seat, loosing the breath I held throughout the ordeal. I had been feeling that flutter for days and related it to my symptoms; now that I was on the mend, I expected that to have gone away as well. It was such a strange and foreign sensation. It wasn't outright physical, more like a gut feeling personified. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact way to describe it, the only thing I could relate it to was the bond Rhysand and I shared.</p>
<p>Perhaps it <em>was</em> the bond letting him know I was sick, because not even a second later I felt Rhys run a delicate finger along my shields. I willed my heart to slow before lowering them just enough to allow us to communicate.</p>
<p>
  <em>I felt that, you know</em>
</p>
<p><em>Felt what?</em> Innocent. Just play dumb.</p>
<p>He wasn’t falling for it. <em>Felt whatever it was that just rattled inside of you. Did you have another nightmare?</em></p>
<p>I was silent for a minute. He didn’t know what it was either; probably assuming it had something to do with the other night. <em>No, I wasn’t asleep. </em></p>
<p>Have<em> you been sleeping?</em></p>
<p>I sighed, knowing I couldn’t hide the last few days from him forever. <em>On and off, I’ve had a few nightmares here and there.</em></p>
<p>I could feel his dark shadows roiling and gathering from here; concern immediately taking over my mate. <em>Do you need me to come home? </em></p>
<p>My heart fluttered at the thought, knowing deep down I did want him here. It didn’t matter how long we were apart, a few hours, days, weeks; I would always want my mate at my side, but the rational part of me knew we had our obligations to attend to. I had to remind myself that this wasn’t like that period of weeks I had infiltrated the Spring Court before the war with Hybern.</p>
<p><em>No. You’ll be home in a couple of days. I’m fine now, I had a couple of bad nights but last night was actually good. No nightmares, and no puking. </em>Not a total lie, but I felt like I could omit the suspected illness I had been experiencing. For now.</p>
<p>Those dark shadows lingered, as if trying to create a protective and calm aura around me. It was rare that Rhys had felt so possessive, and I knew it was an innate male-bonded reaction more than anything. Still, I felt his reluctance before he said anything else.</p>
<p>
  <em>After this week is over, it's going to be a long time before I leave your side again</em>
</p>
<p>I smiled, part of me still finding it amusing when his feral male-bonded instincts took over. He still cringed and apologized whenever his overprotective behavior became too much and leaked out, but I knew it came from those primitive, feral ways of our ancestors.</p>
<p>
  <em>I wouldn’t complain.</em>
  
</p>
<p>His shadows began to dissipate as he chuckled. The sound immediately filled me with want for him and I had to sigh deeply to quell it. <em>I miss you.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>I know</em>
</p>
<p>I could feel his smug grin as I sent him an image of my vulgar gesture. <em>Prick</em></p>
<p><em>Always. </em>I could almost see that grin on his handsome face as I moved from my seat behind my desk to an armchair on my attached balcony.</p>
<p>
  <em>I’ll be back before you know it, my love, and we can resume our nightly attempts. Maybe this time apart is what we needed. </em>
</p>
<p>I looked out towards the city from my seat on the balcony, willing my heart not to ache at what he implied. The sun was setting on the horizon; its amber glow bathing me in its warmth as the image of my would-be son plagued my thoughts. I thought of the way those bright blue eyes sparkled, so like Rhys’s always did when the light caught them at a certain angle. He would be so beautiful.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes, he will be</em>
</p>
<p>I smiled, and closed my eyes as I leaned my head back. <em>Just come back to me and we’ll see if we can actually make that happen</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, I have every intention of making sure that we do</em>
</p>
<p>I had to bite my bottom lip in an attempt to once again repress my desire. I pictured his suggestive grin, throwing my shields up once again in response and as a goodbye.</p>
<p>That night, I dreamt of those bright near-violet eyes as I had pictured earlier. Only this time, they belonged to a young Illyrian male that greatly resembled the High Lord of the Night Court as said High Lord led him through the camps he would one day train in.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following couple of days passed in a blur as I tried not to count down the hours leading up to Rhys’s return. After a week apart, the ache for my mate to come home was nearly stifling. I didn’t want to compare it to the near-month we had been separated before the war with Hybern; when I had acted as a double agent for my court, for my family, in order to save them. It was agonizing, my daemati abilities and magic being drained by the faebane slowly poisoning me; all while being unable to fully communicate with Rhys through our bond. Last night, our last apart, I had to remind myself that this was nothing like it; we were in the same court and he was due back in a few hours. Just as I was turning in for the night, I found a note on my dresser and nearly knocked it over as I leapt for the folded piece of paper with a simple sentence scribbled in his handwriting:</p><p>
  <em>I’ll be home first thing in the morning.</em>
</p><p>I smiled at his words for far longer than was probably necessary, recalling the notes we used to pass each other in the early days of our friendship; before I realized that we could simply communicate through our bond and shared daemati powers, before I even realized we were mates. My heart swelled at the gesture; imagining him writing the quick note and sending it off with a no-doubt smug grin. I chose not to write back and set it back down on the dresser before enduring a fitful sleep. I was glad the symptoms of my illness were nearly gone and no longer plagued me at night; the strange glimmer at my core remained and flitted about from time to time, but it remained calm now as I laid in bed with eyes trained on the wall of windows across from me. The rising sun was beginning to bathe the sky in morning light; oranges, yellows, and soft pinks blending into the night sky as the sun began its slow ascent. I bit my lip as I glanced down at myself, picking off a stray speck of dust from the red and lacy underthings I wore—a favorite of Rhys’s and one I saved for special occasions.</p><p>I sighed deeply, closing my eyes for a brief moment as I stretched my stiff limbs. I didn’t have to open my eyes as I felt him a second later. I smiled as the room was filled with his scent—salt, citrus, and rain. I breathed him in, relief filling every inch of me; noting a very faint, yet familiar, aroma radiating between us. Before I could name it, strong arms enveloped me as I opened my eyes and met with violet.</p><p>“Hello Feyre darling,” he purred as he pulled me against him.</p><p>I arched my back, allowing his arms to encircle my waist. My hands brushed through his dark locks, making the first contact between us delicate and loving, as he hovered over me. My breathing hitched as I realized his Illyrian leathers were already gone and he pulled me closer.</p><p>“You’re here,” I breathed.</p><p>His lips met the skin between my neck and shoulder, “I did promise I would be here first thing in the morning.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize it would literally be at the crack of dawn,” I teased; one hand moving to grip the hair at the nape of his neck while the other gripped his shoulder, my hips rolling against him.</p><p>His hands moved to admire the undergarments I wore, tugging at them with an achingly slow ease, “What can I say? I couldn’t stay away, Feyre darling.”</p><p>My breath hitched again as his lips finally caught mine, and any restraint I exercised before now snapped. I kissed him feverishly, hands dragging down his back as his wings flared out instinctively at my touch. I grinned on his lips, “Extra sensitive, are we?”</p><p>He growled in response, pressing my hips down as I tried rolling them again, “To think, I almost forgot what a cruel, beautiful thing you are, <em>mate</em>.”</p><p>My grin only widened as he moved from my lips down my neck, and further. Leaning my head back with a soft moan, I briefly thought of where the other two Illyrians might be. If Rhys was here, had they remained at the camps to wrap up any leftover business, or-</p><p>“Are you really thinking about other males while I’m doing this?” He drawled, nipping at my collarbone as his hand slid between us.</p><p>I gasped at his touch, arching my back against him and realized my mental shields had been shamelessly thrown down the second our lips met. Blushing, I tugged at his hair lightly, his eyes meeting mine again as I breathed, “Maybe if you weren’t taking so long, I wouldn’t let my mind wander.”</p><p>He growled lowly and the sheer intensity behind those now darkened violet eyes caused me to shiver against him as any previous thoughts and taunts I had vanished; I pulled him back down for a vigorous kiss.</p>
<hr/><p>Not too long after, we decided not to leave our room for the rest of the day.</p><p>He spent the remainder of the morning cherishing every inch of my body, and I did the same, unable to resist him for more than a few minutes before we launched into another round. I couldn’t help feeling amused at our frenzy; reminding me of when we were newly mated. My heart skipped a beat as I remembered what Rhys told me then, about the inherent need to ensure his mate was impregnated. Maybe that was why the frenzy was renewed now; after a week apart, our mating instincts were trying to pick up where we left off before his absence.</p><p>Rhys inhaled my scent deeply as a strong hand flattened on my stomach, his face buried in the crook of my neck as we lay in bed—finally allowing ourselves a break. I traced lazy circles on his chest as he took another breath. “Something’s different,” he commented casually.</p><p>“What do you mean?” I asked, tracing the dark whorled patterns of the tattoos on his chest; admiring them and dreaming of how to include them into my next painting.</p><p>“I don’t know, but something feels off,” he said a little more seriously, and I heard the concern beginning to brew.</p><p>I hesitated. I made sure my mental shields were intact as I contemplated revealing my mysterious illness to him. The first night I was sick, my mental shields had been lowered during my vulnerable moment and he was able to guide me through my panic--no doubt being awakened as abruptly as I had been by my nightmare and the illness that followed. Since then, I battled to make sure they remained whole during my nausea spells in order to prevent him from worrying about me further. He noted the delay in my response and frowned.</p><p>“You’ve been sick,” it wasn’t a question.</p><p>I sighed, “Just a little,” I quickly added before he could protest, “It wasn’t a big deal. I just had a couple of bad days feeling lousy, but I’m much better now.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?” His frown remained, fingers curling into my waist protectively.</p><p>“I didn’t want you to worry. You, Cass, and Az had business to take care of in the war camps. How did that go?” I raised a brow, wondering at the slight curl of his lips at the mention of his brothers.</p><p>He reigned himself in and sighed, “There were no female recruits in this year’s Rite, as I suspected.”</p><p>I rolled my eyes, “I bet Cassian loved that.”</p><p>He snorted, “Oh, he loved it so much that Az and I heard all about it for the remainder of our stay.”</p><p>“I don’t blame him. He worked hard to train those females, to make sure they were caught up enough to survive out in the mountains,” I empathized. I personally worked with Cassian to train alongside the female Illyrians; giving them my own advice and even instructing some of them on how to properly hold a blade. Tired of Devlon’s constant excuses as to why the females were so behind in their training, Cassian brought them to our own training pit at the estate. After spending several months training with the females of age, I knew how excited they were at the prospect of participating in the Rite.</p><p>“I don’t either,” Rhys amended, tracing a finger around my navel; eyeing his own movement as contemplation settled on his face. “We’re going to put more pressure on Devlon for next year. Apparently, the other camp lords ‘overwhelmed’ him in their vote to include the females this year.”</p><p>I frowned, “Was there any more news on the other camp lords?”</p><p>Rhys sighed deeply, already knowing what I was referring to. Ten years ago the son of the camp lord of the Ironcrest camp, Kallon, began spreading post-war dissent among other war camps; putting all the blame of their fallen comrades on the High Lord of the Night Court’s shoulders. Kallon also placed equal responsibility on Cassian and Azriel’s shoulders, seeing as they were not only Illyrian bastards but also close to Rhys and followed his orders. However, after taking over his father as camp lord of Ironcrest, Kallon was silenced once Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel visited the camp. Rhysand made sure to make his presence in the camp known by having Cassian add it to his rotation of monthly check-ins. Not even a year later, the rumors of his insubordination had quieted. We thought the issue was over until Azriel’s recent reports picked up on more of Kallon’s old talks resurfacing amongst the war camps. During this year's Blood Rite, the trio made it a priority to scavenge any details during their stay in Bloodhaven under the guise of attending and observing the Rite and all its ceremonies and celebrations for their new Illyrian warriors.</p><p>“I had Azriel scout the surrounding war camps, and he only picked up on a few of the details we already knew of. It seems they were smart enough to keep their mouths shut with their High Lord present,” He said, moving to press his nose against the hollow of my neck and inhaled my scent once again.</p><p>I giggled, tangling my fingers in his hair, “Stop trying to deflect, I want to know more about what happened.”</p><p>“So do I,” he breathed deeply, spreading his fingers out on my stomach again as if he were still trying to inspect it.</p><p>I furrowed my brow, “Why do you keep touching my stomach and smelling me?”</p><p>“Now who’s deflecting?”</p><p>“I’m serious.”</p><p>“So am I,” he said, raising his head to look at me. “You were sick while I was gone, and lied to me about it. Now I’m back and your scent is off, I’m trying to figure out why.”</p><p>“I didn’t lie,” I muttered, avoiding his consuming gaze for a minute before eventually meeting his eyes; nothing but sheer worry lined them and I sighed, “I was only sick for a few days. It started the night I woke up from that nightmare and puked my guts up. The next day I was sick to my stomach for a few hours, and it was on-and-off for a few days after. I’ve been really tired ever since, but the puking stopped two days ago.”</p><p>He frowned, “What could have possibly made you sick?”</p><p>I shrugged, “You know how many children I’m around during my painting lessons at the studio. Odds are one of them had something I caught. But I’m <em>fine</em> now, really,” I promised.</p><p>His shoulders relaxed a bit, but his hand remained on my stomach, “That doesn’t explain why your scent would be different.”</p><p>“Are you saying I smell <em>bad</em>?” I pretended to be hurt.</p><p>“Well…” he grinned mischievously as I rolled my eyes and tried turning away from him, but his strong arms kept me in place gently. “Maybe it has to do with our mating bond. A sick female would alarm her mate via her scent.”</p><p>“Well there you go. Now that I’m getting better, my regular old scent will come back,” I said, brushing a stray lock of hair from his face.</p><p>He chuckled, his nose returning to the soft hollow at the base of my neck “Maybe you’re pregnant.” </p><p>I rolled my eyes; he liked to make that joke every time I so much as yawned or expressed any mild manner of fatigue. “I’m not pregnant,” I reluctantly admitted, “I’m due for my cycle in a couple of weeks, if anything <em>that’s</em> probably why I’m still so drained.”</p><p>“Should I send for Madja?” He asked, half serious.</p><p>I shook my head, “We don’t need to bother her every time my cycle returns, Rhys.”</p><p>“You say that every time, and every time she ends up prescribing pain-relieving tonics and a slew of herbal teas,” he reasoned, his finger tracing lazy circles around my navel once again.</p><p>I smiled, “Which is why I stocked up last time she was here, so don’t call her.”</p><p>He sighed reluctantly, but I felt his smile on my skin as he pressed a kiss to the spot, “Fine, but I reserve my right to take care of you.”</p><p>I nodded and placed a hand on his chin, tilting his head up in a gesture which he immediately responded to by joining our lips in another deep kiss. “I guess I can deal with that,” I allowed.</p><p>He chuckled darkly as he moved from my lips and down my neck, leaving a trail of kisses. I sighed deeply, wanting to give in to another round with him, but I needed to know more about the war camps.</p><p>“Did Cassian and Azriel stay behind this morning?” I asked him.</p><p>I blinked in alarm at his feral growl as he heard their names, his hands holding me a little more protectively, which seemed to shock him as well. He cleared his throat, “Yes, but they’ll return this afternoon,” he said quietly.</p><p>“Rhys,” I began, but he shook his head in apology.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m not sure <em>what</em> that was,” he said, true remorse behind his words.</p><p>“You haven’t acted this way since we were newly mated,” I said with a frown; now it was my turn to be concerned.</p><p>He nodded in agreement, “I know. I think after our time apart, some of my primitive instincts have returned,” he admitted sheepishly.</p><p>I smiled in understanding, “I guess this means you’re not allowed to be apart from me for this long ever again.”</p><p>“I don’t want to be overbearing,” he divulged, and I knew the thought troubled him.</p><p>I shook my head, “You’re not. I didn’t enjoy our time apart any more than you did,” I reassured, running my hands down his arms before adding “And when you came back...well, you saw how eager I was.”</p><p>His feline smile sent my heart fluttering wildly, and I felt that subtle glimmer return at my core for a few seconds. Rhys must have felt it too, because his hand returned to its place on my stomach, “Ever since I felt that tremor between us, my instincts have been heightened. It took everything in my power not to winnow back home to you that night,” he explained.</p><p>“It’s probably because I was sick,” I reasoned. “If your innate fae instincts tell you your mate is sick and you can’t tend to them, of course those possessive feelings return.”</p><p>He didn’t seem to be that satisfied with my explanation, still ashamed of his behavior, but he nodded. His eyes glanced down at his hand, that earlier scrutiny lining his eyes again. Before I could press him about it, he leaned in to kiss me and sighed deeply.</p><p>“Still, I promise I’ll do my best to repress them. Will you bear with me in the meantime?” He asked solemnly.</p><p>I nodded, giving him another reassuring smile. “As long as you bear with mine,” I said quietly, shifting my weight in his arms so I could hover over him.</p><p>That mischievous grin returned to his handsome face as I straddled him, but faltered when my stomach growled. “Maybe we should have some breakfast first,” he suggested, hands gripping my waist lightly to nudge us apart.</p><p>I didn’t budge, instead nipping at a particularly tender spot on his neck that I frequently favored. “Later,” I breathed, a hand dragging down his chest lightly.</p><p>He agreed with a groan and leaned his head back as he yielded to my touch.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Starfall was quickly approaching and the whole estate was buzzing with activity and preparations for our upcoming party. After witnessing and observing her first Starfall, Elain fell in love with the holiday. Since moving into the estate and coming up with the idea that we hold the festivities here, she took over planning for the event and made every year a grand celebration. In the years prior, it was always Mor and I that arranged some kind of gathering for the Inner Circle and my sisters at the House of Wind, along with the people of Velaris. Admittingly, I was never any good at it—not that I was obligated to, as Rhys pointed out every year. He made sure to remind me that while I <em>was</em> indeed his wife, as High Lady I was under no obligation to plan extravagant and elaborate parties for our court. I wasn’t the prized and pretty Lady that Ianthe and Tamlin previously tried to make me into. Despite this, I grew to actually enjoy planning some of the details of the celebration with Elain every year. Most of the work was orchestrated and run by her; now Mor and I only gladly assisted her.</p><p>With Starfall also being <em>my</em> favorite fae holiday, I couldn’t help feeling a little sentimental every year. My first ever had followed the months I was finally beginning to heal from the events of Under the Mountain; it was also the day I realized I was in love with Rhys. It was like an anniversary of sorts, and I knew the same was true for him. To Rhysand, it was the first he was able to celebrate in nearly fifty years with his friends—his family; when he also started to heal. That night, and every night we celebrated Starfall in the last several years, we danced together until all of our other companions cleared out for the evening. The spirits always seemed to join us as they glittered across the night sky and into early dawn. The beauty of it always inspired me to paint, and over the decade I painted a series of portraits and landscapes depicting whatever Starfall memory resurfaced. Some of them were of the sky itself glittering with the spirits; some were of our silhouettes dancing on the balcony with the landscape behind us, and some were of Rhys’s handsome face with the star spirit that had splattered on it. I often dreamt of the way we laughed that night; how I smiled for the first time in months and the look of awe in his face.</p><p>Starfall was undoubtedly <em>our</em> holiday.</p><p>This year, however, might be the first I probably wouldn’t get to enjoy myself. Although the symptoms of my illness were now gone, I couldn’t shake this lingering fatigue. I was beginning to worry it would hinder my ability to stay up and dance with Rhys. I held onto that tradition throughout the year, because it was the one day and night, we spent together without having to worry about our responsibilities as High Lord and Lady. This near-crippling fatigue was threatening my one peaceful day of the year.</p><p>Lately I was often drained of energy, and in the last week I took regular naps in order to make it to dinnertime. On most nights, I would be thoroughly depleted of any strength, and I knew everyone was beginning to take notice. After falling asleep halfway through our meal and Rhys having to gently wake me up, Cassian tried to cancel our usual morning training sessions—which I refused. Just because I was exhausted didn’t mean I couldn’t keep up with my regular strength training routine. I also noticed that since their return from the mountains, he and Azriel seemed to linger in whatever common room I was in; as if they were keeping a watchful eye on me, even with Rhys glued to my side. True to his word, Rhys reeled in his primal male-bonded instincts after his return. Our mating frenzy ebbed out a couple of days after, and once we integrated ourselves back into our everyday routine, he was definitely more at ease. However, after noticing how spent I was at the end of the day, I could tell a fraction of it returned—as much as he tried to suppress it.</p><p>Mor and Amren mostly teased me when I dozed off during the day; the former more often than the latter, and Elain just pushed a slew of different herbal teas at me throughout the day and promised it would help keep me awake. Even Nesta, who rarely left neither her living quarters nor the library, seemed to worry about me and visited me at random intervals throughout the day; sometimes delivering a cup of tea on Elain’s behalf. Though she mostly just took a quick survey of my form and left.</p><p>After a few days of this, I became determined not to cause any of them more concern and now did my best to hide my fatigue as much as possible. I forced myself not to take anymore naps, gulped down multiple cups of Elain’s tea, and perked myself up for dinner. Luckily, the nightmares that had recurred for a short time no longer plagued me at night; a small mercy when I was weary and needed the night to re-energize. I knew it all had to do with my previous illness, and I would not allow it to rule over me—especially with Starfall only a day away. At breakfast this morning I demanded Cassian and I resume our normal training session after he tried insisting again that we cancel. In spite of Rhys agreeing with me, I noticed Cassian swear under his breath before reluctantly agreeing as well.</p><p>I chose to ignore it at that moment, and the duration of our meal resumed without issue. After the conversation switched from resuming my training, we all began discussing our anticipation for Starfall. Mor theorized that there might be more spirits this year than there had been in several decades, claiming her power of truth revealed it to her in a dream. In true Inner Circle fashion, they all placed their bets on the validity of her claims. Even I placed a bet, hoping in Mor’s favor that there would be a grand star fall unlike any I ever dreamed. In the last ten years, the spirits numbers continued to dwindle, and every year I hoped it would change. After finishing our meals and excusing ourselves from the table, I walked back to our bedroom with Rhys to change into my training leathers.</p><p>“Don’t think I’m trying to stop you,” Rhys started once we were inside, “but I feel compelled to ask if it's possible for you to take it easy during your training today?”</p><p>I glanced at him, “Why would I do that?” I asked.</p><p>He gave me a knowing look, and I rolled my eyes, “Rhys, I’m<em> fine</em> in case you haven’t noticed.”</p><p>“Oh I’ve noticed alright, noticed how much you try to hide your exhaustion. Did you forget about our lovely bond, Feyre darling?” he asked as he grinned smugly and I tossed my top at him as I pulled it off, grabbing my training tunic to pull over my head.</p><p>“Whatever smartass. I’m fine, I’m just tired from all the party planning with Elain and Mor. Being a High Lady and supervising everything is just <em>exhausting</em>,” I lamented with a dramatic sigh.</p><p>He chuckled and folded my blouse, setting it on the bed before leaning against the doorframe as he watched me change. “If you’re sure,” he conceded. “Try not to give Cassian a hard time for going easy on you, because you know he will.”</p><p>“I can handle Cassian. It's about time I vent some of my frustration on you overprotective Illyrian males,” I said with a grin as I finished dressing.</p><p>His smug grin was his only response as I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving the room and down the hall that led to the training pit. Cassian was already waiting for me, arms crossed over his broad chest and I noticed Azriel standing in the distance. While he seemed to be observing Elain as she clipped fresh flowers in the greenhouse, I knew he was actually taking it upon himself to keep a close eye on two of the Archeron sisters.</p><p>“Well since you’ve been so damn sleepy lately, we’re going back to the basics today,” he grinned and held his palms up, motioning me forward.</p><p>“I have not,” I insisted before raising a brow, “basic punching forms? Really?”</p><p>“Look, I’m not going to keep battling with a pre…pretty sick female,” he corrected himself, eyes narrowing in a cringe at his own choice of words.</p><p>I stared at him blankly, moving my hands to my hips, “Wanna tell me what’s going on?” I demanded.</p><p>He shrugged simply, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“‘Pretty sick female’?” I posed</p><p>He shrugged again, “I stuttered.” He held his hands up, motioning me to advance.</p><p>I rolled my eyes and began landing blows into his palm, keeping a steady pace for a few minutes before I felt that glimmer at my core. I stopped, blinking as it sparkled in my abdomen for a few seconds and suddenly stopped. I hadn’t felt it in almost a week, and thought it finally faded away along with my other symptoms. It felt...stronger this time, as if it were a gut-shattering feeling trying to warn me of something.</p><p>I shrugged it away and re-positioned my fists and stance, looking to Cassian, who was frowning at my hesitation. “What was that?” He asked.</p><p>“Nothing,” I promised.</p><p>“Feyre, I-”</p><p>“It was nothing, Cassian.” I snapped, motioning for him to let me resume.</p><p>His frown deepened before he slowly raised his hands, palms facing in my direction. I landed a couple more blows before the world around me suddenly spun. I didn’t have time to reorient myself, everything twisting away from me and I only knew that I lost my footing when a pair of strong arms caught me.</p><p>Spinning, spinning, <em>spinning</em>.</p><p>I heard voices calling out my name, but couldn’t register who they belonged to as a high-pitched whine resounded loudly in my ears—drowning out everything and everyone, my world still whirling in circles. I closed my eyes, willing everything to settle for a minute. I briefly heard Rhys’s voice, but couldn’t discern his words as I opened my eyes again. I was able to see his face for a few seconds before darkness edged in around my vision; taking over completely a second later.</p><hr/><p>I blinked slowly, everything blurry as I regained consciousness. It took me a second longer to register my surroundings, realizing I was laying on my bed and I could hear Rhys’s voice outside the bedroom door—giving orders. I sighed, realizing what happened out in the training pit and slowly sat up; afraid of the dizziness returning. I paused as my stomach churned and I groaned, fighting the oncoming queasiness.</p><p>Rhys, sensing I was awake, walked into the room and straight to my side, “I called Madja, she’s on her way,” he said, brushing the hair from my face.</p><p>I swallowed with a cringe, “You didn’t have to do that,” I argued weakly, resting a hand over my stomach in an attempt to settle it.</p><p>“You <em>fainted</em> Feyre. You’ve been tired, no—<em>exhausted</em>, all week. Before that, you were sick. Something’s not right,” he reasoned desperately, kneeling beside me and placing a hand over mine.</p><p>I was about to argue again, but I felt that oh-so-familiar flicker in the pit of my stomach. It fluttered wildly between us, like a heartbeat—my heartbeat, pounding beneath his touch and through our bond. I let out a shuddering breath, my stomach roiling violently in protest and I cringed, trying not to let it overwhelm me.</p><p>Alarmed, Rhys straightened, but before he could say anything, I was up and rushing for the bathing room with him on my heels. He pulled my hair back in time as I vomited into the toilet, sobbing a bit between each heave. He rubbed gentle circles on my back as I wretched. When my stomach finally settled and the wave of nausea ebbed, he flushed the toilet for me as I caught my breath and leaned back against his chest. He held me like that for a minute as I sniffed and regained my strength, rubbing my arms lightly.</p><p>“Better?” he asked quietly.</p><p>I nodded and sighed deeply, slowly sitting upright with his help, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”</p><p>He cupped my chin lightly, his eyes meeting mine, “You have nothing to be sorry for, Feyre. It's not your fault you're sick,” he said before standing and helping me to my feet.</p><p>He kept a hand on the small of my back as we walked back into the room and I frowned. It made no sense why my symptoms returned so abruptly. “I really thought I was fine. I mean, I <em>felt</em> a lot better,” I tried to explain as I sat on the bed.</p><p>Rhys turned his wrist over, summoning a damp washcloth from whatever magic storage he usually summoned from, and motioned me to lie down. “Just relax for now. Madja will be here shortly and she’ll examine you,” he said.</p><p>I sighed in resignation, laying back and moaning in relief as he pressed the washcloth on my forehead. I smiled in gratitude and he returned it with a solemn nod. I gripped his free hand and squeezed it reassuringly.</p><p>“Don’t look so grim,” I said. “I’m just sick, nothing more.”</p><p>He nodded again, forcing a smile to his own lips that didn’t reach his eyes, and I knew he was in full mother hen protective mode. I could see his tense shoulders, truly ill at ease over my health. He would probably remain that way for the duration of whatever illness was plaguing me, just like he always did when I was on my cycle.</p><p>I paused as the thought suddenly occurred to me. I made sure my shield of adamant was still up, knowing how vulnerable it was lately, and checked over my mental calendar.</p><p>I was<em> late</em>. <em>Very</em> late.</p><p>As a human, as a high fae, I was never late for my cycle. I remembered briefly panicking when I realized I hadn’t gotten one after being made, before learning and actually suffering through my first. In educating me about what a fae cycle entailed, Madja also taught me how to discern between the symptoms of my cycle...and early pregnancy. Nausea, fatigue...and a missed cycle. I quickly ran through my memories of the last few weeks; while I had experienced a certain level of fatigue during my cycles, they were never to this extreme. The nausea spells I equated to my nightmares or whatever mysterious illness I thought I had, but now after just realizing <em>how</em> late I actually was…</p><p>Was I finally pregnant?</p><p>Since his return, Rhys still pointed out that my scent remained off. At first, we both wrote it off as part of my illness, but it was all starting to make sense. If I was pregnant, if our child was actually growing inside of me, it would explain why my scent was different. I tried not to react as I met Rhys’s concerned gaze and squeezed his hand again, willing my galloping heart not to give me away.</p><p>“Who were you talking to outside?” I asked, motioning outside our door.</p><p>“Cassian and Mor. They, and Azriel, saw you go down and Cassian caught you before sending Mor to call for me,” he explained, moving the cloth to my cheek. “They’re all worried about you.”</p><p>“You should let them know I’m okay when Madja gets here,” I suggested, genuinely wanting him to reassure the others and their concerns over my well-being.</p><p>“I’m not leaving your side, Feyre,” he said firmly.</p><p>“I’m not a child Rhys. I don’t need the High Lord standing idly by as the healer examines me,” I argued.</p><p>His overprotective behavior also made sense now. We were <em>mates</em>, of course his primal instincts would make him aware of my pregnancy before he was. <em>If</em> I was pregnant; I needed to confirm it with Madja before I revealed my suspicions. If I told him that I might be pregnant, he would be prematurely ecstatic. We both had ten long years of yearning for our first-born child, and if I was somehow wrong about this, if I raised both of our hopes up only to be told I wasn’t actually pregnant...I wouldn’t be able to bear the disappointment.</p><p>I felt his reluctance and he forced a smirk as he brought my hand up to his lips, “As my High Lady commands,” he said quietly, and I could hear the silent ache behind his words.</p><p>I moved my hand to cup his cheek, “You know I’ll be in great hands when she gets here. Let everyone know I’m feeling a little better, and when Madja finishes examining me then I’ll fill you in. It won’t be anything serious,” I promised.</p><p>I was either sick with some ridiculous faerie ailment, or pregnant. I hoped to the Mother it was the latter as we heard a delicate knock on our bedroom door. Rhys was immediately up and went to answer the door; I sat up as he led her inside.</p><p>“Hello again my lady,” the older female greeted, her dark eyes sparkling lightly as she set her healer’s bag aside.</p><p>I returned her friendly greeting with a smile and looked over at Rhys, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he hesitated in the doorway. He gave me a once-over and met Madja’s gaze as she waited for one of us to give her an order. I cleared my throat and Rhys looked at me again, I brushed his dark shields lightly and he let them down for me.</p><p>
  <em>I’ll be alright. Let the others know that everything’s fine and that I’m being seen now.</em>
</p><p>I saw him hesitate for a fraction of a second before he nodded. “I’ll be in the sitting room,” he said, almost a warning before he finally left the room.</p><p>“What seems to be the problem dear?” Madja asked, as I sighed deeply. “The High Lord informed me that you collapsed, and you’ve been rather ill. Would you care to elaborate?”</p><p>“I uh, actually,” I fumbled over my words, unsure of how to even say them now. The healer was patient as she took my wrist gently to check my pulse; her usual first step in her examinations that allowed me a moment to gather my bearings.</p><p>“I’m late for my cycle,” I managed. “A few weeks ago, these awful nausea spells started and lasted a few days, and I’ve been so exhausted. Exhausted isn’t even the right word for it; I have no energy. This week was the worst of it, and then today…” I trailed off before glancing down at my stomach briefly, “I realized I’m a week late.”</p><p>The older female nodded, her dark wrinkled fingers releasing their gentle hold on my wrist and motioned me to lay down, “Have you experienced any sensitivity, or swelling, in your breasts? Unusually frequent trips to the bathing room?” she asked, her hands moving to my blouse before meeting my gaze for permission to further her examination.</p><p>I nodded as I thought it over, her delicate hands rolling my tunic up to expose my abdomen. I blushed as I recalled Rhys’s recent comments about my breasts. He often admired them, but after our reunion last week he happily noted that they seemed more...<em>endowed </em>than he remembered.</p><p>“I think my breasts are a little swollen, but they haven’t been sensitive,” I admitted. Her hands now palpated my abdomen gently and I gasped as I felt that glimmer return. She must have noticed it as well because her hands immediately halted.</p><p> “A-Also that, I’ve felt that a few times now, and right before I fainted it was strong. Stronger than I’ve ever felt it before, and the next thing I knew the world was spinning,” I explained with a frown.</p><p>The female’s dark features seemed to brighten as she grinned and took my hand again, moving it to rest on my abdomen, “My lady, that feeling is your youngling. I don’t need to finish my examination to confirm that you are indeed pregnant.”</p><p>I gaped at her, glancing at my hand on my stomach, “W-What do you mean...?” I choked.</p><p>She chuckled lightly and placed her hand over mine, “You and the High Lord have a powerful mating bond. These bonds are rare today, but one as strong as yours allows you to have a keen sense for one another. Back in our primitive history, there were no tests or examinations to confirm a pregnancy. If a mated female was pregnant, once her youngling developed enough in the womb, her bond would alarm her and her mate that they had been successful in producing offspring. Over the centuries, this innate ability dampened to a dull and gentle glimmer,” she smiled as she explained. “It is rare even now, but in the case of a powerfully mated High Lord and High Lady, it is there. Congratulations, you are pregnant.”</p><p>I exhaled a long breath without realizing I had been holding it in throughout her speech. My eyes burned as I looked at my stomach again, my fingers brushing my skin lightly as I felt the flutter pulse through me again. After a decade of trying; of being disappointed year after year and both of us dreaming and longing for the first-born son the Bone Carver showed me all those years ago, the moment was finally here. After ten years of loving Rhysand, of almost losing him forever, I had a piece of him with me.</p><p>His child, <em>our</em> child, was growing inside me. The beautiful little boy who looked like an exact replica of his father; who I saw in my dreams and longed to cradle in my arms would finally arrive. My heart fluttered at the thought of Rhys holding this child, of his warm smile and loving eyes. I couldn’t help but sob at the idea of it all, my mind immediately scrambling for ideas on how I would reveal the news to him. I wanted nothing more than to surprise him, and I was glad I had convinced him to step out while Madja examined me. The effect would have been lost had he been hovering over me as the healer worked.</p><p>No, I would deliver the news the same way I had gifted him the vision of our son on that Winter Solstice we decided to start a family. This time however, I would finally get to announce the arrival of our son on Starfall.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was all I could do to keep from bursting into joyous tears as Madja announced that I was ten weeks along in my pregnancy. Upon revealing that my suspicions were true, she completed a thorough examination. She determined that since I was in the early stages, that was the cause of lingering sickness and fatigue. Unfortunately, those symptoms would continue until I was about halfway along; where most females felt the best and most of the unlikeable symptoms eased a bit. I was also surprised to learn that a fae pregnancy lasts five weeks longer than a human’s, but it made sense on a larger scale. As powerful immortal beings, we needed more time in the womb to develop.</p><p>After her examination, she prescribed a few prenatal herbal teas that I would need to drink in order to aid in the baby’s growth. I smiled at the word, brushing my fingertips along my abdomen again—knowing this would become a new habit for me, and for Rhys. A baby, <em>our</em> baby, growing strong inside of me as Madja promised. He would be as strong as his father, the most powerful High Lord in Prythian, and with my powers combined…</p><p>My smile faltered as I realized what this meant.</p><p>Years ago, Rhys confided in me about his concern over any potential offspring he might have, afraid they would be hunted and sought after by his enemies. If his children inherited his abilities alone, they would be just as powerful. What did that threat mean now with my blood mixed in?</p><p><em>Cursebreaker</em>. <em>Cauldron-blessed</em>. The first ever High Lady in Prythian, who inherited a drop of power from all seven of the High Lords after being resurrected.</p><p>What powers would my child inherit from me? Combined with Rhys’s, our child’s strength would surpass both of ours alone; which meant the same for all the other High Lords of Prythian. We had alliances now, but how many of those would change after they learned about my son? After they saw a fraction of their power in him, in combination with Rhysand’s? My mind began to race and breathing became difficult as I looked down at my stomach, my fingers gripping my tunic in panic. Would he be in danger? Who were we close enough with to know that they would never consider such a thing? What if they came after him before he was born? Would they target me? I had to do <em>something</em>, but what if there was nothing I <em>could</em> do?</p><p>I had to protect him—my baby.</p><p>
  <em>Protect, protect, protect. </em>
</p><p>“My lady,” a gentle voice interrupted the rising chaos in my mind, even gentler hands gripping my shoulders and I saw the healer’s dark eyes meet mine as she leveled a look at me.</p><p>I became aware of my ragged breathing, hunched back and tense shoulders, trembling. Her delicate, wrinkled hands moved from my shoulders to either side of my face. A blue aura illuminated those hands as they touched my face, and slowly I calmed. Slowly, my shoulders relaxed and I slid my eyes closed as my breaths evened out, a few tears escaping past my lids.</p><p>After a few seconds of that peace, Madja slowly let go of my face and straightened, “You mustn’t be afraid, my lady. Your child <em>will</em> be a very powerful high fae, but you are surrounded by friends—family. The uncertainty the future brings may be frightening, but there is also joy in it,” she said gently as she handed me a handkerchief. “That is what you must focus on right now. The joy in a healthy and developing baby.”</p><p>I sniffed as I dabbed at my eyes, nodding in agreement “Thank you Madja. I just felt so overwhelmed for a minute,” I lamented.</p><p>“Oh, I see this reaction more often than you would believe. First time mothers have many fears, and you will be no different. Just remember the joy in it,” she reassured.</p><p>She was right, I couldn’t allow the fear to consume me. I wouldn’t let it control me or take away from this moment of happiness. This baby, our <em>son</em>, was a miracle. Fae children were difficult to conceive, but Rhys and I had done it. We were going to have a baby; over half a millennia later one would be born into the Night Court’s ruling family—<em>my</em> family. He would be cherished by our Inner Circle, and loved by the people of Velaris; just as they loved Rhys. My heart swelled as I pictured what the moment of joy would look like on his face when I told him; how those violet eyes would brighten and sparkle like the stars and how he would grin. I wanted to paint that moment more than anything, and now after a decade of waiting, I finally would.</p><p>“Shall I call the High Lord in for the good news?” she asked as she began packing up her bag of supplies.</p><p>“Oh no, please don’t tell him yet,” I urged and she raised an amused brow at me as I flushed, “I want to surprise him...tomorrow at Starfall.”</p><p>She nodded her understanding, “I see,” she said as she finished packing and grabbed my hands, squeezing them lightly. “The High Lord will be thrilled, my lady,” she said, and the genuine delight in her voice caused my eyes to burn.</p><p>She laughed heartily at the silver lining my eyes, “Expect more of that. Your hormones will cause plenty of surges in your emotions,” she explained empathetically.</p><p>I grimaced, “In other words, I’ll be an emotional mess.”</p><p>She laughed again and patted my hands, “All completely normal. For now, drink that brew of herbs I gave you three times a day, get plenty of rest, and I will be back next week to check your progress.”</p><p>I nodded and walked her to the door of my bedroom, “Thank you Madja,” I said.</p><p>“You’re welcome my lady,” she said sweetly before leaving me alone with my thoughts.</p><p>I touched my stomach tentatively, knowing underneath layers of skin and muscle my child was growing—safely. He was finally real; a manifestation of the love Rhys and I had for each other. So far, only the healer and I knew of his existence, and soon Rhysand would know as well. For the moment, I caressed my still flat stomach and cherished this little time we had alone.</p><hr/><p>The hours leading up to our Starfall celebration would be torturous.</p><p>Once I emerged from my room and the healer left, everyone was eager to hear her diagnosis of my condition. I did my best to reassure them all that I was perfectly fine, and simply needed more time to recover from my previous illness. Not a complete lie, but I knew they were all unconvinced—especially my mate. I immediately knew that keeping up a façade would be difficult, but luckily, I had plenty of experience with masks of deception. Years in the Night Court with occasional appearances in the Court of Nightmares, and serving as High Lady would certainly assist me in hiding my pregnancy for at least the next twenty-four hours or so.</p><p>Later, after we turned in for the night, Rhys begged for a detailed account of Madja’s official diagnosis. I again had to convince him that I was all right, which was technically true. I was pregnant, not sick; so aside from my body working hard to grow a high fae baby, I <em>was</em> fine. An hour into him trying to pry me for more information, I finally managed to silence him by pushing him onto the bed and straddling his hips. This morning however, was more of a struggle. Madja warned me that the fatigue would linger throughout the next several months of my pregnancy, but I soon realized it was going to be an uphill battle to force myself from bed, let alone try and convince my mate that I was still on the road to recovery.</p><p>Thankfully, Starfall was finally here; one of our rare days off, and I could use it to my advantage. It had been a while since we spent a day alone together; in the weeks that followed since his return from the Illyrian mountains, we fell back into our regular routine with our schedules as High Lord and Lady. Despite our initial reunion and the brief mating frenzy renewed, which caused us to sneak away from time to time throughout the day, we still attended to our responsibilities. But today was <em>our</em> holiday, and a year from now our child would be here to celebrate his first Starfall. Soon it would no longer be just the two of us, my sisters and our Inner Circle; soon there would be an infant for us to raise and love, so I wanted to continue to take advantage of our time alone while we still had it.</p><p>I convinced Rhys to let us spend the morning in bed together, where we took our time worshipping each other's bodies, ate a hearty breakfast and lounged together well into the afternoon. By lunchtime, I felt my energy renew and we enjoyed our lunch in the gardens before we parted to finalize last minute details for the party. Traditionally, that meant Mor and I attended to any directions Elain might have for us and the Illyrians did...well whatever they liked to do before a party.</p><p>“They’re probably at Rita’s right now having drinks,” Mor wondered aloud as she and I rearranged the refreshments table in the grand hall.</p><p>I stepped back to review my work, and shrugged, “Maybe, but there’s plenty of drinks here, so that doesn’t make much sense,” I reasoned.</p><p>“Neither does ‘I’m getting over a cold, I promise,’” she mocked.</p><p>I glared at her, but she threw her head back with a laugh, “Don’t look so serious Feyre, whatever secret you have is safe with me.”</p><p>I bristled, moving to fuss with a flower arrangement by the table, “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said as casually as I could.</p><p>“I’ve been keeping a secret for most of my existence, Feyre, I think that makes me an expert,” she said.</p><p>I paused and looked her way, “Mor-” I began but she held a hand up to stop me.</p><p>“Like I said, it's safe with me,” she said and a look of understanding silently passed between us before she turned to the next task Elain set out for her.</p><p>Maybe she did already know, and maybe she didn’t. Either way, I believed that she wouldn’t reveal it to Rhys or anyone else for that matter. I took a step back again to examine the room, happy with the decorations Elain meticulously had installed every year. Sparkling bowls of fae lights lit the room in a warm glow, allowing the white marble floors and moonstone columns to illuminate naturally. The delicate chiffon curtains adorning the windowless arched walls were decorated with tiny sparkles of fae light, a design Elain created herself, and accentuated the varying shades of cream, ivory and silver flower arrangements spread out throughout the room. They framed the horizon perfectly and opened up to the expansive veranda that led right into the gardens, allowing guests to move in and out of the estate easily and a perfect view of the spirits' journey across the night sky as we all danced. It was initially my idea to host the people of Velaris in the grand hall, remembering that these were the kind of memories I wanted to make in our new home.</p><p>I touched my stomach briefly when Mor wasn’t looking. What would he look like in a year? He would be too small to run around and try to disturb any decorations, so perhaps I would walk him around the estate and show off all the adornments before Rhys and I would put him to bed. We’d no doubt be exhausted, but happy. Maybe we’d celebrate Starfall privately in our suite, just the three of us. I felt that glimmer in the pit of my stomach and I smiled. <em>Would you like that, little one? </em>I thought to myself, wondering if he could hear me.</p><p>“It’s perfect!” Elain cheered as she and Nesta walked into the room.</p><p>I quickly moved my hand from my stomach as I turned to face them, but not fast enough for Nesta not to take notice. Thankfully, she only raised a perfectly arched brow at me, “Shouldn’t you be getting ready? Your guests will be arriving shortly,” she reminded me.</p><p>I nodded, “I was just about to leave,” I said as I looked over their attire.</p><p>Elain wore a delicate soft pink strapless A-line gown with a glitter ombre falling from her bust line down to the floor; a braid crowning the top of her head with the rest of her hair flowing just past her shoulders. Nesta, as conservative as ever, wore a long-sleeved gown in a similar fashion, only in a deep violet with a more subtle glittering effect. Her hair was pulled back in a loosely braided bun, a few loose strands of curls framing her face. Despite her controlled face and aloof attitude, I was glad Nesta still joined us after Cassian all but dragged her here for our first celebration in the estate years ago.</p><p>“Nuala and Cerridwen are waiting for you in your suite, Feyre. You go get dressed, and I’ll greet everyone, don’t worry,” Elain said sweetly, brushing her hands over her gown when she realized I was looking, silently asking for my approval.</p><p>“Just as she does every year,” Nesta interjected as I offered Elain a nod of assent.</p><p>I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and began walking out, “I’ll be back with Rhys before it starts,” I said and made my way back up to my suite.</p><p>As Nuala and Cerridwen began my dressing routine, I began to play different scenarios of the speech I would give Rhys when I announced my pregnancy. Only to realize I didn’t really have a speech at all, and began scrambling for one. As memorable as I wanted this moment to be, I was sincerely lacking in creativity and eloquence. I sighed in defeat as I stood before the mirror, checking over my appearance—the same blue-white liquid starlight gown I adorned every year, and my hair swept away from my face with the same diamond studded combs I wore on my first Starfall. In an attempt to make tonight more memorable for Rhys, I wanted to recreate our first celebration together; I asked the shadowed-twins to style me the same way they had that night.</p><p>After dismissing themselves, I ran tentative fingers along my abdomen again before inhaling a deep and anxious breath. “Let’s go tell your father,” I said quietly, resigned with the fact that I would just have to wing whatever speech I would give Rhys for the news.</p><hr/><p>An hour into the party, after mingling with our friends and guests, the estate’s lights dimmed naturally and everyone began pooling out into the veranda as the star-spirits began their glittering descent. The sky was soon decorated with the spirits twirling and sparkling forms as the guests cheered with raised champagne glasses.</p><p>“Raise a glass, my love,” Rhys purred in my ear as he stepped up behind me, his chest brushing against my back as he offered the glass before me.</p><p>I hesitated, knowing it probably wasn’t wise to drink now that I knew I was expecting, but took the glass anyway before turning to face him, “Let’s go to our balcony,” I said as I straightened the collar of his traditional black jacket, tracing over the silver-lined pattern on his lapels lightly.</p><p>“Now?” He asked with his smug feline grin, “Usually we stay at least an hour after the dancing’s begun.”</p><p>“I know, but,” I paused, chewing over what to say next, “I wanted to ask you something.”</p><p><em>Something you can’t ask me around our guests?</em> He asked through the bond, his feline grin turning into a teasing one</p><p>I rolled my eyes before brushing past him and striding down the hall, not bothering to look back to make sure he was coming. <em>Well?</em></p><p>“Oh, I’m right behind you Feyre darling,” he purred in my ear again as his hand brushed over the small of my back, walking in step with me to the hall leading to our balcony.</p><p>“As you should be,” I said haughtily.</p><p>His dark chuckle reverberated through me, my stomach fluttering as I fought a smile and we stepped onto the balcony together. I walked up to the railing, setting my champagne glass aside and stared up at the sky as the star-spirits continued to sparkle and dance. Rhys’s fingers brushed up and down my spine softly as he watched with me, both of us in a comfortable silence. I watched from the corner of my eye as the stars illuminated his handsome face, a warm smile on his lips and I reached a hand down to hold his.</p><p>He turned that smile to me, “What did you want to ask me, my love?”</p><p>My heart skipped a beat as a question I was genuinely curious about popped into my mind, “What’s the first memory you have of Starfall?” I asked.</p><p>“That’s what you dragged me out here in the cold for?” He asked with a smirk, moving to stand behind me as he slid his arms around my waist and rested his chin atop the crown of my head.</p><p>I leaned into his embrace, perching my arms on his. <em>I really do want to know</em></p><p>His sigh was peaceful as he contemplated, searching his memory as we continued to watch the sparkling display. <em>Should I show you or do you want me to tell you?</em></p><p>“Tell me,” I answered quietly. My mind too tangled a mess to allow myself into his without the possibility of revealing my secret prematurely.</p><p>His arms tightened around me slightly as he smiled into my hair, “I was five years old. My mother and father brought me to the House of Wind, as they did every year. It was the first I managed to stay awake long enough to actually <em>see</em> the star-spirits,” he explained.</p><p>Gentle swells of music began to play behind us, and he swayed us from side to side smoothly. “It was years before they began to drift apart, so their relationship was strong. I remember it was the first time I realized how much they actually loved each other; for a time at least. I used to wonder how honest their love actually was, and my mind would always drift back to the memories of them dancing together on Starfall to remind me. It was also the night my mother announced she was pregnant with my sister.</p><p>“We were on the balcony at the House of Wind, watching the star shower. I was sitting on my father's shoulders, pointing out every spirit I saw. I was completely in awe of them. I think seeing my reaction made my mother cry, and when my father asked her what was wrong, she said to him ‘<em>I can’t wait for our next child to look at the stars the way he does</em>.’ The look on his face; the genuine elation in his eyes was enough to convince me that, for at least a part of my childhood, they had real love for each other.”</p><p>My eyes burned and my throat thickened as he relayed his memories, holding me close as we continued to sway together as the music continued to play. I moved to squeeze his hands lightly, his arms still wrapped around me from behind.</p><p>“That’s a beautiful memory, Rhys,” I whispered, my tears still threatening to spill.</p><p>He moved to bury his face in the crook of my neck, planting a kiss there as he breathed a peaceful sigh through his nose; still moving us along to the music, “Beautiful as it may be, my favorite Starfall memory will always be the first we shared together Feyre darling,” he whispered back.</p><p>I couldn’t help the few tears that fell as I closed my eyes with a smile, squeezing his hands a little harder. Words failed me in that moment and I opened my eyes again, both of our gazes turning to the sky as a large sprite glittered close to us. I gasped as the star-spirits began vaulting across the sky in greater numbers. They decorated the horizon in an endless dance—like liquid starlight sparkling above us as they danced and twirled. I heard the excited cheers of our guests on the other side of the estate and grinned. Mor was right, this year the spirits returned in vast amounts, unlike I ever imagined or thought possible.</p><p>
  <em>A thought for a thought, Feyre darling?</em>
</p><p>I smiled and grabbed his hands, moving them from my waist and resting them on my abdomen right as that glimmer pulsed through it. “I’m thinking, I can’t wait for <em>our</em> baby to look at the stars the way you do,” I said.</p><p>Rhys stiffened at my words and I turned in his arms, making sure his hands stayed on my stomach as my eyes met his, my eyes burning again “I’m pregnant, Rhys.”</p><p>His eyes widened and looked down at where our hands rested, as though he might see the evidence now that I said the words aloud. A second later he dropped to one knee before me, eye level with our joined hands as he caressed my stomach fondly.</p><p>His eyes, now lined with silver, met mine again, “You’re pregnant?” He choked out.</p><p>I nodded with a sob, my words failing me once again and he sucked in a breath as he looked at my abdomen again. “My son, the son you showed me on your birthday, is growing inside of you...now?” He asked, his throat thick.</p><p>I sobbed again, a wet laugh escaping as I nodded, “That’s what pregnant means,” I rasped.</p><p>I heard his own strangled sob before he shot up to his feet, pulling me into an embrace and lifting me off the ground as he spun me around, chanting my name over and over again. “FeyreFeyreFeyre,” he sobbed in my hair.</p><p>I laughed and sobbed and cried all at once, my arms wrapping around his shoulders as he planted me back onto the ground and held onto my waist. His forehead rested against mine and I brought my hands up to brush his tears away while my own shamelessly poured down my cheeks.</p><p>“When I first noticed how different your scent was, I thought it was possible, but I didn’t want to say anything and get our hopes up,” he explained as he brought his hands up to wipe my tears away as well.</p><p>“You were suspicious this whole time?” I sniffed with a laugh.</p><p>“You’re my mate, I knew something was going on, but you didn’t even seem to realize it so I didn’t say anything,” he said, thumbs running over my cheeks as I held his wrists gently.</p><p>I smiled, “To be fair, I didn’t catch on until yesterday, after I fainted. I can’t believe I was so dense,” I laughed in disbelief.</p><p>He shook his head, returning his hands and gaze to my stomach “You weren’t...neither of us saw it coming,” he said softly.</p><p>“We tried for so long Rhys,” I whispered, my hands coming to rest on his chest.</p><p>He caressed my stomach again, “We’re going to have a baby,” he swallowed and his violet eyes met mine. “I love you beyond measure, Feyre. You’ve given me more than I could have ever dreamed of, more than I could possibly deserve, and now,” he dropped to one knee, again surveying my stomach as he continued, “I can’t wait to meet the son you’re blessing me with.”</p><p>I sobbed again and wrapped my arms around him as he leaned in to place a kiss on my abdomen. He stayed there for a minute before rising again, slipping his arms around my waist and capturing my lips with his. I kissed him back deeply, holding him close as we resumed moving to the music—dancing slowly as the stars continued their whirling journey beyond the horizon. Our brows pressed together as we swayed, and I draped my arms over his shoulders as his hands held my waist.</p><p><em>After today, this better be your new favorite Starfall memory,</em> I said down the bond.</p><p>His answering smile was mischievous. <em>Until next year, when I can dance with you on one arm and my son on the other.</em></p><p>My heart tightened at the thought, and I kissed him again. <em>To the stars who listen, Rhys.</em></p><p>
  <em>To the dreams that are answered, Feyre. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you absolutely sure it's a boy?” Rhys asked me as we lay entangled in bed, his ear pressed against my bare stomach and his hand splayed just below my navel.</p><p>I giggled as I ran my fingers through his raven locks. In the week since I announced my pregnancy, he asked me different versions of the same question. His hands also seemed to have become permanently glued to my stomach; along with his ears and lips. Every chance he had, Rhys would try and get as close to the baby as possible—which I welcomed, absolutely content with how devoted he was. The morning after Starfall, Rhys insisted we visit Madja’s clinic in Velaris—determined to learn anything and everything there was to know about pregnancy and what it would entail for me. The healer happily obliged, and informed us both of what the next eight and a half months would look like. Not only was a high fae pregnancy longer than a human’s, but as with other fae ailments, any symptoms and risks I faced might be amplified.</p><p>There were the normal symptoms I was already accustomed to: nausea, vomiting, fatigue, and others I would soon face: backaches, swelling in my hands, face, and feet, and occasional headaches. Hearing about those symptoms didn’t cause any alarm, they were common and unfortunately came hand-in-hand with creating a new life. Madja also said that every female experienced her pregnancy differently; some had severe complications and had to be on strict bed rest, while others hardly experienced anything other than a few minor discomforts. I hoped for the latter of the two.</p><p>It was hearing about the risks, which included a small chance of bleeding that could lead to a miscarriage while we were still in an early phase, that made me nervous and caused Rhys to enter in a full-blown defensive mode. Any prior protective behavior he was experiencing before now intensified with his innate need to safeguard me and the baby. Madja assured us that this behavior was expected and normal between mates; with females in such a vulnerable condition, a male’s instinct was always to protect his mate and their offspring. To his credit, Rhys offered a sheepish grin along with an apology in advance. Having already witnessed what he was like after we were freshly mated, and how he managed to reign himself in, I knew most of it was beyond his control.</p><p>However, I welcomed some of his coddling after my unpleasant symptoms returned a day after our visit with Madja, and fluctuated throughout the week. The extreme fatigue seemed to be a permanent state I would stay in for the duration of my pregnancy, but I pleaded to the Mother that my nausea spells would soon cease. It was torture being unable to leave my room for periods of time throughout the day. Unfortunately, there was no predicting when the queasiness would hit, so for the time being I would have to bear with it and hope none of the others would notice and wonder why my seemingly mysterious illness still remained.</p><p>Rhys and I decided to hold off on revealing the news to our friends and my sisters until we were out of the realm of possibility for a miscarriage. Madja reassured me that the chances were slim and divulged that although it was difficult for high fae to conceive, it was also difficult to lose a pregnancy. In spite of my relief, I didn’t want to take any chances and asked the healer for all recommendations on how to stay as healthy as possible.</p><p>So, along with the prenatal herbal teas she initially prescribed, she also ordered that I immediately put a halt to my morning training sessions with Cassian—which Rhys whole-heartedly agreed with, much to my chagrin. As much as I enjoyed being active, however, I knew fainting after only a couple of minutes of basic punching forms was a sign that I should be taking it easier. My body was now working overtime to provide not only for myself, but for a baby that was growing more and more by the day. Instead, Madja suggested I take more time to rest and relax, to allow myself more free time for leisure activities like my painting. Knowing my concerns, and guilt, over becoming stagnant, Rhys promised my duties as High Lady wouldn’t be affected—which left me relieved.</p><p>However, as much as my mate knew how capable I was of tending to my regular duties as High Lady, I couldn’t help but be amused at how much he insisted on spoiling me. He now reserved the right to tend to my every want and need; whether I was weary or not, Rhys began to wait on my hand and foot under the guise that since I was carrying his child, he would carry everything else. I appreciated it most whenever I was feeling particularly nauseated or drained, but I drew the line whenever he tried to spoon feed me my meals—I still maintained my irritation for it, no matter how much of a mother hen he was going to be for the duration of my pregnancy. I also valued it on morning’s like today when I had awoken with little to no desire to leave the comforts of our bed—whether it was from my overwhelming fatigue or not.</p><p>“Yes, the Bone Carver appeared to me as our firstborn. A miniature version of you,” I answered with a sigh of mock exasperation.</p><p>“And you’re sure this mini-me didn’t happen to actually have long hair or maybe more feminine features? It <em>is</em> dark in the prison, afterall, maybe you missed a couple of details,” he tried to reason, raising his head to look at me.</p><p>“I showed you what <em>he</em> looked like,” I laughed.</p><p>“Ah yes, but I saw through your eyes Feyre darling. So to clarify the vision, I have to rely on the original source. In this case, that’s you,” he said, his grin positively feline.</p><p>I grabbed a pillow and smacked him with it as I laughed, “Smartass.”</p><p>His grin remained as he braced himself against my stomach playfully, “Careful darling, you’ll hurt the baby,” he teased.</p><p>I rolled my eyes and hit him again as he laughed, “It’s a boy. Maybe the next one will be a girl.”</p><p>“Next one?” He asked, his violet eyes lit up as they met mine with raised and amused brows.</p><p>“We’ll see. Let’s focus on our <em>son</em> first,” I said.</p><p>His chuckle reverberated through me as he pressed his ear to my still-flat stomach. Despite no growth progress being made on my pregnant belly, he was obsessed.</p><p>“I want him to know I’m here,” Rhys answered before I could ask; double checking to make sure that my mental shields were intact.</p><p>“He knows,” I said as I continued to brush my fingers through his hair. “He was calling out to you for weeks before either of us realized he was there.”</p><p>During our visit, I had Madja explain the mystery behind the faint glimmer that fluttered between us. The ancient inkling that existed between mates as a confirmation that they had successfully procreated. Rhys was in awe of the information, and hoped the glimmer would remain throughout the months. So far, my little glimmering baby was silent—perhaps reveling in finally being noticed.</p><p>“Still, it’s never too early to bond with my son,” he said with a grin as he pressed a chaste kiss to my stomach before subsequently moving from his spot and hovering above me. “Are you feeling well enough to have breakfast with everyone, or shall I bring you breakfast in bed?”</p><p>I sighed as I held his arms, lightly tracing the pattern of his tattoos as I debated, “I could honestly sleep for another couple of hours. You should go, let everyone know I’m okay,” I answered.</p><p>“I’m beginning to run out of excuses to explain why their High Lady has been so inclined to not leave her room.”</p><p>I hesitated, realizing how hard it actually was to keep up the deceit. A part of me knew Mor was suspicious of something already, having guessed Cauldron-knew-what on Starfall. The others I couldn’t even begin to guess what assumptions they made.</p><p>“Should we just tell them?” I asked. “I know we wanted to wait a little while longer, but it just doesn’t feel right to keep giving excuse after excuse.”</p><p>Rhys nodded in agreement, “I’m pretty sure Cassian and Azriel know <em>something</em>, but they have too much respect for your privacy to pry it out of me.”</p><p>I laughed and sighed tiredly, “Do you think they’ll be excited?” I asked.</p><p>He smirked, “Well I don’t think they’ll be disappointed.”</p><p>I rolled my eyes and pushed him away before sitting up as he chuckled. He caught my wrist carefully before I could get up from the bed, “I think they’ll be more than happy to hear there will soon be a new member of our Inner Circle,” he said.</p><p>I smiled, “He’s going to be spoiled, isn’t he?”</p><p>“Rotten, my love.” He replied as I laughed.</p><hr/><p>I didn’t realize how nervous I would actually be until we sat down for breakfast. Our morning routine was proceeding as normal—everyone gathering in our grand dining hall, another room I was particularly proud of in the estate. I planned for it to be large enough to fit all of us comfortably, and took extra consideration for the Illyrian brothers and their mighty wings.</p><p>I took comfort in seeing everyone in their customary morning moods; Amren and Mor chattering over a new line of jewelry on display at their favorite shop at the Palace of Thread and Jewels, Elain displaying a book of pressed flowers she had been collecting to Azriel—who actually requested to see it the night before, and Nesta keeping a watchful eye on the pair while Cassian engaged her in some kind of boastful conversation. I was actually surprised to see how close they were sitting together without Nesta having a sneer on her face. I tried to remember the last time it was she even looked at him with a sneer at all.</p><p><em>Getting distracted, my love? </em>Rhys asked down the bond.</p><p>I glanced at him and took a sip from my glass of orange juice. <em>What, should I just blurt it out while they aren’t paying attention?</em></p><p>
  <em>Why not? </em>
</p><p>I paused. <em>Really?</em></p><p>
  <em>If you don’t, then perhaps I will.</em>
</p><p>I blinked and opened my mouth to say it, but when the words refused to come out, Rhys grinned mischievously before simply turning in his seat and said, “Feyre darling is pregnant.”</p><p>Everyone’s eyes instantly turned to me and I blushed under their collective gaze. There was quiet for little more than two heartbeats before Mor and Elain’s high-pitched squeals met the air and the sounds of chairs scraping the floor filled the room as everyone moved. Mor was the first to reach me as she threw her arms around me in a warm embrace.</p><p>“Oh, I knew it, I knew it!” She cheered as she hugged me and my eyes burned as she pulled away, Elain wrapping me in her arms next.</p><p>“I can’t believe it, Feyre, you’re going to have a baby!” she exclaimed, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Azriel and Cassian congratulating Rhys with clasps on the shoulder.</p><p>I laughed aloud when Cassian wrapped an arm around his shoulder and wrestled him around, “I knew you had it in you Rhysie!” he exclaimed as Azriel nodded his approval.</p><p>Just as the shadowsinger turned his attention to me and took a step in my direction to congratulate me, Rhys was out of Cassian’s hold and in his path—blocking him from getting to me with a deadly snarl on his lips.</p><p>Cassian barked a laugh and slapped a hand on Rhys’s tense shoulder, “Is this a second version of that mating bond rearing its ugly head?” he taunted.</p><p>Before Rhys could turn that snarl towards Cassian, I touched his other shoulder gently in an attempt to calm his feral temper. Almost instantly, he relaxed as his gaze drifted to my stomach and shrugged Cassian’s hand away.</p><p>“Madja warned us that this might happen,” I said, “But I’d prefer you two not destroy this room.”</p><p>“We can always have it out in the training pit later, Rhysie.” Cassian goaded, cracking his knuckles with a wicked grin.</p><p>Rhys squared his shoulders as his hand came to rest on the small of my back, “I’m fine here.”</p><p>“A typical male guarding his offspring,” Amren said coolly, and I was grateful for the attempt to lighten the animosity that briefly began to brew. “Congratulations girl. It’s about time our group is graced by a youngling’s presence, it’ll be a welcome change around here.”</p><p>“How far along are you?” Nesta asked, and I was surprised to see her standing beside Cassian, not realizing she had made her way over during the hostile interaction with Rhys, instead of attempting to shield Elain.</p><p>“Almost three months now,” I answered, my hand coming to rest on my flat stomach. “I found out the day before Starfall.”</p><p>“Aha! I told you!” Mor cheered as she turned to Cassian and Azriel.</p><p>Cassian swore under his breath and Az dipped his head in acknowledgement, and I balked. “What’re you talking about?”</p><p>“We all made a bet on how long it would take for you guys to announce it. I gave it a week, Cass bet two, and Az bet you would be half-way along before you told us. Which means I won!” Mor sang excitedly.</p><p>“I lost the minute his darkness over here didn’t shout it from the rooftop after you told him,” Amren revealed nonchalantly, motioning to Rhys.</p><p>“Wait, you all knew?” I asked, bewildered.</p><p>“Are you kidding? I smelled it on you the minute we came back from the mountains,” Cassian admitted, “I’m surprised Rhys didn’t, with him being your mate and all.”</p><p>“To be fair, a part of me did know, but until Feyre was fully aware herself, I wasn’t going to raise any suspicion,” Rhys said nonchalantly, and I could feel his attempt to tame his preternatural instincts in order to avoid giving into Cassian’s baiting.</p><p>“So, this wasn’t really news then?” I asked, unable to hide my disappointment.</p><p>“It was for me,” Elain interjected, grabbing my hands gently with a smile, “I had no idea, and I’m so happy Feyre.”</p><p>“I didn’t know either,” Nesta added, and I was astonished to see a formal look of support on her lovely face.</p><p>Elain embraced me again as my eyes burned. They were all happy for us, and as Amren mentioned earlier, a baby would soon be welcomed by everyone here. I tried not to let the tears fall as I imagined my son being held in each of their arms. I sniffed as I stepped back from Elain’s arms and blinked in surprise when I saw Amren, Mor, Azriel and Cassian standing together before me and bowed with their hands over their hearts—just as they had done years ago after Rhys and I were newly mated.</p><p>“Our vow of service and protection is extended to the child you carry; our future High Lord of the Night Court.” Mor explained before I could question them.</p><p>“Or the future High Lady,” Cassian said with a wink.</p><p>I glanced at Rhys as he slid his hand back onto the small of my back, and without the need to communicate through the bond we knew we would keep <em>that</em> revelation a secret.</p><p>“This is normally a tradition sworn to the High Lord, but seeing as you are our High Lady, and the one who is actually doing all the work, we pledge our vow to you and your child.” Amren continued.</p><p>My heart tightened and my face flushed as they all stood as one, their hands still on their hearts. I captured the image in my mind, imagining what colors of paint I would need later and the exact canvas I would use to commemorate this moment forever. <em>Sworn protectors of the Night. </em></p><p>“Thank you,” I said, my voice still thick with the unshed tears.</p><p>Mor grinned and came up to envelop me in another hug, “Your emotions are going to be all over the place now! You don’t have to worry about holding back, we all understand,” she crooned and I laughed with a sob.</p><p>“I’ll admit, I’ve never really been around pregnant females outside of the ones in the Illyrian camps, but I’m willing to learn,” Cassian reassured.</p><p>“We all are,” Azriel added.</p><p>I sniffed and wiped at the few tears that escaped, “I guess we’re all experiencing this for the first time,” I said.</p><p>“I’ve at least<em> held</em> a baby before,” Mor said proudly.</p><p>“Before it burst into tears and reached back for its mother,” Rhys remarked with a smirk, earning a glare from the golden-haired beauty.</p><p>“Hey, I’ve held a baby before,” Cassian defended. “You forget, I’ve taught younglings how to fly. Sometimes that required holding them when they cried.”</p><p>“Your idea of holding a youngling included patting them on the back until they calmed and tossing them, sometimes in mid-air,” Azriel smoothly cut in.</p><p>“That happened <em>once</em>, and it was an accident!” Cassian barked.</p><p>“So, you dropped a baby in mid-air?” Mor asked.</p><p>Elain gasped in horror at the thought, causing Amren to burst out laughing and Nesta rolled her eyes as Cassian fumbled over his words to try and defend his actions. I squeezed Rhys’s hand as my heart swelled and his eyes met mine with an easy grin, his free hand coming to rest on my stomach—happy to finally be able to do so in front of everyone. I returned his grin when that familiar glimmer fluttered excitedly beneath his touch, our son happy and no doubt feeling right at home with his family.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
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    <p>Two things were becoming increasingly apparent: the first being that Rhys wouldn’t be the only one to coddle me for the duration of my pregnancy, and the second being that my adverse symptoms wouldn’t be alleviating any time soon.</p><p>I had a full week of reprieve where I was beginning to gain back some of my energy, and I was able to fall into a new work routine with Rhys; one where he insisted we work together in my office so he wouldn’t have to leave my side, before the waves of nausea and extreme fatigue returned. My vivid and violent nightmares also reappeared with a vengeance, and there was a night I awoke with quite possibly the <em>worst</em> I have ever had and spent the rest of the night in the bathing room. The next day I couldn’t leave the bed or lift my head without being overcome with a terrible dizzying spell, and barely managed to hold down the broth Rhys tried feeding me.</p><p>It took hours of negotiation to convince him not to summon Madja after I insisted that this was all, unfortunately, part of early pregnancy I would have to endure for the time being. Seeing me in such a state left him feeling anxious for my health, and I knew the same was true for the rest of our family as well. When I had confined myself to our suite after my symptoms flared up, the Illyrian males would take turns poking their heads in the door to check on me before Rhys eventually shooed them away—trying his hardest not to snap at them. At one point, when Rhys had a meeting with a palace lord that he couldn’t reschedule and begrudgingly attended, Cassian was the one to hold my hair back and comfort me during a particularly brutal wave of nausea.</p><p>Even Mor and Amren wanted to ease my burdens; both going so far as to take over my paperwork duties. Their reasoning being that as my second and third in command, they could sort through “frivolous” desk work. Elain, aside from Rhys, fussed over me the most. She was up earlier than normal in the mornings, brewing plain broths and my prenatal herbal teas that Nuala and Cerridwen taught her to make in the kitchen. Throughout the day she delivered my meals to either my bedroom, which I couldn’t leave until the day before last, or my office—where I now worked exclusively from my loveseat. Once I had the energy to resume my work, Rhys rejoined me in my office; picking up on his own work he had abandoned in order to tend to me. There were times when even Nesta would join Elain on her frequent visits, sometimes just surveying me from the doorway. I didn’t mind her distance, however, and gratefully drank the anti-nausea teas she acquired for me from Madja’s clinic.</p><p>I sipped on it now as I lounged in my office with Rhys, both of us going over our annual reports as he ran a finger along my calves that I draped over his lap. Every few seconds I felt his glances over in my direction, checking my overall well-being and ready to nurse away any sudden ailment. After what seemed to be his hundredth glance, I finally set my stack of papers down.</p><p>“Rhys,” I warned.</p><p>“Yes, darling?” he asked innocently.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, “Will you stop? I’m fine. I actually feel a little better today,” I promised.</p><p>“That’s your second mug of that anti-nausea brew today, you’re <em>not</em> fine,” he said simply.</p><p>I sighed, settling back into the lounge pillows as I took another sip. “Just because I’m a little nauseous doesn’t mean I’m not alright,” I reasoned. “You don’t need to sit in here and babysit me.”</p><p>“I’m not babysitting you, I’m babysitting my son.” He said nonchalantly, a hand coming to sneak under my lightweight sweater in order to rest on my bare stomach.</p><p>“You can’t babysit a baby that hasn’t been born yet.” I deadpanned, only mildly annoyed.</p><p>“Are you trying to kick me out of your office, Feyre darling?” He teased.</p><p>“Maybe. This is <em>my</em> personal space, after all.”</p><p>“Ah, but you know what a fan I am of your <em>personal space</em>.”</p><p>I tried not to smile at his remark and set my mug and paperwork aside, relaxing again and inviting him to lay beside me—which he happily obliged to as he settled in beside me, placing his own work aside as his mighty wings curled over us easily. His hand resumed its position on my stomach, pushing my sweater up in order to admire the ghost of an outward curve that resembled more of a full belly than an actual baby bump.</p><p>I placed a hand on his cheek, but before I could say anything, he stiffened and growled darkly with his wings flared as we both heard a set of voices on the other side of my office door. Cassian had been about to knock on it when Nesta stopped him with a sharp slap on his hand.</p><p>“Don’t bother. She and that High Lord of yours have been in there since breakfast, she’s fine,” Nesta scolded.</p><p>“Ow! I just wanted to say hi,” Cassian complained.</p><p>“There’s no need. One insufferable Illyrian is enough for a pregnant female,” she retorted.</p><p>“You’re one to complain about insufferable Illyrians,” he taunted, and I could practically see the pompous grin on his face as Nesta shushed him fiercely.</p><p>I couldn’t hear her comeback as she presumably pushed him down the hall and away from my door. I returned my gaze back up to Rhys, who instantly started to relax as their voices drifted away.</p><p>“Mating bond chafing a bit, Rhys?” I teased, repeating the same words Cassian had taunted him with after we first mated.</p><p>He barked a laugh, despite being feral just seconds before. “I can’t help it, Feyre darling,” he admitted. “Just the thought of another male coming near you sets me off.”</p><p>I stroked the hard plane of his cheekbone with my thumb, “I know, but it wouldn’t hurt to release some of that aggression, like you’ve done before,” I suggested.</p><p>He shook his head, “I don’t want to be that kind of male; one who can’t control himself or his temper.”</p><p>I frowned, knowing who he was referring to and cupped both sides of his face, “You aren’t that kind of male Rhys. You never have been, and never will be. Working off some steam doesn’t mean you can’t control yourself,” I promised.</p><p>He further relaxed into my touch, his brow coming to rest against mine as he breathed in my new scent—the baby added the smell of jasmine to my normal lilac and pear that he previously described to me.</p><p>“I can’t bring myself to leave your side,” he said quietly. “Every second I’m away is agonizing. Not just in an intimate sense like before, but…I feel a sense of danger that grows stronger the longer I’m away.”</p><p>I kissed the tip of his nose, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely—silently reassuring him of my understanding. The mating bond was stretched tight for the both of us. Just as harrowing as it was for him every second we were apart, my own instincts left me completely and irrationally distraught. I made a mental note to mention it to Madja at our next appointment in a couple of days, but I chalked it up to our bond being hypersensitive thanks to the new life I was growing. That new life that also had every one of our friends and family doing their best to cater to my needs.</p><p>It was odd, but strangely comforting seeing their concern and their willingness to help. Apart from my sisters, I still worried that they only offered said help due to their sworn oaths to me as their High Lady and the child I was carrying.</p><p>“They’re not,” Rhys quietly interjected. I sighed, knowing my mental shields were left wide open again since I didn’t have the energy to build them back up. “They help and check on you because they genuinely care and worry about you, and the baby.”</p><p>I nodded, “You’re right. I guess I just know that even if they absolutely hated me, they still would.”</p><p>Rhys snorted, running a hand along my spine lightly as he contemplated. “I’m starting to worry, Feyre. I know Madja said to expect some nausea and fatigue, but your symptoms are well beyond that. I don’t know how much longer I can watch you suffer before I override your decision to call her,” he explained.</p><p>“I told you before, this is all a part of the process. If it makes you feel any better, we’ll bring it up to her at the <em>next</em> visit,” I reasoned.</p><p>He sighed deeply but reluctantly agreed, “We’ll wait until then, but if you try to underestimate any of your symptoms, I’ll be sure to set her straight. There must be something she can do.”</p><p>I giggled and nuzzled into him further, breathing in his salt-and-citrus scent as I closed my eyes, “Someone’s still being bossy,” I teased.</p><p>“Forgive me for not loving the sight of my pregnant mate hurling her guts up and having to take seven naps a day,” he retorted softly, still rubbing my back.</p><p>“But you said I’m cute when I’m sleeping,” I complained quietly, on the edge of unconsciousness.</p><p>“You’re even cuter when I’m assured that you and our son are healthy,” he said.</p><p>“You’re cute when you’re quiet and let me sleep,” I yawned.</p><p>A soft chuckle was his only response as he buried his nose in my hair, taking this opportunity to join me in a nap he rarely took. After a week of nightmares that left me restless at night, I knew he wasn’t getting any more sleep than I was. Any nap he took was just as well deserved as mine, and I relished in falling asleep to the sound of his even breaths.</p><hr/><p>“Your lingering fatigue and nausea are a bit concerning,” Madja began after her routine examination. I made good on my word and informed her of the extent of the symptoms I was experiencing. Despite feeling a little silly and worried that I would end up sounding like I was whining about the things she already warned me to expect, Rhys insisted we emphasize just how severely I was being impacted by them.</p><p>“In another two weeks, you’ll officially be in the second stage of your pregnancy—which is presumably when your early symptoms should be mitigating,” she continued. “That’s not to say they won’t, a lot can change in a couple of weeks, but most females tend to experience these symptoms until giving birth.”</p><p>I squeezed Rhys’s hand reassuringly, “See? I told you this is normal,” I said as I glanced up at him from my spot on our bed, and he helped me sit upright—noting my strain.</p><p>“Even the nightmares?” He asked with a frown.</p><p>The healer nodded, “Even the nightmares. I’m afraid pregnant females frequently experience more lively dreams—horrible as they may be.”</p><p>“I’m concerned with her stamina as well,” Rhys added. “She’s been practically bedridden this week.”</p><p>I sighed and reluctantly admitted, “I do get dizzy from regular activities now, like walking from one end of the estate to the other.”</p><p>Madja acquiesced, “That is common as well, and I assure you both that these are not signs of an unhealthy pregnancy, but rather a taxing one. You are both substantial high fae,” she said and motioned to Rhys and then to me respectfully, “As you are the most powerful High Lord in Prythian, and as you were resurrected with the combined abilities of all seven High Lords, your child <em>will</em> be a powerful high fae—perhaps more so than you both. It is likely that your developing youngling is draining your energy as your body attempts to keep up.”</p><p>“Is that dangerous?” I asked before Rhys had the chance to.</p><p>The healer shook her head, “No. In fact, this is a good sign. It means you are able to maintain a pregnancy this extraordinary. Odds are, as the youngling progresses into further stages of development, your body will continue to accommodate and you’ll begin to gain back some of your energy.”</p><p>I gulped, not exactly relieved. Rhys cleared his throat as he spoke up, his hand coming to rest on my back, “We don’t have anything to worry about then?”</p><p>“Not at all,” Madja reassured, touching my knee gently. “It will be a long journey, but you will carry to term and deliver a healthy baby. So long as you keep resting, eating well, and limit any stress on your physical and mental health I see no cause for concern. I will change some of the dosages in your prenatal and anti-nausea brews, so that you are able to stave off the queasiness better and hold down your meals. Hopefully, in the coming weeks, your desire to eat will increase.”</p><p>“Are there any other alarming symptoms we should be aware of? Any warning signs we need to look for?” Rhys asked.</p><p>“Of course, and I have created a list of normal and abnormal symptoms, some I’ve mentioned before and some yet to come as things progress,” the older female replied, handing my mate said list. “As of right now, I’m confident you and your youngling are both in top condition.”</p><p>I nodded, still a bit tense as I asked, “Should we be worried about our mating bond? Both of our instincts have been a little…intense.”</p><p>Madja chuckled, the skin at the corner of her eyes crinkling in amusement, “I did warn you the mating bond would heighten your instincts now with a little one to consider,” she said.</p><p>“It’s normal then, to feel a sense of…panic, when we’re apart?” Rhys asked.</p><p>“And to feel overprotective, and desperate,” the healer said, as if she were reading my mates mind. “You two are soon going to be parents to a beautiful, strong, and healthy baby. Given this is your first child, and considering your positions of power, you are going to be anxious—rightfully so. I want you both to realize your anxieties are normal, so long as you don’t allow them to cause you to live in fear,” she explained, taking our hands and squeezing them warmly with her own small wrinkled ones.</p><p>Her short speech caused my eyes to burn and without warning I burst into tears, a sob tearing through my throat as Rhys instantly wrapped me in his arms to console me. “I’m guessing this reaction is normal as well?” He asked, albeit sympathetically as he rubbed my back soothingly.</p><p>A warm smile graced the healer’s wrinkled lips as she nodded, “Yes. Expect more changes in mood from your pregnant mate, my lord. If she wasn’t prone to tears before, happy or sad, she will be now.”</p><p>I sniffed as I composed myself, willing the tears to stop, “I’m just…grateful. You’ve assured us on every front, and eased our concerns, and I’m so grateful to you.” I said, sniffling a bit pathetically.</p><p>“That is what I’m here for, my lady. And for you as well, my lord.” She said to both of us.</p><p>Rhys nodded appreciatively, “Thank you.”</p><p>She bowed her head and began gathering her things as Rhys turned back to me, taking a step back to kneel in front of my spot on the bed. “You were right. This is all normal,” he said as his hands came to rest on either side of my thighs. </p><p>I nodded, wiping at my tears, “Just exhausting.”</p><p>We both nodded in earnest at Madja as she excused herself from the room; Rhys coming to sit beside me on the bed.</p><p>“Maybe it’s time we hire an assistant, just to lighten your workload a little,” he suggested.</p><p>“I suggested an assistant for <em>both</em> of us, not just me.” I reminded him.</p><p>His returning grin was wicked as he shrugged casually, “I wouldn’t mind having an assistant.”</p><p>I sighed tiredly and moved my head to perch on his shoulder, a hand resting on the small curve of my stomach. It was barely noticeable through my wool sweater, further hidden by the leggings I wore around the estate, but since noticing the small swell in my abdomen, we both couldn’t resist caressing it.</p><p>“Having an assistant would give us more time together, especially when the baby comes,” I said.</p><p>Rhys’s hand came to cover mine, squeezing gently, but when I turned to smile at him, I was met with a furrowed brow as he stared at my stomach. “What’s wrong?” I asked hesitantly.</p><p>“So small and already giving his mother a hard time,” he said softly, and I could hear the concern laced behind his words.</p><p>“Well he<em> is</em> his father’s son,” I tried to joke in an attempt to ease back into our relief after Madja’s exam, but his frown remained.</p><p>“His power is going to surpass both of ours,” he said, a sense of alarm gathering behind those violet star-flecked eyes—the same I had experienced after the healer first confirmed my pregnancy.</p><p>“I once warned you what it meant to marry me, to carry my offspring. A life with a target on your back. I wasn’t worried so much about you because I knew how strong you were, especially once you came into your powers, but now—with our child…” his voice trailed off as I moved to straddle his hips, wrapping both my arms around him as my hands tangled in his hair. I brought his head to rest against my chest in an effort to calm him.</p><p>He sighed deeply, closing his eyes as he breathed in my scent, his own arms encircling my waist and relaxed as he kept his brow pressed between my breasts. “He’s going to be okay,” I whispered after a couple of minutes. “We have alliances with all but two courts now. Our world isn’t what it was before the war. Things have changed, even with the Mortal Lands,” I explained quietly as I stroked through his hair lightly.</p><p>I was glad that much was true. In the decade since the end of the war with Hybern, our alliances with the Summer, Winter, Day and Dawn Courts had solidified. As the years went by, we had been able to strengthen our relationships with Tarquin, Thesan and Kallias—more so with the latter since Viviane and I had developed a closer friendship. She was now the first High Lady of the Winter Court, just as much Kallias’s equal as I was Rhys’s, and we both held our heads high among the males surrounding us.</p><p>Once a year, we made a tradition of gathering all the High Lords—and Ladies, of Prythian as we had before the war began and met at the Dawn Court Palace. Lucien, Jurian and Vassa also attended those meetings; Vassa and Jurian representing and speaking on behalf of the Mortal Lands, with Vassa having taken over as the sole ruling Queen thanks to Jurian’s help at overthrowing the other traitorous queens. Collectively, we thought it best to let the human forces work together during that conflict—offering assistance if the humans needed it, but allowing them a chance at rallying their territory before we officially created a new alliance without the need for a wall.</p><p>At our new meetings, high fae and human finally together as one, we made it a point to keep each other in check—although no one had the urge to try and overthrow the other or expand their lands, but in recent years our main concerns were with the Autumn and Spring Court.</p><p>After his losses in the war, our alliance with Beron remained tentative, and it was Eris who appeared at our yearly meeting on behalf of the Autumn Court. Since he wasn’t a High Lord, however, and continued to have little sway on his father, the eldest son of the Autumn Court only attended to inform and assure us that Beron wasn’t making any advances on expanding into the Mortal Lands or staging any kind of uprising against the other courts. Still, with his cruel facade ever-present and his occasional visits to Keir in the Court of Nightmares, it was hard for the rest of us to completely trust him. Rhys, Mor and I made it a habit to pop into the Hewn City unannounced whenever Eris was there; making sure to send a clear message that we wouldn’t allow any secret negotiations to take place between the heir to the Autumn Court and the steward of our throne.</p><p>Tamlin was a separate issue. After reluctantly agreeing to allow Tarquin’s forces into his territory and reinforcing his borders, he was slowly able to rebuild his own army—some of his old sentries returning to serve him, appreciative of his assistance during the war and the attempts to bolster the Spring Court lands. The rest I wasn’t sure of, and the little I did know of had been gathered from what Lucien told us. It was no secret things were still, and would probably always be, strained with Tamlin and his court, and neither he nor any representative to speak on his behalf attended our meetings. At first, Rhys would occasionally visit on Tarquin’s behalf, checking on the warriors he supplied, but as the years went by and things seemingly improved, he stopped when Tamlin hadn’t bothered to greet him anymore.</p><p>However provisional things seemed to be with the Sprint and Autumn Courts, I knew our friends in the others would be happy to hear that we were expecting—especially Viviane and Kallias, who were also due to expect their first child in a couple of months. I made a mental note to contact Viviane and ask for advice on how she was coping with her pregnancy.</p><p>“Something isn’t sitting right with me,” Rhys finally admitted after a couple of minutes of silence passed between us.</p><p>I pulled back to meet his eyes, my hands coming to rest on his shoulders, “Tell me what’s on your mind.”</p><p>Just as he was about to speak, his shoulders tensed and his wings flared as a hard knock was heard on our door. It was Azriel’s voice that came from the other side as he said, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have news from the Illryian war camps.”</p><p>I climbed off of Rhys as we both moved to stand, Rhys answering the door before I could reach it. “Kallon?” He asked Azriel, who nodded grimly in return.</p><p>Rhys swore under his breath, “Get Cassian. We’ll meet in my office in two minutes,” he ordered the shadowsinger. Azriel nodded and left to do as he was instructed.</p><p>I frowned, “This is more than just Kallon spreading dissent, isn’t it? What if he’s planning something, an uprising of some sort?” I asked.</p><p>It was a possibility we hadn’t wanted to face, but after Azriel began to gather more and more intel on the camp lord’s resistance since their presence at the Blood Rite, it was now something we couldn’t ignore.</p><p>“It’s likely. The bastard has always hated us, and this is something he would try to pull after years of silence,” Rhys growled as he went to the desk we held in the corner of our room, searching for Az’s previous reports.</p><p>“He wanted us to think he wasn’t a problem,” I said as I went to help him look.</p><p>He grabbed my hand gently, “Let me handle this, please. Madja said you shouldn’t be under any stress,” he pleaded.</p><p>I stared back at him, my eyes hard, “I am High Lady of the Night Court, that includes the Illyrians as well. We handle this together.”</p><p>He chuckled humorlessly and only nodded in return without a second thought. He found the reports and we left together to meet Cassian and Azriel in his office. The two Illyrian warriors were in a fierce conversation as we walked in and Cassian immediately turned to face us as he growled,</p><p>“The bastard is planning a coup.”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“From what my spies have gathered, he’s been holding secret meetings with the other camp-lords and generals for years; persuading them to rally against your rule and Cassian’s command. Kallon has been using the number of losses, and other injuries their warriors obtained from the war along with the grief from the widows, as evidence that we are seeking vengeance for how we were treated as children, that we pose a threat and will only continue to destroy their race and culture. What’s worse is he’s gathered together those who resent us and see us as no more than bastards, further helping his cause,” Azriel explained to Rhys and I as we joined his and Cassian’s side at the desk, pouring over the reports the shadowsinger gathered from his network of spies. “He’s managed to convince them that as a high-born lord from a strong lineage of Illyrian warriors who have commanded the Ironcrest camp for centuries, he has the better claim to command their armies.”</p><p>Cassian scoffed as he scanned a report, “The prick has only been camp-lord of Ironcrest for a few years and has the balls to think he knows how to command the entire Illyrian army.” </p><p>“He’s as much a brute as his father was,” Azriel muttered with disdain.</p><p>“And just as stupid,” Rhys retorted, glaring at another document as he read through it. </p><p>I frowned and set down the report I was reading, crossing my arms. “How many?” I asked quietly, turning my attention to Azriel. </p><p>He knew what I was asking, and the shadowsinger didn’t break my gaze as he answered, “He’s allied himself with half of the lords and their war-camps.” </p><p>We all stared at him; dumbfounded, confused, <em>enraged</em>. </p><p>“Half of the Illyrians are backing the rebellion Kallon has started?” I asked before the others had a chance to. </p><p>Azriel nodded grimly and Cassian swore, his siphons flickering as he tried to contain his rage and ran his hands through his silk-black hair. Dark shadows swam at Rhysand’s back, wings flaring as he strode over to the wall containing the map of the Illyrian territory. He studied it closely as Azriel continued, “He means to incite a civil war with those who remain opposed, if they don’t side with him sooner rather than later, he will gather what forces he has to overrun their camps.” </p><p>“Then the stupid bastard will try to turn those forces on us,” Cassian began.</p><p>“And once we’re overthrown, he will try to separate from the Night Court altogether,” Rhys growled, fists clenching as he continued to study the map before him.</p><p>“How do you know that?” I asked with a dull shock.</p><p>“There’s only one reason why a male like that would want to take control of the entire Illyrian force. He wants the territory for himself,” Rhys explained, voice dripping with disdain. </p><p>My heart tightened for my mate as darkness continued to swirl around him, the shadows darkening the room—wings now tucked in tight at his sides. I realized those shadows were mournful, rather than from cold fury. These were his mother’s people; he grew up in their camps, trained and fought alongside them, bled with them and for them from the time he was a child. Despite their resentment of his high fae blood, their dense views and resistance to change, he respected them—the culture, because they were his people too. I glanced over at Cassian, his face unreadable as he let the weight of Rhys’s words settle in him. Azriel was the only one who remained, unsurprisingly, unfazed. I supposed with his own animosity towards his people, he saw something like this coming long ago—though I could tell deep down he secretly hoped it wouldn’t. </p><p>I walked slowly towards Rhys and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, stepping into his line of view to force our eyes to meet. “That won’t happen,” I said decisively. “We won’t allow it, and we won’t stand for it.”</p><p>Cassian finally broke his silence, “How did the whelp manage to keep this a secret for ten years? We’ve barely let him out of our sight, and we’ve more than covered our bases during our monthly visits at Ironcrest.” </p><p>“He’s had help,” Azriel replied.</p><p>“But how?” Cassian insisted, “I haven’t kept my eyes off the bastard since he made it through the Blood Rite, and neither have you and your spies. How did this escape our attention?” </p><p>Rhys squeezed the hand on his shoulder, turning back to his brothers. “Winter Solstice,” he started, “It’s the one time of year all the camps gather, and while we’re here celebrating, our spies are reduced because of the holiday. Giving them the perfect opportunity to meet without the added worry of our eyes on them.”</p><p>“So they gather and plot on Solstice,” Cassian growled, “And probably during the period of the Blood Rite when we aren’t normally around, and neither are Az’s spies. Until this year.” </p><p>I frowned. This year, after Azriel’s intel picked up on Kallon’s suspicious activities resurfacing, they stayed the entire week for the duration of the Blood Rites ceremonies and traditions; with the intention of gathering more information. They turned up empty at the time—save for the little details they already knew of. </p><p>“They’ve let information slip since then,” Rhys said, and it was true.</p><p>“They’ve gotten cocky,” Cassian scoffed. “They’ve plotted and gathered their forces for ten years; somehow now they’ve gotten arrogant enough to speak more freely of their plans in the camps.”</p><p>“That’s not all,” Azriel added, “based on the reports, some of the talk also revolves around an outside ally working with Kallon.”</p><p>“Who the fuck would help that bastard?!” Cassian barked, wings broadening slightly. </p><p>Rhys’s own wings widened a bit in an effort to shield me, but he cleared his throat and tucked them back in, giving Cass a hard look instead. The commander looked at me in apology, but I shook my head in dismissal. He was angry, all of us were. I slowly made my way over to the trio of ceiling high windows in Rhys’s study as I contemplated how Kallon had help keeping their meetings a secret during Solstice. What outside force would aid and abet him to the point where he believed they could successfully carry out a revolution? The Illyrian brothers began debating the same possibility as I stared out at the gardens the windows faced, seeing Elain and Mor sitting together by the fountain and chattering happily—the soft-spoken seer and the dreamer born into a court of nightmares. </p><p>Suddenly, realization struck and I gasped, turning to face them. Rhys instantly returned to my side; Cassian and Azriel stepped closer to me, equally alarmed, but before any of them could speak I blurted, “It’s Keir.”</p><p>I continued quickly, “Who else would benefit from us being removed from power? Who else would want nothing more than to take over as ruler of the Hewn City, and install himself as High Lord should we be deposed?” Rhys’s eyes widened, cold rage filling the room as Cassian and Azriel realized the truth in my words. </p><p>“He’s probably promised Kallon his army of Darkbringers, who also suffered a great loss after the war, who have the same motives and could sympathize with the Illyrians to a point. Keir’s most likely convinced Kallon that once they’ve overthrown us, he’ll allow the Illyrians to separate and form their own nation. Meanwhile he’ll take over Hewn City, and take over the rest of the Night Court, including,” I gulped, “Velaris.”</p><p>Cassian and Azriel both swore as Rhys growled, “With Keir’s backing, Kallon has the incentive to move forward with his plans for a civil war. Once the opposing Illyrians are taken care of, his and Keir’s forces combined can turn against us.”</p><p>Nausea roiled in my gut as the full burden of this understanding washed over us, of what this meant. Rhys slipped a protective arm around my waist, no doubt feeling my distress through the bond, “We have to move before they do. Azriel, you’ll go ahead of us to Hewn City. Question whoever you have to and get information without raising Keir’s suspicion. I want to know Keir’s exact role in this and every single step in their plans,” he commanded his shadowsinger.</p><p>Azriel nodded and in a split second he disappeared into the shadows, Truth-Teller gleaming in his hands before he was gone. Rhys turned to Cassian next, “You’ll come with Mor and I to the Court of Nightmares after Az’s gathered the information we need. I want our presence to send a message to the bastard.”</p><p>I blinked in surprise, and turned to face him, “You mean ‘<em>Feyre</em>, Mor, and I,’ right?” I asked.</p><p>His expression was hard as our eyes met, and I stared at him incredulously—daring him to keep me excluded. “Feyre, this is dangerous. If Keir finds out you’re pregnant he’ll-” he began, but I cut him off with a huff of disbelief.</p><p>“You mean <em>when</em> Keir finds out I’m pregnant,” I challenged. Cassian took a careful step back, allowing us to have this conversation without leaving the room. Keeping a watchful eye on us, Rhys especially. </p><p>“I cannot put you and our child at risk, Feyre. If he’s really working with Kallon, it’s not just us in danger, it’s our unborn child too,” He continued calmly, but I could see he was struggling with his overprotective intuition.</p><p>I wasn’t going to have any of it, “You don’t think I know that? Our whole <em>family</em> is at risk, and I’m not going to sit idly by like some poor damsel in distress!” </p><p>“I’m not asking you to do that. I’m asking you to stay here, where it’s safe, where I’ll know you and our child are safe!” Rhys tried to reason, holding my arms carefully in his hands—the unadulterated panic gathering in those violet eyes once again.. </p><p>I frowned at him, an old and familiar sense of panic beginning to bubble in my chest, but I fought it down. “Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m an invalid. We go to the Court of Nightmares together, and we use the news of my pregnancy to reinforce our rule. <em>That</em> will send him a message,” I explained. </p><p>Rhys shook his head, gripping my arms lightly, desperate. “The minute he finds out you’re pregnant is the minute he and Kallon decide to move up their plans, giving them an advantage. We need to gather our own reinforcements before they have that chance.” </p><p>“You’re a mated male Rhys, Keir will know Feyre’s pregnant regardless. He’ll smell it on you,” Cassian interjected on my behalf. </p><p>I turned to look at him and Rhys let out a feral snarl, violet eyes darkening as he turned on his brother. “Stay out of this, Cassian,” Rhys warned, his entire demeanor shifting as his preternatural instincts ordered him to protect his pregnant mate. </p><p>“Not a chance Rhysie. It’s about time you ease up on that mating bond, and if I have to be the one to do it <em>again</em> then I will,” Cassian replied coolly as he ran his hands through his hair, tying it back with a worn leather strap.</p><p>I realized what Cassian was doing. Our mating bond was sensitive now that I was pregnant, Rhys’s primal urges compelling him to protect his mate while in such a delicate condition. This new threat was igniting those vigilant impulses, and while he previously did his best to reign in some of that hostility, it would ease up considerably if he released some of that aggression on Cassian—just as he had all those years ago. Now, thanks to the prospect of a war breaking out in our own court, Rhys was consumed to the point of trying to shield me away completely. Cassian wouldn’t let that happen, he wouldn’t stand aside and watch me be sidelined; so he would take some of that edge off, but I couldn’t let that happen, not like this.</p><p>“Cassian, it’s alright-” I began but he quickly interjected.</p><p>“It’s not alright. You are <em>my</em> High Lady too, and you have every right to attend that meeting at the Hewn City, pregnant or not.” He insisted, turning to look at Rhys as he said it. </p><p>Darkness continued to swirl around Rhys’s shoulders, “Of course she has a right to attend the meeting,” he snapped.</p><p>“Then let her come with us, you bastard.” </p><p>“It’s not safe.” Rhys snarled, baring his teeth.</p><p>“You sure about that? She’d have me, and Azriel, protecting her. Two more males than just you-” Cassian baited, taking a step closer in my direction but Rhys immediately stepped in front of me and landed a blow to his face, sending Cassian stumbling back.</p><p>Cassian wiped the blood from the side of his mouth with a wicked grin. “That’s right, you bastard, take it out on me—not her,” he said as he straightened.</p><p>Just as Rhys was about to advance on him again, I grabbed his shoulder and cried out, “No! Not here,” I glared at Cassian, “Not now. I can handle this Cassian, just go.”</p><p>“Feyre, let me-” he started but I hardened my stare. I didn’t like to pull rank, but I needed to work this out with Rhys myself.</p><p>Cassian glanced at Rhys again, who calmed considerably the minute I touched him and was staring at my stomach with a pained expression, and reluctantly left the room. The second he was gone, I turned to face Rhys with a frown. His eyes met mine, those violet star-flecked eyes now pleading as he stepped closer to me and placed a hand on my stomach. </p><p>“I can’t lose you, Feyre,” he began softly, “It would be better if you stayed behind this time with your sisters and Amren. If Keir sees how vulnerable your condition is-”</p><p>“I am not vulnerable!” I snapped, taking a step back from him, that panic beginning to rise once again—this time mounting before I could get a hold on it. </p><p>“You are susceptible to more danger,” he amended. “He’ll see it as a weakness, <em>our </em>weakness, and he’ll use that to push whatever plans he and Kallon have.”</p><p>My chest tightened and my eyes burned, waiting for the inevitable order he would give to force me to stay behind—to lock me up. He promised to never do it, swore he wouldn’t command such a thing. He wasn’t that kind of male I reminded myself. He wasn’t Tamlin. </p><p>He wasn’t. He wasn’t. He wasn’t.</p><p>
  <em>Please don’t lock me up. </em>
</p><p>Rhys’s eyes widened, “W-What..?” </p><p>I realized I sent that plea down the bond as the tears in my eyes began to fall and I sobbed, “Please don’t lock me up,” I begged.</p><p>“Please Rhys, dont…” I sobbed again and Rhys gathered me in his arms instantly as my knees crumpled, my breaths coming in gasps as I cried. </p><p>“Feyre, no. Gods, I would never,” he swore as he lowered us to our knees, holding me against him, burying his face in my hair as he consoled me. “I would never do that to you.” </p><p>“You’re doing it now,” I whimpered as I looked at him. “You made a vow to me, making me your equal, and now…” I sniffed as I tried to control my tears, but the fear—the tightness in my chest was overwhelming. </p><p>Rhys’s eyes widened in horror as he realized his actions and he looked down in disgrace, squeezing his eyes shut for a minute before leaning in to press his brow against mine. His hands cupped my face gently as he smoothed the tears away and our eyes met, his lined with silver as he began taking deep cleansing breaths—encouraging me to breathe with him. I did, struggling at first to follow the pattern of his breaths until the tightness in my chest finally eased and breathing became effortless. I slipped my eyes shut as I finally calmed and relaxed against him, the tears stopping. </p><p>After a minute of holding me there, our brows touching and our breaths in sync, Rhys admitted quietly, “I wasn’t going to force you to stay behind.”</p><p>I opened my eyes and met with the gut-shattering guilt on his face, but before I could say anything he pressed a kiss to my temple. </p><p>“I was never going to lock you in our estate Feyre. I would never, <em>never</em>, put up wards around our walls and keep you inside. For a moment I made you feel that way and I’m,” his throat bobbed for a second. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>
  <em>The things I love have a tendency to be taken from me. </em>
</p><p>The raw confession he made to me during our time Under the Mountain echoed through my mind as the image of that dark, fallen prince now sat before me. His family had been in peril before, thanks to a friendship with another court. That friendship, that trust, cost him his parents and younger sister. His mother and sister were innocent, just as our child was now, and I couldn’t fathom the fear that rose in him now that we knew of the hazard in our own court—among our people. In my own alarm I compared his protective instincts, the ones created by our bond that enforced his desire to safeguard me and his child, to Tamlin’s actions. I compared him to the male that was responsible for the loss of his family. The loss he still blamed himself for. My gut wrenched with my own guilt, and I gently cupped his face in my hands; lifting the head he dropped in shame.</p><p>“Your need to protect me, to protect our son,<em> is</em> justified Rhys, but we can’t live in fear. I panicked,” I said softly. </p><p>“You had every right to panic, Feyre. I shouldn’t have tried to convince you to stay behind. For a moment I just-” he paused and I nodded my understanding. </p><p>“<em>You</em> panicked too,” I said softly. “Not just because of your male-bonded instincts.”</p><p>I took his hand and placed it on the tiny swell of my stomach and he caressed it gently, “You’ve lost so much, Rhys. I understand that, but I want you to understand that it won’t happen again. You won’t lose us.” I squeezed his hand encouragingly. </p><p>His eyes met mine, “You’re safe,” he said. “You both are.”</p><p>“We’ll face this threat together, just as we have before.” I said, wrapping my arms around his shoulders loosely. </p><p>He slipped one arm around my waist and the other under my legs as he stood, lifting me off the ground and carrying me over to the lounge by his desk. He sat me on it and knelt before me, holding my hands in his. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” he whispered. </p><p>“I forgive you,” I said, leaning forward to kiss him. “Promise me you’ll release some of that pent up aggression. It <em>will</em> help.”</p><p>His thumbs caressed the top of my hands, and he nodded in agreement. “Cassian will be more than happy to oblige,” he said with a wry smirk.</p><p>“Anything for his High Lord,” I mused. </p><p>“Anything for his High <em>Lady</em>,” he corrected.</p><p>He brought my hands up to his lips, turning my palms upward and kissed the twin mountains tattooed in each. When he lifted his gaze back to me, his thumbs caressed my palms lightly. </p><p>“Cauldron save you. Mother hold you. I, High Lord of the Night Court, will serve and protect you, Feyre Archeron.” Rhys began, reciting the same vows he made to me on our wedding night. </p><p>The night we married in secret before the confrontation at Hybern. My eyes burned as he squeezed my hands before he continued, “I hereby swear you as High Lady of the Night Court, not consort, and not just my wife,”</p><p>One of his hands reached up to wipe away a stray tear after he finished, and he kept his hand on my cheek. “You <em>are</em> my equal Feyre, and I say these vows again as a promise that this will never happen again. I will <em>never</em> make you feel cast aside again, or our son. You are my High Lady, the mother of my child, and the most resilient female I have ever met. We’ll go to the Court of Nightmares together, and remind them <em>all</em> of that.”</p><p>I smiled, placing a hand over his before I noticed the whorls of ink on his left forearm begin to shift. We both watched as the patterns swirled at the base of his wrist, forming a band with a crescent moon at its center. The blue-black ink matching perfectly with the rest of his tattoo—the mirror of mine, the one created out of our promise to move onto the next life together. </p><p>I ran my thumb across the new tattoo as my smile widened.  “Anything for his High Lady,” I said and Rhys returned my grin with his.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> A Court of Nightmares and Starlight</p><p>Chapter 9</p><hr/><p><strong><em>Author’s note:</em> </strong> <em> Thank you all for your patience and support while I recovered from COVID-19. It was a rough couple of weeks, and as I recovered, I also had to prepare for a new semester at university. Now that I am mostly recovered and on a regular schedule with classes, I will continue to update ACONAS as often as possible. New chapters might have a longer wait period than the ones prior, but I assure you all that I will be posting as regularly as I can until ACONAS is complete. My goal is to, hopefully, post every other week now. I hope you all will continue to enjoy this story, and once again thank you all for the love and support. Your kind words mean the world to me. Please stay safe out there!</em></p><hr/><p>A week was all Azriel needed to gather the information we hoped wasn’t true. However, after the first few days, the spymaster realized he would have to gather intel on those closest to Keir without arousing suspicion. When low-level sentries turned up without any knowledge, Azriel moved onto interrogating the stewards' personal army of Darkbringers. Together, he, Cassian and Rhys were able to interrogate the captain of Keir’s army—Rhys wiping his memory clean after every session. He hated to do it, but after gathering details of Keir’s plan and his alliance with Kallon, he knew it was necessary.</p><p>There was indeed a coup rising against the Court of Dreams.</p><p>We filled Mor and Amren in immediately after Azriel broke the news to us, but decided it was best to leave my sisters unaware—for now. Nesta was finally in a good, albeit still cold, place after the war that took place a decade ago and Elain was also finally returning to her normal self; who she used to be before being forcefully made. My sisters were healing, and the last thing I wanted was to reopen their old wounds by revealing that their lives were once again at risk. Nesta, as observant as ever, knew something was amiss but thankfully didn’t press for any information. For now, and until we had a set plan, we could leave them in the dark.</p><p>I did my best to hide my worries in front of them, instead allowing Elain to fuss over me and the baby while Rhys and his brothers gathered intel. With all the anxiety of the coup keeping me on edge, I hardly noticed that my previous symptoms weren’t affecting me as they had before. Granted, I was still so fatigued that I slept in until noon and my nausea still plagued me from time to time; at least I was finally starting to feel some relief, which reassured everyone—especially Elain. Now that I was feeling better, she began begging to help plan the nursery. Years ago, before the completion of the construction on the estate, she asked what we should do for the room attached to mine and Rhys’s suite. I originally wanted that room to be our nursery, but at the time I decided to make it into a sitting room. Knowing that an empty nursery sat just beyond the double-doors in my suite was too painful at the time. So, in the meantime, I wanted to make some kind of use for it; despite Rhys and I hardly ever even using it anyway.</p><p>After telling Elain where I wanted the nursery, she focused all of her energy into creating the perfect space for the baby. While the Illyrians focused on gathering the information from the Court of Nightmares, I did my best to shift my attention back onto my pregnancy. At first, I went with Rhys to Hewn City to be present for the interrogations with the captain of the Darkbringers, but we hadn’t taken into account the effect winnowing would have on me during my condition. With my powers being so drained, I couldn’t do it myself, so Rhys had winnowed us in. Upon arrival, I had nearly fainted in my mates’ arms. Alarmed, he winnowed us back to Velaris, causing me to <em>actually</em> faint. Once I regained consciousness, a guilt-ridden Madja was there and informed us of that unfortunate side-effect she forgot to mention at our previous appointments. In her defense, said side-effect didn’t usually develop until later in pregnancy, but thanks to my tendency towards extreme fatigue, it developed sooner. There was no explanation as to why winnowing was so taxing on a pregnant female, but Madja theorized that whatever magic it originated from was the culprit.</p><p>We decided then that he would go with Cassian to Azriel’s interrogations of the Captain, and once they had the information we needed, we would schedule our official visit to Hewn City. Fortunately, Madja explained that as long as I gave myself at least an hour rest between winnowing—including some recovery time after the initial trip, that it would be safe. A part of me was grateful that I didn’t have to be there for the interrogations, because after every session Rhys returned physically and mentally drained. Even as he recounted every detail to me, I couldn’t imagine the burden and the guilt weighing on his shoulders. The Night Court was his home for centuries; he made many painful sacrifices for the sake of his people. While he did his best to separate himself from the Hewn City, they were still his people; still his court and his ancestors' court. As High Lady for over a decade, it hurt deeply to imagine the threat of a civil war, especially for the innocents here in Velaris. As High Lord for as long as Rhysand was, I knew the pain was worse for him.</p><p>“You don’t have to do this every night you know,” Rhys drawled quietly from his place in the tub, summoning me back from my thoughts.</p><p>He was leaning on the edge with his chin resting over his crossed arms while I gently scrubbed at his delicately powerful wings. I smiled at his comment, continuing to clean the dirt and debris off his wings. After the first few days of seeing how drained my mate was, I took it upon myself to spoil him with a hot bath—together, to unwind while I cleaned him.</p><p>“You won’t let me do anything else since I got pregnant, the least I can do is take care of you,” I replied, dabbing at the other wing with a soft washcloth.</p><p>“That’s precisely why. You’re pregnant, and it should be <em>me</em> cleaning <em>you</em>,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at me.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, “I’m not the one doing all the heavy lifting.”</p><p>“I beg to differ,” he said as he glanced at my belly, still a small swollen mound.</p><p>I tried not to smile. “Your son isn’t that heavy, <em>yet</em>. I’m growing a baby, but you’re,” I paused, not wanting to bring up the ugly business of the day during the time I dedicated just for us. “Doing everything else…”</p><p>He was quiet until I finished cleaning his wing and turned to face me before cupping my face in his. “You’re working just as hard as I am Feyre, on top of being pregnant,” he said.</p><p>I gripped his wrist lightly, “I know that, but just like you’re taking care of me, <em>I</em> want to take care of you too. This time is for me just as much as it is for you.”</p><p>His smile was crooked as he responded, “Fair enough.”</p><p>I returned his smile and leaned in to give him a quick kiss. We stayed silent for the duration for our bath, not wanting to disturb our peace, but as soon as we were back in our bedroom, I couldn’t resist bringing up our upcoming plans for our visit to the Court of Nightmares.</p><p>“What time are we leaving tomorrow?” I asked as I pulled out a light nightgown from my dresser.</p><p>Rhys sighed, “After lunch. Cassian and Az want to go over the reports and statements from Keir’s general. We’re trying to piece together a timeline, and Azriel will go alone to finalize details with him while we’re at court.”</p><p>I nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed after slipping on my nightgown. Now that we had most of the information we needed, tomorrow we would travel to the Hewn City and announce my pregnancy. This would be our way of reminding Keir who he served and would continue to serve. We’d solidify our reign by furthering Rhys’s lineage.</p><p>I watched as he dried himself off and changed into his own night clothes, a simple pair of black shorts, and smiled as I imagined what our son might look like at his father’s age. Would the image the Bone Carver gave me continue to evolve to resemble Rhys? Would he have some semblance of me as well? Regardless, I dreamed of him growing to look and act like his father. But the thought of my son one day being High Lord, of having to put on the same cruel façade as the rest of us, made my heart clench and Rhys noticed it in my face. He perched on the space in front of me and gingerly placed both hands on my ever-swelling stomach.</p><p>“We’ll teach him well. After all, you had a pretty good teacher, if I do say so myself,” he said with a smug grin.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, “Maybe he’ll inherit my humility, because you’re hopeless.”</p><p>Rhys threw his head back with a bark of laughter before taking hold of my face to capture my lips in a deep kiss. He held me there for a few seconds, resting his forehead against mine.</p><p>“We won’t expose him to the Court of Nightmares until he’s ready and comfortable with it. I won’t put any pressure on him, I promise,” Rhys reassured.</p><p>“I know you won’t,” I sighed. “I just...can’t picture that yet. I think.”</p><p>“Well we haven’t officially met him,” Rhys said with a smirk. “We’ll take it one day at a time.”</p><p>I nodded and looked down at my stomach. “For now, I guess you have no choice but to be part of the act, but daddy will make it up to you,” I said with a smile and looked back up at Rhys, who had visibly stiffened at the new word I referred to him as.</p><p>He mouthed the word silently as I grinned and brought his hands back to my stomach, “That’s what he’s going to call you, you know.”</p><p>He nodded, matching my grin with a wicked one and wiggled his eyebrow, “I wouldn’t be opposed to you calling me that once in a while either.”</p><p>I laughed as I shoved him away, his laughter matching my own as he tackled me onto the bed.</p><hr/><p>Rhys and I stood alone at the gates outside the throne room in the Hewn City; Mor, Cassian, and Azriel already inside waiting for us at the base of the dais. They had gathered all the citizens of the city inside, on the order that their Lord and Lady were making a notable appearance today. I stared at the dark, cruel, scaled beasts carved on either pillar and ran my hands over the gentle swell of my belly. While getting ready this morning, Rhys pulled out a delicately midnight blue, floor-length, long sleeved gown fashioned of tiny sparkling crystals made to resemble lace. I nearly sobbed when my mate revealed that it was a maternity gown his mother made for me.</p><p>The impossibly soft fabric hugged my every curve, the patterned lace forming a deep ‘V’ shape over my breasts and opened in the back, allowing my tattoos to be on display. The sleeves capped at my wrists, the lace blending perfectly with the tattoos on both arms. More importantly, the gown hung over the prominence of my stomach; accentuating it enough to send our message without words. The High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court were expecting.</p><p>A dangerous announcement to make so early in my pregnancy, but a necessary one thanks to the current looming threat. While we initially feared it would enable Keir to push his and Kallon’s plans into motion sooner than we hoped, now we had our timeline and knew what to expect.</p><p>“Ready to be wicked?” Rhys purred as he rested a hand on the small of my back, jolting me from my thoughts.</p><p>Glancing again at the beautifully dark and brutal carved beasts on the gates, I nodded with a smirk and turned to him. “Let’s go.”</p><p>Both straightening to our full height, Rhys moved his hand to hold mine up as he escorted me into the throne room as the gates groaned open to reveal us to our court. The gathering crowd grew eerily quiet as Rhys and I ascended across the dark marble floor. Then the gasps came as they slowly, one by one, took notice of my stomach.</p><p>Though my shoulders were already squared, I tilted my chin up a little higher as the new weight of their observations fell over me. Over the decade I had gotten used to their stares, their murmurings, every time Rhys and I visited. This time was different. A pregnant female was rare and seeing as it had been centuries since a child was born into the ruling family of the Night Court, their gaze almost felt...scandalous. My façade remained as solid as ever as Rhys escorted me to our twin thrones, the crowd ceasing any whispers of my condition as we turned to face them. I sat first, but Rhys remained standing as his eyes met with Keir’s. The male stiffened the second he saw my belly and by the murderous look on Mor’s face, standing at the foot of the dais with the two Illyrians flanking her sides, he must have revealed his immediate disgust.</p><p>I could feel Rhys’s front cracking a bit, his dark powers slowly filling the room with shadows as he stared down the steward—who, thankfully, wasn’t sneering this time as he stared back.</p><p>“Bow,” was all Rhys said, struggling with the effort to reign in his overprotective instincts from misting Keir on the spot.</p><p>While the crowd moved immediately at his order, Keir did so reluctantly, Mor’s mother at his side and following his lead. I sent a gentle wave of my power down the bond in an effort to calm my mate. <em>Don’t let him get to you.</em></p><p>He didn’t respond, instead tightening up his veneer, shadows dissipating, and sat in his throne before waving an idle hand to the court. “Rise,” he commanded.</p><p>The crowd moved together as one, and he waved a hand nonchalantly in dismissal; allowing them to return to their business. Keir dismissed his wife and remained across from us before clearing his throat. “I see congratulations are in order,” he commented, his sneer returning as his eyes shifted from our faces to my stomach.</p><p>I couldn’t help the protective hand I placed over it, wanting desperately to shield my child, but I instead moved my hand to the top—just below my bust line, emphasizing it more.</p><p>“Indeed, though you don’t actually mean it, do you?” Mor drawled, her voice and face fiercely calm.</p><p>Keir ignored his daughter and returned his gaze to Rhys, apparently choosing to outright ignore my presence as well, “I take it this means your lineage will pass onto the child?”</p><p>“Did you not expect my mate and I to produce any offspring? That I would simply pass my crown onto someone who wasn’t of my blood?” Rhys replied, keeping his stare dark.</p><p>Keir shifted on his feet, “I was always under the impression that a <em>powerful</em> High Lord such as yourself would choose not to procreate, why create any direct competition to your rule? Just take a look at the Autumn Court; so many sons all vying for the same throne by any means necessary, including murder.”</p><p>His words dripped with disdain, his insinuations mocking. “And yet you chose to try and secure an alliance with the court you warn us of now. From the look of it, you rather idolize the idea of a son overthrowing his father, or vice versa.” I replied, my tone as icy as my mask.</p><p>Keir’s shoulders stiffened at my words, his formidable gaze meeting mine. Through the bond, I could feel Rhys’s dark shadows creeping in the corners of the room. Mor and Cassian watched us, their stares deadly and ready to intervene. Azriel was already gone to attend to his mission while we remained.</p><p>The steward tilted his head forward in a slight bow, finally acknowledging me. “I would never presume such a thing, milady. As always, I am at your service,” he said, his voice tight.</p><p>It took all of my strength not to scoff at his words or snap his neck. Instead, I slowly stood from my throne, leaving my hand on the curved apex of my belly. “My son <em>will</em> inherit this very throne. And if neither I nor my mate grow weary of your existence by then, you will serve <em>him</em> as well.”</p><p>“I’m sure your son will rule just as sufficiently, my lady.” He bit back.</p><p>The aura in the room shifted as Rhys’s dark shadows were overpowered by my own. I blasted out dark talons of my power and sank them into Keir’s mind, painfully seizing him in place as I took a slow step onto the foot of the dais just a few feet away from Mor and Cassian, who now held their breaths as they watched me. Rhys remained in his throne, his own dark power emanating with mine as I felt a silent nod of approval down the bond.</p><p>My heart pounded in my chest from the effort of my display of power, and I felt my knees shake a bit as I continued staring at Keir with an icy smile. “My son will be more than sufficient; I promise you that. As you said, he's the son of a very powerful High Lord. I should also remind you of the power of <em>your</em> High Lady. With the combined powers of all the High Lords in Prythian, including your High Lord, just imagine what his powers would be like? Won’t that be a magnificent sight to behold?”</p><p>I tightened my grip on him, and he did his best not to cringe in pain as he managed to hiss, “Yes, milady.”</p><p>My power slipped from him immediately as I was unable to hold on, my forehead gleaming with sweat, and it took me a few silent deep breaths before I smiled cruelly. “That’s good to hear.”</p><p>Rhys was at my side in a second as my knees trembled again. The exertion it took to intimidate Keir was draining, much more than I had anticipated. I was grateful for my floor length gown hiding my trembling legs as Rhys perched his hand on the small of my back.</p><p>
  <em>Are you okay?</em>
</p><p><em>Yes, I just need to sit down.</em> I reassured.</p><p>
  <em>We’re leaving now, don’t worry</em>
</p><p>Keir was catching his own breath as he stared us down. As much as I didn’t want to reveal any weakness, neither did he. After a minute, he straightened again and tilted his head towards Rhys in a bow. “Is that all you needed milord? Your visit was last minute, and I was in the midst of gathering your reports.”</p><p>Azriel had showed up only seconds prior to Keir speaking, giving a silent nod to me and Rhys, indicating he gathered the last of the intel we needed. Rhys waved an idle hand at Keir, “The High Lady and I wanted to share our news and be on our way. Go. Continue to serve me as you have,” he said as he began escorting me back towards the gated doors, Mor, Cassian, and Azriel trailing behind us.</p><p>We stopped before stepping into the frame, looking back over his shoulder at Keir--who remained at his same spot before our thrones. “Unless, of course, we grow tired of your existence,” he drawled before we continued out the doors.</p><p>The minute we were out of view of him, and the rest of the court patrons, he scooped me up into his arms and flew us into the palace above the mountains, the others right behind us. Amren was waiting in the open hall, seated on a settee, but popped up immediately when she took in my pale features.</p><p>“What happened?” She asked, but Rhys ignored her, sitting me gingerly on the settee and kneeling before me to check over my condition.</p><p>“I’m fine,” I reassured him and the others as they gathered around me, the jasmine scented breeze already doing wonders to soothe my tired body as I breathed deeply. “That took a lot more effort than it used to, that’s all.”</p><p>Mor sighed in relief before grinning smugly, “You did a damn fine job though, the look on his face was priceless.” she boasted.</p><p>Cassian crossed his arms over his chest, “I have to admit, you even intimidated me a little bit.”</p><p>I smiled tiredly as Rhys stood, facing them. “It intimidated him for now. Maybe that’ll be enough to stumble his plans with Kallon for a while. That alliance explains why he’s been more and more arrogant these past years, but our news of the baby today threw a wrench in their plans. A temporary one at least.”</p><p>“Did you get everything you needed?” I asked Azriel.</p><p>Everyone turned to the shadowsinger, who nodded. “I went over our timeline with the general, he confirmed the details, but revealed one more possible player.”</p><p>We all paused, and Rhys frowned, “Another alliance?”</p><p>Azriel nodded, causing Cassian and Mor to curse. Amren crossed her arms, “Let me guess. Beron?”</p><p>He nodded again, and Rhys cursed as I sighed. “He really wants that damn alliance with Beron, doesn’t he?” I asked.</p><p>“Did the general know what Beron’s role in all this is?” Rhys asked.</p><p>Azriel shook his head, “He only knew that they’ve been exchanging letters. No one seems to know what the letters say, or any other context, but it's rumored that it has to do with the coup.”</p><p>“We need to keep interrogating the general,” Cassian said. “He’ll find out eventually, and we need him to keep relaying information.”</p><p>Rhys nodded in agreement. “I’ll keep my grip on his mind, making sure he forgets but also start leading him to inquire about the letters.”</p><p>“I can get one of my spies to keep tabs on Keir,” Azriel insisted, but Rhys shook his head.</p><p>“This is a better way in. We can’t let Keir know we’re onto him. We already have your spies trailing Kallon and monitoring the camps in the mountains. Kallon thinks it’s part of our normal rotation. If Keir notices the same presence, he’ll connect the dots.” He explained.</p><p>Azriel and Cassian nodded in agreement. “So, what do we do now?” I asked, and one by one everyone took notice of my hand idly caressing my stomach.</p><p>Now that the Court of Nightmares knew of my pregnancy, word would spread quickly over the entire Night Court, including the Illyrians. Those behind this rising coup would find a way to regroup and create some new plan of action, that was guaranteed. The news of a potential new alliance with another court meant that their numbers were even greater now. My eyes met with Rhys’s as we both realized at the same time what our next move was.</p><p>“We need to call on our friends for an early summit meeting.”</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
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    <p>The summit meeting was what we now called the annual meetings with the other High Lords (and Ladies) of Prythian, as well as our human alliances in the mortal lands. We kept the tradition of meeting at the Dawn Court Palace, as we had with our initial meeting before the war with Hybern. But with the threat of civil war in our court, the rest of the inner circle agreed it would be best to call on our allies early. We didn’t have time to wait now that the news of my pregnancy would soon spread throughout the court; and if our suspicions about Beron were correct, then the news and the threat we faced could extend into the other courts as well.</p><p>“We need to try and convince Tamlin to come. To the summit meeting,” I said to Rhys a few nights following our visit to Hewn City.</p><p>Upon our return back to Velaris, we finally broke the news to my sisters about the looming threat. They were both, surprisingly, calm about it. As I suspected, Nesta revealed she had pretty much guessed there was something brewing, and I couldn’t help but catch a glance over at a certain winged warrior. Elain’s reaction shocked us the most; she simply asked what our next move was, and when we all stared at her in equal amazement she only shrugged and told us she had a vision. </p><p>I had almost forgotten of Elain’s seer abilities, and I silently asked her what the vision was of. She crossed her arms and shifted a bit uncomfortably as she recounted the vague details of a great-winged animal sweeping over a grassy knoll and a fast-beating heart pounding in the back of her mind. Unfortunately, that was all she saw, but knew it meant something was amiss.</p><p>With that matter settled, Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel disclosed to all of us how we would move forward. Once Kallon knew of my pregnancy, it was inevitable that his Illyrian armies would also learn of it and they would scramble to adjust their plans with Keir and his army. Based on the timeline the three of them put together, we originally had little more than a year of their continued secret meetings before Kallon would move his joint forces with Keir on the remaining Illyrian camps who opposed the coup. The new development would now shorten that to only give us a couple of months—at most. Keir and Kallon would want the coup to take place before any chance I had at giving birth; a fact that now haunted my mate, family, and I. With me being only a little over three months along, and approximately six months left, our enemies would strike early.</p><p>Which now led us to calling on our allies, our friendships we’d solidified in the last decade. Not only to ask for their support in bringing down this coup, but to announce my pregnancy to them as well. When Viviane announced that she and Kallias were expecting their child, they had invited us all—excluding Tamlin and Beron, to the Winter Court in order to celebrate together. We were all happy for them, and this was our chance to have the same support. Only, along with sharing the news that we were expecting, we would have to warn them of the potential threat they could face should the coup succeed. If Keir expected to take over as High Lord of the Night Court, any and all alliances that Rhys and I built would be shattered with his rule. The alliance the steward had with Beron would ignite distrust with the other courts, and they all may very well be targeted next.</p><p>This coup <em>could</em> not and <em>would</em> not succeed. If it did, every step of progress we had made in Prythian, and with our human alliances as well, could crumble. Keir and Kallon’s numbers were great, and if they indeed had Beron’s backing, then we alone would stand little chance to fight back. But with the other courts behind us, ready to fight with us again, the coup would be futile. However, as Rhys and I started working on the letters we would send out requesting to move up the summit meeting, I couldn’t help voicing the nagging feeling in the back of my mind about Tamlin and his continued reluctance to attend. He was currently at a standstill, and we had to rally him for us before our enemies could turn him over to their benefit.</p><p>“We send him a letter every year requesting his presence at the summit. He always declines,” Rhys replied from his desk as he continued to write the letter we would send to Thesan first.</p><p>I sighed from my spot on the chaise lounge across from his desk and stood, coming to slowly stand in front of it. “We need to do more than send a letter,” I pressed.</p><p>Rhys paused before setting down his pen and settling back in his chair in order to meet my gaze. “I’m listening.”</p><p>I fidgeted, “What if we went to him in person? We could give him an idea, not details, of what the summit meeting is about and convince him to come?”</p><p>He darkened, those male-bonded instincts flaring with his need to protect me and our child. “We?” He growled, standing.</p><p>I moved to place my hands on his chest gently and he relaxed at my touch. “If we go together, he’ll see how serious we are; how much we need him to be there this time,” I reassured.</p><p>“We don’t <em>need</em> his alliance, Feyre. We’ll have the other courts backing, our friends,” he said.</p><p>“If Beron is really working with Keir, which we know is very likely at this point, then we need as much help as possible. Not just from our friends,”</p><p>“We don’t need <em>his</em> help,” Rhys insisted.</p><p>“We might.”</p><p>He sighed heavily, his hands coming to rest on my hips as he looked down at my stomach, his thumbs rubbing the sides of the small mound. I slid my hands from his chest to his shoulders, watching the debate behind those violet, star-flecked eyes. He knew I was right, but every inclination in his body was screaming at him to shield me—us. He didn’t want to deny me, but I knew it was a risk to bring my mate before the male that had betrayed me—betrayed us, in the past; all while in the delicate condition I was currently in. Rhys could control himself, but a part of me knew that asking him to stand alongside his pregnant mate while confronting another hostile male might be pushing his preternatural instincts.</p><p>I would have to confront Tamlin on my own.</p><p>I once vowed that I never wanted to see him again; that I would never again set foot on Spring Court soil, but I went back once to protect my court and I would do it again. My home, my family, and my court, along with the other courts in Prythian, were in peril. If it took me alone to face Tamlin and convince him to join our cause, I could do it. </p><p>I sighed as I pressed my forehead against Rhys’s, his conflicted gaze meeting mine. “Let’s try sending the letter first, and then...we’ll go from there.” I said.</p><p>His eyes searched mine for a minute before he pressed a lingering kiss to my brow and nodded in agreement. “We’ll re-evaluate once we get the response letters from everyone,” he said.</p><p>I smiled faintly, concurring with a tired sigh. “At least, on the bright side, we’ll be sharing some good news.”</p><p>He smirked, “I wonder if they’ll be as happy for us as they were for Kallias and Viviane.”</p><p>“Helion will make some joke about you finally producing offspring, and Tarquin might send us some kind of gift.” I replied.</p><p>Rhys chuckled and pulled me closer, “I never would’ve had children if it weren’t for you, my love. The thought hardly ever crossed my mind.”</p><p>My smile turned reserved as I thought of all the times he previously mentioned having children—only really having done so after the events of Under the Mountain. He knew we were mates back then, and despite believing I was another male’s bride, he still dreamed of the possibility.</p><p>“Then I came along, huh?” I asked softly.</p><p>“Oh, you did that and more Feyre darling,” he responded with a rogue grin, causing me to laugh wholeheartedly as he pressed a kiss to my lips.</p><hr/><p>“You want to go see Tamlin by yourself?” Elain asked in a quiet horror as she stared at me.</p><p>Nesta scoffed, “Does that mate of yours know about this?”</p><p>I rolled my eyes as I turned to face her. After our conversation last night and sending off the last of our letters to the other courts, I made the decision to go to the Spring Court without Rhys today. It was something I simply had to do on my own in order to persuade Tamlin to attend our emergency summit.</p><p>“No, he doesn’t, and that’s how I want it to stay.” I replied, glancing back at Elain as I said this. </p><p>I asked my sisters to meet me in the library so I could discuss my plans with them. They were the only ones I knew who wouldn’t tell Rhys. The others would disapprove, especially Mor and Cassian and especially now that I was pregnant and vulnerable in their eyes. They would either insist on coming with me or try to talk me out of it. And as much as I hated to admit it, we would need Tamlin’s help again for this fight.</p><p>“But Feyre, he <em>hates</em> us. Are you sure he’ll even welcome you in?” Elain asked, genuinely concerned at the idea of being turned away at the border. </p><p>I rested a hand on my stomach, “He won’t turn me away. Maybe at first, he’ll try, but,” I glanced down at my hand, “he’ll at least let me speak.” </p><p>“So, you plan to use your pregnancy as leverage?” Nesta asked coldly.</p><p>“Would you rather I manipulate him again? Claim I’m being abused and seek solace in his arms, then somehow convince him to attend the summit and leave?” I bit back.</p><p>Elain cringed, but Nesta didn’t flinch. “He could choose to kill you and your baby on the spot if you show up unannounced,” she retorted.</p><p>“He won’t,” I said.</p><p>“How can you be so sure?”</p><p>“Because he’s still in love with me,” I admitted. “I know it's been years, but I believe a part of him still does. Despite having a mate, and carrying another male’s child, he probably always will and because of that I know he’ll at least hear me out. If he still won’t attend the summit, I’ll at least know I tried.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence that followed between the three of us. We knew how important this summit meeting was. Nesta from firsthand experience, having attended our original meeting, along with the ones we established after the war. Elain having only been to a couple since she and Greyson still weren’t on speaking terms. These meetings were an opportunity for all of us as a continent to be united, and over the last decade we’d established some semblance of peace; now that peace was being threatened. Whether any of us liked it or not, we would all have to be united against those who sought to overthrow even one of us. While there was little hope of establishing a steady alliance with the Autumn Court, there was at least still a chance with the Spring Court.</p><p>Elain walked over to my side quietly. “Can you at least take Azriel with you? He can stay in the shadows unnoticed while you and Tamlin talk and step in if necessary,” she implored.</p><p>“Take Azriel and Cassian. Those brutes can monitor and protect you, if necessary,” Nesta insisted, her arms crossed over her chest.</p><p>“I’m not taking anyone. I can protect myself and the baby if I have to,”</p><p>“You can barely winnow, or use any of your powers for that matter, without collapsing.” Nesta pointed out.</p><p>“It’s a good thing I won’t need to then.”</p><p>“How can you be so sure?” Nesta snapped.</p><p>Elain and I both started at her sudden rage. Elain was used to Nesta’s overprotective behavior over her, but it shocked us both to see her so...overzealous with her sudden desire to protect me. Our relationship was...complicated, to say the least. The years following the war, especially after banishing her from Velaris and sending her to the Illyrian mountains with Cassian, was a bit strained. After she returned with Cassian, and after noting the bond between the pair, nobody dared mention it. I figured I would let them announce whatever relationship they had when they were ready. In the meantime, things between my eldest sister and I seemed better but still tense.</p><p>Over the years she spent more time with us, and eventually silently agreed to moving into our estate. She kept up her ever-present cold facade, but still ate every meal, celebrated (or at least her idea of celebration) every holiday, and attended every summit meeting with us. While she and Elain technically had no official title in our court, they were still a part of the Inner Circle. Since announcing that I was pregnant, however, I noticed more of a change in Nesta. While never admitting it outright, she continued to monitor my condition every week.</p><p>She...cared. About me, and about the baby.</p><p>I softened and reached a tentative hand to place on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before looking back at Elain. “I just need you two to trust me. I’ll winnow myself to the Spring Court when Rhys, Azriel and Cassian leave for the mountains after lunch. In the meantime, cover for me. If I’m not back by dinner, then you let the others know where I am.” I explained.</p><p>Elain was about to protest before I cut in carefully, “If I’m not back by then, it’ll be because I couldn’t winnow myself back. In which case, I’ll communicate that with Rhys. You’ll only have to tell them in the worst-case scenario, which won’t happen. I promise.”</p><p>I dared a look at Nesta, who had squared her shoulders and recomposed her icy facade. She finally nodded in approval, and we both looked at Elain for her assent. She hesitated for a few seconds before acknowledging as well. </p><p>“I trust you Feyre, of course I do...just please be careful. For your sake, and the baby’s.” Elain said, glancing down at my stomach.</p><p>“We’ll be alright.” I said, soothing her anxiety with a gentle squeeze of her hand.</p><hr/><p>A few hours later I bid my sisters farewell after we had lunch together, and after the three Illyrian males left for the plans Rhys had set for them in the mountains. They would be “popping” in for a surprise visit at the Ironcrest camp under the guise of sharing reports with Kallon. It worked as a great excuse to spend time with my sisters, which was what I told Rhys before he left. Mor and Amren were busy with their own responsibilities as second and third in command, and my disappearance would, hopefully, go unnoticed.</p><p>I reassured Nesta and Elain of my safety one last time before summoning up what little powers I had in order to winnow myself to the Spring Court border. Out of an abundance of caution (and some convincing on Nesta’s behalf) I technically landed on Summer Court territory. But after using what energy I had reserved, I stumbled onto Spring soil and leaned against a large oak for support. The world spun upon my landing and continued to spin for several minutes afterwards. My stomach roiled violently, and I realized then that it probably wasn’t the wisest decision to travel after just having lunch.</p><p>I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to render my surroundings immobile, but when things finally calmed, my eyes shot back open as I ducked behind a nearby bush to hurl up all of my stomach's contents. So far, I wasn’t off to such a great start.</p><p>“Feyre?” A familiar male voice asked, thoroughly confused. </p><p>I groaned from my spot behind the bushes and stood slowly to face Lucien, who was now dismounting his horse and rushing to my aid.</p><p>“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked, taking my arm as he helped me upright.</p><p>I moaned with a cringe, his grip pulling me up too fast and I tore away from him just in time as another brutal wave of nausea hit and I turned back towards the bush. I heard him sigh before he came back over to gently pull back my hair, waiting for me to finish. Once my sickness passed, I did my best to appear normal before turning back to him.</p><p>“Hi,” I rasped.</p><p>Lucien frowned, helping to steady me as I faced him. “Feyre, what’s wrong? What are you doing here? Do you know what’ll happen if Tamlin finds out?”</p><p>I shook my head, slowly. “I’m fine, Lucien. Tamlin is who I came here to see.”</p><p>His face fell, “Did something happen with Rhys, or the others? Is Elain okay?” he asked, alarmed.</p><p>I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. “Elain is fine, and nothing happened Lucien. I don’t appreciate the insinuation that I’m here because I had a falling out with my mate.”</p><p>“Well what am I supposed to believe?” He asked incredulously, “You show up here unannounced, looking like <em>hell</em>-"</p><p>“I’m pregnant,” I said, cutting him off.</p><p>He stared at me, appalled. “And... its Rhys’s...?”</p><p>“Lucien!”</p><p>“Well again, what am I supposed to believe!” He snapped.</p><p>I sighed in exasperation, finally starting to feel some of my wits return, but my knees were still weak as the full effect of winnowing was starting to weigh on me and I tried to subtly lean against a tree in order to keep myself upright. “I came here to talk to Tamlin and convince him to attend the emergency summit meeting Rhys and I called,” I explained.</p><p>“Vassa got the letter this morning. So did Tamlin,” he confirmed, taking my arm again for support.</p><p>I exhaled a deep breath as I let him lead me over to a nearby tree stump. I sat slowly with his help, “He needs to come this year. It's important,” I continued.</p><p>“My guess is it has something to do with you being pregnant? And not just some formal announcement?” Lucien asked.</p><p>I nodded and took a few more deep breaths in order to regain my stamina. Lucien hesitated before scooping me up carefully in his arms and walked us to his horse.</p><p>“You shouldn’t be winnowing in your condition, Feyre, it's dangerous.” He said as he helped me into the saddle.</p><p>“How did you know that?” I asked after getting settled, raising a brow.</p><p>He grabbed the reins and started leading the horse in the direction of Tamlin’s estate, “My mother was pregnant several times, as I matured she shared some knowledge with me...in the event that I should ever be fortunate enough to have any offspring, and be...empathetic towards my wife, or mate.” He explained, keeping his eyes forward.</p><p>I stared at him carefully, watching as his composure shifted while he spoke as he thought of Elain. The mention of offspring would no doubt trigger the thought of his mate, and I waited for an inevitable question about my sister. It had been almost a year since his last visit to Velaris, and though she tried not to ignore him as much, she still wasn’t anywhere near ready to accept their mating bond. She did her best to be friendly with Lucien after we moved into the estate, but I could tell how grateful she was that he decided to keep his distance and spent most of his time with Vassa and Jurian.</p><p>“She really is fine, just so you know. Excited to be an aunt,” I said, moving a hand to rest on my stomach.</p><p>He nodded and I saw his mechanical eye whir subtly as he scanned over my form. “Are you and Rhys excited?” He asked.</p><p>I caressed my swollen abdomen, “Yes. We’ve actually been trying for a while...” I admitted.</p><p>“I see,” he said carefully.</p><p>“I know you’re as skeptical as always Lucien, but I didn’t come all this way for no good reason.”</p><p>“Why not send Rhysand?”</p><p>“Because I can handle my own business with Tamlin.” </p><p>Lucien sighed, “I’m just not sure how well Tamlin will react.”</p><p>I shifted in the saddle, “It’s not like he’ll hurt me.” I paused, “Right?”</p><p>“No of course not,” he reassured. “It’s just been a long time since you’ve seen each other. Last time was after the war, and he...wasn’t okay, for a while.”</p><p>I tried not to make a snide remark at that, instead looking up as we approached Tamlin’s manor; staring with wide eyes the closer we got. On his past visits, Rhys informed me of how dismantled the estate was—Tamlin having nearly destroyed it after I left for the Night Court a second time, and then leaving it to rot after the war. Now it stood just as pristine and proud as I remembered. Large rose bushes adorning the front driveway, ivy vines crawling up alabaster stone walls and wrapping around the columns to the front entrance delicately. I took a few leveled breaths, trying to settle my nerves as the full weight of where I found myself fell on my shoulders. I had to remind myself that I was only here temporarily. I wasn’t and wouldn’t be trapped within those walls ever again.</p><p><em>I’m free. Just breathe</em>.</p><p>I was grateful Lucien did his best not to pay me any attention as I continued to work to calm myself through more deep breaths. This time being in the Spring Court felt different—uneasy; maybe because this time I was carrying Rhys’s child or because it had been years rather than months since I stepped foot onto this territory. I had resigned to never returning; of never seeing Tamlin alone again, and although this time was as much for my people as it was before, I couldn’t help feeling...panicked. I slipped my eyes shut as I continued to breathe, but my breath hitched a bit when I felt that familiar flutter in the pit of my stomach. I looked down at the small swell and placed a reassuring hand over it.</p><p>
  <em>We’re okay baby. I promise.</em>
</p><p>Lifting my gaze from my stomach, I went rigid the second I was met with a pair of golden-flecked green eyes staring at me from the front steps of the driveway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lucien’s horse came to a halt as we approached the front steps of Tamlin’s manor. He continued to stare at me, completely taken aback as Lucien and I drew closer. I was still stiff as I stared back at him, my skin crawling with unwelcome nerves as we got closer and my breath caught in my throat as we stopped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feyre?” Tamlin breathed, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I jolted in the saddle when Lucien touched my knee carefully, and I met his reassuring gaze before he easily helped me down. I took a minute to compose myself, chanting over and over again in my head that this was temporary. I could do this, I could face him alone—for my people and for my family. I sucked in a deep breath before turning back to Tamlin, whose gaze hardened from being initially bewildered by my unexpected arrival. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want?” He growled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucien took a careful step in front of me, but I touched his shoulder gently and stepped forward instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came to talk to you about the summit meeting,” I replied, holding my head up high. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got your letter.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I’m here to persuade you to come this year.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I frowned, “Tamlin, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know what kind of trick you’re trying to play at Feyre, but I’m not falling for it this time,” he snapped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not here to trick you, Tamlin, I only came to talk.” I pressed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you want to talk?!” He snarled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I flinched at his outburst and hated myself for it. As High Lady of the Night Court, Tamlin would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> get the best of me, I couldn’t allow any weakness to show. Still, I flinched, my stomach fluttering anxiously and before I could help it my hand instinctively flew to shield my swollen abdomen—hidden beneath the loose cream sweater I wore. I saw Tamlin’s eyes follow my movement, and before I could move my hand away his eyes widened in realization. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hesitated as he continued to stare, perturbed by my condition. I noticed the connections he was trying to make in his mind, his eyes searching at this revelation and how it might’ve led me here—back in his court. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I glanced at Lucien, who squared his shoulders and turned to Tamlin, “Just hear her out Tamlin.” He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tamlin didn’t respond, continuing to stare at my stomach. I shifted on my feet, trying to think of what to say—of what I could say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t why I wanted you to come to the summit, Tamlin. You haven’t been a part of our alliance for a decade, and honestly you should be.” His eyes finally met mine as I continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You once asked Rhys if I could ever forgive you, and for a long time...I didn’t think I could. But we’re all on the same side now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are we?” He asked, his eyes still as cold as his tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We wouldn’t invite you every year if we weren’t at least trying, Tamlin. It was Rhysand’s idea to send Tarquin’s armies to help rebuild your borders,” I tried to reason. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something I could’ve done on my own if you hadn’t destroyed them.” He snapped, temper flaring again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t destroy your borders, Tamlin.” I said cautiously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You played a pretty profound role in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t come here to point fingers!” I snapped back, but winced from the effort, my head starting to spin again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucien reached to steady me in place, “Why don’t we go inside?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I answered quickly before the dizziness dispelled. I sighed, “Look, what happened with the war with Hybern, and everything before...is in the past. I didn’t think I could forgive you, but right now, more than anything, all I want is peace. For my child, and for all of us. I’m having a baby, and all I want for him is to inherit our throne with strong allies in </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> courts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tamlin glanced at my stomach again, his face still dark and skeptical as he returned his gaze to mine. “Why the emergency summit?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I chewed on my lip thoughtfully. I couldn’t tell him of the threat the Night Court faced, it was too risky. He had to be present with the others before Rhys and I revealed the coup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All I can say is that there’s important news to be shared; news that could affect all of Prythian and the Mortal Lands,” I said, glancing over at Lucien. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucien nodded, “I’ll talk with Jurian and Vassa, but I’m sure there won't be any issue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked back at Tamlin. “At least think about it. That’s all I ask,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He squared his shoulders, leveling a look at me. “Is that it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I paused and cast a glance at Lucien again, whose eyes met mine at the same time. “What do you say Tamlin?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I say I want you to remove the High Lady of the Night Court from here,” came his cold reply, a bit mocking as he addressed me by my title. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I darkened, “Lucien isn’t your emissary anymore, he doesn’t obey you. Your years of sitting down here in solitude have more than proved that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m only in this solitude thanks to you. Do you know how long it took me to regain the trust of my people, and now that I have it you show up here unannounced claiming a truce? And I’m supposed to believe it just because you’re pregnant?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The only person you have to blame for the misgivings in your court is yourself, Tamlin.” I threw my arms up in the air exasperatedly, letting them drop by my sides. “If you don’t want to believe me, fine. I came here to at least try and include you. You’ve been excluding yourself for over a decade, and I thought maybe things could change, but I won’t beg you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned away after my speech, unable to look at me as he muttered “Get out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shook my head incredulously before turning on my heel and storming down the driveway, or at least with as much vigor as I could muster. It hadn’t been a full hour since I arrived, and without my full strength back I wasn’t confident I would be able to winnow back to Velaris. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feyre, wait.” Lucien interjected before I could reach the end of the driveway. “You can’t winnow back yet, you don’t have the stamina.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned back to face him, “I’ll be fine.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you won't.” He turned an imploring look back at Tamlin, “I can’t winnow her back, my powers only allow me to winnow in short bursts. And I’m guessing you came here under wraps?” He asked, turning his attention back to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lucien, no.” I started, realizing what he was implying. “If I can’t winnow myself back, I’ll call on Rhys.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are not bringing Rhysand back into my court,” Tamlin snarled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has to get home somehow, Tamlin.” Lucien argued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can take her back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t. Winnowing that many times is dangerous on a pregnant female.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, breathing became difficult as the two continued to argue back and forth. If Tamlin wouldn’t allow Rhys back on his territory, then I wouldn’t be able to call him through our bond in order to winnow us both back home. I was too weak to winnow myself even a mile away from here, and Lucien was right. Too many trips would endanger the baby’s life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was trapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Trapped.Trapped.</span>
  <em>
    <span>Trapped</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just like before, when Tamlin locked me in his manor. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, not like before. This isn’t like before.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I slipped my eyes shut again, turning away from them as I focused on leveling my breaths. I felt my dark powers beginning to edge around the corners of my mind, my thoughts racing in a frenzy as my nerves screamed and begged to be released from this cage, but I allowed my breaths to welcome a glow—the warm and soft glow I’d inherited from Helion. It was weaker, only able to illuminate the inside of my mind and skin, but I allowed the warmth in as my breathing finally evened out. I touched my abdomen gently as it fluttered lightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We’re safe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>My son and I were safe, but deep down I knew thing’s weren’t completely settled. My sole purpose in returning to the Spring Court was to convince Tamlin to attend the summit. So far, I had failed miserably. It seemed my sudden appearance was only stirring more distrust when all I was trying to do was build it. I wanted nothing but Tamlin’s promise that he would attend, I couldn’t leave now—so, I had to keep trying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time I opened my eyes, Tamlin and Lucien’s astonished eyes were on me. Though subtle, I guessed they could see the subtle glow on my skin as I grounded myself. The effort it took, however, was starting to make me feel lightheaded and I took a careful step in Tamlin’s direction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” was all I could muster as I stumbled forward. Lucien caught me in his arms before I could fall to the ground, but I kept my eyes on Tamlin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please help, Tamlin...not just to get me home, but at the summit. Please, just...show up, even if you never come to another summit meeting again. It would-” I swallowed as a dizzying spell started to envelope me. “I-It would mean more to me...than you realize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I managed to breathe out the last of my sentence, the world around me faded from light to dark—in the midst of it I could hear Lucien’s muffled voice presumably calling my name and Tamlin’s form getting closer to us before a wave of darkness overtook us completely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I cringed as a high-pitched whine sounded in my ears, but it soon disappeared and I opened my eyes to familiar surroundings. I was disoriented at first as I started to recognize the gossamer drapes blowing in the wind and the hall of moon-stone pillars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feyre!” came Mor’s panicked voice, followed by the sounds of her shoes hitting the marble floors as she approached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I turned to her, I realized I was in the palace above the Court of Nightmares and in the seconds before Mor rushed to my side I became aware of the fact that Lucien and Tamlin were standing beside me. Lucien was still holding me upright, but Mor quickly shoved him away and took his place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you doing here?!” She yelled at Lucien, and turned threatening eyes to Tamlin. “And what in the gods-damned name is </span>
  <em>
    <span>he</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feyre came to </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> court. I just brought her back,” Tamlin all but snarled in reply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was too weak to winnow herself back,” Lucien added quickly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any idea what Rhysand will do when he finds out you were anywhere near her?” She growled at Tamlin, ignoring Lucien altogether. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mor, please.” I said, finally having the clarity to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tamlin had actually winnowed us back, regardless of what he believed it might cost him. Maybe I had gotten through to him after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mor turned me to face her, giving me a once-over with terror-stricken eyes. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Is the-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s just fine Mor,” came Rhysand’s smooth voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned at the sound, unable to help the relief that flooded through me as he walked through the entranceway of the palace—Cassian and Azriel flanking his sides, their shoulders tight and jaws taught as they took in Tamlin’s presence. I moved from Mor’s embrace and made towards his direction, but I overestimated my renewed strength and my knees buckled. Mor gasped as the males in the room stiffened—except for Rhys, who caught me easily in his arms and swept me off my feet. He brought me over to the settee in the middle of the room and set me down carefully, dropping to one knee in front of me. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you alright? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He asked down the bond, a hand coming to my abdomen as if to check on the baby.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Perfectly, fine. I promise. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I reassured him, resting a hand atop his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those beautiful violet eyes silently studied mine for a moment before he stood, turning to face Tamlin and Lucien. “Thank you for bringing Feyre back,” Rhys said calmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>thanking</span>
  </em>
  <span> them?” Mor asked incredulously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes, cousin, I think you jump to conclusions,” Rhys simply replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cassian, who had relaxed upon seeing Rhys’s unmoved demeanor, snorted from his and Azriel’s spot beside her, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Sometimes?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mor threw him a deathly glare, but before she could open her mouth to retort, Lucien spoke up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feyre came to the Spring Court to talk to Tamlin. She said she wanted him, that you both wanted him, to attend this year’s summit meeting,” he began, looking at Rhys as he explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was too weak to winnow back, and I knew my attempts would endanger the youngling she’s carrying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mor stiffened at the word. “She told us she was pregnant,” Lucien added quickly. “When Feyre started to feel faint, Tamlin winnowed us both here.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All eyes turned to Tamlin, who had kept his proud and tall stance a good distance away at Lucien’s side. Rhys hadn’t taken his eyes off the male since he thanked him, and I began to worry when another minute passed after Lucien’s statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, Rhys cleared his throat. “Will you be attending then?” He asked Tamlin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tamlin’s green eyes were as hard as stone as he matched Rhys’s own gaze. He stiffly nodded, glancing at me briefly. “I’ll go this time, but I make no promises to attend again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I watched as amethyst and emerald hardened, faces unyielding in a silent exchange between males. I couldn’t help the image being captured in my mind and how I would try to recreate it on canvas later. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Amethyst vs. emerald</span>
  </em>
  <span> I would call the painting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rhys, unblinking, simply nodded his head in acknowledgement before Tamlin tore his gaze away and towards Lucien. “Are you coming?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lucien hesitated, glancing in my direction as he undoubtedly thought of Elain. Turning his eyes from me and briefly at Azriel, his face darkened marginally before he shook it away and finally turned back to Tamlin with a nod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tamlin simply stepped beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder before they both winnowed away without another word. Mor finally relaxed with a sigh and turned to face me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were you thinking going over there like that, Feyre?” She implored pleadingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was thinking about what was best for my people, for you—all of you.” I replied, making it a point to meet Cassian and Azriel’s equal unapproving gaze. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could’ve asked one of us to go with you, Feyre. That was a risky move, for you and for the baby,” Cassian argued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was something I had to do alone, and as your High Lady I don’t have to explain it further than that,” I snapped a little too fiercely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of them exchanged frowns and I sighed heavily, “Look, I’m sorry I pulled rank like that, but this </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> important. As strained as things are with Tamlin, we might need him for this fight. He proved useful during the war with Hybern, and if Beron has truly allied with Keir and added to his numbers, we need all the help we can get—even if we don’t like it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They eased, unable to really argue. They knew I was right, despite their reluctance, and I was glad that they at least understood now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were right to go, Feyre.” Rhys said, kneeling before me again. “I’m just relieved that you’re alright. That you’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>both</span>
  </em>
  <span> alright,” he emphasized, touching my stomach again as it fluttered spontaneously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My eyes softened as I met his, cupping his cheek gently before we both stared at his hand on my abdomen. I hardly noticed when Mor, Cassian and Azriel quietly dismissed themselves during our silent interaction; Rhys continued to stroke the gentle swell of my stomach gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you mad? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I asked through the bond, unable to trust my voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rhys raised his head, “Why would I be mad?” he asked aloud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t tell you I was going. I didn’t tell anyone,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smirked wryly, “I already knew.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I balked at him. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was going to the Spring Court?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He came up to sit beside me on the settee, his hand never moving from my stomach. “Well, I didn’t know that, but I knew you had something planned,” he amended. “You folded far too easily yesterday after I said it wasn’t a good idea.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you didn’t try to talk me out of it?” I asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” Rhys brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “I know how insufferable my male-bonded instincts have been lately, and as promised, I won’t let them stifle you again.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled and leaned into his touch. “Thank you, for trusting me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Always, Feyre darling,” He smirked before capturing my lips in a quick kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed tiredly into the kiss, relishing in his touch but my body still too drained to envelope him in return. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you feeling?” He asked as he pulled away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay, just tired. The trip was a little more draining than I expected, I think the farther away I winnow the greater the effect,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His brow furrowed in concern, “We’ll stay here for the night then, longer if you need more time to recover. Once Thesan responds to our letter, I’ll request a room for us to stay in for as long as you’ll need for the summit too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded, “I’m sure he’ll be getting the same request from Kallias, unless Viviane stays behind.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rhys snorted, “If his instincts are anywhere near the same as mine, he won’t be leaving Viviane’s side anytime soon—especially with her being further along than you are.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I frowned, “Do you think it’ll be safe for her to travel? If it's this much of a strain on me, then I can’t imagine how it must be for her.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll find out. If anything, we’ll request moving the meeting to the Winter Court instead. That way we can all be present, and all pregnant females involved will be safe.” Rhys suggested. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, leaning against him. I couldn’t fight the burning in my eyes as the reality of our situation settled over me. Since finding out about the coup weeks ago, I no longer felt peace. I longed for that peace—the elation we felt after finding out I was pregnant. For a while, everything felt right. Now it was convoluted with threats of war and resentment from other courts—our </span>
  <em>
    <span>own</span>
  </em>
  <span> court. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Feyre?” Rhys asked gently as I stifled a sob with a sniffle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not fair,” I choked out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out a full-blown sob when he turned to face me again, wiping at my eyes in frustration. “What’s not?” He urged tenderly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of this,” I gestured to the room wildly with another sob. “This is supposed to be the happiest time in our lives. We’re having a </span>
  <em>
    <span>baby</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and instead of making plans for the nursery or picking out names, or clothes-” I hiccuped, angry with myself as I cursed my damned hormones. “We’re supposed to be planning for our son’s arrival, and instead we’re planning an emergency summit and pleading for allies because our own people are trying to kill us-” I couldn’t help another sob as I finally dissolved into tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rhys pulled me close, holding me and allowing me this time to cry—to mourn the joy we were being robbed of. This was the first time in weeks I had allowed myself to really react to the news of the coup; to give in to my fears for a minute. Despite how much I hated how vulnerable I felt, I needed this moment, and Rhys held me the whole time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I lost track of the minutes, burying my face in Rhys’s shoulder when he scooped me up in his arms. I hadn’t realized he brought us to my old room until moments later when I finally started to calm. We were on my old plush and extravagant bed, with Rhys holding me on his lap and his nose gently buried in my hair as I cried. Once the sobs ceased and a sense of relief in my chest lifted the weight from my shoulders, I raised my head slowly. I silently sniffed as I met Rhys’s empathetic expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my voice still thick from my tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t apologize, Feyre. You’re absolutely right; we’re dealing with something we shouldn’t have to be—especially now,” he said, his hand finding its favorite spot on my abdomen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> a joyous time for us. We’ve been dealt an unexpected circumstance, but we’re still going to have a baby. We’ll deal with this coup, and we’ll survive; our son </span>
  <em>
    <span>will</span>
  </em>
  <span> be born.” He fiercely reassured, brushing a thumb along my cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sniffed, trying not to burst into a new round of tears and he trembled with a laugh, “I can’t imagine the amount of hormones surging through you right now, my love.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I laughed wetly and hit his shoulder, “It’s not funny!” I exclaimed tearfully. “There are times when I can’t control my emotions, it's horrible.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he laughed again, pressing a lingering kiss to my forehead and I was able to calm myself without the need of new tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, spent. “Thank you...I know you’re right. No matter what, everything will work out—somehow. I just hate how much it's taken away from the baby, even if he isn’t here yet.” I said, looking down at his hand perched on the swell of my stomach. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t worry,” Rhys said, giving it another stroke. “We still have plenty of time to prepare for his arrival. In the meantime, before the summit and while we’re here, we’ll focus on him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out a deep breath and nodded in agreement. “I’d like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we start with his name? I’ve had a couple of ideas,” he grinned mischievously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not naming him Rhysand Jr.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rhys gasped in mock-exaggeration. “How can my mate not want to name our own son after his father?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I laughed, “Because our son needs his own name.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose, but I say we wait to officially name him once he’s born. Then we can make sure whatever name we choose suits him,” Rhys amended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I draped my arms over his shoulders with a smile, “I can live with that.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the six weeks I was aware of my pregnancy, I had learned almost everything an expecting female should know at sixteen weeks along. As a human I never learned much about pregnancy or babies and honestly never expected to. I figured I would learn more once my sisters were married and expecting their own. I never anticipated that I would be the first. Now, of course, being a faerie changed all of those preconceived notions. I was mated, in love, and both my mate and I desperately wanted a baby of our own. But after having tried to conceive for the last decade, I was honestly a little embarrassed that I didn't educate myself more on the condition.</p><p>However, Madja made sure to inform Rhys and I of what to expect based on whatever stage I was currently in. At four months along, well into the second stage of my pregnancy, Madja advised us that I would soon "pop." We must have looked equally confused at the phrase, because the healer then explained that soon my pregnant belly would become more pronounced—that I would start to <em>show</em>. I naively thought that it already happened, seeing as Rhys was obsessed with the small swell that was my stomach, but Madja expressed that this minor swelling was more of my body bloating from the hormonal changes occurring in my body.</p><p>In passing, my pregnancy wasn't at all noticeable. I often chose to wear my usual leggings and soft sweaters around the estate and whenever I ventured into the city—visiting my painting studio Ressina had graciously taken over after current events kept me away. The only time my stomach was truly noticeable was when I was either naked (much to my mates' pleasure) and when I wore the gown that hugged my every curve during our visit to the Court of Nightmares. Even then I had to flatten the fabric in order to really accentuate the curve to Keir and the rest of the court. However, among the fae, my condition was easily noticeable thanks to my scent. Every time Rhys and I had journeyed into the streets of Velaris for walks along the Sidra, dinner at Sevenda's, or otherwise, we received approving smiles from passersby who took notice—all too polite to come outright and congratulate us before we made an official announcement.</p><p>Once we had actually announced the news, days after the Court of Nightmares, most every fae—lesser and otherwise, frequently and eagerly praised us. It was such a contrast to the reaction at Hewn City, that I couldn't help but get a little emotional every time someone gave us a gift or offered a piece of advice. Many times, Rhys and I heard of their excitement for when I would start to show—of when my belly would "pop."</p><p>And now, standing in front of my floor length mirror wearing my silken dressing gown, I realized I had indeed <em>popped</em>.</p><p>I stood astonished as I viewed my new pronounced belly in the mirror, despite it still being rather minor, there was now a distinct outward curve from below my bust line to my hips. I turned to the side to get a better view of my new stomach and blinked; wondering at just how long it might've taken me to notice this change. It had been another week since Rhys and I sent out letters requesting to move up the summit meeting; convincing Tamlin to attend as well. While it only took a couple of days to hear back from all the courts, we were still exchanging letters to iron out the details.</p><p>Kallias had been the first to respond, expressing his and Viviane's shared desire to meet early since their child was due in only a matter of weeks. Their child would still be a newborn by the time our summit would normally take place, and neither had the inclination to leave behind their baby or part ways with the other so soon after the birth. After Rhys confirmed with Kallias that it was safe for Viviane to travel, he sent a request for a room for us to stay in—and for me to recover in after winnowing to Thesan's palace.</p><p>We both agreed it would be wise to express to Thesan why we needed the room, and the High Lord of the Dawn Court readily agreed—having already received the same request from the High Lord and High Lady of the Winter Court. Along with his approval of the room, he also sent us his congratulations in the form of a large crystalline vase filled with a colored variety of delicate flowers that grew exclusively at his court. I was a little hesitant upon first seeing the bouquet, recalling that the last time we received a gift from a court they had been the blood rubies from Tarquin—after taking his half of the Book of Breathings. Rhys reassured me, however, that flowers were indeed a good sign—the extravagance of the arrangement showing Thesan's support.</p><p>"Well look at you," Rhys said from the doorway with a devilish grin, pulling me from my thoughts as I met his gaze. "Or should I say look at you <em>two</em>?"</p><p>I grinned at him through the mirror as he crossed the room, getting on his knees before me as he took in the full view of my stomach. His violet eyes were full of adoration as one hand traced the new curve and the other rested on my hip.</p><p>"You really <em>are</em> showing now, my love," he said before placing a chaste kiss on my skin.</p><p>I smiled and brushed a stray lock of his blue-black hair from his face before he stood again and encircled his arms around my waist. He pulled me gently against him and our grins widened when my newly formed stomach pressed against the hard planes of his.</p><p>"You better enjoy being able to hold me this close while you can," I teased. "Pretty soon my belly will be getting in the way."</p><p>"Of all the things that could come between us, Feyre darling, this," he said, moving his hands to hold either side of me "is the best."</p><p>My face flushed with pure joy as he lowered his brow onto mine, his violet eyes sparkling with an equal amount as I laid my hands on his chest. "Will you still feel that way when I'm as big as a house?" I asked timidly.</p><p>For a while I was pondering over the fact that pregnancy now meant my body was going to change—drastically. Realistically, I always knew it was going to happen, but after hearing talks of just how excited everyone was to see the physical evidence of my pregnancy, the reality of this transformation began to settle over me. My figure had been through a few changes before; once transitioning from human to fae and adopting near-perfect features. Again during that period of darkness after Under the Mountain, when I had gone gaunt and pale; my body at its weakest. After coming to the Night Court—to Velaris, I recovered. My cheeks filled in, the color on my pallid complexion came back, and the rest of my figure filled out to a slender physique. Training with Cassian and learning to fly with Azriel had added more weight to my frame, coming strictly from my newfound muscles. Over the last decade, I maintained that lithe and fit shape, but being pregnant meant everything was becoming...soft—or at least <em>softer</em>. As much as I loved and reveled in the joy of knowing my son was growing by the day, I couldn't help but wonder at how Rhys might react to said changes.</p><p>"You think I would sneer at the changes in your body or a few permanent stretch marks?" Rhys asked, a bit stunned, reading the insecurities hidden behind my words.</p><p>"No! I just...I don't-" I sighed, searching for the accurate way to describe my feelings. A surge of emotions hitting as I sought the right words. "I'm afraid that if I find them ugly, if I hate them, then I'll convince you into hating them too. I know you'll keep telling me I'm beautiful and that I look perfect, but with the way my hormones are wreaking havoc on me, I'm afraid I'll complain so much that you'll begin to see what I see. That, or I'll complain so much that you'll get annoyed with me."</p><p>Rhysand's look of shock disappeared as he cupped my face gently in his hands, his violet eyes besotted as he stared into mine. "Nothing you could ever say or do will change my opinion of you, or how I look at you, Feyre darling," he started softly. "You are my mate, my wife, my equal, and now the mother of my child. You will always be that, and so much more, in my eyes, no matter how unattractive you might <em>feel</em> at a certain moment."</p><p>I smiled as he pressed another kiss to my brow before moving to my lips. I kissed him back eagerly, draping my arms over his shoulders delicately and pouting a bit as he pulled away prematurely.</p><p>"You can't just say perfect things like that and expect me not to shower you with kisses for the rest of the hour," I teased.</p><p>His grin was mischievous as his eyes raked over my body, still clad in my silk dressing gown, lingering on my breasts appreciatively as he took in <em>those</em> changes as well. "I would gladly take the rest of the day allowing us to get lost in each other's arms, darling, but we did get the final word from Thesan in regard to the summit."</p><p>I languished at the loss of our time alone; at the duties that being High Lord and High Lady were currently stealing from our time as a couple but resigned with a nod. "All the final preparations have been made; the date is set?" I asked, staying in his embrace.</p><p>He nodded, "We'll leave tomorrow," he said. His expression grew a bit somber as his hands moved back to my waist, thumbs stroking along the curve of my stomach.</p><p><em>What's wrong?</em> I asked through the bond after a moment of silence passed between us.</p><p>"It's Beron," he replied aloud. "He responded that he will be accompanying Eris this year, along with the rest of his entourage."</p><p>My blood chilled. Along with sending an imploring letter to Tamlin every year, we also sent an invitation to Beron—who always vehemently denied and in his place Eris attended alone. After our secret negotiation with Eris before the war, we often tried to guess when he would call in his favor—to remove his father off the throne so that he may take over as High Lord, but after all these years he still remained ambiguous in those plans. Over the course of the decade, his meetings with Keir decreased, and while we kept a close eye on those visits and made sure to show up every time he did, we were still anxious that he might also be a participant in Keir's coup. Our plan was to confront him at the summit meeting and gather whatever information we could. Beron's attendance now made said confrontation tricky.</p><p>"Do you think Eris is involved?" I asked.</p><p>Rhys shook his head. "When we struck that deal, he wanted our backing when it came time to install him on the throne. As ruthless as he is, a part of me believed him when he asked for an alliance," he explained.</p><p>I chewed on my lip as I contemplated it. As the eldest of the Vanserra sons, Eris was indeed cruel—especially after what had come from his rejection of the marriage alliance with Mor centuries ago. Still, after his aide in the war and his confession of saving Lucien, it was possible he was still an ally.</p><p>"I find it hard to believe he wouldn't know of Beron's plans. He claims ignorance at every summit, but would Beron really keep him in the dark for this long?"</p><p>Rhys frowned, "After the war, and all the convincing Eris did on our behalf for the war-effort, it's possible he's turned to another one of his sons to prepare for the throne once he's gone. It might even be part of whatever negotiations he's in with Keir—to support the son of his choice to take over as High Lord one day."</p><p>I sighed heavily, seeing the truth in his words and nodded, "So how do we question them now?"</p><p>"Beron isn't a stranger to openly sharing his distaste, and something tells me he'll really hate this," he said, motioning to my stomach. "So, we wait for him to dig his own grave. That'll be telling for us, and the others."</p><p>I gave him a wry smirk, "Something tells me that this summit isn't going to be as peaceful or quaint as it has been in the past."</p><p>"Ah Feyre darling, when have any of our summits been quaint?" He regarded with a grin.</p><p>I laughed as I remembered our past summits, which almost always ended with us eating dinner with the other High Lords—along with Vassa, Jurian, and Lucien. We were still wary to refer to Jurian as a friend, but he was most certainly an ally as he served by Queen Vassa's side. Regardless, those dinners always ended up being a rather boisterous, yet enjoyable gathering of friends. It was reassuring to know that while our decade-long tenure of peace was currently in question, at least we could rely on the friendships we had formed with the other courts and the mortals.</p><p>"Good point," I said with a sigh. "I just hope everyone else will support us."</p><p>"You still don't fully realize just how well-liked you are, do you?" Rhys asked with a warm smirk. "The males might not openly admit it, but they greatly admire you, Feyre darling. And from what I've seen between you, Mor, and Viviane, the High Lady of the Winter Court also holds you in high regard."</p><p>I smiled again, trying to hide the blush creeping in on my face. "So, what you're trying to say is; I have nothing to worry about?"</p><p>He nodded, almost mocking in his tone as he tapped the tip of my nose. "Precisely, my love."</p><p>I tried not to laugh, shaking my head at him. "Prick."</p><p>"Right again," he said, this time capturing my lips with his as I laughed in reply.</p><hr/><p>The next day Rhys and I were the last to arrive at the front foyer of the manor. Our usual entourage of Cassian, Azriel, Mor, and Nesta waited for us—along with Amren and Elain to see us off. I had always found the latter a strange pairing, but oddly fitting as well. Elain, always one to refrain from any sort of confrontation, preferred to stay away from our summit meetings. Meanwhile, regardless of her transformation as a true high fae, Amren still possessed that air of anonymity as well as intimidation. Her foreboding nature served us well in the Court of Nightmares and would probably aid in our situation with Beron and Tamlin, but our second-in-command never attended the summits. She often claimed that being surrounded by that many animated personalities would render her so exasperated to the point of a migraine. So, she stayed behind and watched over Velaris—as well as kept a close eye on Elain.</p><p>"It's about time you show up," Cassian teased as Rhys and I approached the group. "That youngling is already slowing you two down."</p><p>"That tends to happen when a pregnant female has her head buried in a toilet for hours," Rhys snarled back, a protective hand coming to rest on the small of my back.</p><p>Cassian's mood shifted to one of guilt and I saw Nesta and Mor turn a scowl of disapproval in his direction. I held my hands up in reassurance, "Ignore him, Cassian, the mating bond is making him grumpy."</p><p>"But you're not well," Azriel said before Cassian could reply, his hazel eyes carefully taking in my current state.</p><p>Unfortunately, it was true. I woke up with another bout of nausea that kept me in our bathing room for the better part of the morning. I was growing weary of these spells of sickness, especially given how seriously Rhys responded to them. Every time I was the least bit unwell, he insisted I remain in bed. Until today, where I determined that we couldn't postpone this meeting regardless of my illness. It was an unfortunate side effect of pregnancy I would have to continue to deal with, and I refused to let it hinder me further.</p><p>"I'm all right. Just a part of the process," I said, hand resting on my stomach.</p><p>They all looked at my hand, unease looming in the air, but I straightened my shoulders regardless.</p><p>"We should go, I don't want us to be the last ones there. The meeting is already going to be delayed until after I have time to recover from winnowing," I said.</p><p>"You and Viviane <em>both</em> need that time," Mor said. "All those haughty males will just have to deal with it."</p><p>Nesta huffed in approval, and Amren crossed her arms with a wicked grin. "I say milk that time for all its worth. Though I've never been, I've heard from all of you how well the High Lord of Dawn accommodates his guests."</p><p>"I've also heard how well everyone attends to a pregnant female. It's so rare among the fae—us, that I'm sure they'll give you anything you need," Elain chimed in, touching my arm delicately.</p><p>I gave them a tired smile and nodded, acknowledging their advice as well as their concern. Rhys had expressed just how weary and pale I looked before we left our rooms, and I was sure they all saw it in me now.</p><p>"And if they don't, we certainly will." Azriel added, more out of reassurance to Elain than to me.</p><p>"By force if we have to," Cassian joked, some of his ease returning.</p><p>"That's very sweet of you all, but I'm <em>fine</em>," I insisted, turning to Rhys.</p><p>He nodded before addressing the others, "Why don't you all go ahead? We'll be right behind you, and we'll join you in the chamber once Feyre's recovered."</p><p>They all nodded in approval before I could protest; Mor taking hold of Cassian's shoulder just as Nesta placed a hand on his arm wordlessly. Azriel disappeared first before Mor winnowed my sister and Cassian away in a whirl of black. I turned back to Rhys incredulously just as Amren led a wary-eyed Elain down the hall that led to her garden, asking something about a new herb she was growing.</p><p>"You didn't have to send them ahead of us," I chided, crossing my arms.</p><p>Rhys's returning smile was impish, "Now who's grumpy?"</p><p>I shoved his shoulder, "I'm serious Rhys! What will the others think?"</p><p>He gripped my arms gently, pulling me back to him. "The others will be placated by Thesan until you and Viviane recover. Once we meet with them all in the chamber, and we reveal your pregnancy, they'll understand," he reassured.</p><p>I chewed on my lip, considering. "You're <em>sure</em> they won't feel slighted by seeing our entourage present without us?"</p><p>Rhys chuckled, "Feyre darling, I bet they're all taking bets on whether you're pregnant or not as the real reason why we're holding the summit this early in the first place." He kissed my temple. "I hope this paranoia is just a temporary symptom of your pregnancy. You are High Lady of the Night Court, you bow to no one," He reminded me.</p><p>I nodded with a withering sigh. "I know. This summit just holds such higher stakes; we're not only announcing my pregnancy to our friends, but we're asking for alliances in a civil war that might break out in our court. It's...nerve wracking."</p><p>"Understandably so, my love." He kissed my forehead again, his violet eyes burning into mine with admiration. <em>But we'll get through this together.</em></p><p>I smiled and closed my eyes as dark talons caressed my mental shields gently, I slipped them down—reveling in this quiet moment, this peace, alone with him in our minds. He pulled back, physically and mentally, and grinned at me.</p><p>"Shields up?" I asked as mine clicked solidly back into place.</p><p>"Always," he purred in my ear as one arm came to wrap around my waist.</p><p>I closed my eyes as I felt the darkening effects of winnowing begin to engulf us. Prior to pregnancy, the feeling was quick and had a subtle impact—making me dizzy for a moment as I adjusted to my new surroundings. Over time, it hardly bothered me at all. Now it felt sluggish, the darkness hitting me with a force that felt as if I were being dragged through thick mud, and when the light of my new surroundings finally came into view my mind was racing and spinning as if I had been twirling on pointe with my eyes closed for several minutes.</p><p>Unfortunately, this harsh vertigo was seemingly getting worse as my pregnancy progressed. I gripped onto Rhys, my nails digging into his arm as I tried to ground myself. I kept my eyes shut tightly as the spinning continued, and I could hardly register the myriad of voices around me. I knew one belonged to Rhys, presumably talking to whatever sentry awaited us at the Dawn Palace. I winced as I felt myself being swept into Rhys's arms and rested my forehead against the crook of his neck as I gulped in a few deep breaths, fighting against the continuous swirling of my surroundings.</p><p>When the world finally stilled and my breaths began to slow and came easily, I heard the gentle timbre of Viviane's voice alongside Rhys's and another male I assumed to be Kallias. I couldn't make out what they were saying at first, but I realized I was slowly gaining consciousness as their voices floated in. I hadn't realized I had fainted until I opened my eyes and saw the intricate details of the ceiling of Thesan's sunstone Palace. Rhys was seated at my side on an impossibly soft lounge, his attention back on me as I muttered incoherently.</p><p>"What was that, my love?" He asked, concern all over his face.</p><p>I blinked and cleared my throat, "I fainted?" I asked, my hoarse voice.</p><p>"Just for a few minutes," came Viviane's voice from beside me.</p><p>She was in a lounge similar to mine, only a few feet across from me. Her mate standing guard beside her as she sat upright. My eyes were immediately drawn to her large, round belly; a pale hand perched delicately atop it as her own weary gaze met mine.</p><p>"Congratulations," she said happily, though I could hear the exhaustion clear in her own voice.</p><p>"Oh, Viviane, look at you," I said, trying to sit up but stopped when I felt another wave of dizziness threaten to hit.</p><p>Rhys eased me back onto the back of the lounge, "Don't try to sit up just yet, Feyre. You need more time."</p><p>I nodded as I readjusted myself against the pillows on the lounge with his help and smiled back at Viviane, "You're huge," I cooed.</p><p>I heard Kallias choke back a snarl, a hand coming to grip the back of Viviane's lounge as she rolled her eyes. "Kallias's male-bonded 'tendencies' assume anytime someone says that to me, I'll be inconsolable," she reasoned.</p><p>Kallias cleared his throat as he met my gaze, "Apologies," he glanced back down at his mate, "But to be fair, the one time I said it, you burst into tears and shut me out of our rooms for hours."</p><p>"That was different, I had only just begun to show, like Feyre." She said, motioning to me.</p><p>I glanced down at my stomach, my hand laid atop it in similar fashion to Viviane. I looked at her belly again, astonished that in only a matter of months my stomach would look the same. When Kallias's eyes trailed to me, Rhys's own unabashed snarl ripped from his throat as darkness seeped into the corners of the room. I gripped his hand to calm him just as Kallias's own guard was thrown up, causing Viviane to heave an impatient sigh.</p><p>"Honestly, you two and your male instincts will be thrown out of this room if you don't put a leash on it," she snapped.</p><p>I heard Kallias mutter an apology just for her ears as Rhys offered a sheepish grin, squeezing my hand reassuringly.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" I asked her, wanting to shift the conversation back into a lighter one.</p><p>She beamed, running a hand along the expanse of her belly, "Honestly? Exhausted doesn't begin to cover how tired I actually am, but in spite of it all," she looked up at Kallias, her icy blue eyes warm. "We're so excited."</p><p>Kallias sat beside her, his hand coming to caress her stomach lovingly. I smiled as Rhys's own hand came to rest on mine.</p><p>"Do you know if it's a boy or girl?" I asked.</p><p>"A girl," Kallias answered, his eyes never leaving Viviane's stomach.</p><p>She beamed, "The midwives told us it was a girl, and they're well known for predicting the gender of our courts younglings. They haven't been wrong in centuries."</p><p>My heart squeezed at the painful memory of the Winter Court's younglings; of Amarantha's cruelty wiping through the many young and innocent lives of their court. I knew Rhys felt the same shame as we watched Viviane and Kallias share a tender moment, marveling over her swollen stomach and their unborn daughter, and I squeezed his hand again.</p><p><em>It's in the past, and they are healing.</em> I said down the bond, reassuring him.</p><p>Rhys squeezed my hand back and gave me a warm smile in thanks. <em>I can't wait to see you like that, round with our child and both of us counting down the days until his arrival</em></p><p>
  <em>Let's hope I'll be as graceful as Viviane.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have no doubt about that, Feyre darling</em>
</p><p>"Do you know what you're having?" Viviane asked with a sly grin, knowing she was cutting into our silent exchange.</p><p>Rhys and I shared another before he announced proudly, "A boy."</p><p>"Congratulations Rhysand," Kallias said, crossing over from his mate's side to shake Rhys's hand.</p><p>Rhys stood to return the gesture, offering his own congratulations as Kallias motioned my mate over to the open archway in the room—a subtle request for a private word. I turned my attention back to Viviane as the two males stepped away.</p><p>"It doesn't get any easier does it?" I warily asked.</p><p>Viviane gave me a sympathetic smile, "I'm afraid not. Just wait until you start to feel your little one move," she indicated to her stomach. "This one leaps at just the sound of Kallias's voice."</p><p>I stared at her stomach in awe, "She can hear you?"</p><p>"So, can yours. In fact, he's been able to hear your voice from the beginning. As he grows, he'll be able to hear other outside voices, especially your mates."</p><p>I looked down at the swell of my stomach, distinctly smaller than Viviane's, but still visible through my gown. "All this time I've been teasing Rhys about talking to him, not realizing he could actually hear <em>me</em> all along," I said in awe.</p><p>She warmed, "Isn't it remarkable?"</p><p>I nodded as I caressed my belly lightly but cast a worried glance back at her when she winced and shifted in her seat. She put up a hand to signal to Kallias, who snapped his head in her direction at the sound of discomfort, that she was alright and huffed in annoyance as she turned back to me.</p><p>"Enjoy those movements while he's small, because once you reach the end stages it's all feet and elbows in your ribs," she complained as she pressed against one with two fingers.</p><p>"Is she moving right now?" I asked, moving upright in my seat to get a better view of her stomach.</p><p>She nodded, "Do you want to feel?"</p><p>I blinked, mouth agape and was on my feet—albeit still slowly and cautiously as I was just starting to feel better, and crossed over to sit beside her on the lounge. I saw Rhys glance at me, posing a question down the bond before I reassured him that I was all right. Viviane guided one of my hands to the side of her stomach and I sucked in a shocked breath at the swift kick I felt on my palm.</p><p>"That was a kick?" I asked, completely stunned.</p><p>Viviane grinned as she nodded, "She's strong, isn't she?"</p><p>"Yes, she is," I said, mesmerized as I moved my hand to a different spot on her belly; a grin breaking out on my face as I felt another kick.</p><p>Viviane adjusted herself again, "She kicks my ribs a lot more lately, now that she's moved into position."</p><p>"What do you mean?" I asked.</p><p>"The midwives say she's moved into the correct birthing position, head down here," she explained, gesturing to her pelvis and then gestured to the apex of her stomach, "And feet up here."</p><p>"And that means you're ready to give birth?" I balked, a little nervous that the High Lady of the Winter Court may very well go into labor during our summit.</p><p>She chuckled, reading the panic in my face, "Technically yes, but the midwives say I still have a couple of weeks to go. The baby is just getting herself ready."</p><p>I nodded in understanding. So far, I hadn't yet considered what labor would be like. Madja had been guiding Rhys and I week by week, sharing with us any warning signs to look out for, but no mentions of labor just yet.</p><p>Viviane must have also read that concern in my eyes and placed a reassuring hand on mine, "Don't worry, you'll learn more about the birthing process as you get further along. When I was at your stage, I was just glad not to be puking my guts up every day."</p><p>I grimaced, "It was bad for you too?"</p><p>She nodded, "There were days I could barely get out of bed!"</p><p>I took comfort at that, glad to know I wasn't the only one to have suffered, "But you feel better now?"</p><p>She shrugged. "In a sense. I'm not as queasy anymore, but now my back and feet ache—understandably so," she said, motioning to her stomach again.</p><p>I smiled empathetically, "Does Kallias never leave your side?" I asked, wondering if their mating bond was as sensitive as Rhys's and mine.</p><p>She laughed, "Not for a moment. Especially now that my time is near."</p><p>"I'm surprised he's even talking to Rhys right now," I said, gesturing to the two males standing across from one another underneath the intricate open arched window.</p><p>"Kallias is probably warning him of what to expect," Viviane said as she followed my gaze.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>She sighed, weary. "Our midwives informed us of what the labor process will be like once the time really comes. Not only about the pains and the birth itself, but how...delicate the mating bond is. Females become withdrawn, reserved, as our bodies naturally prepare for the undertaking it will face in order to give birth. Males, on the other hand, grow even more protective if you can believe it; not as aggressive as they are when the bond is new...but more mindful and vigilant. They can apparently sense when their mate is about to go into labor and feel the need to do everything in their power to make sure she is comfortable for that moment."</p><p>I watched Rhys and Kallias as she explained, noting the grim line on Rhys's face as Kallias probably went into more depth of what he would experience as a mated male. "Do you think you're getting closer to that time?" I asked.</p><p>She shrugged again, "Not yet. As Kallias likes to put it, even this far along I'm as feisty as ever," she laughed lightly and caressed her stomach. "I can tell it worries him though. Bringing about a youngling isn't easy, and I can tell he's anxious to see me in pain."</p><p>I frowned, "Will it be terrible?"</p><p>She smiled sheepishly, "I'm not sure yet, but I can't imagine it'll be pleasant. But...everyone tells me it's worth it, especially once we see our babies...nothing else is supposed to matter."</p><p>The dreamy look in her eyes reassured me and I caressed my own stomach lightly. <em>I can't wait to meet you.</em></p><p><em>Neither can I</em>. Rhys said through the bond, and I met his gaze as we both exchanged a quick smile before returning to our conversations.</p><p>As I kept stroking the gentle swell of my stomach, I couldn't help but wonder if our son could hear us through our bond—if he didn't already have both of his parents voices fully memorized.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn't take much longer for Viviane and I to fully recover after Rhys and I arrived. The sentry who had led Rhys, and Kallias, to the lounging chamber had also informed his High Lord of our arrival. Thesan, always the gracious host at these summits, sent a handful of servants to attend Viviane and I—much to our mates' chagrin. The first time a maid had tried to bring us some tea, the males had bared their teeth and nearly sent the poor female running. Viviane and I quickly quelled their hostile mated instincts and after a full hour of rest, we were ready to join the other High Lords, as well as our allies in the Mortal Lands, in the meeting chamber.</p><p>Kallias and Viviane insisted they go ahead of us, instead of the four of us entering together; since Rhys and I had been the ones to call the summit early, they believed we should be the last to enter—so that we may announce our news, accept congratulations, and transition into the more solemn proceedings of our dispatch.</p><p>Rhys and I walked to the meeting chamber without the need of an escort; after a decade of summit's every spring, we knew our way around the High Lord of Dawn's palace. I chewed on my lip as we walked through the sun-stone halls, but as we grew closer Rhys stopped me in our path.</p><p>"You bow to no one." He reminded me, his violet eyes fierce as he adjusted the crown atop my head, and then cupped my face in his hands.</p><p>I nodded with a warm smile, taking a steadying breath as my hands came to rest on my stomach, covered by another maternity gown that Rhys had pulled from the collection his mother had made for me. This time it was made of multiple layers of a sparkling royal blue sheer voile fabric with capped lace sleeves, the skirts brushing along the floor delicately and a beautifully pleated sash resting just above the apex of my new rounded belly. There would certainly be no second guessing my condition, if my scent wasn't already indication enough.</p><p>After a couple more calming breaths, I threw my shoulders back and met Rhys's gaze, "I'm ready."</p><p>He grinned mischievously and placed a hand on the small of my back before leading me through the chamber doors, which was opened for us by sentries on the other side. I didn't falter as we entered the room, holding my chin up as everyone's eyes turned to me and Rhys. Before I could take in anyone's stare, I heard an excited gasp and turned to meet the striking blue eyes of Vassa, who rushed over to me and took my hands in hers.</p><p>"I knew it, I knew it!" She declared excitedly before moving a hand to my stomach, cooing at it happily.</p><p>I felt Rhys tense beside me, a low growl coming from deep in his throat, but the Mortal Queen didn't blunder. She had been around us long enough to learn that fae males were solicitous with their mates—in fact, being in a room surrounded by powerful beings had never intimidated her. She alone was just as powerful a being in her firebird form; a spell left unbroken, despite mine <em>and</em> Helion's best efforts.</p><p>"Oh congratulations! I'm so happy for you, and I can't believe it! There are <em>two</em> pregnant faeries in this room," she said proudly. "That is a rarity, isn't it?"</p><p>"Apparently not rare enough," came a gruff scoff.</p><p>It was then that I noticed Beron in the room, standing with his usual entourage of sons, and Eris off to the side—who quickly chided his father in the next breath.</p><p>"Certainly, you don't mean that Father. Afterall, Mother gave you plenty of sons." He said smoothly, serving Rhys and I a meaningful look as my mate moved closer to me.</p><p>He only scoffed again with a roll of his eyes, throwing back whatever drink he had in his hand.</p><p>"Well it looks like we all won this bet," came Helion's honeyed voice as he drifted over to Rhys and me.</p><p>I was grateful for the quick shift in conversation but had to send Rhys words of reassurance down the bond as his incensed gaze lingered on the High Lord of Autumn. He calmed as Helion approached his side, knowing that would be wiser than drawing up to his pregnant mate first.</p><p>"Though I'll admit, it wasn't much of a bet since no one offered any opposition," he said as he shook Rhys's hand in congratulations.</p><p>"I was on the fence for a bit, until Kallias and Viviane entered the room and informed us that you two would be along," Tarquin admitted, Cressida—his cousin and Princess of Adriata, trailing at his side as they met with the rest of us.</p><p>He shook Rhys's hand next and turned to me, nodding with a warm smile. "You have my congratulations," he said.</p><p>Cressida grinned as she chimed in. "A youngling is indeed a blessing, I'm so excited for you both." She threw her arms around me in an embrace, causing Rhys to stiffen again as he made room for her, but he easily relaxed a beat later.</p><p>"Thank you both," I said before pulling back and nodding in acknowledgement at Helion as well.</p><p>"Thank you too, Helion, though I can't believe you were the one to come up with the bet."</p><p>"It was Mor's idea," Cassian jumped in. He, Azriel, Mor and Nesta had silently made their way over to us during the brief exchange with Beron; all placing themselves at a safe distance, just in case.</p><p>"Only because Helion wouldn't stop prodding me for information," Mor said with a roll of her eyes.</p><p>I saw Helion waggle a mischievous brow at her. "To be fair, I tried asking our host first, but he wouldn't budge," he said, throwing a look at Thesan.</p><p>The High Lord of Dawn shrugged, "Rhysand wrote to me in confidence, and I was already providing a space for Viviane to recover as well."</p><p>"Thank you for that," Kallias said, his hand also placed on his mate's back. Though with her center of gravity skewed thanks to her enormous belly, it seemed he was helping hold her up.</p><p>"Yes, I haven't had the chance to thank you yet. I went unconscious after we got here, and Kallias had to carry me to the room," Viviane offered sheepishly.</p><p>"I heard you weren't the only one," Thesan said, glancing at me.</p><p>I shrugged, "Creating a life takes its toll."</p><p>"Indeed, it does, though I'm glad you two are both okay now." He said, more so looking for reassurance that we were in fact faring better than we had upon our initial arrival.</p><p>I nodded, but before I could thank him, Beron huffed in exasperation. We all turned our attention to him as he crossed his arms over his chest. I also took note of Tamlin standing with one of his sentries—Hart, I remembered, on the other end of the reflection pool in the center of the room.</p><p>"Let's drop the niceties, shall we, and get to the root of this meeting?" the older male scowled, his terse gaze fixed on me. Rhys, along with Azriel and Cassian, shifted on his feet.</p><p>"You called us all here to announce a pregnancy? Well let me be the first of the rest of these fools to offer my objection," Beron growled.</p><p>I put a hand on my stomach protectively, "What a relief that we aren't seeking anyone's <em>approval</em>, Beron." I interjected, returning his glare with my own.</p><p>"You should be, considering the child you bear has the potential to inherit a kernel of my power. Of<em> all</em> our powers," He snarled.</p><p>My blood ran cold as he voiced my exact fears; the anxiety that the other High Lords wouldn't welcome the news of my child once they realized a drop of their abilities could pass onto him. I couldn't look at their reaction as Rhys pulled me closer to his side; his hand returning to the small of my back, bolstering me.</p><p>"We have no way of knowing if our child will inherit <em>Feyre's</em> powers," Rhys said smoothly, though his violet eyes simmered with a cool rage—those stars that normally sparkled now smoldered.</p><p>"Just like I had no way of knowing I would pass any of my power over during her resurrection. I won't make that mistake again," Beron spat.</p><p>"May I remind you, again, that you <em>offered</em> that kernel of power? I didn't take it by force, they are mine, and if my child should inherit them, then I will teach him to wield them as I see fit." I said fiercely, my voice as unwavering as I hoped my eyes were.</p><p>Though the words were directed at the High Lord of Autumn, I made sure to emphasize them enough for the others, in case there were any doubts on their end as well.</p><p>"We've been through this before," Thesan said, coming to stand at my other side, "When we all agreed to fight alongside them in the war. Surely, you can get past the chance of a youngling inheriting some of your powers?"</p><p>I nodded gratefully at Thesan, who returned it and took another step forward as my heart pounded at the approval in his words.</p><p>"I certainly can," Tarquin offered, and I saw Cressida nod as well, both aligning themselves with where Thesan stood.</p><p>Helion casually strolled over, an apathetic shrug to his shoulders. "I would be impressed to see if the child inherits any healing abilities. Perhaps the youngling could be the one to break the Mortal Queen's curse, since its mother nor I can seem to," he said with a wink at me and then at Vassa, who had fallen in step beside Mor—flanked behind Rhysand and I, along with the others.</p><p>It was then that I realized they had formed a line in front of me, standing in the space between Beron and me. A show of their allegiance, and my heart swelled as my eyes burned in gratitude.</p><p><em>Like I said, my love, you are very well-liked. Perhaps even loved.</em> Rhys said through the bond, squeezing my hip lightly.</p><p>Kallias moved to stand beside Rhys and me, holding onto Viviane's hand. "It would be interesting to see if our children would wield the same power. Perhaps there would be some healthy competition between them," he said.</p><p>Viviane smirked, "You mean a rivalry."</p><p>"You're all mad!" Beron snapped. He turned to Tamlin, who remained quiet, keeping his distance from the rest of us.</p><p>"You approve of all this?" he asked him.</p><p>I held my breath as Tamlin met my gaze, his eyes glancing between Rhys and me, then to my stomach. He was quiet for a few beats before turning back to Beron.</p><p>"I agreed to come and hear them out, not to hold some kind of debate over their child," He said simply.</p><p>Not necessarily a show of allegiance, but I was glad he wasn't snarling at me as he had when I confronted him at the Spring Court.</p><p>"I will not stand for it," Beron said, pure fury laced in his acrid tone. "It was one thing to agree to fight alongside one another in the war, but I never came to terms with you possessing my power," A sneer over at the other High Lords, "Nor will I. And neither will I accept some kind of Night Court abomination to-" his words were cut off as the tether that held back Azriel and Cassian snapped.</p><p>In a flash of wings, shadows and siphons flickering, the two Illyrians appeared before him—Cassian's fist landing on Beron's jaw as Azriel then caught him by his collar, snatching him up to meet his snarl.</p><p>"You will watch how you talk to my High Lady and how you refer to the youngling she carries, the heir to the Night Court." Azriel growled, his face inches from Beron's menacingly before he let go, causing the older male to land straight on his ass.</p><p>I squared my shoulders as Rhys's own preternatural darkness swirled in his shadows, our shadows, advancing a step forward while Beron shot back onto his feet—the other sons he brought along with him flanking at his sides. Eris then interjected, subtly moving between his father and Rhys.</p><p>"Father, we've had over a decade of peace since the war. Surely, we shouldn't break our alliance now over the chance that this youngling might inherit some of our courts power," He suggested.</p><p>"And what do you propose we do then, if he <em>does</em> inherit my power?" Beron snarled in reply.</p><p>Eris merely shrugged, eyes briefly glancing over to where Lucien stood before meeting his father again. "He wouldn't be the first one not of our bloodline to do so."</p><p>Before I could stop it, my jaw dropped, but I quickly covered my mouth—Rhys stiffened.</p><p><em>Did he just say what I think he said?</em> Rhys asked through the bond.</p><p><em>How did he know?</em> I questioned back, my eyes meeting his as the atmosphere in the room thickened.</p><p>Beron went rigid at his son's words, a confused look exchanged by his sons standing behind him.</p><p>"W-What...what are you talking about?" Lucien asked, breaking the silence that had befallen us.</p><p>My heart squeezed at Lucien's bewildered tone. He must have noticed Eris's look before he said the cursed words. I quickly scanned the room and noticed the Lady of the Autumn Court wasn't present—perhaps Eris's doing, and I wondered if he had actually planned to reveal his mother's centuries old secret. I hesitated as I turned my gaze over to the High Lord of Day and saw that the look on his face was that of confusion, though I saw the silent contention simmering in his eyes.</p><p><em>Don't say a word. Please.</em> Rhys warned, subtly returning to my side—shielding me, and I saw Kallias do the same with Viviane. I wanted to protest, but with my condition hindering my powers, I knew there wasn't much I could do should things take a true turn for the worse.</p><p>"What are you <em>talking</em> about?" Lucien asked again, his voice brusque as he approached his eldest brother.</p><p>"Don't you say another word, Eris." Beron barked, finally snapping out of his shock.</p><p>Eris shrugged again, offering Lucien a half-hearted empathetic look. "Haven't you ever wondered why you stood apart from the rest of us?" He asked, <em>un</em>sympathetic.</p><p>"That's enough!" Beron growled again, drawing closer.</p><p>His movement caused Rhys and Kallias both to step in front of me and Viviane, their mated instincts calling them into action at the rising tension in the room. I stepped beside Viviane, who was far more vulnerable in her condition than my own.</p><p>Thesan cleared his throat, "Perhaps we should call it for the day and adjourn tomorrow morning," he offered.</p><p>"No," Beron spat, turning to Thesan and addressing the other High Lords, "If none of you will side with me, then perhaps I should take my power back on my own." He turned a vicious gaze to me, causing a feral and deep snarl from Rhysand's throat; his wings flaring wide as Cassian and Azriel appeared at his side—siphons glowing.</p><p>But it was Kallias who intervened on our behalf before Rhys could move. "Go back to the Autumn Court, Beron. If you're this adamantly opposed, then cut your ties and return to your homeland. While you still can," he said this with narrowed iced eyes.</p><p>"You dare threaten me?" Beron growled, baring his teeth.</p><p>Kallias's own menacing scowl matched the elder male, resolute. "You threaten our tenure of peace now and seeing as the rest of us will continue to ally with the Night Court, you are no longer welcome here."</p><p>Beron only continued to glare at the High Lord of Winter, unyielding as his eyes raked over the others. "You're all idiots. That child will be the very downfall of our courts, possessing each of our powers will only empower the Night Court," he threw a fervent snarl at me. "What's stopping them from using her and the child's power to their advantage? They could very well incite a new war, demolishing us-"</p><p>His speech was cut short as Azriel lunged once again. I saw truth-teller flash in his hands a second later and before I could open my mouth to protest, Beron froze as Cassian hauled him up—about to strike. Everyone turned to Rhysand, knowing he had a vice on the male's mind. His formidable gaze was honed on said male, violet eyes clouded as darkness seeped from his shadow and into the corners of the room.</p><p>I placed a gentle hand on his tense shoulder and saw the tightness in his jaw. I could see the struggle to hold himself back, fighting hard not to unleash himself on Beron. I caressed his mental shields, begging him to let me in—to soothe him and the instincts he wrestled with.</p><p><em>We're safe.</em> I reminded him when he wouldn't let his guard down for me. <em>No one is going to let him hurt me. You won't let him hurt me, or the baby. We're </em>safe<em>, Rhysand.</em></p><p>I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch as he eased whatever grip he held over Beron, though not entirely. The elder male gulped in air, breathing heavily as I realized Rhys had been choking the breath from within him. Cassian and Azriel each had an arm seized in their hands, waiting for a command from either me or Rhys.</p><p>"Let him go," I said.</p><p>They obeyed, but Rhys kept him detained. Eris cleared his throat, "I'll take my father and brothers back to the Autumn Court. If you'll still have me, I'll return alone tomorrow for the remainder of this summit. I've been attending these meetings for the last decade, and unlike my father," a grim glance at him, "I would like to uphold my end of the alliance."</p><p>I was initially surprised at his words, but a moment later I realized that this would be the start of his campaign to take over as High Lord of the Autumn Court.</p><p><em>We'll support it. We have to.</em> Rhys said down the bond, and though his shoulders were still taut, and voice laced with anger, I knew he was right. I squeezed the hand I had on his shoulder in silent agreement.</p><p>I looked at the other High Lords, their entourages; at Vassa—with Jurian at her side, and at Lucien. All except him and Tamlin were poised at our sides, and it was then I realized they were waiting for our approval. This was <em>our</em> battle, and although they were ready to defend us; pounce if need be, they knew it was ultimately our decision.</p><p>I met Eris's amber eyes, narrowing mine as I stepped forward; standing opposite of him and looked over to where Beron stood, still fixed to his spot, his eyes raging.</p><p>"We'll allow it, but if you end up sharing your father's ideas, then the rest of us won't hesitate to convene and plot <em>your</em> downfall." I met Beron's stare again as I said the last of my sentence, making it clear who the threat was aimed at.</p><p>Rhys, Thesan, Tarquin, Helion, Kallias, and now even <em>Tamlin </em>stepped in behind me—Viviane and Cressida coming to stand at either side of me. All of us representing our courts, our commitment to one another.</p><p>"We are heralding in a new era, Beron," Viviane said as she faced the High Lord with me. "These younglings are being born into Prythian courts standing in alliance with one another, something that it hasn't been in centuries. We <em>all</em> urge you to reconsider."</p><p>My heart squeezed at her effort to appeal to Beron, knowing that he was already a pawn in the coup against our court. His actions thus far confirmed our earlier suspicions, but once he was gone then Rhys and I would be able to warn them all.</p><p>I felt Rhys's hand come to rest on my hip, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Kallias approach Viviane's side as well. The other High Lords, our mortal allies, and all of our entourages flanking behind us. I reached down to squeeze Rhys's hand, Viviane doing the same with Kallias, but I didn't get the chance to fully notice their exchange. In the second Rhys had released his hold on Beron's mind, I heard him mutter under his breath, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw that he shot out an arm—summoning a ball of fire directed straight for me and Viviane.</p><p>He was quick; too quick for anyone to register. All I could manage was a gasp, my eyes wide with terror as my surroundings seemed to slow, and that ball of fire hit an invisible force only inches away from our faces. It wasn't until after the last of the flames dissipated that I realized my hand had shot out in front of me as well—creating a shield of hardened air I hadn't summoned in <em>years</em>. My other hand trembled at my side, just shy of touching Viviane's large belly.</p><p>I was gasping for air, trembling and my ears roared with the sound of my blood rushing to my head. I barely noticed that the room around me had exploded into some kind of action as I dropped my guard. My ears continued ringing, my eyes stung, and the only thing I could hear was the muffled sound of my own panicked breathing—chaos continuing to erupt around me. I briefly saw wings, siphons, and Rhys's face before I noticed Beron hit the ground. No one had rushed to his aide.</p><p>He tried to kill me. Us. My baby. Viviane and her baby girl. My baby boy. <em>My son</em>.</p><p>
  <em>I'm not safe.I'm not safe.I'm not safe.</em>
</p><p>I hadn't realized my eyes were closed until I felt gentle hands on either side of my face. Warm hands. Safe hands.</p><p><em>You are safe. You're okay, Feyre. </em>Rhys pleaded with me, whether through the bond or aloud, or both.</p><p>Then, I heard the sound of sobbing, gulping breaths. My ears slowly stopped ringing and I realized it was my own panicked sobs I heard.</p><p>"Look at me, Feyre." A gentle command, Rhysand.</p><p>I finally opened my eyes, meeting the silver-lined violet eyes of my mate. Breathing became easier and I managed to stop whimpering; instead gripping his arms, his hands still holding either side of my face. I still couldn't register my surroundings, nor the others, but I heard their voices. The harsh timbre of the males seemed to be giving commands, checking in with one another; the females sounding more soothing as they did the same. Still, I never tore my eyes from Rhys's—not until I could breathe again.</p><p>Slowly, the room returned, and I dropped my head to Rhys's shoulder—overwhelmed and exhausted at the effort it took to summon my shield. I let him scoop me up as he crossed over to a lounge, but my eyes slipped shut as I allowed myself to fall unconscious in his arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Rhysand</em>
</p><p>I felt Feyre go limp in my arms, her mind going quiet from the panicked thoughts that had just consumed her. For an alarming second my heart squeezed as I looked down—her name a faint question on my lips before I saw her chest rise and fall slowly. I nearly collapsed in relief as I laid her on the lounge at the other end of the reflection pool, far away enough from the others and where Kallias had also carried away a stunned Viviane. I felt Mor and Nesta on my heels, Kallias's own entourage filing over to his side to check on their High Lady, but I couldn't tear my focus from my mate.</p><p>I brushed a few loose strands of hair from her face, skin clammy to the touch and I took the crown from atop her head to allow her to rest easier. I handed it off to Mor and turned my wrist—summoning a cool washcloth to lay across her forehead; a faint gasp escaping past her lips and a small wince on her face from the sensation. There was a hum in my ears as I watched the pattern of her breathing, making sure there was nothing amiss before I flared my wings out wide and used them to enclose us in privacy as I placed a hand on her stomach gently. I closed my eyes as I tugged on the bond carefully, waiting for some kind of signal from either her or my son—that gentle flutter that I felt every so often from him. Since he was conceived, I had felt that flutter every time Feyre did residing in my core. At first it had been a muted pulse, not nearly as strong as Feyre had described it to me at the beginning stages of her pregnancy—before either of us realized it, but now that she was further along it was just as ardent as the bond between her and I.</p><p>I felt my eyes burn, the tightness in my throat alleviating when I felt the glimmer in return. He was safe; Feyre was safe, and the sense of ease that flooded through me was brief as I tucked my wings back in and turned toward the crowd of voices across the reflection pool—at the male who remained unconscious on the ground. In the split second that followed Feyre shielding his attack, before the last of the flames had been snuffed out, I gripped a hold of his mind, rendering him into a comatose state—for the time being. It took every ounce of restraint not to mist him on the spot. Instead, I shifted my attention to my mate as the beginnings of her panic began to swirl in her mind.</p><p>She had begged for me during her panic; though unintentionally, she shouted all her thoughts down the bond as they came, the perfectly adamant mental shields she had built over the decade thrown down in a cry for help. I couldn't yet shake the terror in her blue-grey eyes as I carefully seized her arms the second she dropped her shield—terror I hadn't seen in well over a decade. I called to her, down the bond and aloud, and after an agonizing minute she managed to hear me—to see me, and finally calmed. But even as she worked to compose herself, her beautiful eyes were dull as she came back to me. That image of her horror-stricken wide eyes and of her trembling lips sobbing was burned into my memory, and I felt that delayed rage resurface. Knowing that both my mate and child were now out of harm's way meant I could kill Beron—alliance be damned.</p><p>The others must have felt the rise in my preternatural instincts; their heads turning to stare as I stood from Feyre's side and began to advance towards the High Lord of Autumn. It was Cassian who held me back before I could get any closer, his hands on my shoulders as I turned my murderous gaze from Beron to my brother.</p><p>"Think about this for a second, Rhysand." He managed to grind out through gritted teeth; it was then that I noticed his siphons flickered, realizing he was using them to keep me at bay.</p><p>"He attacked Feyre <em>and</em> my child!" I roared back.</p><p>"Believe me, I want the bastard dead too." Cassian growled, hazel eyes briefly glancing over to where Mor and Nesta now shielded my unconscious mate.</p><p>"Let us kill him." I heard Kallias snarl, and I finally noticed Azriel holding the High Lord of Winter back-using an equal amount of force as it took Cassian to do for me.</p><p>"Not yet," Azriel said-eerily calm, despite his own cobalt siphons flickering.</p><p>The room was consumed in shadows of cold darkness. Ice slowly climbed up the sun-stone pillars as my shadows grew darker, swirling above the floors. I saw the other High Lords and their entourages shift uncomfortably as they exchanged looks. They had without a doubt sided with us before, but now stood on the fence of whether or not now was the right time to move on the Autumn Court. I saw them look in Feyre's direction, wanting their own reassurance that she was unharmed—but their stares only made my anger grow hotter and I attempted to shove Cassian out of my way.</p><p>He stood firm, and I saw Azriel do the same against Kallias. Both of us with mates in the delicate position of carrying our offspring—our heirs. Both of them High Lady and respected as such at these summits and throughout Prythian. I knew the other High Lords, and even our Mortal allies, wanted justice for them.</p><p>A feral growl rose from my throat when Eris took a step forward, my teeth bared when he held up his hands in defense.</p><p>"I know what wrong my father just committed, and while I don't defend his actions and would delight in watching you both rip him to shreds, I only oppose it due to the repercussions bringing my dead father back would cause in our court. Especially among the armies," he explained.</p><p>Though he meant for everyone to hear it, his eyes met strictly with mine. "We certainly wouldn't want to encourage them to start a war by turning my father into a martyr."</p><p>I didn't have to think twice in order to understand his meaning. If Beron were to turn up dead now, his armies wouldn't hesitate to turn to Keir and Kallon in retaliation—joining their ranks in the coup that threatened us. That reminder was akin to being dunked into the icy riverbanks of the Illyrian mountains; my all-consuming rage momentarily quelled as I recalled the reason behind the summit meeting today. I had told Feyre that the older male would expose his own treacherous ways, and there was certainly no questioning his motives, or who he aligned with, now.</p><p>I glanced at Cassian, and saw the same message conveyed in his eyes. He had come to realize it before I could, and I knew it was the only reason why he and Azriel held us back now. I returned my dark glare at Eris, and after a few tense seconds, I reluctantly took a step back. Kallias must have known I would explain my reasoning once they left; perhaps he had already picked up on some hint, because he then shoved out of Azriel's grasp. His eyes narrowed at the unconscious High Lord of Autumn, then at his eldest son, and huffed before turning back in the direction of his mate.</p><p>Viviane only watched us with frightened, tearful eyes. Though a different shade from my mates, the blue in her eyes was enough to make my stomach lurch at the reminder of the same fear that had been in Feyre's.</p><p>"I won't kill him. <em>Yet</em>," I finally said before I turned on my heels to return to my mate's side.</p><p>I heard the other High Lords murmur a reluctant agreement; all except for Tamlin. Though I had been surprised to see him line up with the rest of us against Beron, he remained quiet throughout the events that had just unfolded. He now stood apart from us once again, his sentry at his side, but I saw that his gaze was fixed on Feyre. I managed to bite back a snarl as I walked past him and kneeled beside her sleeping form on the lounge; a small frown on her lips as she remained unconscious.</p><p>I hadn't realized Eris winnowed his father and brothers away until Thesan cleared his throat.</p><p>"I'll have my servants prepare your rooms," he said to both Kallias and me before turning to a sentry and delivering orders.</p><p>I said nothing as I moved to sit beside Feyre, holding her hand as I turned to face the grim expressions of our allies—our friends.</p><p>"Rest assured Rhysand, I do not see your youngling's potential as a threat." Helion reassured with a nod of his head, and for a brief second, I saw him glance over at Lucien.</p><p>He stood with Vassa and Jurian at his side, who were both visibly relieved now that the remainder of the Autumn Court had left. His eyes were fixed on the ground, his mechanical one whirred to a point while the other appeared lost. I had almost forgotten Eris's earlier revelation, and I felt a margin of sympathy for him and the thoughts he must've struggled with now.</p><p>"You and Feyre also have nothing to fear from us," Tarquin echoed.</p><p>"Is she okay?" Cressida asked, taking a hesitant step forward.</p><p>I tried not to snap at her in return, my mated instincts still raw. "She's all right," I answered.</p><p>"And the youngling?" Thesan asked.</p><p>I nodded, and we all turned at the sound of Viviane bursting into tears. A delicate hand covered her sobs as Kallias gathered her in his arms, working to reassure her, and I saw Mor step closer, offering more comforting and soothing words—albeit cautiously as to not set off Kallias's own rage.</p><p>He instead turned a look at Thesan, his eyes almost desperate with his need to take his mate away to the safety of their own privacy. Our host nodded in understanding before summoning a sentry to escort them. Kallias easily carried his mate in his arms, her face hidden away in his neck as he left the room without another word.</p><p>I snapped my head back to Feyre as I heard a small whimper come from her throat; my heart nearly stopping as her frown deepened, but her eyes remained closed. I focused in on our bond and could see a nightmare beginning to churn in her mind. I hadn't realized Cassian and Azriel edged closer with Mor, all snapping to attention at their High Lady. Even Nesta neared, eyes fixed on Feyre.</p><p>Thesan took a careful step towards us, but before he could offer his sentry to escort us to our rooms, I lifted Feyre from the lounge and held her close as I walked out. I quickly sent soothing words of reassurance down the bond, desperate to erase the nightmarish images forming in her mind. I hardly noticed the sentry that kept a safe distance behind, only there to open the door to our rooms for me. I brought her over to the bed and laid her down gently, brushing her hair back again as I continued to murmur words of comfort. With her mental shields still down, I sent images of Velaris to her dreams—of our nighttime walks along the Sidra, of the Rainbow and her studio with Ressina. Of the music I had once sent to her while imprisoned and that played often during our walks.</p><p>After an agonizing few minutes, she relaxed; the wrinkles on her forehead smoothing out and her lips parting lightly as the soft whimpers ceased. I pressed my brow against hers, slipping my eyes shut as I moved to lay beside her. I wrapped her in my arms, and she welcomed the embrace, even in her sleep. I continued watching her breaths, unable to help myself as I held her close. But as I gazed at her now peaceful face, I couldn't fight the feelings of guilt roiling in my gut. I pressed my lips together in a thin line as I recalled the moment I had let go of my control on Beron the first time. I had been too trusting, something that went against all of my instincts as a mated male expecting a youngling—and it had cost my mate her strength, and endangered not only her life, but our child's as well.</p><p>Cauldron damn me, I would never let that happen again.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Feyre</em>
</p><p>I felt almost ethereal—light, as I opened my eyes; reality slowly returning to me as I stared out the balcony across the room. The ornate columns and balcony railing made of sunstone were illuminated in an amber hue, set aglow by the setting sun. I breathed out an easy sigh as the breeze floated in from outside, my eyes glazed over as I continued to stare at the sky—until, slowly, the memories of where I was and what had happened came flooding back.</p><p>I gasped and lurched forward in the bed I laid on, clutching at my stomach as a sharp pain in my side pulsed—caused by my abrupt movement.</p><p>"It's okay Feyre, you're safe," came Mor's soothing tone as she appeared at my side.</p><p>I hadn't realized she was in the room with me and I stared at her, my eyes wide. "Rhys…?" I asked.</p><p>She sat beside me, "He went to the kitchens to get you both some food. The others are having dinner together, but we all thought it best that you and Viviane continue to rest." She explained, a hand touching my arm gently.</p><p>I nodded but couldn't relax just yet. "Is she okay? And the baby?"</p><p>"Yes, thank the Mother. She was a little shaken up, but she and her baby are just fine." She reassured again, but then her other hand came to rest over mine—still clutching my stomach.</p><p>"How are <em>you</em> feeling?" By her tone, I could tell she worried about my baby as well.</p><p>I did a quick assessment as the tension finally left my body and I relaxed. Aside from a lingering headache most likely caused from the expulsion of my powers, I was unharmed—and so was my son.</p><p>"We're okay," I said with another nod and sighed. "Although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little shaken up myself…"</p><p>She frowned, "Oh Feyre, I'm so sorry." She wrapped me in a careful embrace, and I held her back.</p><p>I was relieved to see that she was okay, but I wondered if the others were too after Beron's attack. I tried not to shudder at the memory and pulled back to look at her once again.</p><p>"I'm all right Mor," I looked around the room to see if we weren't the only two. "Where are the others?"</p><p>"They're all fine Feyre. It's <em>you</em> we were worried about. You who saved yourself, Viviane and the babies," she said.</p><p>I looked down at my stomach, "It just...happened, and I reacted on instinct. I didn't even realize I summoned my shield until after it was over." I paused before adding, "Is Beron...?"</p><p>Mor shook her head, "Unfortunately, still alive. Eris reminded us what was at stake if the soldiers of the Autumn Court learned of their High Lord's untimely, and unexpected, death."</p><p>I gulped as I came to the same realization. If Rhys had decided to kill him on the spot, there would've been motive enough to incite the coup we were desperately trying to prevent.</p><p>Mor squeezed my shoulder gently, a sad smile on her beautiful face. "I'm sorry Feyre...about all of this. About my father, and this coup. About all this stress it's caused, especially now," she said, placing her hands over mine as they held the mound of my stomach.</p><p>"You have nothing to be sorry for, Mor. Your father's actions aren't your responsibility," I said, trying to put her at ease. "And you shouldn't let it weigh on your shoulders either."</p><p>Her returning smile was a little brighter than before, but I saw the lingering guilt simmering in her warm brown eyes. A dreamer born into the court of nightmares, haunted by the continued destructive actions of the male she once called her father—it seemed he would never stop trying to destroy her happiness or of those whom she loved. I squeezed her hands comfortingly, and we both looked up as the door opened and Rhys stepped through with a tray of covered food. Our eyes met and I felt myself melt with solace, his demeanor changing as well as he set the tray aside and wrapped me in a tight embrace before I could even move from my place on the bed. Mor moved aside and I heard her leave the room as I buried my face in my mate's neck, breathing in his scent as ease continued to wash over me.</p><p>I felt his arms slide under my legs, moving me from the bed and onto his lap as he shifted his weight under me. I pulled back to rest my brow against his, meeting his violet eyes that sparkling with the same remorse I saw in Mor's.</p><p>I touched his cheek gently, "I'm okay." I took one of his hands to rest on my stomach, "<em>We're</em> okay."</p><p>Rhys only shook his head, brow crumpling with guilt as he squeezed his eyes shut, pulling me closer. "I shouldn't have let my guard down. Not for a second."</p><p>"You couldn't have known, Rhysand. None of us saw that coming."</p><p>"I should have," he croaked. His voice hoarse as he buried his nose into my collarbone, his hand coming to caress my stomach lightly.</p><p>I pressed a lingering kiss to his temple. "Well even pregnant, I was able to take care of myself," I attempted lightheartedly.</p><p>"I had no doubt about that, but while pregnant you shouldn't <em>have</em> to. Especially given how drained you get after using your powers," he explained with a frown.</p><p>I was about to protest that I was fine regardless, but my stomach growled fiercely, and I sighed. Perhaps it was a sign of protest from my son—agreeing with his father. This turned a switch in Rhys, and he stood, setting me back on the bed as he grabbed the full tray of food he had brought from the kitchens. Placing it on the space before me, I raised my brow as he uncovered extravagant plates of rich and well-seasoned food.</p><p>"Did you raid Thesan's kitchen?" I joked, not hesitating to grab the first thing I saw—a warm biscuit slit with a pad of butter on the top.</p><p>"Actually, Feyre darling, the cooks already had this display out. I just took the liberty of bringing it all to you." He said, sitting beside me as I took a bite.</p><p>I could see some of his ease beginning to return as he watched me eat, and I grinned back. "You should have left some for the others, you know," I teased.</p><p>"If you must know, smartass, this was all actually for you." He retorted playfully, swiping a finger down my nose.</p><p>"Thesan had all this prepared for me?" I asked, finishing off the biscuit.</p><p>Rhys nodded, "And one for Viviane as well." His expression grew a bit darker as a memory I couldn't see flashed behind his violet eyes. "You both went through a scare today, and he isn't the only one of us to feel remorse."</p><p>I frowned and reached to grab hold of his hand, squeezing it to reassure him. "Like I just told Mor, you can't blame yourself for the actions of another male. We came here to confront him, and we didn't anticipate <em>this</em> reaction."</p><p>He conceded with a deep sigh, but I saw the self-condemnation remain.</p><p><em>Please don't blame yourself</em>, I said through the bond, crawling closer to him on the bed—ignoring the food for now as I saddled myself on his lap. I cupped either side of his face, tilting his head back as my lips hovered over his.</p><p><em>I'm trying</em>, he said in return as he held my waist lightly. I leaned in to capture his lips with mine, but his spread in a wide grin instead of kissing me back. I was about to complain, but a knock came at our door a moment later. I huffed in annoyance as I leaned back, his eyes sparkling with amusement.</p><p>"You knew someone was coming, didn't you?" I asked.</p><p>"Perhaps, but I wasn't going to stop you."</p><p>I rolled my eyes as I climbed off him. <em>Prick</em>.</p><p>A dark chuckle reverberated in his chest as he climbed off the bed, crossing over to the door and opening it to reveal Mor with Viviane a step behind her—Kallias at her side. I immediately stood from the bed, surprised that it took a little more effort than it used to, as Rhys stepped aside to let them in.</p><p>"Viviane, how are you?" I asked, taking a step forward as Rhys returned to my side.</p><p>"I'm perfectly fine, we both are. Thanks to you," she said as she ran a hand along her enormous belly.</p><p>I smiled and took the free hand she extended to me, squeezing it gently. I looked at Kallias, whose glacial eyes seemed silver-lined for the split second I met them before he dropped down to a knee before me. Through the bond I felt Rhys go as completely rigid with shock as I did as the High Lord of Winter actually <em>bowed</em>. Even Mor's mouth dropped open as she watched from the doorway.</p><p>Kallias stayed on one knee, his head lowered as he spoke. "You protected my wife, my <em>mate</em>. The High Lady of the Winter Court and the mother of my child and heir. Not only that, but my child as well." He raised his head up, his crushing blue eyes meeting mine once again. "For that, I will be forever grateful and in your debt. As High Lord of the Winter Court, I vow to uphold our alliance with the Night Court."</p><p>He stood as Viviane squeezed my hand again, and I realized I had been holding it this whole time. I met the icy blue of her eyes as she smiled. "We will make sure our daughter knows of her friends in the Night Court, especially the one who will be her age and possibly share some of her powers."</p><p>Still too stunned to speak, to have any other reaction other than surprise, I nodded. I felt Rhys shift from my side to shake hands with Kallias and gratitude flooded through me as I moved to embrace Viviane. We both laughed wetly as we struggled over her belly and pulled apart to stand at arm's length—both of our eyes now filled with tears.</p><p>"Thank you," I choked out and turned to Kallias again. "You're our friends, and I would gladly protect Viviane again."</p><p>"Hopefully it won't come to that again," Rhys interjected, and I knew the idea of his pregnant mate stepping in the line of fire for a second time might've been too much for him to handle.</p><p>Kallias clasped a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "It won't," he said.</p><p>I nodded, but it was Viviane who spoke up before I had the chance to. "I would do the same, and I might've, but Feyre's reflexes are a lot quicker than mine at the moment," she quipped with a grin at me.</p><p>I smirked back, "At least for the moment. Though, I did faint right afterwards."</p><p>"I fainted when Kallias brought me back to our rooms. Maybe my stamina isn't completely lost after all!" She joked.</p><p>Both males exchanged withered glances; Mor, Viviane, and I breaking into a round of laughter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The remaining session left in our annual summit had followed and ended, for the most part, rather successfully. After Eris had taken his treacherous father back to the Autumn Court, we reassembled the next morning. Each High Lord and High Lady had sat evenly spaced around the reflection pool with our entourages and our human friends as well; Tamlin and his sentry Hart, being the odd ones out. Despite the memory of our first High Lord's meeting, and Tamlin's actions back then looming over us, he continued with his peculiar silence—staring at the reflection pool as our host officially began the meeting and Rhysand began informing the others of our dire situation.</p><p>"<em>A coup? In the Night Court?" Tarquin had asked.</em></p><p>
  <em>I nodded solemnly in return. "Keir, our steward of the Court of Nightmares, has spent the last several years plotting with an Illyrian camp lord named Kallon," I explained.</em>
</p><p>In the decade of summits we held, Rhys, Cassian and Azriel informed the others more about the Illyrian forces and their ways of life—which they hadn't known much about prior to the war. The latter of the trio emphasized their archaic lifestyle—and his disdain for it, while Cassian and Rhys detailed more on how the armies functioned. I remembered how Cassian's hazel eyes brightened with pride when he announced that he and I had been slowly training more and more females to join their forces over the years. At that moment, however, those eyes had been dulled and matched the grim line of his lips as he and Azriel sat a little taller at my explanation.</p><p>"<em>Unfortunately, that camp lord has rallied half of the other camp lords and their armies to his cause," Rhys had continued.</em></p><p>
  <em>Tension then settled over us as Rhys summoned the reports that Azriel had gathered over the last several weeks in his hands; Helion using his magic to replicate and pass them amongst the group.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Half of your Illyrian forces have turned against you?" He asked us incredulously, though his gold-flecked eyes were stony.</em></p><p>
  <em>I nodded grimly, holding my stomach protectively. "Unfortunately. In exchange, Keir has promised to support Kallon in separating the Illyrians from the Night Court," I managed; my throat going unexpectedly tight at the thought.</em>
</p><p>"<em>Which is why we called this summit early," Rhys continued for me. "Not only does our intel inform us of the traitors in our court, but it also suggests that Beron has joined their ranks as well."</em></p><p>
  <em>Everyone's resolve had been matched with this news; after the High Lord of Autumn's display having only been hours behind us at that point, we all knew that his newfound alliance was no longer a suggestion.</em>
</p><p>"<em>What would you have us do?" Kallias asked carefully. His fiercely blue eyes searched for a way to help, but I knew the hesitation was still there as he placed a hand on his mate's knee.</em></p><p>
  <em>Viviane squeezed his hand in return and trained sympathetic eyes at me. She knew better than the rest that a war brewing on the horizon was the last thing I, nor my mate, wanted to focus on with our youngling on the way.</em>
</p><p>"<em>We only ask for the same help you offered during the war," I pleaded softly—meeting all of their gazes as Rhys took my hand. "Your armies, should we need them, because if Rhysand and I should fall, then-" my voice cracked a bit, and I squeezed my mate's hand.</em></p><p>"<em>We believe Keir has orchestrated this coup, rallying what Illyrian forces he could through a young and untested camp lord, and now reinforcing old ties with the Autumn Court in order to take over my throne. He's always resented my family ruling the Night Court, even during my father's reign, and now he believes he can take it for himself," Rhys said.</em></p><p>"<em>Make no mistake, my father is ruthless," Mor joined in—voice tight. "And I know he wouldn't just stop with the Night Court. Kallon is an idiot for believing my father would grant the Illyrians independence. The Illyrians, and whatever ties he's formed with Beron, he's using to his advantage. He believes them all to be fools and wouldn't hesitate to bide his time until taking over their court as well. Whatever deal he's struck with the High Lord will ultimately give him leverage in the end. Leverage over them, over the rest of Prythian, and the Mortal Lands as well."</em></p><p>Mor's warning to the others of her father's ambition resounded in my head for the thousandth time since the summit and I groaned quietly as I rubbed at my temples, staring out the window at the wide expanse of the estate's gardens.</p><p>"I have to admit, Feyre darling, the rest you've gotten over the last couple of weeks has allowed your mental shields to build back up nicely," came Rhys's warm-tenor voice from behind me. "It's too bad that I can tell just by the look in your eyes what you're thinking of; or rather, remembering."</p><p>I glanced at his muted reflection in the library window, mirrored in front of me, and scowled at the taunting smirk on his lips. "You can't even see my eyes from here," I retorted.</p><p>"Sure I can," he said easily, his reflection growing closer as he walked towards where I perched on a cushioned seat by the window. "Just like I can see that lovely scowl on your face."</p><p>I threw up my hand in a vulgar gesture, knowing he'd see <em>that</em>, and his laughter finally allowed my shoulders to relax as he curled in next to me on the window seat. I adjusted, stretching my back and curving a hand along the ever-growing line of my belly. In the weeks that had followed since the summit, my stomach had only continued with its exponential growth—which left Rhys infatuated. He rested a hand on it now as I moved to recline against his shoulder, returning my stare out the window.</p><p>"Your level of stress is beginning to concern me, my love," Rhys said quietly as he ran a hand along my stomach. "I know it's easier said than done, but I wish you would unburden yourself."</p><p>I sighed and closed my eyes as I allowed my body to fully relax against him, taking in a few cleansing breaths. He was right; in spite of getting full support from our friends in the other courts and in the Mortal Lands as well, I couldn't shake off my sense of unease. Even Tamlin, our unlikely ally, silently agreed to offer his armies—should we need it. Though he remained speechless as the others asked more and more questions on the intel we had gathered, he listened. At the end when the others offered what they could, he merely stood with Hart and said he and his armies were at our disposal—before they winnowed away without another word.</p><p>Perhaps it was his abrupt behavior, along with the lingering question of Eris's true intentions, that weighed on me. After Tamlin's departure, we had all been suspicious of whether or not Eris was truly on our side. There was no doubt that the High Lord of Autumn was our enemy, but we had yet to see if his eldest son was merely using his father as a pawn in this coup for his benefit alone.</p><p>"Come back to me, Feyre," Rhys murmured in my ear, knowing my thoughts were once again swirling with anxiety and pulling me away. "Come back to us," he said as he rubbed the swell of my stomach.</p><p>"We have the numbers; we have the allies and support we need. Now we wait, and while we wait, we can go back to focusing our attention on <em>him</em>."</p><p>I smiled as he kept sending soothing strokes over the fair expanse of my belly and turned my face into his neck. I breathed in his salt and citrus scent, relishing in his touch before I slowly opened my eyes to meet his.</p><p>"You're right," I said softly. "I shouldn't worry so much, but I guess I do because…" I trailed off, unable to think of the right words.</p><p>"You're nesting," he amended with a smirk.</p><p>I raised a brow, "Nesting? Madja said that wouldn't happen until much later."</p><p>During one of our previous check-ins with the healer, she expressed that in the last remaining weeks of my pregnancy, I would be overcome with a sudden instinct to clean and organize in preparation for the baby's arrival. This instinct was commonly known as nesting, and every expecting female had experienced it before giving birth. The healer also expressed that males cultivated a form of it as well, something Viviane alluded to when she explained that Kallias's male-bonded instincts would alert him of when her time was approaching and cause him to accommodate her and their youngling's needs on a primal level.</p><p>"True, but this could be a form of it," he explained, amused. "As a High Lady simultaneously expecting a youngling, it's only natural that you would want your court in the best condition before welcoming a child into it."</p><p>I stared down at my stomach, his hands laying idle on either side of it, "That's still months away…"</p><p>Rhys kissed my temple, "Yes, but it's rather transparent that the threat of a coup is what keeps you so troubled." I could feel the shift in his mood as he mulled over his words, but I turned in his arms and carefully straddled him—meeting his gaze so that I could put his mind at ease.</p><p>"This isn't your fault Rhys, it isn't anyone's fault," I reminded him. "Like you've told me so many times before, this is still an exciting time for us, and we're coming to a solution. One day at a time, and although I have my moments where I get lost in my worries, I know we're <em>safe</em>."</p><p>His returning grin was slow as he held my hips, and I leaned in to press a tender kiss on his lips in an attempt to quell some of the stress he now felt. "Let's concentrate on him," I said.</p><p>"And on <em>you</em>," he emphasized as he rubbed the tender spot between my pronounced belly and hip bone. I hissed a bit at the soreness as he massaged the area. "Are you feeling any better after this morning?"</p><p>I sighed as I recalled the new aches and pains I had been experiencing as of late. Almost a week ago I woke up with excruciating muscle pain in my hips and out of an abundance of caution, Rhys sent for Madja-who, unsurprisingly, informed us that yet another unfavorable exploit of pregnancy was plaguing me. On top of the lingering nausea spells, dizziness, and fatigue, I was now dealt with the unfortunate side effect of pain in my pelvic area. According to the healer, due to my ever-expanding womb, the hormones being released in order to make room were causing an imbalance in my pelvis bone—thus causing pain in my hip joints and back. Thankfully, there was no cause for alarm in regard to the baby, but it meant another ailment added to the list I already struggled with.</p><p>Fortunately, the healer gave us a list of different exercises to try in order to relieve the strain and tautness, and I was more than grateful that my mate was eager to help alleviate it.</p><p>"A little," I replied as he kept rubbing soothing circles into either side of my hips. I relaxed as I sat in his lap, allowing him to continue as I laid my hands on his shoulders. "It always feels better when you do that, though."</p><p>He offered a sympathetic smile as his hands worked, "I'm sorry you're so uncomfortable, Feyre. I thought this level of discomfort would come at the end stages."</p><p>I pouted, "So did I. Now I can't even imagine the mess I'll be then. You'll have to carry me around everywhere because I won't be able to walk." I lamented with a dramatic sigh.</p><p>"I'll be happy to oblige you then, <em>and</em> now, my love," Rhys said before placing a kiss on my still pouting lips. "But hopefully you'll have some relief before then."</p><p>"Probably not, but it's all right," I said as I glanced down at my stomach. "He'll be worth it…"</p><p>He grinned as the glimmer that was our baby fluttered between us, but after a few seconds his lips parted in astonishment as we both felt that flutter turn into a solid bump against his hand. It was small, so subtle that any other lesser being might've missed it, but it was clear as day to us.</p><p>"Was that…?" Rhys choked out.</p><p>I brightened, "He kicked."</p><p>His violet eyes stared at my stomach, amazed, before lining with silver as he beamed. "Our son kicks."</p><p>I laughed wetly and rubbed the other side of my stomach, trying to gently coax the movement to continue and we both concentrated on it until we felt another kick in return.</p><p>"He's kicking, Rhys!"</p><p>"He's strong," he said, voice warm as his hands ran over my stomach carefully. "Try not to kick too hard in there, son, you don't want to hurt your mama."</p><p>I smirked, "Are you scolding our son already, Rhysand?"</p><p>"Not scolding, just giving him a gentle reminder to take it easy on you," he said.</p><p>My heart warmed, but before I could say anything else, something from the window caught in the corner of my eye. I turned to face it, Rhys following my gaze, and gasped as I saw flecks of snow falling outside. Just minutes ago, the sky had been clear and blue, the sun shining as it normally did on a spring afternoon. Now, the expanse of the skies were lined with clouds as it snowed, but I noticed none of it stuck to the ground—still warm enough outside for the snow to melt as soon as it touched the earth. I turned to Rhys, confused at this sudden change in weather—unlike any I had ever experienced in Velaris, or Prythian alone for that matter.</p><p>"Viviane has given birth," Rhys answered my silent question. "Whenever a youngling is born into a ruling family's court, it affects all the others in Prythian. In this case, since this child was born into the Winter Court, we have snow."</p><p>I brightened as I turned back to the window, a sense of pride swelling in my chest and throat, "So, this means she had her baby today? And they're both okay?"</p><p>He stoked my side lightly as he nodded, "Yes, this is a sign that both mother and child are healthy."</p><p>I felt my eyes burn at the realization, the relief. Viviane had mentioned that bringing forth a youngling would be difficult, and if fae cycles were any indication for what labor pains might be, I couldn't imagine how excruciating it must've been to endure. But, seeing the light snow shower meant she and her baby had made it through without complication, and were both recovering.</p><p>"I can't imagine what it must look like in the Winter Court," I said.</p><p>Rhys chuckled, "I'm sure the snowstorm is quite impressive for them, but it'll be nothing compared to what will happen here once you give birth."</p><p>I raised a brow, "What happens in the Night Court? A full day of night for all of Prythian?" I quipped.</p><p>He flicked my nose with a smirk, "You'll see, smartass."</p><p>I giggled, "Wait, but I'm actually curious! What <em>will</em> happen here?"</p><p>Just as he was about to retort with another snide comment, Mor and Elain burst through the library doors. Mor squealing in delight as she twirled about the room in excitement.</p><p>"Viviane gave birth!" She sang, too distracted to notice when I moved off of Rhys's lap as gracefully as possible, my cheeks warm. Elain was on her heels, but she took in our position and quickly looked away.</p><p>"I know, Rhys just explained it to me," I said as I stood, smoothing out my loose long-sleeved tunic.</p><p>"Oh, I can't wait to meet her," Mor gushed as she took my hands in excitement. "Did she tell you the name they picked for her?"</p><p>I shook my head and Mor grinned, "Eira."</p><p>"Snow. How beautiful," Elain chimed as she came to our side.</p><p>"It is," I said as I looked out the window again, and it was then that I noticed Nesta standing by the window at the opposite end of the room.</p><p>Her arms were crossed over her abdomen as she stared outside, blue-grey eyes actually soft as she watched the snowfall. I was surprised until I remembered the speech she delivered over a decade ago at our very first summit meeting before the war—the condolences she offered on Kallias and Viviane's behalf for the loss of all those younglings at Amarantha's wrath. Her sympathy had surprised me then, and I wondered at the warmth in her eyes now—and what looked to be like a hint of sorrow in them as well.</p><p>"Eira," Rhys said as he stood nonchalantly from the window seat. "Seems pretty fitting as well," he said as he took in the sight of the snow falling again before coming to rest a hand on the small of my back. "Looks like we'll have to be equally creative when we pick a name."</p><p>I grinned at his insinuation and Mor groaned in exasperation. "Will you at least give me a hint? Are you leaning towards <em>boy</em> names or <em>girl</em> names?"</p><p>I shook my head. "Sorry Mor, but my lips are sealed. You'll know the baby's name when he or she is born, just like everyone else," I teased.</p><p>"But you already know what you're having, don't you?" Elain asked, and I could see the impatience in her eyes as well.</p><p>Though some had implied that our baby was indeed a boy at the summit a few weeks before, Rhys nor I actually confirmed this fact—much to everyone's chagrin; especially Mor and Elain's.</p><p>I shrugged and Mor rolled her eyes again. "You know if you don't tell us, we won't know how to decorate the nursery," she tried to argue; and my sister's eyes widened at the idea.</p><p>"Then we'll stick to a neutral theme," Rhys suggested.</p><p>I laughed at Mor and Elain's equal protests, but my eyes returned to Nesta—who had turned from her place at the window and exited the room as quietly as she had entered.</p><hr/><p>I later found Cassian staring up at the cloudy sky, wings tucked in tight as he stood in the middle of the training arena as snow continued to fall. I cleared my throat as I approached, and he turned to face me.</p><p>"You aren't here to try and insist I train you again, are you?" He asked, hazel eyes sparkling with mischief.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, recalling how in spite of Madja's recommendation, there had been days I still wanted to keep up with some of my training while still in the early stages. After seeing the toll my pregnancy was taking, however, Cassian adamantly refused.</p><p>"No, not this time," I said and motioned to the sky. "Did you hear the news?"</p><p>He nodded and picked up a stray dagger on the ground, "I know what it means. You should've seen the way the trees around here turned when Lucien was born. It was actually nice."</p><p>I watched as the lightness in the words he spoke didn't quite reach his eyes, noting the same strange sorrow in them that were in Nesta's. After she left the library, I had excused myself a few minutes later in order to try and find her—curious to know what melancholy suddenly plagued her. I had let Rhys know through the bond that I felt something awry with my sister, and that I was going to talk to her in the hopes that she might finally open up a bit more with me. However, while I searched for her, I instead heard Cassian's grunts as he vigorously sparred in the outdoor training pit. I watched from a balcony as he tore apart a training dummy to pieces, unusually aggressive, and waited until I saw him calm before coming out to meet him. There was something aching inside of him, and inside of Nesta, and though they continued to keep whatever bond between them private—I hoped I could find out why they were suddenly afflicted.</p><p>"It's good news then, isn't it? For Kallias and Viviane?" I asked quietly.</p><p>He glanced up at the sky again with a quick nod, "Yes, it is."</p><p>I softened as I saw the longing in his eyes, "Why do you look so sad then?"</p><p>He quickly averted my gaze, "What makes you say that?"</p><p>"Because the look on your face is the same look I saw on Nesta's earlier," I said gently.</p><p>He sighed and tossed the dagger in his hands into a crate by his feet. "I'm not sad, Feyre, and I can't always speak for your sister."</p><p>"No, I guess you can't." I said as I crossed over to a nearby bench and sat on it, wincing a bit at the pain it caused in my hips, but silently invited him to sit beside me regardless.</p><p>He obliged and sat on the bench, "You're in pain?" he asked.</p><p>I shook my head, "Moving around is just trickier now, because my growing stomach is throwing off...everything, apparently."</p><p>His lips widened into a grin. "Figures Rhys's kid would give you hell before it's even born."</p><p>We both laughed and I saw that same longing return in his gaze as he stared at my stomach. I hesitated before asking, "Have you ever considered having a child one day?"</p><p>Cassian's shoulders stiffened for a second before he sighed in defeat, knowing he couldn't evade this question. "I'll never have any offspring of my own Feyre," he finally said.</p><p>I blinked, surprised, and suddenly his look of sorrow and longing made sense—along with the same expression I had seen in Nesta's. Though unofficial, we all knew of the ties that existed between Cassian and my sister. Rhys and I figured that when they were ready to express their feelings—to share their bond, then they would. In the meantime, we all silently acknowledged it, but never said anything to try and coax a confession.</p><p>This revelation however, made me recall that in the decade since she'd been made, Nesta had yet to experience a fae cycle. Shortly after experiencing mine for the first time, I had briefly informed my sisters of what to expect. It wasn't long after that Elain had experienced her own and I had been there to coach her through the agonizing process. I expected Nesta to soon follow, but whenever I tried to inquire about it, she brushed me off. For years, I assumed that she just shut me out whenever her time came; until Elain revealed to me that our eldest sister hadn't had a cycle at all since <em>before</em> being made—when she was still a human.</p><p>Remembering this, and hearing Cassian's words now, my heart squeezed in remorse for bringing it up. I looked up at the sky as the snow continued to fall around us, "I'm sorry Cassian," I whispered. "I shouldn't have-"</p><p>He cut me off with a huff of laughter. "In my centuries of existence, I never gave it much thought. Rhys, on the other hand," he said, his gaze meeting mine again with solid reassurance. "When he came back from Under the Mountain, it was all he talked about,"</p><p>"I didn't know why at first, because we had always been too preoccupied to even consider settling down and having offspring. But after Az and I heard about you, <em>met</em> you, I knew you were the reason why. From the moment he came back from that place, when you both made it out of there, he envisioned a future with you."</p><p>My eyes burned as I squeezed his hand. "We wouldn't be here, expecting this child, if it weren't in part for you Cassian," I admitted with a sniff.</p><p>He laughed and pulled me into a one-armed embrace around my shoulders. "Those hormones of yours are no joke! It's kind of funny," he teased.</p><p>I scowled, "I can't help it. It's not my fault he's thrown me completely out of whack." I said, motioning to my stomach.</p><p>Cassian grinned. "<em>He</em>?"</p><p>I paused. "Don't tell Mor, or Elain. They're dying to know, but between you and me," I began, resting a hand over the apex of my stomach. "It's a boy..."</p><p>Cassian's eyes flickered with a mix of yearning and joy, and I noticed his hand twitch towards my stomach, but he stopped himself—hesitant.</p><p>I smiled, "Go ahead. You are going to be his Uncle Cassian after all, and according to Viviane he'll be able to distinguish our voices as he grows."</p><p>He blinked, "He can hear us talking?"</p><p>"Well right now he hears my voice the clearest, and Rhysand's. But over time, he'll be able to hear everyone else's, including yours," I explained.</p><p>He balked before touching my stomach cautiously with an open palm, "In that case, you should get used to my voice now, little one. I'll be training you once you're big enough."</p><p>I grinned playfully, "If you're going to teach him to fly, just make sure you don't drop him out of the sky."</p><p>"It was one time," he said with a roll of his eyes. "And I would never endanger a youngling's life, especially his. You hear that little one? Don't let your mean ol' mom or dad tell you otherwise. Uncle Cassian will take good care of you."</p><p>My heart warmed as he went on to have a conversation with my stomach, and I continued to answer any other questions he had about pregnancy and about my growing son—reminding me that this pregnancy was just a wonder to him, and everyone in our inner circle, as it was for Rhys and me. They were living through it for the first time, just like we were, and they loved our son just as fiercely as well. I then silently promised myself that during this period of waiting, I would spend less time worrying and more time with my family.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Rhys?"</p><p>My soft whisper was met with silence; my mate remaining in the depths of slumber, an arm draped over my waist as we lay entangled in our plush sheets. It was still dark outside, only a couple of hours having passed since we turned in for the night and yet I awoke; overcome with an urge I had never felt so intensely before.</p><p>"Rhys?" I whispered again, touching his cheek gently and saw a flicker in the muscle of his jaw.</p><p>"Rhysand…" I pressed, my heart racing in hopes I could coax him into consciousness as tenderly as possible.</p><p>"Yes…?" He muttered, voice thick with sleep and eyes remaining closed.</p><p>"Rhys…" I hesitated, moving in a little closer to him as I murmured sheepishly. "I'm...hungry,"</p><p>His dark brows pulled together in confusion, "Hungry?" he asked.</p><p>I nodded, my head rubbing against his shoulder with the motion. "Starving, actually," I admitted as I traced circles along the dark whorls of his tattoos.</p><p>I grinned as he opened his eyes, still perplexed as he turned to me. "You didn't eat at dinner?" He asked, concerned, and I giggled.</p><p>"I did. You were there remember?"</p><p>"That's right," he closed his eyes again with a sigh of relief, the hand on my waist drifting to my rounded stomach pressed against his side. "We went to Sevenda's with the others and you had the prime rib special."</p><p>My stomach growled at the memory, and I choked back a rising sob. "Yes…"</p><p>He opened his eyes again, alarmed at the sound of unshed tears in my voice. "What's wrong, Feyre?" he asked, fully alert now as he shifted onto his side to look down at me.</p><p>I felt my eyes burn, suddenly overcome with guilt for making him worry <em>and</em> for waking him up, but I couldn't resist the ache in my stomach.</p><p>"I want more," I whispered.</p><p>He blinked, taken aback as he stared at me. "Of the prime rib?" He clarified.</p><p>I nodded with a hiccup. Cauldron damn these hormones. "I <em>need</em> it Rhys.<em> We</em> need it." I said, placing my hands on my stomach.</p><p>Rhys breathed a sigh of respite, laughing breathily as he dropped his forehead against my collarbone. "Oh Feyre, you scared me."</p><p>"I'm serious, Rhys, I'm <em>so</em> hungry and that prime rib was so <em>good</em>. I need more of it, or else-"</p><p>"Of course, my love, whatever you want," he hurriedly reassured me, kissing my cheeks before pulling back to meet my gaze.</p><p>I sniffed as I stared into his violet eyes, sparkling with amusement. "Really?"</p><p>My heart lifted at the feline grin on his lips, "Yes. Would you like everything that came with it too?"</p><p>I brightened and nodded, "Yes. Please."</p><p>He chuckled and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before pulling back and climbing out of bed. "I'll be right back, then."</p><p>I beamed as I pushed myself up slowly, a month of growth on my abdomen now weighed me down and I required a little more effort when rising from any laying or sitting position. In the month that passed since the summit, since Eira's birth, we had all fallen into a sense of ease. Prior to the summit, Rhys and I did our best to compose our nerves over the rising coup, but now with the full support of our friends at our back, we finally felt a sense of solace. We were still in a period of waiting—of gathering more intelligence on Keir, Kallon, and now Beron. Thanks to Azriel's continued spy work, we were assured that no advancements were being made on either front, so we all allowed ourselves to breathe easier—for now at least.</p><p>The only wild card that remained was Eris, but after a brief meeting with him at our moonstone palace above the Court of Nightmares, things seemed...placated, for the time being. The eldest of the Vanserra sons, and heir to the Autumn Court, assured the earlier theory Rhys had—that the male wanted our support in overthrowing his father. What surprised me, however, was that it was <em>all</em> he wanted. He swore he played no part in his father's plans with Keir, and to prove it he provided us with detailed, secret, reports from his father's general; whom he had rallied to his side as well. The reports accurately lined up with the intel Azriel's network of spies had collected, and as of recently divulged a lack of movement as well.</p><p>It seemed the trio of traitors were biding their time, presumably attempting to adjust their plans now that the entire continent was aware of my pregnancy. We knew better than to assume they would reel back on the coup because of this; instead deciding to strike before my child had a chance to be born. The threat still haunted us all, but until we had news of any change in plans, we had to wait. In the meantime, Rhys, our family, and I were making the best of it. True to the promise I made myself, having seen how curious and eager Cassian had been in learning about my pregnancy, I spent as much time with them as I could. To aid in our efforts, Rhys and I hired a personal assistant to help balance our workload as High Lord and High Lady; agreeing that we needed the help while we transitioned into preparing for parenthood. That assistant was Clotho, the mute priestess who served in the library of Velaris, and one of the only other fae Rhys or I could trust outside of the inner circle. The priestess humbly agreed and now split her time between our estate and the library. Despite not being able to outwardly express herself, Rhys assured me that she was ecstatic to hear of my pregnancy and wanted nothing more than to help us balance our work between ruling and parenting.</p><p>In the month that passed, not only were we able to de-stress a bit and enjoy leisure time with our family, but I had also observed a notable change in myself. While my belly, now an impressive, rounded mound that was pronounced no matter what I wore, continued to grow with the promise from Madja that our son was still as healthy as ever; I noticed a myriad of developments in my emotions. While I did find myself with more energy than I had in the early days of my pregnancy, that frequency in fatigue now seemed to trade places with erratic mood swings. One minute I would be as happy and content as ever, and in the next beset with unexpected gloom. However, everyone seemed to take it in stride—especially my mate, who simply smiled and listened to me rant or just held me when I needed to cry.</p><p>Along with my renewed energy, my appetite returned with a vengeance. The same three meals I ate everyday no longer sated me, and I found myself snacking on various things throughout the day. There had been an incident a few weeks ago where I watched in total envy as Azriel snacked on dried meat in between training with Cassian and Rhys—something the brothers had picked back up in part due to the looming threat, but also as a means for entertainment. It wasn't until Cassian noticed me on the verge of tears and snatched the meat from Azriel, casually offering it to me, that I realized I had officially started with pregnancy-related cravings. The cravings hadn't been so intense; until tonight, when I had been ripped from sleep by my growling stomach and the desire to have another helping of dinner had me waking my mate from his sleep.</p><p>"Do you think she still has those leftovers?" I asked as I watched him dress.</p><p>"I'm sure she has plenty left reserved for you, Feyre darling. She saw how much you loved it," he replied with a knowing grin.</p><p>My face warmed as I recalled how the restaurateur offered to pack up extra servings for me to bring back to the estate, but I had been too embarrassed at the extra helpings I already consumed during our stay and politely refused.</p><p>"I didn't want to look like a glutton," I admitted sheepishly.</p><p>He walked over, resting his hands on the bed as he leveled our gazes. "No one would think that. You're pregnant and feeding the heir to the Night Court. They know he needs to eat, even in the middle of the night," he said and gave me another chaste kiss before stroking a hand along my stomach affectionately.</p><p>I smiled. "That's true. It's just hard to keep up when I feel absolutely ravenous every few hours."</p><p>He smirked appreciatively as he rubbed my stomach again, "Is there anything else my son wants?"</p><p>"Strawberries," I answered quickly. "With chocolate, or whipped cream."</p><p>Rhys laughed and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Whatever you want, my love," he repeated and stood upright.</p><p>I waited for him to return as patiently as I could, pacing between our bedroom and balcony every few minutes before finally pacifying myself by sitting with a book on the cushioned bench of the balcony. In order to keep myself distracted, I read a book of plays aloud in hopes that my growing baby would be patient in his insatiable appetite. The sound of my voice must have appeased him, because as I continued to read, my hunger seemed to dull a bit. However, after a few minutes passed, I felt his kicks of protests and rubbed at the spot.</p><p>"If you have such a problem with my reading, then talk to your father. He's the one that taught mama how to read," I said, and my heart warmed at the memory of my lessons with Rhysand in my early days at the Night Court. "Maybe he'll teach you to read too."</p><p>"We both could," I heard Rhys say from behind me and I whipped my head around to see him holding a bundle of food.</p><p>I pushed myself up unceremoniously, eager to eat as the smells hit my nose. "That's so much food!" I exclaimed as he walked over and placed the bundle on the small table we kept on the balcony.</p><p>"Sevenda might've given us some more food she thought you might enjoy," he answered with a laugh before snapping his fingers and the food instantly displayed out before me.</p><p>I gasped in admiration before Rhys pulled out a chair for me and I happily sat, digging into my meal immediately and moaned with relief as the savory juices of the prime rib hit my taste buds.</p><p>Rhys sat next to me, casually grabbing a strawberry from the bowl he had also laid out and snacked on it as he regaled me while I indulged myself. "You truly are a sight to behold, Feyre darling."</p><p>I felt my face warm and dread filled my chest as I swallowed a mouthful. "Do I look like a pig?" I asked, that dread beginning to ebb into shame.</p><p>"No, no." He quickly reassured me, moving closer until our knees were touching. "I meant the sight of my expecting mate enjoying herself, of nourishing my growing child, is one I never dreamed I'd see," he explained. His hand came to rest on my stomach again as those beautiful amethyst eyes grew tender.</p><p>I squeezed his hand gently, "You deserve it Rhys. This child is a culmination of everything that is good about you; of all the good you've done in your lifetime."</p><p>His eyes were lined with silver as they met mine, and I moved my hands to cup his face. "He will be all the best parts of you, Rhysand."</p><p>"And of you," he swore. "<em>You</em> brought out the best in me Feyre. Everything that I am, that I have now, including this child, is all because of you."</p><p>My heart pounded with joy as I beamed and pulled him in for a kiss. He returned it with just as much fervor and heat began pooling in my core. When he pulled away too soon for my liking, I kissed him again-slowly, and nipped at his bottom lip.</p><p>I felt the fiendish smirk of his lips on mine as he muttered, "I thought you were hungry?"</p><p>"I'm hungry for something else now." I whispered, staring at him with half-lidded eyes.</p><p>I shrieked with a laugh as he scooped me up in his arms, my legs easily hooking around his waist as the food from the table suddenly disappeared and he carried me over to the nearest wall.</p><hr/><p>The following morning, I was pleased to see Rhys still in our bed and even more delighted to still be wrapped in his arms. He had a tendency to wake before I did these days and often got a head start on his work, allowing me the opportunity to sleep in and get the rest my body needed. However, after the night we had, I wasn't too surprised to see him needing the extra sleep. I smirked mischievously as I lightly traced along the tattoos on his chest with my own tattooed fingers, relishing in his scent as I recalled the details of our night that extended into the early hours of the morning.</p><p>It was a welcome change of pace after the stress that weighed on us; one we needed now more than ever with a youngling on the way. The days of just the two of us were set to expire in a few months; soon to be filled with a new life we would have to work together to sustain—all while balancing our duties of presiding over the Night Court. I often tried not to let the weight of that responsibility stress me out; knowing we had our whole family to rely on, but now that I was nearly halfway through my pregnancy, I wanted more of this time alone together.</p><p>I felt dark talons gently caress my mental shields and I smiled as I lowered them enough for my mate, who kept his eyes closed despite now being conscious. I allowed him into my thoughts; letting him know of my yearning for the quality time we had just experienced together as a lazy hand caressed my stomach.</p><p>"Let's go to the Cabin for a few days," he said after a couple of minutes passed.</p><p>I pushed myself up on an elbow, staring down at him as his sleepy violet eyes met with mine. "Really?" I asked, already keen on the idea.</p><p>He nodded in affirmation. "Cassian and Azriel are keeping the appropriate tabs on everything, and Clotho is set to meet with Mor and Amren today to go over some paperwork from the Palace Lords in Velaris," he explained.</p><p>I nodded. "My sisters also have their own agenda," I added. "Elain plans to drag Nesta to the market, or one of the palaces, today."</p><p>"So, we can get away," Rhys said. He brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face and I nodded again.</p><p>"Let's go now." I said, eager to escape with my mate.</p><p>It had been months since we set foot in the Cabin together. There were times he or I visited alone to let off some steam, sometimes meeting each other by the end of the day, but it was the first time we would go together since Winter Solstice; the first time since I fell pregnant, and I couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic.</p><p>Rhys smiled languidly. "Right now?"</p><p>I nodded and pushed myself up carefully, staring down at him with a grin. "Right now," I confirmed.</p><p>His smile shifted from lazy to determined as he sat up in the bed. I reached over to pull on my silky dressing gown and robe as he climbed out of bed and dressed. I laughed as he scooped me up in his arms and I wrapped my arms around his neck.</p><p>"We'll have to bring the baby too," I said in mock disappointment.</p><p>He chuckled as he walked over to the balcony. "That's all right. We'll consider it our first trip as a family."</p><p>The next thing I knew, we were in the sky, Rhys's powerful wings easily propelling us from our balcony and into the air in a matter of seconds. I held onto him as I felt the warm breeze encircle us and whoosh through my hair as he took us to our destination. I watched his wings as they moved; strong and beautiful, and felt a kick from inside my stomach.</p><p>"Do you think he can tell we're flying?" Rhys asked.</p><p>"Maybe," I said as I felt another swift kick and rested a hand on the spot. "It's okay baby, daddy won't drop us."</p><p>"Never," Rhys affirmed.</p><p>I looked up at him, "Do you think he'll have wings?"</p><p>The corner of Rhys's lips twitched upwards. "Of course he will. Maybe not at birth, but they'll come."</p><p>"Were you born with your wings?" I asked, admiring how the sun reflected off the iridescence of them as they moved in unison.</p><p>He shook his head. "My mother was hopeful they would develop as I matured, and a day after my eighth birthday they appeared," he said.</p><p>"Just like that?" I asked with a smirk.</p><p>"Magic."</p><p>I laughed and traced a finger along the membrane of one as it moved within my reach. He stiffened at my touch and I grinned playfully.</p><p>"Illyrian baby," I teased.</p><p>"If it weren't for my son in your belly, I would demand <em>you</em> fly us to the Cabin and see how you fare while I stroke your wings," Rhys taunted.</p><p>I giggled and pecked his cheek, keeping one arm draped around his neck while the other rested on my stomach. I paused as realization struck.</p><p>"Is that when your mother brought you to the mountains?" I asked.</p><p>Rhys nodded, already knowing what I referred to. "I think she was going to bring me regardless, but she was eager for me to fly and learn the Illyrian traditions."</p><p>The silver in his violet eyes flecked with a hint of sadness as he recalled the memory of his mother. The current status of our relationship with the Illyrians put a strain on his heart. He grew up with them, found his brothers amongst them, and their participation in the coup was the last thing he ever wanted. I laid my head on his shoulder in order to provide him with some comfort, not wanting either of us to dwell on that heartache during our little getaway.</p><p>His fingertips brushed the side of my stomach lightly as he held me closer. "I want him to learn, to train, like I did," he said.</p><p>Although he didn't ask, I heard the question in his words and I nodded. "He's Illyrian, just like you."</p><p>He pressed a kiss to my temple and landed on the steps leading to the Cabin, setting me on my feet carefully and I smiled reassuringly at him before taking his hand as we both walked to the entrance. As soon as we walked in, the fire in the hearth ignited and the rest of the house sprang to life with a wave of Rhys's hand, immediately accommodating us. A second later, platters of food appeared in the kitchen and I beamed.</p><p>"I love it here," I said as I strolled over to the counter, picking up a piece of perfectly crisped bacon and took a bite.</p><p>Rhys smiled roguishly as he joined my side, taking a slice of bacon for himself. "It's just what we needed, especially after your ravenous cravings kept me up all night. In more ways than one," he said with a wink.</p><p>I threw my hand up in a vulgar gesture. <em>It's not like you were complaining</em>. I said through the bond.</p><p>
  <em>Indeed not, my love.</em>
</p><p>I sat at one of the raised chairs beside the counter, looking over the paintings I had filled in the room all those years ago—when I escaped here for the first time after learning he was my mate. I ate as I reflected on the last decade; at how it had brought us here, with our son now growing inside of me.</p><p>"I want to give birth here," I said after a comfortable silence had befallen us.</p><p>Rhys paused. "Really?" he asked.</p><p>I nodded, resting a hand on the apex of my belly. "It feels right. This is where I accepted our mating bond; where we decided to start trying for a baby, and I'm pretty sure this is where he was conceived too," I said with a smile, having done the math in my head. By the time I realized I was pregnant, on Starfall, I was already a couple of months along; meaning our attempt to conceive on Winter Solstice—as we did every year, had been successful</p><p>He smirked in return at the memory; it was somewhat of a tradition he made of bringing me here on my birthday. "My mother gave birth to me, and my sister, in this cabin," he said. "With the help of some Illryian midwives and some camp-mothers."</p><p>"Then it's perfect," I said softly.</p><p>He reached down to stroke my stomach gently. "I want to be there," he said. "In the room, while you give birth. Through all of it actually. I know it isn't traditionally done, my own father waited outside the room both times, but I want to be there and hold your hand when my son comes into the world. Just the thought of you going through labor, of enduring all that pain <em>alone</em>," he shook his head as if to erase it from his mind. I squeezed his hand reassuringly.</p><p>"I wouldn't want you anywhere else, Rhysand." I said, not at all surprised at his declaration.</p><p>A week after Eira's birth, Viviane and Kallias had both sent us letters-informing us of their daughter's arrival, fawning over her beauty and detailing how infatuated they already were, but also informing us of their own accounts of what the birthing process had been like. At the summit, Viviane expressed that she knew what to expect, but in her letter, she elaborated just how excruciating it really was. Luckily, Kallias had also been there with her, providing her with whatever support she needed and relieving as much of the pain as he could through back massages, also letting her clutch onto him for dear life as she suffered through pain after pain. I wasn't sure what Kallias had told Rhys in his letter, but shortly after my mate had summoned Madja and asked the healer to guide us through exactly what to anticipate.</p><p>"Are you nervous?" He asked.</p><p>I chewed on my lip in thought, recounting the gruesome details that both Viviane and the healer had laid out for me. The pain alone would come in constant, violent waves, and could last as long as a day.</p><p>"A little," I admitted. "But I know I'll be much more comfortable here; with you there."</p><p>"I'll be there every step of the way and do whatever I can to ease the pain." He promised, taking my hand and pressing a lingering kiss to it.</p><p>I smiled. "It'll be just the two of us, Madja, and the midwife."</p><p>The healer had told us that she worked with her sister, who served as a midwife for just as long as she had been a healer, when delivering younglings. Rhys and I readily agreed to have her along and made a plan to meet with her once I came closer to the end stages of my pregnancy.</p><p>I squeezed the hand that held mine, staring at the new tattoo that had formed from his renewed vow he made at the beginning of my pregnancy—when he promised not to let his male-bonded instincts shelter me unnecessarily. I ran my thumb over the crescent moon design.</p><p>"Do you think," I hesitated, mulling over my words. "Do you think...I'll be good at it?"</p><p>He paused. "At what? Giving birth?"</p><p>I laughed humorlessly, "No, not that. At...being a mother?"</p><p>I avoided his gaze, feeling the weight of those smoldering violet eyes as I continued to stare at the blue-black ink of his tattoo. After a few seconds of silence, his other hand came to grip my chin gently, tilting my head up so that I could meet those beautiful eyes.</p><p>My heart skipped a beat at the sincerity in them. "You will be an amazing mother, Feyre," he swore, his voice earnest.</p><p>My eyes burned as I thought of my own mother; of how imperious and cold she had been towards her daughters. I often wondered how she had felt when she was pregnant with us, because once we were born, she hardly bothered caring for us at all. Did she ever love us? She worshipped my father, her "one true love," but how could she not dote on the fruition of that love? Perhaps she had loved my father for what his wealth provided her instead, and the lavish lifestyle she lived-before she died.</p><p>"You are not your mother, Feyre." Rhys said, his hand moving from my chin to my cheek. "I already see the love you have for our son in your eyes, in your actions, every day."</p><p>I sniffed as I looked down at my stomach, heart swelling as I thought of my son—of how eager I was to hold and cherish him, and I couldn't fathom pushing him away. I nodded lightly as I wiped at the few tears that managed to escape.</p><p>"I just worry sometimes," I admitted.</p><p>Rhys nodded in understanding. "I worry about myself too," he said, and frowned. "I worry about being like my father; that I might be too hard on my son, and that I might age as cold and calculating as he did."</p><p>I shook my head, taking hold of the hand still on my cheek. "You could never Rhys," I said with the same smile I had given him last night—the same emotions in my eyes as I reminded him what this child meant for us.</p><p>I felt the tension leave as he sighed in content, resting his brow against mine as we both stared at my stomach; our thumbs caressing either side of it, holding our baby. I felt him move, sending kicks at both our hands, and we laughed; my chest swelled with hope that perhaps he could feel the love between us—at the love we shared for him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something wasn't right.</p><p>"It doesn't make sense," Cassian said; all of us gathered around the map laid out on the large table in the library. "I've rotated my most trusted legion across every single Illyrian camp since the summit, including the ones we know haven't sided with Kallon—just in case, and <em>nothing</em>."</p><p>Azriel shook his head, as equally astonished as Cassian was at the lack of intel they had been working tirelessly to achieve in the last couple of weeks.</p><p>"My spies haven't found anything either, on any front." He said, hazel eyes growing hard as they scanned over the maps and reports spread out before us.</p><p>Two months had officially passed since our summit meeting and our tenure of peace was now plagued by stress. In the months that passed, Cassian and Azriel worked together to keep a watchful eye on the traitors in our court—the latter keeping his network of spies focused on Keir and his Darkbringer army, while the former kept a strict watch on the rebellious Illyrian camp lords. As our second and third in command, Mor and Amren not only attended to their duties in Velaris, but also visited the Hewn City on mine and Rhys's behalf—a show of force and distraction while Azriel's spies lurked in the shadows. In the last few weeks, Rhys and I corresponded with the other High Lords and Eris, updating them on whatever intel we managed to gather, and them offering us any information they might have regarding the Autumn Court and promising to keep alert on their end.</p><p>But as of late, there was <em>nothing</em>. No movement whatsoever from Keir, Kallon, or Beron.</p><p>We initially received a report a couple of weeks following the summit that our steward had called for a stall in his plans, and because of that we assumed the trio were biding their time in order to regroup and organize new plans to strike before my due date—now a short twenty-odd weeks away, but it was taking them<em> too</em> long.</p><p>No, something definitely wasn't right, and we all knew it.</p><p>"Is it possible they're folding back on the coup?" Elain asked, amid the tense silence that had befallen us.</p><p>Nesta placed a hand on the back of her chair, standing just to her side with Cassian on the other. "Keir wouldn't just give up on killing Feyre, the High Lord, or their child," she said, as blunt as ever.</p><p>I grimaced and Mor threw her a disapproving stare, but Amren loosed a long-held breath through her nose.</p><p>"The girl is right. They aren't pulling back on their plans now, but they are plotting something." she said, turning her silver gaze to Rhys and me.</p><p>I sighed, an idle hand running along the line of my belly—a considerable size now that I was nearing the end of the second stage of pregnancy. The baby inside was mercifully calm in light of the topics we discussed, which I was thankful for since my other symptoms weren't; a dull headache creeping in at my temples since I awoke this morning, and my lower back muscles sore with my new weight.</p><p>I drummed my fingers on the tabletop, readjusting myself in the chair I sat in for the hundredth time since the start of our meeting. "Could Keir be plotting something on his own?" I asked as Rhys offered me a hand up, wanting to help mitigate some of the ache in my back and hips temporarily.</p><p>"It's possible," he answered as I took his hand, standing with a heavy sigh.</p><p>I kneaded a sore spot on my back as I turned to look at Cassian and Azriel—who were watching me with equal concern and glancing at my swollen stomach. "Your reports say that Kallon hasn't corresponded much lately with Keir?" I asked, addressing Azriel.</p><p>The shadowsinger cast a wary glance at my mate, something they had all begun doing recently anytime they had bad news to share—as if they were afraid the information would harm me or the baby. The only ones who didn't tip-toe around me were Amren and Nesta, and I was grateful for it. As increasingly uncomfortable as I was becoming the more my belly grew, my mood swings now tended to lean more and more towards irritation. The last thing I needed was everyone trying to handle me as if I were made of porcelain.</p><p>I sighed in frustration. "You don't need to coddle me, Az. None of you do. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't handle reading reports or operating during the threat of a coup." I snapped, harsher than I meant to.</p><p>I felt Rhys rest a hand on the small of my back; knowing he gave the spymaster a curt nod of approval, and Azriel, Mother bless him, dipped his head in apology. "You're right. Most of the messengers sent between them with letters or verbal messages have come from Kallon but have gone ignored in the last few weeks."</p><p>"From what I've seen, the stupid sot has been feeling slighted by that bastard and he's called off sending those imploring letters to the camp lords who haven't yet sided with him." Cassian added, "He's waiting for Keir."</p><p>"Because he knows he needs them," Mor scoffed.</p><p>"The steward is definitely concocting something," Amren said coolly and motioned to my sisters.</p><p>"Tell them what you saw, girl," she said to Elain.</p><p>We all turned to her, Nesta going rigid at her side—nails digging into the wood of Elain's chair.</p><p>"You saw something?" I asked her.</p><p>She frowned as she nodded, scanning the other faces in the room. "I had a vision the other night, of Vassa. She's our ally so I didn't think much of it at first, but last night the vision came to me again and it was...different," she explained, her eyes beginning to go vacant as she recalled the details.</p><p>"What happened in the vision?" Azriel asked, trying to gently coax her back in the conversation.</p><p>Her eyes were still distant as she turned her attention to him, as if he grounded her during these moments. "I saw just her face at first, she looked distraught as she gave some kind of warning. I couldn't make out the exact words," she said, shame quivering her voice as she looked at her lap.</p><p>"That's okay, Elain." Azriel said, stepping closer to her side and to my surprise, Nesta didn't flinch. "What else?" he asked again.</p><p>Elain sighed shakily. "Then, last night...I saw her face again, giving the same warning, and then...a weeping firebird sweeping over land before setting fire to it."</p><p>My eyes went wide, turning to look at Rhys as we both recalled the connection her new vision had with the previous one from months ago. <em>A great-winged animal sweeping over a grassy knoll. </em>Only now we knew that animal was a firebird, one that Elain also warned us of during the war. We all must've had the same realization, because within seconds we exchanged worried glances. Silent conversations passing mind-to-mind between my mate and his brothers, as well as Mor and Amren.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Elain whispered, staring at her lap again. "For not saying anything sooner, I just assumed her warning was about the coup. I didn't get any other details until I saw it in my dreams."</p><p>"You didn't do anything wrong Elain," I said reassuringly. "We're all working with the information we have."</p><p>Rhys nodded. "Cassian and Azriel will go to the Mortal Lands and check in with Vassa, Jurian and Lucien. I'll send a letter ahead of them, and we can hope we get there before Keir does."</p><p>"You think Keir will move against the Mortal Lands?" Nesta asked, silent horror hidden behind those blue-grey eyes.</p><p>"He knows of the ties Lucien has with them. If he can take them down and sever whatever bond Lucien has with the Queen before they can ally with us against him, that's an advantage for him with the Autumn Court," Cassian explained.</p><p>"We need to monitor them as well," I added quickly. "In case<em> Beron</em> decides to work on Keir's behalf to sweeten the pot in whatever deal they've struck."</p><p>"I'll send my spies," Azriel said, nodding at me in acknowledgement.</p><p>"You'll both leave tomorrow," Rhys ordered them. His violet eyes were hardened, wings flaring slightly as they began detailing out new plans.</p><p><em>Go with them.</em> I urged through the bond.</p><p>The hand that held my waist only tightened slightly. <em>I can't leave you behind, Feyre, not with something like this brewing</em></p><p>
  <em>I'll be safe with Mor and Amren here in Velaris.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm going to take you and your sisters to the Cabin until we get word back from Cassian and Azriel. Mor and Amren can guard Velaris</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Or you can leave me and my sisters at the Cabin and meet up with Azriel and Cassian.</em>
</p><p>He gave me a weary look, but I squeezed his hand. <em>The three of us will be safe there. No one outside our family knows of its location, and no one can winnow inside. We'll be taken care of until you three return, and you can keep me updated.</em></p><p>I saw the contemplation swirl in his violet eyes, knew that behind his adamant shields he saw the sense in my words but was still reluctant. His hand came to rest on my stomach carefully, earning a delightful kick from our son—who seemed to have awoken during our silent exchange.</p><p><em>I can't leave you. </em>And even through the bond I could hear the strain in his voice.</p><p>I sighed, but before I could argue further, Cassian cleared his throat. "We'd be better suited if we had the High Lord at our side, since the High Lady is incapacitated at the moment."</p><p>Azriel nodded in agreement, "If there is a threat to the Mortal Lands, we'll need a more competent diplomat present to warn and ready them for the strike."</p><p>Rhys's gaze hardened again as he met his brothers urging stares. They knew as well as I did that my mate was on edge, his nerves only growing more unsettled in recent weeks, making him more protective of me and our child. He hardly left my side at all these past few months, so the opportunity to go out and perform his duties as High Lord would help alleviate the tension growing through our bond once again.</p><p>I squeezed his hand reassuringly, those hardened violet eyes growing softer as they landed on mine. <em>We'll be waiting here, safe, until you come back. Go warn our friends in the Mortal Lands, and then we can finally take care of Keir.</em></p><p>His eyes landed on my stomach once again before he loosed a breath through his nostrils and nodded in acknowledgement at his brothers.</p><hr/><p>"Do you think she's alright?" Elain asked.</p><p>Her quiet inquiry interrupted my stormy thoughts as I stared out the window of the sitting room. Only a couple of hours had passed since the Illyrian brothers carried us up to the safety of the cabin; Cassian holding Nesta, Azriel taking a flushed Elain, and Rhys hauling me and my swollen belly. I had made a sly comment about the burden of my new weight to Rhys in the hopes to ease his apprehensiveness and was glad when he smugly reassured me of his otherworldly strength with his trademark feline grin, before depositing me on the steps leading to the Cabin. My heart tugged at the memory of the two of us having escaped here only weeks before, but we all knew this was the safest place for me and my sisters at the moment. Mor and Amren remained in Velaris, as we had all agreed on, and moved to monitor the city from the House of Wind as an extra precautionary step.</p><p>I turned away from the window, having stared at the mountains surrounding us since Rhys kissed me and my belly goodbye. "Vassa is fierce, and well-guarded thanks to Lucien and Jurian," I reassured her.</p><p>"She's still got that curse," Nesta scoffed from her place on the loveseat across from where Elain sat.</p><p>Elain frowned and I glared at my eldest sister. "Yes, but thanks to the bargain father made for her temporary release, we've been able to extend it and she hasn't been forced into her firebird form in over a decade," I explained.</p><p>"But my visions haven't been wrong yet. What if she <em>is</em> forced into it?" Elain pressed.</p><p>I sighed and crossed over to where she sat, using the arm of the chair to help lower myself onto the plush seat—noting how cautiously Nesta eyed my movements. "We still don't know what your vision meant. Perhaps Vassa shifts into her firebird form in order to aid us in the coup?"</p><p>"She was weeping as she set the fire," Nesta interjected.</p><p>I sighed and pressed a hand against my temple, messaging it lightly in an attempt to relieve the stress beginning to build up. Elain leaned over to rest her hand over mine gently, "Let's talk about something else. You were right, Vassa is strong and we won't know anything until Rhysand, and the others return."</p><p>I nodded in agreement with a faint smile, moving my hand to rest on my stomach. "How have you been feeling? You've been so busy serving as High Lady that Nesta and I haven't seen you much lately," she asked.</p><p>Nesta interrupted before I had a chance to reassure her. "You need to allow yourself more time to rest. You're nearing the end stages of your pregnancy, and the strain of all of <em>this</em> isn't good for your youngling. Let that High Lord and assistant of yours take care of matters from now on," she scolded.</p><p>Elain and I balked at her, equally shocked that she was being so stern with me <em>again</em>. I had noticed fairly early in my pregnancy that Nesta was growing increasingly vigilant of me—concerning herself more with the welfare of the child I carried, and after what Cassian revealed to me weeks ago, I now understood why. Despite her brute facade, she cared about me and worried about the fate of my child; perhaps as any older sister would.</p><p>I swallowed the irrational tears and sob that built up in my throat, a reaction I now involuntarily had every so often, and sat up a little straighter. "It's not that simple," I reasoned. "I'm still High Lady and given the concerning reports and lack of intel we've obtained in the last couple weeks, I've had to work together with Rhys to reach out to the other courts and meet with the rest of the inner circle."</p><p>"They're all thinking the same thing, except maybe Amren. They want you to rest more and let them handle this situation," Nesta went on. "They're just too scared to hurt your feelings or upset you, or whatever idiotic reason it is, not to tell you."</p><p>"Oh, but you aren't afraid to do any of that, are you?" I asked a bit bitterly—beginning to second guess my earlier sentiments.</p><p>"I'm not, because I see the toll this pregnancy is having on you and unlike the others, I'm not afraid to bring it up and say what needs to be said." She argued, hands placed on her lap with striking elegance—even though her words were anything but.</p><p>I hardened my stare at her, our identical blue-grey eyes cold with contempt; hers out of unyielding concern, and mine out of...reluctant understanding. It was no secret that my pregnancy was difficult, increasingly so since the early stages. There were periods of time when I felt fine, energetic and able to accomplish multiple tasks in a day, but there were still days where the lingering nausea and fatigue left me in bed for hours at a time. That, accompanied by the new onslaught of pelvic pains, back aches, and my rush of hormones caused me to be frequently disgruntled. Rhys, being the overbearing mother-hen he always tended to be whenever I felt the least bit poorly, did his best to console me. The others did as well, to the point where I believed they were coddling me. It wasn't until now that I realized they only wanted me to remain at ease; knowing the risk of any stress on me or the baby could be dangerous. Madja had warned us of what complications could arise from that burden, and I knew now that they were all just trying to prevent it.</p><p>My gaze cracked as tears sprang back into my eyes and turned away as they burned. I took a few steadying breaths, Elain's hand coming to my shoulder to help soothe me as she slid closer to me on our shared seat. "I didn't try insisting I go with them to the Mortal Lands or anything. I'm letting them handle the situation, but as High Lady I need to oversee the operations."</p><p>"Yes, but you're burdening yourself with worry." Elain offered softly. "You've been taking on work that you could leave to your mate or the others."</p><p>"Like that meeting with Tamlin." Nesta reminded me and I frowned, remembering the toll that trip had taken on me at the time.</p><p>"Or insisting you attend all the meetings on the reports Cassian and Azriel have gathered. Rhys can attend to those and fill you in later," Elain added.</p><p>"The point is that you need to delegate more. You were off to a good start after the summit meeting, coming here with your mate and spending time with the others, but you've overloaded yourself far too much over the last couple of weeks." Nesta concluded.</p><p>I sighed, leaning back to rest against the plush seat and ran my hands over my protruding stomach, feeling my son beginning to stir from the occasional nap he took in the warmth and protection my womb offered. Every point they brought up was right; while we all had allowed ourselves a moment of peace following the summit, I had taken the anxiety of the recent reports Cassian and Azriel gathered and threw myself back into working to find a solution. Rhys had as well, but I knew there were times he wished I would retire to our room or at least sit when my aches and pains reared its ugly head.</p><p>"I know you two are right, it's just...difficult, at times. I am High Lady; my duty is to my court—alongside Rhys." I explained.</p><p>"But <em>he</em> isn't pregnant. You are, and your first duty is to the child you carry," Nesta insisted.</p><p>"The child who will be the heir to the Night Court," Elain said.</p><p>I nodded in understanding, but before I could agree with them, there was a frantic pounding at the door, followed by Mor's panicked voice behind it.</p><p>"Feyre, it's us. Let us in," she said.</p><p>Nesta was the first to stand and rather than take the hand I stuck out to help me up, she strode over to the cabin door, checked to make sure it was really Mor the voice belonged to and opened it. Elain helped me to my feet as Mor and Amren strode into the room with equal grim expressions. I noted both of their clothes were dirty, some scrapes and fresh cuts healing on their own that decorated their face and arms—my heart squeezed.</p><p>"What's wrong, what happened?" I asked, my voice sounding strangled.</p><p>Mor's brown eyes were broken as they met mine and she swallowed, "Vassa showed up on the front steps of the house, beaten and bruised, and crying...as she warned us to leave."</p><p>My heart nearly stopped, and I felt Elain go rigid beside me; her hand coming to cover her mouth in horror. "We tried to ask her what was wrong, and what happened back in the Mortal Lands to have brought her here now, but-" Mor began but stopped, her throat bobbing.</p><p>"She kept warning us to leave before anyone got hurt, before <em>you</em> got hurt, and her face went blank. She turned and transitioned to her firebird form, leaping to the skies...and began setting Velaris aflame," Amren finished bitterly.</p><p>I couldn't hold steady on my feet and I stumbled back into Elain's arms as my head began to spin—speechless. Velaris was on fire. Velaris, my home, was under attack again.</p><p>"Did you...is she...what…?" I couldn't even manage my thoughts as Elain held me upright.</p><p>Mor stepped forward and took hold of my arms, steadying me. "She disappeared after a few minutes, but not before setting many of the buildings along the Sidra on fire."</p><p>The Rainbow. Vassa had set the Rainbow of Velaris aflame.</p><p>"We sent word to Rhysand and the others but haven't heard anything back yet. I also sent word to Varian, perhaps Tarquin can help put out the flames," Amren said.</p><p>"W-What?" I asked breathlessly, my chest heaving. "The fires haven't been put out yet?!"</p><p>"It's spread quickly, we're doing our best, but without Cassian and Azriel to gather the Illyrian force…" Mor explained and our eyes met in mutual understanding.</p><p>I was the one they could turn to—rely on.</p><p>"Take me back," I ordered, still reeling. "I'll put out the flames myself. We can't wait for Tarquin or anyone else."</p><p>"Feyre, you can't use-" Nesta began but I snapped at her with a feral growl I hardly believed came from my own throat.</p><p>"This is my court. My <em>home</em>. I am High Lady and I <em>demand</em> you take me back <em>now</em>." I said, addressing them all.</p><p>Mor and Amren exchanged hesitant glances before the former spoke up. "I'd have to winnow you there Feyre, and you know the effect it has on you. You could faint and have to recuperate, there isn't enough time for that. Even if you could use your powers," she tried to reason.</p><p>"So we wait here and do nothing?!" I exclaimed, turning away from her hold on me and striding to the window.</p><p>I could see nothing from here, but as I closed my eyes the memories of the last attack flashed behind my lids. The screams of agony and despair as my people were attacked—ripped to shreds by the army of the Attor from Hybern. Nausea roiled in my gut as I reached down the bond.</p><p>
  <em>Rhys. Where are you?</em>
</p><p>I was met with silence, and I could only guess what horrors my mate and his brothers were facing in the Mortal realm—for him to block me out. If Vassa had been here, who knew what threat had been made and who had orchestrated it all. My heart pounded as my power awakened inside of me, boiling in my veins and I tried not to tap into them as I felt the slight twinge of pain in my abdomen—until thoughts of Velaris kept invading my thoughts. The screams echoing in my head, trying to imagine those beautiful buildings now on fire. Thoughts of Ressina and our studio, of the children she was teaching, those innocents.</p><p>Everyone in Velaris was innocent, and they were on <em>fire</em>. I had to do <em>something</em>.</p><p>
  <em>Dosomething.Dosomething.Dosomething</em>
</p><p>I couldn't hear whatever conversation was happening between my sisters, Mor, and Amren as I lingered by the window. All I could do was turn back to them, briefly meeting Mor's gaze before those brown eyes widened in realization. She opened her mouth to protest, but she was too late. In the blink of an eye, I became darkness—tapping into my power that had gone untouched for months, I winnowed onto the front courtyard of the estate that sat along the Sidra's edge. I stumbled forward on my hands and knees as my head spun, my ears roaring with the blood rushing to my head and it took every effort within me not to faint—to seize the darkness that threatened to overcome me and push it back.</p><p>My heart pounded, the pain thundering throughout my entire body, resounding excruciatingly in my head as I forced myself to stay conscious and I was finally able to raise my eyes to the nightmare before me. I saw the orange and red of the flames reflected in the river first, barely able to hear the screaming as I saw each and every building lining the Sidra ablaze. From my position in the courtyard, I could see the figures of citizens scrambling to put out the flames; could see the number of buildings extending backwards that were already lit. I sobbed as another painful twinge ripped through my abdomen, causing me to turn my head and vomit in the grass.</p><p>Sobbing again, I closed my eyes and felt my power simmering rather than boiling. Just enough to breathe it into my core as I raised a single hand in the air and slammed it back onto the ground with a lethal smack. Once again, as it had so many years ago, the Sidra rose in response and I summoned just enough strength to lean back onto my knees—raising both of my hands in the air above my head as I became the river. Shaking, I slowly stood, keeping my arms raised as a wall of water rose with me; expanding deep and wide before I walked forward.</p><p>Suddenly, it felt as if my abdomen was being ripped to shreds and I screamed, doubling over and sending that wall of water forward and over those buildings. I didn't have time to pray to the Mother, the Cauldron, <em>anything</em> in hopes that it had been enough to snuff out the flames before I was seized again with the pain that tore through my core. I gasped in breaths as I gripped my stomach with one hand and fell onto my knees—catching myself with the other.</p><p>
  <em>No, no, no. Please…</em>
</p><p>I felt a trickle of liquid that quickly began to spread at the apex of my thighs and sobbed as I reached a hand under the band of my pants and touched my thigh. I screamed again as the agony ripped through my abdomen again and fell onto my side. I felt the darkness beginning to ebb around my vision, the pain going with it as I raised that shaky hand to my face. The last thing I saw before my world went entirely dark was bright red blood coating my fingers.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A myriad of voices and faces faded in and out of darkness—surrounding me as I fought desperately to make sense of it all. Excruciating spasms ebbed in and out, leaving me unable to focus long enough to figure out where the pain was coming from. Perhaps it was all over my body, but during a particularly brutal wave; when I could hear myself crying out, I knew it came from my core. I saw Rhysand's face in the midst of my agony, his violet eyes like shattered glass and lined with silver—glimmering starlight falling down his face. It was so beautiful, but it seemed the night itself was weighing me down and I couldn't ask what caused him so much despair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Twilight continued to envelope me, and I couldn't discern it from anything else. From the moment it took hold, it felt as if I were floating—images of concerned faces flashing across my vision every so often as my abdomen continued to throb. I knew those faces, knew their voices, but couldn't recognize anyone but my mate. He was my tether among the stars I drifted along in, until my world went dark once again.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Sunlight peeked through half-closed curtains—my curtains, I realized, as I made out the details of my bedroom. I blinked slowly as I looked around the familiar settings, my breath hitching in my throat as images of blood and pain came surging back to memory.</p><p>
  <em>You're all right Feyre, it's okay</em>
</p><p>I turned at the sound of Rhys's voice, even through the bond, as he moved from the chair at my bedside to sit beside me. He looked like hell; his hair a disheveled mess with dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes, face still stained from those beautiful tears I remembered. My eyes went wide as I recalled where the pain had stemmed from and my hands flew to my stomach, gripping the fabric of my dressing gown.</p><p>"He's okay," Rhys breathed. His hand held mine, both of ours holding my stomach.</p><p>I was still pregnant. My son was <em>alive</em>.</p><p>I felt that all too familiar glimmer, my eyes slipping shut in relief as I sobbed. I gripped my stomach with both hands and sobbed again as I felt him move. Rhys bent down to press a kiss to my forehead before pressing his against it gently. He held my face as I cried, relieved, and I moved my hands to grip his shoulders as they shook lightly—his own tears mixing with mine as we held each other.</p><p><em>I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Rhys. </em>I said down the bond, prepared to plead for forgiveness.</p><p>"Don't apologize Feyre. You have nothing to be sorry for," he said as he pulled back just enough for our eyes to meet.</p><p>"I put him at risk," I whispered as I stifled another sob in my throat. "I-I used my powers, and not even five minutes later I started cramping. I-I shouldn't have-" I sobbed again, and he shook his head, brushing the tears from my cheeks.</p><p>"You acted as High Lady. You did what you had to do for our city while I was away," he said, but I could hear the same anger that I held against myself laced in his voice. It was subtle, but it was there.</p><p>I opened my mouth to argue, but there was a gentle knock at the door followed by the voice of our healer. "It's me, my lord. I've felt the High Lady wake and need to reevaluate her current state."</p><p>Rhys pressed another kiss to my brow and straightened, waving a hand to unlock the door; allowing Madja to let herself in. The dark-skinned female smiled warmly at me as she approached my bedside.</p><p>"How are you feeling, lady?" She asked.</p><p>I sniffed and did a quick evaluation of myself. I was sore and weary—my usual fatigue exemplified by whatever my body had just been through. "Tired...and aching, but no pain." I answered, deciding that honesty would be my best course of action. I wouldn't take a chance on my son's safety again.</p><p>She nodded in understanding. "That's to be expected. You've been through a tremendous few days," she said.</p><p>My eyes widened. "It's been days?"</p><p>"Just two. You were out after the initial attack, which took place in the afternoon. You slept all day yesterday after Madja healed you," Rhys explained, taking my hand and squeezing it reassuringly—though I could hear the lingering ache in his voice.</p><p>"I was able to put you in a trance of sorts, while you healed, in order to allow your body the ample time it needed to recover before you regained consciousness," Madja said, her tone growing serious as she met my gaze.</p><p>"However, my lady, the extraordinary use of your powers that day; noble and vital as they were in saving our city, did cause a strain on your womb. The muscles that line the area holding your youngling contracted, causing some minor tearing and bleeding."</p><p>I felt Rhys's agony flicker through our bond as he heard the words, no doubt thinking back to what those initial moments must've been like—when I was floating in and out of consciousness and crying out from the pain. "This caused your body to enter premature labor, but I was able to stop it, heal the tear, and stop the bleeding in sufficient time," she finished explaining.</p><p>A few more tears slid down my face as I closed my eyes, returning a hand to hold my stomach gently—afraid that even the slightest touch would reopen the wound in my newly repaired muscles. The healer placed a reassuring hand over mine.</p><p>"You are resilient my lady. You and your youngling are strong. Not only did you fight for his survival, your healing blood doing what it could at the time, but your youngling did as well. As I was tending to your wounds, I felt the power in his blood attempting to sustain his environment—that healing power you have passed onto him. Part of the agony you felt was not only premature labor pains, but also your youngling restoring the injury to your womb."</p><p>My eyes widened at the revelation and I looked at Rhys, who also looked as if this was the first time he was hearing it. "But this does mean you will need to remain on strict bed rest until further notice. My medicinal process will continue over the course of the next few weeks. It is slow, but successful. Your youngling is safe now, but your body and his need this time to continue to rest and recuperate. I also want to ensure that the muscles I repaired remain intact and regain its strength. Allow me to check on that progress now," she continued before placing her hands on either side of my stomach. Healing magic flowed through those hands as I turned to face Rhys.</p><p>He squeezed my hand again. <em>He has your healing powers. He...was healing you</em></p><p>I covered my mouth to stifle a sob. <em>Everything she warned us of, all the risks and complications...I've brought them on myself, and on our baby.</em></p><p>
  <em>Don't say that Feyre. This is not your fault.</em>
</p><p><em>Of course it is!</em> I winced as a light spasm flowed through me, but Madja's restorative touch gently dissolved it.</p><p>Her weary eyes met mine. "My lady, it is imperative that you do not put any additional stress on yourself at this time. Physically, or emotionally."</p><p>I nodded and breathed in a deep sigh, both of Rhys's hands gripping mine as Madja went back to her work. <em>Please Feyre. Don't blame yourself for this</em></p><p>I saw the hurt sparkling in his eyes, the heartbreak, and realized the anger I saw earlier wasn't directed at me. <em>It's not your fault either, Rhysand.</em></p><p>
  <em>I shouldn't have left you here in your condition. It was a mistake assuming you and Velaris would be safe with the threat of a coup on the horizon</em>
</p><p>Through the bond, I could feel the remorse he had spent the last two days ruminating in—believing himself to be at fault for my current state. We were blaming ourselves, when in truth the accountability lied in our attackers; each of us having to respond accordingly. A seed of blame still lived in me, because deep down I had known using my powers to such an extent was a risk. I didn't anticipate it causing as much damage as it did, and I would never forgive myself for it. The regret that resided in Rhys, however, was from leaving his pregnant mate behind.</p><p><em>We can't be racked with this guilt, Rhys. We had no idea this would happen</em>. I said through the bond, brushing my thumb along his lightly as I curled against his mental shields.</p><p>I saw the inner turmoil he battled with in his violet eyes as he kept himself closed off for the time being, fighting his male-bonded instincts that caused him to be vehemently angry at himself for believing he abandoned his weak and vulnerable mate—all the while trying to convince himself that he hadn't. Finally, I felt him lower his shields and let him hold me through the bond; felt his engulfing warmth and security.</p><p>
  <em>You're right</em>
</p><p>It was all he could manage as I felt the emotions swirl through him, and on that bridge that connected us, I held him just as securely as he held me.</p><p>Madja moved her hands from my stomach with a satisfied nod. "Everything is as it should be, the recovery you made while unconscious was substantial, but for the next week or so, you are to remain in bed and must pass over your duties as High Lady for the time being. I will be in daily to monitor your condition, and after this initial period of strict confinement, we'll see about you returning to some of those duties."</p><p>I nodded my understanding and so did Rhys. "I'll make sure she gets more than the adequate amount of rest she needs," he said, voice still strained.</p><p>"I have no doubt about that my lord, but you must also allot yourself some time to rest," the healer said, turning her full attention to my mate. "You haven't gotten a wink of sleep since I arrived. I understand your mating bond is very fragile, and I can't imagine the stress you must be under as High Lord, mate, husband, and now the expectant father."</p><p>She placed a gentle hand on my mate's shoulder. "You must also take care of yourself for your mate's benefit. Sleep, eat, and allow yourself to attend to your duties as High Lord and turn her care over to the others. They worry for both of your well-being and would be glad to do whatever they can to help."</p><p>I frowned as Rhys's shoulders tensed a bit at her words, and for clarification he allowed me past a layer of his adamant walls. There I saw the memories of the time I remained unconscious—how he guarded my side night and day and locked the rest of our family out; physically and mentally. He passed messages through the healer as she was the only one allowed in and out of our room, and the others didn't push—despite how distraught he knew they were over my condition. They tried to bring him food and water, but he remained closed off, locking himself away with me until now.</p><p><em>I shouldn't have shut them out.</em> He admitted through the bond. <em>But until you were awake, until I knew everything would be okay...I just couldn't bring myself to face them or let them near you, or do anything else for that matter</em></p><p>I sighed and squeezed his hand gently. "I'll take care of him, Madja," I reassured the healer.</p><p>She nodded. "That's good to hear," she said before turning to her bag of supplies. "Now, I'm prescribing an herbal tea mixture for you to consume twice a day. Once in the morning, and then at night. This will aid in your recovery and work to help you slowly regain more energy. I'm mixing it with your prenatal herbal mixture to continue supplementing your youngling as well." She mixed together the concoction on the spot, using her own powers to brew a cup for me and handed me the mug.</p><p>I cringed as I attempted to sit up on my own, but Rhys already had an arm around my back to keep me upright. The healer offered me a wry smile, "You'll continue to be sore for the next few days, so please, take even the slightest movements with great caution."</p><p>I nodded and held the cup of tea to my lips, taking a sip. "Thank you Madja, for everything," I said, hoping she saw the sincerity in my eyes.</p><p>She nodded again with a slight bow. "Of course, my lady," she turned to Rhys. "I'll go inform the others of the Lady's recovery and return tomorrow afternoon."</p><p>"Thank you." Rhys said, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. She smiled again before excusing herself, leaving my mate and I alone.</p><p>I took another sip of my tea as Rhys adjusted himself to sit on the bed, keeping me upright. "The city is secure," he said softly, and my heart skipped a beat. "Your wall of water put out all the flames, and the palace lords were able to arrange for repairs to the damaged buildings right away."</p><p>Tears of relief slid down my cheeks as I held my brew at my lips, allowing the steam from the cup to warm my face and keep me at ease. "Our home is safe again...?" I whispered.</p><p>He pressed a kiss to my temple. "Everyone is safe, Feyre. <em>Everyone</em>," he reassured. He knew my worry for Ressina and my other painter friends; the younglings we taught in my studio and their parents. The innocent lives I fought and would always fight to protect.</p><p>
  <em>Defender of the Rainbow</em>
</p><p>I sighed heavily and slowly turned in his arms to meet his gaze. "What happened...in the Mortal Lands? Why did Vassa come here?" I asked, knowing she had not done this willingly.</p><p>Rhys sighed as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind my ear, his violet eyes going distant as he recalled the details. "Cassian, Azriel, and I arrived at the queen's palace up in flames. Lucien was doing his best to calm them while he ordered the guards to put them out. He said it happened so fast," he began, and I frowned.</p><p>"Beron arrived with one of the generals of his armies, and with the sorcerer who cursed Vassa. We don't know how he managed to find him, but he forced Vassa into her firebird form and cast her to the skies to begin wreaking havoc. He had complete control over her," He sighed as he closed his eyes. "Lucien and Beron had a confrontation before unleashing his army to attack and Jurian took over and led their armies to fight back. We arrived after Beron and the sorcerer vanished with Vassa, and Lucien doing what he could to put out the flames on the palace while Jurian and the mortal forces continued to battle against the Autumn Court army. He had already sent word to Tamlin for help, but we jumped in and started fighting on their behalf until they arrived. We were worried about where Beron would take Vassa next, and I... I had a bad feeling. I wanted to come back to Velaris as soon as possible; wanted to come back to <em>you</em>. Cassian was about to send word to Devlon, to gather our legions that haven't turned yet, when I felt it-"</p><p>His breath hitched and I saw his throat bob before he went on, voice hoarse. "I felt a tug on the bond...not from you, but from our son." He touched my stomach with a gulp. "That normal glimmer was a hot spark, a cry for help, and I knew something was wrong. I winnowed back to Velaris immediately, right at your side, only seconds after you collapsed...and then I saw the blood..."</p><p>I reached my arms around his shoulders as he collapsed into tears, the memory of me lying in the grass unconscious and bleeding now overwhelming him. I wrapped my arms around him as he buried his face into the crook of my neck, his arms encircling my waist as he cried. Dropping my emptied mug to the floor, I held him—my own tears falling as I buried my face in his hair and rubbed soothing circles on his back.</p><p>After a few minutes he pulled back to meet my gaze, a hand going to hold my stomach gently. "I thought I was going to lose you, and our son, and I couldn't bear it. I brought you inside the estate just as Mor arrived with Madja. She knew you would need help, but she was horrified when she saw your condition. I laid you down right there, in the foyer, so Madja could get to work, but you were fading," he squeezed his eyes shut at the memory.</p><p>I brushed against his mental shields, asking him to show me rather than tell me of the events that transpired, and he hesitated before letting me in. I saw myself lying on the marbled ground, pale, as the healer had her hands pressed to my stomach—hands glowing with her healing magic. I heard the voices of the others—panicked and yelling as they arrived at the estate. Then I heard myself groaning and whimpering in agony, and I remembered from my own harrowing memories that I thought I had been screaming. Instead, I was on the floor, crying and pleading incoherently as Madja healed me and then met Rhysand's eyes. I looked into my own dull grey-blue eyes and was overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness that my mate had endured.</p><p>I pushed away from his thoughts, unable to look at myself any longer and sobbed. "I'm sorry I put you through that Rhysand. I... how can you ever forgive me?"</p><p>He captured my lips with his, pleading and adoring and forgiving as he kissed me. "You and our son are safe. That's all that matters to me now," he whispered before kissing me again.</p><p>I kissed him back, holding his face and brushing away the tears from his cheek with my thumbs as he did the same. "I would be so furious...how are you not furious with me? How are the others not-" I choked.</p><p>He met my gaze meaningfully. "I couldn't be furious with you for doing what you have always done, Feyre. I was scared, I still am, but I spent the last two days praying to the Mother, that you would just wake up."</p><p>His thumbs stroked my cheeks gently as starlight danced behind his violet eyes. "I can't tell you how relieved I am that you and our son are safe," he kissed me again. "For that reason, I can't be angry."</p><p>I sniffed as I kissed him back, holding his wrists gently as he held my face. "I'll be careful from now on," I promised. "I'll let you coddle and fuss over me all you want."</p><p>A tired laugh escaped past his lips and my heart fluttered at the sound, glad to see a smile return to his handsome face. "I'll hold you to that, Feyre darling," he said with quiet amusement.</p><p>We held each other; brows pressed together as we moved to stare at my stomach. Our son was quiet, but I could feel his subtle movements. Rhys caressed it gently, earning a kick to his palm and he smiled again. "Still so strong," he whispered.</p><p>"He's amazing...and he's still growing," I said as I brushed my fingertips along the expanse of my belly.</p><p>"Thank the Mother," Rhys said as he moved down to press a kiss at the apex of my stomach.</p><p>I brushed my fingers through his hair as he stayed by my belly, restoring it back from the mess it had been from his stressed hands mussing it up. "I think I know what we should name him," I mused.</p><p>"What's that?" he asked.</p><p>"Sebastian."</p><p>"Sebastian?"</p><p>I nodded and ran a hand along the top of my stomach, "It suits him...don't you think?"</p><p>Sebastian. Venerable, and strong—which our youngling most certainly was. Rhys's eyes warmed as his hand rested atop mine. "It's perfect."</p><p>Our son must've agreed, because rather than a kick of protest under our palms, we felt that intimate glimmer flutter through our bond—strong as ever. Rhys let out a long breath, and I noticed the tension finally leaving his shoulders as he laid beside me; our joined hands lingering on my stomach as we stared at it until we both slipped into an easeful sleep.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Being on strict bed rest was going to be a lot harder than I originally anticipated.</p><p>After the first couple of days, wherein Madja assured my mate and I that I was making excellent progress in my recovery, I began to grow mindlessly bored. During those first few days, Rhys continued his vigil at my side, but mercifully slept and ate when I did. He reopened his line of communication with our friends in the estate, talking with them mind-to-mind and updating them on my condition. He also relayed any messages they had for me, allowing me past his mental shields so I could hear their words directly. After hearing Mor practically beg to see me after the umpteenth time, I informed my mate that it was time to put an end to our isolation period. His male-bonded instincts made him reluctant at first, but after I reminded him of the instructions given to him by our healer—to allow our friends, our<em> family</em>, to take care of the both of us, he acquiesced.</p><p>Now, a week later, I was more than content when they took turns visiting me. Sometimes they would visit in pairs—my sisters, Mor and Amren, Cassian and Azriel, or sometimes all at once; I was almost never bored now that I had their company. However, this period of confinement to my bed set the others on a new protective edge I had never seen before. Before the incident, they had all done their best to help me whenever I was uncomfortable, or when some pregnancy-related symptom reared its ugly head. When I would mention the strange dreams I had at night, Amren brought me a book on the philosophies of dreaming and what they might mean; while Mor theorized how we could interpret them. When a certain flower in Elain's garden had stirred nausea in my stomach, she removed them. When I watched Azriel and Cassian training in the pit and somehow grew a charlie-horse in my calf from sitting too long with my legs tucked underneath me, Cassian massaged the spot while Azriel offered advice on how to stretch my muscles safely while I remained unable to train during my pregnancy.</p><p>Their care was subtle; it was the little things here and there that they did for me while Rhys waited on my hand and foot—or as much as I would allow him to. Now that I was restricted to my bed, only allowed up to use the washing room or to bathe, they <em>all</em> tended to me. They wanted to help in whatever way they could, sometimes bringing me food and drinks when they visited, or sometimes bringing different books or other forms of entertainment. My appreciation only grew when, after the third day of my lying-in and receiving another excellent progress report of my recovery from Madja, Rhys finally left my side in order to meet with Palace Lords or with his Commander of armies and spymaster.</p><p>Velaris was still working towards rebuilding and managing repairs after the fire. Not unlike the first attack from Hybern, there were many shops, studios, and galleries that had been destroyed. Thankfully, the studio Ressina and I had established for the children of Velaris only suffered minimal damages, but my heart ached at the thought of those whose establishments were beyond repair. After a decade of peace, of healing from the war, they now had to start all over again. The only thing quelling my grief was the knowledge that Rhys and I had the funds necessary to allocate towards helping make those repairs and helping those who were now misplaced by the fires. That, and the societies that had been formed after the war worked tirelessly with volunteers to restore the Rainbow to its former glory. It would take time, but I was glad to know that, only a week after the attack, our citizens were determined and inspired to work together despite this tragedy that had befallen them—<em>again</em>.</p><p>"Are we starting this morning with those somber thoughts, my love?" Rhys asked softly, his arm draped around me as we lay in bed.</p><p>I was still too tired, too <em>weak</em>, to try and hold up my shields of adamant—so instead I left them down, allowing Rhys to hear my concerns or complaints through my thoughts. I sighed as I turned to face him, smiling lazily as those powerful hands gripped my hips gently to help me turn.</p><p>I touched his cheek gently, his violet eyes half lidded—still heavy from sleep. "I just feel...terrible," I started. "I can't help them by volunteering like I did after the war."</p><p>Rhys nodded his understanding, moving the hand on my hip to my stomach. "No one expects that of you, Feyre, especially in your condition. Even if you weren't on bedrest, they would probably insist you take it easy regardless," he said before moving his hand from my stomach to my cheek.</p><p>"You saved the city from burning to the ground. That was a sacrifice our people know you made given your current circumstances, and they are <em>so</em> grateful," he pressed a kiss to my brow. "The last thing they want is to see their recovering High Lady lift another finger."</p><p>I gave him a wry smile, "It's the last thing that <em>they</em> want or that <em>you</em> want?"</p><p>He kissed me full on the lips before offering a feline grin. "Semantics. Now let me say good morning to my son," he said before caressing my stomach, angling his head to stare at it lovingly.</p><p>He beamed when he felt that glimmer beneath his touch, our son greeting him before moving around excitedly. "Good morning, Bash," he said as he continued to stroke the swell of my belly.</p><p>"I'm still not sold on the nickname," I said as I brushed my fingers over the tattoos on his shoulder.</p><p>"We could go with Bastion, that also has a good connotation associated with it," Rhys suggested with a smirk.</p><p>I laughed and pinched his shoulder. "Our poor son will be so confused by his own name," I half-heartedly lamented.</p><p>"Nonsense, he'll know that his name comes with strength, regardless of a nickname. Won't you, Bash?" he asked my belly before lifting my dressing gown in order to place a tender kiss on my bare skin.</p><p>I smiled as he came back to give me another kiss and I melted into him with a rueful sigh. Along with limited mobility and being subjected to my bed, Madja had informed us that we also could not engage in "other mated activities." As much as I enjoyed other forms of intimacy with my mate that didn't involve sex, I couldn't help but feel an ache from our lack of activity.</p><p>"I miss it too," he purred in my ear and I shuddered.</p><p>He pulled away with a roguish grin and I pouted—actually pouted as I watched him disappear into the bathing room for a few minutes before reappearing and dressing for the day. Now that he allowed himself to part from me, he met daily with Cassian and Azriel to go over reports, taking extra care to look out for any updates and intel gathered from the Autumn Court. After what Beron pulled on us, Mor sent out an initial warning to the other courts while Rhys and I were incapacitated. We didn't know where the male would strike next, so as third-in-command, Mor warned them of the possibility that they might be targeted. Mercifully, the High Lord of Autumn hadn't unleashed Vassa onto the other courts—according to their responses, but that left all of Prythian on edge.</p><p>Cassian had implemented his security protocols along our borders, working with the legion of Illyrians he recruited and trusted hadn't turned with the rebels. Our neighbors and other allies had done the same, leaving all eyes on the Autumn Court. Azriel and his network of spies were continuing their work in the shadows, gathering whatever information they could, but as far as any of us knew, Autumn had closed themselves off from the rest of the continent. Their own borders were tightened; wards set in place above their territory as well, making it even more difficult for Azriel to work. However, according to letters being exchanged with the other courts, Helion offered his assistance to the spymaster; having made the plans to infiltrate those borders last night.</p><p>The meeting this morning would be crucial; detailing whatever Azriel had been able to gather, along with more reports from the Hewn City. As stated by the shadowsinger's recent reports from his network of spies established in the Court of Nightmares, Keir had cut all ties with Beron, and we had yet to know if that was prior to or after the attack the Autumn male had released on us. Hopefully this morning's briefing would answer that question.</p><p>"Hold the meeting here," I said to Rhys after he finished buttoning the collar of his black tunic.</p><p>He hesitated, but before he could protest, I cut in. "I'll stay here in bed, I promise. There's plenty of room in our suite for Cassian and Azriel to come in and go over the reports."</p><p>Rhys sighed and sat on the edge of the bed as I pushed myself upright. "Madja instructed you to turn over your duties as High Lady, for the time being. No additional stress, remember?"</p><p>"Yes, I know, but you're just going to inform me of everything that's said regardless. That's what you've been doing, remember?" I challenged.</p><p>His answering smile was crooked. "You're right," he started, his hand coming to rest on my stomach again.</p><p>I eyed him warily, "I'm sensing a 'but.'"</p><p>He sighed. "But I don't want whatever Az comes back with to stir up any stress and cause you harm."</p><p>I crossed my arms, noting how they now propped over the mound of my stomach. "So, you were planning to sugarcoat it for me later?" I asked with a raised brow.</p><p>"No of course not, Feyre." He sighed heavily, running a hand over his slick dark hair.</p><p>Through the bond I could feel him battle with his instincts—his primal need to protect me and our son in our already fragile state. I softened a bit as I watched him struggle to find words before I placed a hand on his.</p><p>"I've made great improvements this week, Rhys. Madja confirmed that soon I would be able to return to a light workload, so let me start small. I'll stay in bed while the three of you go over the reports, just these reports, and then you can go about the rest of your duties today and I'll spend the afternoon with my sisters here." I suggested, remembering the ways my sisters had insisted I ease-up on my workload and knew that I would need to implement them for the duration of my pregnancy. The bed rest had enforced this with stricter rules than I originally expected, but I had to admit it was nice to take a step back. Once the strict confinement was lifted however, I wanted to at least handle a little bit of my responsibilities as High Lady until my time came nearer.</p><p>"Just this one meeting, in the comfort of our room, is all I ask Rhys." I offered with a squeeze of his hand.</p><p>He nodded and squeezed my hand back. "This one meeting, and <em>maybe</em> a couple more after your bed rest is over." He said, having heard my thoughts through my unshielded mind.</p><p>I rolled my eyes but nodded in agreement as he helped out of bed, holding me under my elbows as I slowly moved from the edge of the bed to a standing position before him. A part of me felt moving this slowly was an exaggeration but necessary.</p><p>"It is," Rhys said, flicking the tip of my nose as I stood before him. "Necessary."</p><p>I stuck my tongue out at him, "Stay out of my head. Just because I'm too weak to throw my shields up doesn't mean every last thought is up for grabs." He laughed and moved an arm around my waist as we made our slow trek to the adjoining bathing room.</p><p>I had been a bit mortified, at first, when Rhys had to help me perform basic functions—like sitting on the toilet, but my mate hadn't been deterred. After a decade of helping me change out of blood-soaked undergarments during my cycle, I shouldn't have been so flustered, but this felt so different. Still, Rhys didn't so much as bat an eye when he helped me to relieve myself or when he helped me into the tub to bathe—<em>that</em> he actually enjoyed. After a week, I still flushed on our trips to the bathing room, despite his constant reassurance that I shouldn't be embarrassed of my bodily functions—especially in front of him.</p><p>After I bathed, which he still tried to insist he do for me—to which I always retorted that I wasn't an invalid despite being on bed rest, he led me back to our room and I sat in my robe as he dug through my armoire.</p><p>"Find me something more official," I said. "Not just leggings and a blouse."</p><p>Rhys threw an amused brow at me over his shoulder. "You mean something more befitting of a High Lady?"</p><p>"Yes, though I'm not on duty right now, I can still dress like one from time to time," I insisted.</p><p>He only chuckled before pulling out a simple turquoise colored long-sleeved day dress that would fall just below my knees. Despite the warm weather the end of summer provided, the material was lightweight and would be comfortable enough to wear in bed. I nodded in approval and he brought it over to help me change. Just as he helped me over to the lounge placed at the foot of our bed, a familiar knock came at our door. Based on the weight of it, I knew it was Cassian.</p><p>"That was quick," I said to Rhys as he snapped his fingers—his magic making our bed and organizing it neatly.</p><p>"I let them know we were meeting in here today," he said with a wink before going to answer the door.</p><p>I smoothed out my dress as he led the Illyrians in and sat up a little straighter when I saw Cassian holding a small pastry box in hand. He grinned the second he noticed me staring at it and walked it over to me.</p><p>"Your sister, Nuala and Cerridwen made a raspberry braid early this morning and insisted I bring you a couple pieces," he explained as I took the box eagerly from him.</p><p>I sighed deeply as I opened the box, inhaling the sweet and buttery scent of the pastry and smiled gratefully at him. "Thank you, Cassian," I said before taking a piece and biting into it.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" Azriel asked as he fell in step beside Cassian, the latter then going over to the medium sized table Rhys and I had set up on the other side of the room to spread out the stacks of reports.</p><p>"Still worn out, but good." I said reassuringly. "Do you have an update for us?"</p><p>I saw his shoulders tense at my question, and he exchanged a wary glance with Cassian before they both faced us. "Helion was able to create a weak spot in the wards around the borders of the Autumn Court, allowing my spies in, but that's where the good news ends."</p><p>Rhys and I shared a frown as he stood beside the lounge I sat on, gripping the back of it a little tighter than he meant to. "Well?"</p><p>Cassian swore under his breath. "It seems Beron found Eris's attempts to rally their armies against him, lost his mind, and launched an all-out civil war against his own bastard son."</p><p>I blinked. "The Autumn Court is battling within themselves?" I asked, dumbfounded.</p><p>"He knew trying to depose his father in order to take over as High Lord would be tricky, which is why he called in the favor to us so long ago," Rhys explained.</p><p>"Right, but they're actually fighting each other now?" I asked again.</p><p>Cassian nodded and Azriel crossed his arms over his broad chest. "It's absolute hell in their territory. Eris is not doing so well with his armies, especially now that his father has recruited the sorcerer who controls Vassa, and my spies indicate that he is drafting a letter to send to the other High Lords of Prythian," he said. "Including us."</p><p>I felt Rhys's shadows grow darker, "I assume that means Keir isn't aiding either one of them?"</p><p>Cassian scoffed. "That bastard dropped out of their deal the moment he saw the instability in Beron's court. My guess is he's waiting to see who ends up taking over the seat of High Lord before trying to form a new alliance."</p><p>A spark of relief went through me, but it was short-lived as I asked, "Does that mean Keir is stalling his plans for the coup?"</p><p>Azriel gave me a somber look, "My spies found that he is restructuring plans with Kallon to move sooner rather than later. If the other high lords aid Eris in fighting his father, that leaves us with diminished assistance in our fight against him."</p><p>The bit of pastry I ate now roiled in my stomach as I sat back against the lounge, completely taken aback. "What do we do?" I whispered.</p><p>"We still have time," Rhys said. "I'll write to the others. They won't <em>all</em> decide to help Eris, they don't trust him. Especially after what happened at the summit."</p><p>"Helion already promised us his forces, if that should be the case. He was there when Az received the report, and he's informed Thesan as well." Cassian reassured, Azriel nodding in confirmation.</p><p>The nausea in my stomach alleviated a bit. Two additional courts against half the Illyrians and Keir's Darkbringers. I recalled the memories of the two armies working together on the battlefield against Hybern; remembered their might and Cassian's claim that success in battle was often decided not by numbers, but by picking <em>where</em> to fight. The Illyrians and Darkbringers would no doubt thrive in their home court.</p><p>"He also told you knowing <em>when</em> to fight was equally as important. Brute that he is, Keir won't strike until he believes he has the upper hand. It's why he's held off as long as he has and will continue to until he can guarantee what is happening in the Autumn Court will put us at a disadvantage." Rhys explained, hearing the rising anxiety in my thoughts, and gripped my shoulder gently.</p><p>Cassian and Azriel must've realized what I had been thinking, because they then each nodded in approval. "There isn't reason to panic just yet, Feyre." Cassian reassured. "It's bad news, but Rhys is right. The prick won't make any moves until he has assurance that he'll get what he wants."</p><p>I nodded, the dread that had been building up in my chest beginning to ease. I sighed as I sat up a bit. "You aren't all just saying this to make sure I don't get hysterical and go into spontaneous labor again, are you?"</p><p>"I would never lie to you, Feyre." Azriel answered without hesitation as Rhys squeezed my shoulder lightly. "That includes not sugarcoating the truth."</p><p>"You're my High Lady. I will always be upfront with you," Cassian promised.</p><p>I sighed and gripped the hand on my shoulder, squeezing it as I met Rhys's eyes. They were hardened amethyst, but conveyed the same promise.</p><p>"In the meantime, we set up wards around Velaris. I don't want to take even the slightest chance. The bastard will know what it means, and he can stew in his rage for all I care. He won't be a problem for much longer," Rhys said, his voice dangerously dark.</p><p>I gulped but dipped my head in agreement. "We write to the other courts as well, like you said. As soon as this mess in the Autumn Court is resolved, we'll gather and confront Keir and Kallon, and put an end to this once and for all." I said.</p><p>We all exchanged the same grave expressions, knowing that we'd be rid of these insurgents—soon.</p><hr/><p>I had wisely chosen to spend the rest of the day with my sisters. While Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel immediately went about executing the next phase in our plans to finally put an end to this coup. Cassian and Azriel left only minutes after Rhys called an end to our meeting, going to work on securing and preparing the city for the wards my mate would put up. I managed to convince Rhys to eat a bit of breakfast before he officially started his day. Not only was he going to send out letters to the other High Lords, Clotho aiding him in writing those letters, but also planned to meet with the Palace Lords of Velaris and inform them of the wards to be set in place—today. We, along with the other courts, were now officially preparing for war.</p><p>I tried not to think about it as I sat on the chaise lounge of my suite's sitting room with Elain and Nesta, trying to focus on Elain's excitement about finalizing the details of her plans to transform the sitting room into a nursery.</p><p>"And I think the cradle should go here in the middle of the room." Elain explained as she moved over the plush carpet in the center of the room, positioning herself to show the precise location.</p><p>I nodded, running an idle hand over my stomach as I felt a glimmer of excitement inside of it. "I like it," I said tiredly. After the meeting this morning, I was already sufficiently drained of any energy.</p><p>"I would think you'd be more excited about it," Nesta said coldly from her seat on the lounge adjacent to me. "Considering Elain made all these plans for <em>your</em> child."</p><p>I narrowed my eyes at my eldest sister, wondering how much longer I would be able to tolerate the icy rage she bore towards me ever since I had been placed on bed rest. Whenever she and Elain would visit my bedside, Nesta remained indifferent—hardly saying more than a few words at a time to me, and almost all of them hostile. Thinking back to her behavior at the cabin just a little over a week prior, the concern she expressed for mine and my child's health, had me wondering what had caused her flip in attitude so suddenly.</p><p>"It really wasn't any trouble," Elain began carefully, sensing the tension stirring between us. "The baby is our niece or nephew, and I wanted to contribute something."</p><p>"Thank you, Elain," I said before sliding my eyes back to Nesta. "And for the record, I <em>am</em> excited, but I'm also exhausted. In case you haven't noticed." I motioned to my stomach for emphasis.</p><p>Nesta didn't look impressed, instead taking a sip of her tea with a shrug. "I'd say you only have yourself to blame for that."</p><p>"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snapped, sitting up a little straighter.</p><p>Elain took a step towards me; Nesta snapping back at me with equal vigor. "I mean it's <em>your</em> own fault for the state you're in now. You didn't <em>have</em> to be confined to your bed, your body working overtime to recover from a near-loss that could have been avoided."</p><p>I stared at her, mouth agape in complete and utter shock. "Nesta, please. We can't be upsetting Feyre right now in-" Elain started but Nesta cut her off with a scoff as she stood.</p><p>"Why should I coddle her?" She asked before directing those deadly grey-blue eyes at me. My eyes—stirring with Nesta's own dark power that swirled under her delicate fae features. "We warned you to be careful, to take a step back and let the others here handle your vocations as High Lady, and not two damn minutes later you winnow away and use your powers."</p><p>"I did it to save my city." I said, my voice barely above a whisper as my throat grew tight at her words. "<em>Our</em> city. Our <em>home</em>. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"</p><p>"Not when it could've cost you your youngling!" She barked. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are that you didn't? That your youngling survived, despite the risk, meanwhile females like me-" she stopped herself, realizing her words.</p><p>Elain covered her mouth and I blinked, a few traitorous tears slipping down my face. I recalled Cassian's revelation from months ago as Nesta clenched her fists and turned away, going to the tea cart placed on the other side of her lounge chair.</p><p>"Meanwhile females like you who can't have their own?" I said softly.</p><p>Her shoulders stiffed, but she didn't turn to meet my gaze. "Who told you that?" She asked, her voice not as fierce as it had just been—a crack in her hardened veneer.</p><p>"Is that why you're mad at me Nesta?" I returned, deciding I wouldn't dance around this issue any longer. "Because I put my child at risk, without any consideration to how it might make you feel. You who can't bear her own youngling?"</p><p>I saw her head dip below her shoulders slowly, the hand holding a teacup trembling before a tiny crack formed. I sighed shakily, sniffing as I forced away my tears with a gulp.</p><p>"Nesta, I'm so sorry," I began. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt anyone. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone secretly felt the same way. What I did...was dangerous. You're right, I could've lost my child...my son."</p><p>Elain turned her teary gaze to my stomach. "It's a boy?"</p><p>"Yes, and I know in that moment my instincts as High Lady overshadowed my instincts as a mother, and I," I choked back a sob as I rubbed the swell of my stomach gently. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself, even <em>if</em> everyone else has. But I won't blame them if they don't—if <em>you</em> don't."</p><p>Elain wiped a few tears away as she sat beside me, placing her hands over mine and squeezed them gently, while Nesta's shoulders gradually lowered. "I'm sorry," I whispered again.</p><p>"I felt that way once." She said, her voice gravelly as she finally turned to face Elain and me. The fire in her blue-grey eyes now smoldered with that sorrow I had seen before; on that day we learned that Viviane had given birth to Eira.</p><p>"I once thought I would never forgive myself...after I lost my youngling." She ignored Elain's quiet gasp as she stared out the window, wrapping her arms around herself. "It was years ago, after the war. While I was with Cassian in the Illyrian mountains. As a human, my cycles were few and far between, and after I was made, they stopped altogether." She cleared her throat with a small shrug of her shoulders.</p><p>"I assumed long ago that I would never be able to carry a child, had made my peace with it...until I woke up one morning in a pool of blood. The look on Cassian's face when he-" her voice faltered and I saw her throat bob, staring up into the sky for a minute before she was finally able to move on. "The Illyrian healers said it was very early on, only six weeks at the most, and later Madja confirmed that my body was...incapable of ever bringing a youngling to term."</p><p>She turned to face me. "It was part of the reason why it took me so long to return from the mountains. Knowing you and your High Lord wanted a family of your own, knowing I could return and see you with child," she paused as she stared at my stomach. "My outlook changed over the course of that year, and thanks to that brute, I...was able to face you all again. Even with the loss weighing on him just as heavily, he managed to work past it and pull me up through those depths I was already well into after the events of the war.</p><p>"When I learned you were pregnant, I thought it would cause me pain, but instead I saw it as an...opportunity. It wasn't until then that I realized I finally forgave myself for the loss, realized it wasn't my fault, and I was grateful." Our eyes met again, meaningfully, and I motioned for Elain's help as I slowly scooted to the edge of my seat.</p><p>Elain jumped to her feet and gingerly helped me to mine. Nesta sucked in a breath, prepared to protest as I made a step towards her, but she instead crossed the room in a couple of strides and embraced me. Tears I hadn't realized were already in my eyes fell as Nesta squeezed her arms around me—careful not to put any strain on my middle, and only a few seconds later Elain's arms encircled us both as best she could.</p><p>"Forgive yourself, Feyre," Nesta breathed before pulling back enough to meet my stare. "And take care. Let the others, let <em>us</em>, take care of you and your son."</p><p>I nodded with a sob before Elain pulled her back into our embrace and we all held each other—like we had all once done so, so long ago.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eris is High Lord of the Autumn Court?" Mor asked carefully, her warm eyes widened in subtle horror.</p><p>In the weeks that followed the news of the civil unrest taking place in Autumn, all the courts of Prythian had been on a collective edge. As our spymaster indicated in his reports, Eris indeed sent letters to every court—asking for aid in the fight against his father, and almost every one had begrudgingly sent a small contingency of their armies; Kallias being the only one to outright refuse. After bearing witness firsthand to Beron's insolence at the summit, they all were hesitant to trust that Eris would be any better—especially Kallias, whose heavily pregnant mate had been targeted by the older male. They were surprised, however, to see the legion of Illyrians that Cassian sent; realizing later that we were retaliating directly against Beron for not only his assault against me at the summit, but for his attack on Velaris as well. They also knew of the tenuous alliance Rhys and I had with Eris for his help during the war, and one-by-one they offered their support for the male in a fortnight.</p><p>Azriel nodded in response to Mor, taking a subtle step closer as she loosed a shaky breath. After meeting with his brothers, Rhys had called for the rest of us to gather in the library in order to disclose the information they received earlier this morning—that Eris had beaten his father and was crowned as the new High Lord of Autumn, while his despicable father rotted in their prison, for now.</p><p>"What now?" I asked as Mor remained speechless, her eyes still darting from side to side as she processed the news.</p><p>The last decade of peace hadn't lessened the hatred she bore towards the Autumn male, and I understood how it must've felt to learn that the male who caused her unbearable pain—had left her for <em>dead</em>, was now elevated to a high position of power.</p><p>"Now that bastard keeps a leash on Keir, until we and the other courts can pull back our forces and recuperate before tackling our next issue." Rhysand answered, keeping a watchful eye on his cousin.</p><p>"How long will that take?" Amren asked from her seat next to Mor, subtly moving closer and offering the blonde her glass of wine.</p><p>"Two or three weeks, give or take." Cassian responded as Mor took that glass and gulped down the remainder of its contents.</p><p>"How exactly will he do that?" Elain asked timidly, she hadn't been very involved in the meetings where we developed our plan of action—the war with Hybern still too fresh in her memory for her to actively participate as she had back then. She was finally in a good place, nearly recovered mentally, and talks of going to war <em>again</em> only gave her painful reminders of what she had lost then.</p><p>I placed a hand over hers gently. "Rhys has been writing back and forth with Eris over the last two weeks. Once he started gaining an advantage over his father, Eris received a letter from Keir offering to create an alliance," I explained.</p><p>"You mean <em>renew</em> an alliance," Mor said bitterly as she stood and crossed over to the set of windows, hands on her hips.</p><p>I frowned, sharing a look with Rhysand. "But Eris is <em>our</em> ally in this coup. I have already instructed him to keep Keir sidetracked with false promises of a treaty while we work together with the other courts and replenish our armies," he reassured.</p><p>"You really think we can trust him?" Mor asked, turning back to face us. "He's been biding his time until he could win his father's throne, using us as leverage, how do we know he'll keep his word now that he has it?"</p><p>"He is ruthless, cousin, there's no doubt about that. He also knows that he would be at a severe disadvantage if he paired with Keir in the coup. His court just underwent a civil war, it is in shambles and he now has to navigate how to deal with his father's supporters and piece his court back together. Partnering with Keir would be disastrous and result in his court falling apart completely," Rhys explained calmly.</p><p>"If for some batshit crazy reason he <em>does</em> decide to side with Keir, we outnumber them now." Cassian added. "With the other courts on our side, they can't win."</p><p>Mor still looked unconvinced as she turned back to the window without another word. I saw Azriel watching her, a flicker of yearning in those hazel eyes, but he looked away as Elain spoke up again.</p><p>"Is there any news of Vassa…?" She asked quietly.</p><p>"She was recovered and returned to her home in the Mortal Lands, by Lucien." He answered her just as softly.</p><p>A pall of silence fell over us—Mor's rage continued to simmer as she stared out the window; while my sister and the shadowsinger exchanged a prolonged look before she finally looked down at her lap. Whether or not she acknowledged the fact that it was her mate that rescued the mortal queen, or whether or not she cared, I could only guess.</p><p>Rhys cleared his throat. "In the meantime, we keep waiting while Eris keeps Keir distracted. During that time, the other courts will be steadily sending their forces until those who fought in Autumn are recovered and can accompany the rest. If all goes according to plan, we have approximately two weeks until we're hosting the other courts and High Lords," he continued.</p><p>"Where are we going to host five High Lords, their entourages, <em>and</em> armies? We can't use the palace above the Court of Nightmares, Keir will know." I asked, bewildered.</p><p>"We'll host them here, in Velaris," Rhys answered with a rouge smirk.</p><p>"And their armies will camp out in the Northern Forests of the Illyrian Steppes," Cassian finished, crossing his arms over his broad chest with a crooked grin of his own. "We'll give them a little taste of what it's like in those mountains."</p><p>"What if Kallon gets reports of those gathered armies? He'll alert Keir," I challenged.</p><p>Rhys placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. "They'll be stationed outside of Windhaven camp. Kallon is too busy rallying his rebels to bother checking in on his rival camp. We'll be setting up wards to shield them once they've become large enough; the other High Lords and I will take turns keeping them up."</p><p>I squeezed his hand back, leaning back against the cushion of my chair and running a free hand over my belly. Madja continued to assure Rhys and I that our son was growing at the expected rate and remained perfectly healthy. My recovery continued to improve, and the healer had alleviated some of the conditions for my confinement. I was now allowed out of bed for short walks around the estate; I could also paint and tend to some of my duties as High Lady, like writing letters and sorting through reports, but needed to maintain a light and easy schedule—nothing involving anything too strenuous. Since I was on the cusp of entering the last stage of pregnancy, only a few short months away from giving birth, she advised that I remain in the estate until my time came—when my period of nesting began, and Rhys would whisk me away to the Cabin in preparation for the birth of our son.</p><p>"Will there be fighting?" Nesta asked.</p><p>She stood beside Cassian; hands neatly folded in front of her as she turned a raised chin to the male. Though I couldn't see it, I knew the memories that flashed behind her fierce grey-blue eyes—of Cassian on the battlefield during the war; of the injuries he sustained.</p><p>"It's doubtful," Rhys replied for the commander. "We outnumber his Darkbringers and rogue Illyrians six-to-one. Once he and Kallon get word of the troops gathered in the Steppes, they'll come to meet us with their own. If they're smart, they'll realize sooner rather than later how ill-fated their cause has become and surrender."</p><p>Mor scoffed from her place at the window. "Like hell they will. You know that bastard won't go down without a fight."</p><p>"Then there will be a slaughter. Either way, they lose." Rhys said easily. "They'll be reminded of why previous coup attempts have been thwarted, and the Illyrians will be put in their place once again. As for Keir," he shared a meaningful look with his cousin as citrine and amethyst clashed. I pictured the paints I would use, emphasizing just the shape and fierceness of that shared look.</p><p>"So...we have nothing to worry about?" Elain asked hesitantly.</p><p>I took her hand again, "We're safe Elain. With our allies and this plan, the coup will fail. This confrontation is nothing like how it was with Hybern."</p><p>She nodded, her tense shoulders easing a bit. Amren crossed one leg over the other as a crooked grin lined her lips. "At least this time I won't be needing to sacrifice my life for you lot."</p><p>"We could always add you to the front lines. They don't know you don't have any powers; we could just use you to intimidate them to death," Cassian quipped.</p><p>"She's far too small for that," Azriel added.</p><p>Cassian roared in laughter as Amren glared at the spymaster. I half-heartedly laughed, noting the edge that lingered between my mate and his cousin; until Mor turned away and walked out of the library.</p><p><em>Is she okay?</em> I asked through the bond.</p><p>
  <em>As okay as she can be. She hates that Eris is High Lord, but I just informed her that I will be turning her wretched father over to her after this coup is over</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Did that help?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Not as much as I would have hoped</em>
</p><p><em>Let me go talk to her. It's been a while since we've talked alone, maybe I can help her sort through her feelings</em>.</p><p>Rhys only nodded in response before crossing over to stand in front of me and helped ease me to my feet. Despite my remarkable recovery, my growing belly still made my movements slower and slower. I was also beginning to notice that my balance was growing increasingly skewed but blamed it on the bed rest for now. The others hardly noticed as he escorted me to the door; their continued conversations and my departure a subtle indication that our meeting was over.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" Rhys asked once we were in the hallway, wrapping an arm around my waist as we walked.</p><p>"I'm fine. It's been nice to walk around again, even if I'm stuck indoors for now," I said.</p><p>A small frown came to his face and I quickly realized how my words sounded. The last time I had been confined inside an estate…</p><p>"It's not the same," I quickly amended. "I'm doing it for our little Bash," I said while rubbing my stomach for emphasis. "For both of our health. You're not locking me away and forbidding me from entering the city."</p><p>He took my hand in his free one, bringing it to his lips. "Never," he said. "Maybe in another couple of weeks Madga will deem it safe for us to resume our walks out along the Sidra. We'll get to enjoy the weather while it's still warm."</p><p>I smiled. "After this coup is over, and those responsible are taken care of, we'll get to enjoy it. We'll get to enjoy this," I said as I looked down at my middle.</p><p>Rhys's eyes softened as his gaze moved to my stomach, and I felt our son stretch in my belly. We stopped short of Mor's room and he pressed a kiss to my brow, his hands holding either side of my swollen abdomen. "Yes, we will."</p><p>I breathed in his scent and sighed lightly before pulling him in for a quick kiss. "You go take care of business. I'll talk to Mor and spend the day with her."</p><p>He nodded before taking a step back, "I'll be in my office if you need me."</p><p>"I'll be fine," I reminded him.</p><p>He smirked and kissed my belly goodbye before winnowing away. I took in another inhale before I stepped around the corner and approached Mor's door. Before I could knock, however, the door swung open with the blonde on the other side of it. She ushered me inside wordlessly and I followed suit, walking into her suite.</p><p>"You didn't need to come check on me," she said as she closed the door behind me.</p><p>"I figured you needed someone to talk to after hearing the news," I said as I worked to lower myself on the plush settee in the center of her room.</p><p>She sighed and plopped herself onto the seat beside me, helping me down and stared at her feet. "I knew it was bound to happen someday, especially after the deal Rhys made with him, but…" she trailed off.</p><p>"But it's different actually seeing it become a reality," I affirmed and touched her shoulder gently.</p><p>"I know, and you're completely entitled to your feelings. After everything that's happened, on top of this coup orchestrated by Keir," I shook my head and squeezed her shoulder. "I'm sorry Mor."</p><p>She continued to stare at the ground until her dark-honeyed eyes finally met mine. "I'm well over five-hundred centuries old, and yet any knowledge of the two of them working together—even under a guise for our sake just…" she shook her head, truly unable to voice the rage boiling underneath her skin, her elegant fingers curling into fists.</p><p>I touched one of those fists, levelling my gaze with hers. "Mor, I promise you, if Eris so much as looks at us the wrong way, we'll take care of him. The last thing we do is trust him, and I know Rhys wouldn't hesitate to rip him to shreds if he tries anything like his father did." I promised.</p><p>The corner of her mouth twitched upward slightly, and she sighed. "I know the alliance is necessary. I'm just not happy about it," she lamented.</p><p>"Neither am I," I assured, and she dipped her head in approval before uncurling her hands and bringing one to touch my stomach gently.</p><p>"How is he?" she asked.</p><p>Ever since revealing to my sisters that I was expecting a boy, the news hadn't remained a secret for long. Elain had been so delighted and shared the news with Mor and Amren during dinner that same night; Cassian then boasting that he had known for some time, which launched into a debate with the entire inner circle. I then sheepishly promised Rhysand that I wouldn't reveal our son's name until after his birth.</p><p>"He's good, moving a lot right now," I answered and smiled at feeling a kick. "Feel that?"</p><p>Mor's widened grin was answer enough as she continued to stroke my belly, encouraging my son to kick more and laughed as he responded to her movements and words.</p><p>"How does it feel for you?" She asked.</p><p>I shrugged. "It's hard to describe, the more he grows the different it feels. Viviane once told me that once I reach the end stages, I'll start to feel feet, fists, <em>and</em> elbows in there."</p><p>Mor cringed. "Does it hurt at all?"</p><p>I shook my head. "I think he's still too small. His movements are noticeable but not painful."</p><p>She nodded and studied my belly for a silent minute, caressing it lightly. "I can't wait for all of this to be over so we can turn all the attention on you, little one. Auntie Mor already has so many presents for you," she cooed.</p><p>I blinked, "Presents?"</p><p>She grinned mischievously, "Wanna see?"</p><p>I nodded with a laugh, but as she got up and crossed over to her enormous closet, a knock came at her door. Raising a brow, she walked over and opened it; a sentry waiting outside of it before she allowed him in.</p><p>"Pardon me, milady, but Lucien Vanserra is here to see you," the sentry informed me, albeit a bit hesitant.</p><p>I balked at him. "Here on the grounds?" I asked to confirm.</p><p>Lucien was about the only male welcomed in and out of Velaris; due to his connection with Elain, and his desire to be closer from time-to-time after the war, he had his own apartment in the city. However, since constructing the estate, he only visited on a few occasions.</p><p>The sentry nodded, "Yes. He arrived moments ago, insisting on an audience with you. Lord Rhysand greeted him, but he still maintains in meeting with you alone."</p><p>I paused to think. Knowing my mate, he was leaving the decision to me. "Is he alright?" I asked cautiously. "He isn't hurt, is he?"</p><p>The sentry shook his head. "He seems well, but unyielding."</p><p>"Maybe it has something to do with his swine of a brother," Mor offered. "I'll go with you. If he's angry, the last thing we want is for him to lash out at you in your condition."</p><p>"Lucien wouldn't hurt me Mor. If anything, <em>he's</em> probably hurting too. I have a feeling something else has happened," I said before motioning her to help me stand.</p><p>I grunted a bit with effort as she helped me get to my feet, a little wearier than I had previously been. Mor frowned, "We can send for him after dinner, once you've gotten some food and rest."</p><p>"I'll meet him in the sitting room attached to my suite. I can rest there and talk with him, and I know you all won't be far," I insisted and linked my arm with hers.</p><p>"Tell Lucien I will meet him in my sitting room in five minutes," I said to the sentry, who bowed in response and left the room.</p><p>"Are you sure about this Feyre? If he upsets you and puts too much strain on you and the baby…" Mor began.</p><p>"It's all right Mor," I assured her as she escorted me out of her room. "I think it's Lucien's turn to vent to a friend about the new High Lord of Autumn."</p><p>Mor cringed, recalling the cruel revelation Eris had unleashed on his youngest brother at the summit months ago. Still, as she led me back to the sitting room adjoined to my suite, she waited with me for Lucien's arrival. Moments later, my disheveled friend strode in, his russet eye wide while the mechanical one whirring as he took us in. He didn't so much as look at Mor as he cautiously approached me.</p><p>"Did you know?" He asked me by way of greeting. "About Helion and my mother? About-" he began but cut himself off as he finally realized Mor was standing beside the chaise lounge I perched on.</p><p>I turned a look at her and she understood my request. "I'll be down the hall," she said before leaving us alone.</p><p>"Did you know about their affair? That Helion is my-" he cut himself off again, unable to say the words as he paced the room.</p><p>I only offered a small nod, watching him empathetically. "Yes," I said softly.</p><p>"When?" He asked, still pacing back and forth across the carpet. "When did you figure it out? Or who told you? Was it my father? I mean, was it-"</p><p>"I figured it out after I first met Helion; before the war with Hybern started and we all gathered for the first time at Thesan's palace. He told me the story of what happened to your mother, her sisters, and how he rescued her during the first war." I answered, interrupting his rambling questions.</p><p>He stopped pacing and faced me. "Did Rhysand know?"</p><p>I shook my head. "Not until I figured it out myself. I made the connection; Rhys didn't realize it until I did."</p><p>His arms grew slack at his sides. "So, it's not some well-known secret that all of Prythian knows about and just hid from me?"</p><p>"No Lucien, it-" I began but then he interrupted.</p><p>"So why didn't <em>you</em> tell me, Feyre?" He asked, both of his eyes wide and bewildered. "You've known all this time and you didn't think to tell me? I thought we were friends!"</p><p>I frowned as he snapped at me, my hormones surging and causing tears to well in my eyes. It must have been evident, because he sighed and took a mild step towards me before turning away and running both hands through his bright auburn hair with an exasperated sigh. I quickly put my emotions in check, not wanting my irrational mood swing to interrupt Lucien's moment.</p><p>"I'm sorry," he said quietly.</p><p>"No, Lucien, <em>I'm</em> sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Honestly, I didn't think it was my place, and after what happened at the summit, I thought it was the last thing you wanted to hear." I explained.</p><p>He sighed heavily and crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the ground. "My father...I mean, Beron, told me. When he attacked the Mortal Lands and took Vassa. He...claimed I was 'no son of his' and said I was nothing more than a Day Court bastard. I was shocked, and then he started the attack. I tried to fight him off, to protect Vassa, but then…" his voice faded as his eye turned hazy, the other whirring out of focus as he recalled whatever details that occurred that day.</p><p>I slowly offered my hand, still seated, and it took a minute before he registered my movement and took it. I motioned for him to sit beside me and he did, his shoulders slumped over slightly as an invisible weight pressed on them.</p><p>"When Eris was crowned, my fa...Beron, imprisoned; my mother summoned me back to the palace. She broke down and explained everything, told me of her relationship with Helion and that he was my biological father. She never told him," he went on, voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>"She loved him, Feyre, and her husband kept her there. Imprisoned to serve as Lady of the Autumn Court, even while she carried another male's child," he pressed a palm onto his good eye, massaging the stress from it.</p><p>I placed a tentative hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly. "How is she?"</p><p>He sighed. "Relieved. Eris is granting her a separation from Beron before he...finds a way to deal with him, but when she told me about Helion, she seemed...broken." He met my gaze again,</p><p>"You were almost her. All those years ago with Tamlin, when I didn't do anything to stop it. I almost let what happened to my mother happen to you," he said, a subtle horror laced in his voice.</p><p>"What happened to your mother wasn't your fault, Lucien." I said, moving my hand from his shoulder to his hand.</p><p>"I knew. A part of me <em>knew</em> she wasn't happy with my father," he cringed. "Beron. Yet I didn't try to take her away. I didn't do <em>anything</em>, and neither did Helion."</p><p>I sighed and moved a little closer to him. "Lucien, there was nothing you could have done. Beron had complete control over her. Even if you could, she probably wouldn't have left for fear of him and what he might do."</p><p>"But that's the point, I <em>could</em> have," he jumped back to his feet, pacing again. "I could have done something for her, for you, and I didn't. I couldn't protect her, or you, and I couldn't protect Vassa! I couldn't even protect your sister, my mate, from what Hybern did to her and Nesta. What kind of male am I that I can't protect the ones I care for, the ones I love?"</p><p>I frowned, "Lucien-"</p><p>"No, I...he <em>took</em> Vassa, Feyre. He managed to find that sorcerer that controls her and forced her into her firebird form. The way she <em>screamed</em>; it was...I couldn't bear it. Then learning what he did to my mother, and remembering what happened to you...to Elain, to even Jesminda, and how I allowed it all to happen. I...what…" he looked around frantically, his chest heaving a bit as he paced.</p><p>I did my best to rise as quickly and cautiously as I could before I approached him and threw my arms around him in an embrace. His arms were pinned at his sides as I held him, his body going rigid at first—until slowly he relaxed, his arms going limp before slowly wrapping his arms around me in return. Despite the complicated past with Tamlin, the one instance where he did have a say, he was my friend and had more than made up for it since. Beron had given him a life of turbulence; him and his brothers making Lucien's life hell until he found reprieve in the Spring Court. Then, once his closest friend had begun turning into a tyrant reminiscent of his father, those feelings of being trapped returned—unable to help me to the extent he wanted. After escaping that, after the war, he once again found solace with his human friends...until Beron's latest attack.</p><p>Lucien had felt so out of control in his own life, and every time little moments of freedom were offered—whether by finding a home in the Spring Court, then being welcomed to Velaris and the Mortal Realm, it seemed to crumble before him. Now with this latest truth revealed to him, it was no wonder that <em>he</em> was beginning to crumble next.</p><p>I wouldn't let that happen.</p><p>"Your mother is <em>safe</em>. I am safe. Elain is safe, and Vassa is safe," I said. "We are all <em>safe</em> now Lucien. Yes, we each endured some version of hell, but we survived. Just like you are doing now," I pulled back at arm's length to meet his gaze.</p><p>"<em>You</em> saved Vassa. As for me and Elain, who knows what would have happened if you hadn't done your part during the war; if you hadn't guided the Mortals, and Drakon and Miyram's army down the right path. As for your mother, you did what you could. Unfortunately, there was nothing you <em>could</em> do while she remained subservient under Beron, but now she is free of him. There is so much to look forward to Lucien," I took his hands again, squeezing them. "There will be good days and bad—don't let the hard days win."</p><p>Lucien blinked at me; his russet eye growing soft while the golden one whirred quietly. He continued to stare at me before he embraced me again, pulling me in a little too tightly and I cringed at the pressure on my stomach. He gasped and stepped back.</p><p>"Are you okay?" he asked</p><p>I nodded with a weary laugh, holding my stomach. "I'm fine, you just squished him a little."</p><p>He looked at my stomach, as if he just noticed it and helped me back to my seat carefully. "I almost forgot how far along you were. I haven't seen you since the summit."</p><p>"It's weird huh?" I motioned to my enlarged belly. "Sometimes I'm still a little surprised when I see myself in the mirror."</p><p>"Is he okay? I heard what you did...after what happened in Velaris," he asked with a frown.</p><p>"We're okay. We had a little scare, but my healer took care of us right away. I was on bedrest for a while, and technically still recovering, but I'm better now." I answered, resting my arms over my stomach.</p><p>He shook his head. "Rhysand must've lost his mind. I nearly did when Vassa was taken, and she isn't," he stopped himself with another shake of his head—as if trying to erase the memory of what happened to the mortal Queen.</p><p>I raised my brow at the tone in his voice, his worry for the fierce mortal woman. I paused as he loosed a long breath, finally cooled from his panic. "Do you want me to call Elain? I know she was worried about Vassa too, maybe you can assure her that she's alright?"</p><p>Lucien shook his head. "No, it's alright, I should get back to Vassa," he said, but paused when he met my questioning stare. "And Jurian; the mortal lands."</p><p>I laughed. "But…" he started. "Will you tell her I was here?"</p><p>"Yes. I'll let her know you're taking care of Vassa."</p><p>He dipped his head in a subtle nod and sighed again. "Thank you Feyre," he said softly.</p><p>"Anytime Lucien, just remember what I said okay?"</p><p>He offered a stiff smile before leaning down to give me a parting hug before escorting himself out. Rhys appeared in the doorway a second later.</p><p>"Well," he started. "That was intense."</p><p>I sighed, slumping back against the lounge and running my hands over my stomach. "He was upset. Beron told him about Helion and his mother."</p><p>Rhys released his own deep exhale and crossed over to the lounge, scooping me up easily and I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, resting my head against his shoulder. He walked us into our adjoining bedroom, laying me across the bed carefully and spreading out beside me. I rubbed my stomach lightly, watching it before Rhys placed a hand at the apex of my belly.</p><p>"He'll recover. It'll take time, but he will come to terms with the news," he said quietly as he ran his hand over the expanse of my stomach.</p><p>"Do you think Helion knows?" I asked.</p><p>"He probably suspects after the comment Eris made at the summit," he responded, voice still low. "Though I'm not sure what he'll do about it."</p><p>"What would you have done, if it were us? If I had actually married Tamlin, and in my time spent here to fulfill the bargain, you and I fell in love regardless? If we had conceived our son and I was stuck in the Spring Court, forced to name him Tamlin's…" I flinched at just the mere thought of it, of how easily it <em>could</em> have been me.</p><p>Rhys took my chin gently, tilting my head back to meet his violet eyes, sparkling intensely. "I would have torn the world apart for you, Feyre," he reminded me.</p><p>I smiled half-heartedly before he pulled me closer. "We don't know exactly how hard Helion tried to get her back, perhaps now they'll get the end they deserved," he said.</p><p>"Maybe," I mused, playing with the collar of his black tunic. "Did Eris...say anything about what he plans to do with Beron?"</p><p>"He's keeping him imprisoned until further notice. Said he might turn him over to us once we have Keir and Kallon in our custody," he said as his fingertips traced my side lightly.</p><p>I shivered at his touch, a part of me resenting Madja for deeming any sexual activity still too strenuous during my recovery. I hummed in response, "He'd actually let us execute his father?"</p><p>Rhys shrugged. "Beron will die regardless, along with Keir and Kallon."</p><p>"Mmm, what a fitting end for the three of them." I murmured, my eyes beginning to feel heavy as my mate's warmth continued to envelop me.</p><p>He noticed the fatigue in my voice and pressed a kiss to my brow. "All this talk of war and its lasting effects is wearing you down my love," he teased.</p><p>I rolled my eyes, closing them as I laid my head on his shoulder. "It wouldn't be if I weren't so busy growing a powerful high fae," I muttered.</p><p>I felt his dark chuckle rattle in his chest. "Sleep Feyre," he whispered as a hand ran down my back gently.</p><p>Sebastian must've wanted the same, because despite his constant movements and kicks just a while earlier, he was now calm—perhaps slipping into his own nap. I felt myself fading, too tired to respond with a witty remark and only stirred slightly when I felt Rhys move from my side and press another kiss to my brow.</p><p>I dreamt of Sebastian running through a pile of bright red and orange leaves, laughing and giggling as they crunched under his feet, Lucien standing at a distance with a content smile on his face—Vassa at his side.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I couldn't have been more elated than I was when Madja officially lifted my period of confinement and bedrest. Another couple of weeks flew by since receiving the news of Eris becoming the new High Lord of Autumn, and things were moving fast. After initially sending out invitations to our allies; directing them on where to send their armies and encouraging them and their entourages to come and stay in Velaris, the last thing I wanted was to be restricted to switching from my place in bed or ambling around the estate with little else to do while Rhys, Mor, and Clotho worked seamlessly to create adequate accommodations for our guests. Though we didn't have a palace like Thesan's to host them as he did for our summits, we had more than enough space for them with the guest suites I drew into the blueprints for the estate. However, neither Rhys nor Clotho allowed me to do anything while still in recovery—even when the first of the High Lords and their entourages began to arrive.</p><p>Helion was the first, with Thesan following only a couple of days later. With them being the closest to our court, they wasted no time in gathering their numbers and were in Velaris within days following their armies. They both marveled at how far along I was now, and especially at the impressively large mound my belly had grown to. Helion had cracked a joke about my size, which earned a protective growl from my mate and an earnest laugh from me. Thesan had been rather stunned and actually worried that I might go into labor at any given second; so, whenever we were in the same room, he watched me with wary eyes—afraid that any sudden movement might bring about the labor pains. He had reacted the same way with Viviane when she attended our last summit; using whatever resources he had at his disposal, like having every available midwife in the palace, in order to make sure she was comfortable <em>and</em> in case of emergency.</p><p>As our plans continued to move forward, I slowly and surely regained my strength with faithful reassurance from our healer that my health was flourishing. Finally, after an agonizing two weeks—where I grew more and more antsy and eager to jump into <em>some</em> kind of work, Madja announced that I was fully recovered <em>and</em> that I had officially entered the final stage of my pregnancy. With approximately two and a half months left, ending this coup was our crucial next step in preparing for our son. The last thing Rhys and I wanted was to welcome him into the world while simultaneously trying to quell the civil unrest in our court. With the threat having loomed over us since the beginning of my pregnancy and causing my mate and I great periods of stress and nearly cost us our son's life, ending Keir's act of tyranny would grant us the peace that was long ago stolen from us. Now that the end was in sight, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief—knowing that our chances of a favorable outcome was just within our reach, and then we could shift our focus back onto welcoming our baby.</p><p>Madja's announcement had come just in time as well. Kallias and Viviane were due to finally arrive this afternoon, along with their newborn Eira. With Helion and Thesan well-adjusted and working closely with Rhys, Tarquin also having arrived just a few days ago, Kallias and Viviane were the last of our allies we would host—Tamlin and Eris remaining at their prospective courts for now but sending their contingencies of armies ahead of them. The Winter couple had wisely decided to wait the longest in order to allow the bond between them and Eira to calm. In her letters following Eira's birth, Viviane explained that while she was recovering from the ordeal, Kallias's mated instincts caused him to shelter her and Eira for nearly a month. They were also adjusting to their newborn daughter, and as mates, both of their instincts sent them into a frenzy—their innate urges compelling them to shelter their child. The first three months had been critical, Viviane explained, not only for her and Eira's recovery from the birthing process, but also in learning how to parent their daughter while their natural tendencies ruled them. Over those last three months, their compulsions slowly ebbed back into a sense of normalcy and they were able to integrate themselves back into civilization.</p><p>Rhys and I understood that level of vulnerability in a mated bond, having experienced it ourselves during my own convalescence. It only made us all the more grateful that they chose to side with us to end our dilemma, and it also provided a safe haven for Viviane and Eira. Viviane was nowhere near ready to fight three months postpartum, and since she and Kallias still couldn't be parted with each other for long, she and her baby would remain safe with me while Kallias and Rhys worked together with the other High Lords when the time for the confrontation finally came.</p><p>"Mind already abuzz this morning, Feyre darling?" Rhys purred in my ear; the arm thrown over my waist moving to pull me closer while we lay in bed.</p><p>I smiled, letting him bring me closer until my back was flush against the hard planes of his chest. I lazily checked to make sure my mental shields were intact, having just recently been able to keep them in place once again, while his lips drew a lazy line of kisses from my ear to the crook of my neck.</p><p>"How did you know?" I asked softly, turning my head into his.</p><p>"I don't need to read your mind in order to tell when you're excited, my love," he hummed.</p><p>My smile grew with a quiet laugh that quickly turned into a soft gasp as he rolled his hips into mine. I breathed his name, ready to reluctantly protest until he reminded me that with my lying-in suspended, we were clear to resume our bedroom activities—as promised between a private conversation with him and the healer. Another roll of his hips had me nodding eagerly at his silent request. Our joining was slow and gentle—Rhys taking me from behind at a leisurely pace. We took our time enjoying ourselves, delighting in being unhurried and reaching our peaks at staggered intervals.</p><p>"Now we can both greet the day with a better sense of ease." Rhys said as he nipped at my earlobe afterwards, his voice still deep and husky.</p><p>I laughed and turned onto my back to face him, resting a hand on my belly as I released a deep and relaxed sigh. "We're really going to be okay, aren't we?" I asked.</p><p>He placed a hand next to mine, running it up and down the expanse of my stomach gently. "Are you having doubts?"</p><p>I paused in thought. "I've just...been afraid. I know the situation isn't as dire as it was with Hybern, but the stakes still feel so much higher this time…"</p><p>"That's understandable," he said as he looked at my stomach. "This time you're pregnant, and we <em>do </em>have more to lose."</p><p>I frowned, tears swelling and threatening to fall before Rhys pressed a reassuring kiss to my brow. "But we <em>are</em> going to be okay, Feyre. I have promised you from the beginning that we would make it through this ordeal together, and we have. We're so close, and Keir <em>will</em> be dealt with. Then in a matter of months we'll be holding our son in our arms knowing his world is safer," he promised.</p><p>I blinked away my tears, Rhys brushing his thumb along my cheek gently. "I love you," I whispered.</p><p>He smiled and pressed a kiss to my lips this time. "I love you, Feyre," he said and moved to kiss the top of my stomach gently. "And I love you too, my son."</p><p>I loosed another long breath, allowing it to calm the last of my nerves as Rhys moved back to his place at my side. "Are you feeling well enough to have breakfast with the others?" He asked.</p><p>I nodded. "Should I scare Thesan by faking a few early labor pains?"</p><p>He threw his head back with a loud laugh. "You might just scare everyone, my love, including our friends who also heed your condition at all times," he answered.</p><p>I giggled and sighed dramatically. "That would be a little mean, wouldn't it?"</p><p>"Positively cruel, Feyre darling."</p><p>"All right, but I still want to find some way to torture Thesan, just a little bit."</p><p>Rhys laughed again before climbing out of bed, pulling me along with him as we began our routine in preparing for the day.</p><hr/><p>Eira was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.</p><p>She was technically the <em>only</em> baby, human or high fae, that I had ever seen; yet I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Viviane and Kallias arrived promptly after lunch; Kallias having safely winnowed the three of them to the main port in Velaris, where Rhys and I happily greeted them. A sleeping Eira was wrapped up in swaddling blankets, tucked into her mother's arms and I noticed this time it was Viviane who looked wary of her surroundings rather than her mate. At the summit, Kallias had been the one on high alert—his feral intuition heightened as a natural reaction to protect his vulnerable mate. Now it seemed their roles were reversed.</p><p>While Viviane was more than glad to see me, and even delighted in how much my belly had grown over the months, she kept Eira close to her chest the entire time it took us to walk back to the estate. Even now, as the four of us were gathered in the largest guest suite we had, Viviane was perched on the settee, cradling the baby close as she nursed—Kallias and Rhys in the adjoining sitting room to allow them privacy.</p><p>"She's so tiny," I breathed, marveling as I watched the small bundle in her arms.</p><p>Viviane brightened. "She's actually a lot bigger than when she was first born," she said, touching her youngling's pale rounded cheek.</p><p>I stared as Eira let out a small groan in response to her mother's touch, continuing to suckle quietly. Her hair, as white as her parents, was a smooth and thin coating on her perfectly round head; her eyes as icy blue as Kallias's, while the rest of her features resembled Viviane exactly. She reminded me of the female's sister, who I had only seen a handful of times since the war. After recalling a conversation where the two mentioned their looks came from their family's strong lineage, it came as no surprise to see that Eira was a carbon copy of her mother.</p><p>"Does that hurt?" I asked.</p><p>"Nursing?" She shook her head when I nodded, "Not really. It took some time to adjust at first, but it's not exactly painful."</p><p>I brushed an idle hand along the expanse of my belly. "There's so much I don't know yet," I sighed.</p><p>She smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry Feyre, I had no idea what I was doing either. Right before the summit, I received a <em>long</em> lecture from my team of midwives on what to expect and how to care for her properly. I'm sure your healer is preparing to give you the same lesson."</p><p>I cringed. "She did say that starting at my next appointment she would be bringing along the midwife, her sister, now that I'm in the final weeks."</p><p>"Then you still have plenty of time to learn," she said. "How are you feeling?"</p><p>I sighed again as I rested against the settee. "Still tired. I'm hungry almost every hour of the day, and my back is unbelievably sore by the end of the night."</p><p>She smiled empathetically. "Are you feeling more movements from him?"</p><p>I nodded. "All the time. He's very...energetic these days, especially when Rhys is in the room, which is often. He loves to kick and stretch," I rubbed a spot on my belly for emphasis. "He used to take naps, I think, but in the last week I'm pretty sure he's decided that he won't sleep again until he's born."</p><p>Her answering laugh was melodic, Eira's stunning blue eyes fluttering open in response to the sound. "He probably won't sleep then either. Kallias and I are lucky if we get a couple of hours now; it's gotten better in the last month, but at first it's rough adapting to her schedule."</p><p>I gulped as I stared at my stomach, wondering if Rhys and I would be tormented by lack of sleep. "I don't mean to scare you," Viviane giggled. "It just takes some time to become accustomed to a youngling that's all. Once you actually see him, hold him, and nurse him...your world will revolve around him." She explained, pulling Eira away from her breast and adjusting her top expertly before scooping the youngling back up into her arms as she patted her back gently.</p><p>I laughed as that patting elicited the tiniest burp I had ever heard. "I'm assuming that's part of the nursing process?"</p><p>Viviane nodded, "Oh yes. These little ones tend to get gassy, so we help them along."</p><p>I paused for a moment as I watched her kiss Eira's cheek, cradling her close, and I imagined how in only a matter of months I would be doing the same with <em>my</em> son.</p><p>"Since you're here...I know you said as much in your letters...but how bad is it really? Labor?" I asked timidly.</p><p>She smiled sheepishly before contemplating how to answer me. I knew the last thing she wanted to do was instill fear in me, but I also knew she would be honest.</p><p>"I'll tell you what my midwives told me: every female's experience is different. Just as our pregnancies might differ, so will our labor's. For me, while my cycles are less than pleasant and always excruciating, I managed to find a way to alleviate the pains over the centuries. Because of that, I thought my labor would be...manageable. Unfortunately, I was wrong. It was...the hardest thing I had to endure. The pain left me...disconnected, in some way," she paused as the memories came back to her. "But Kallias was there the whole time. He kept me grounded and helped me through it all to the very end. I don't know what I would've done without him,"</p><p>She reached over to grip my hand gently. "But Feyre, you shouldn't be scared. Your mate, your Rhysand, will be there with you every step of the way too. I've seen the bond between you two, the love you share, and I have no doubt that he'll guide you through it all no matter how smooth or brutal the process might be. Who knows, maybe with his daemati abilities he could…"</p><p>I shook my head. "I don't want him to numb me. I...I want to be able to go through it as every female has for centuries. His mother endured it twice, and I figure if she could do it, if <em>you</em> could, then so can I."</p><p>"Of course, Feyre, if that's what you want. You do whatever is right for you," she affirmed. "In all honesty though, with Rhysand at your side you have nothing to worry about, and at the end of it all you'll welcome your son into a safe home."</p><p>I squeezed her hand, "I hope so," I admitted. I didn't have to reiterate how unsettled the coup, the very reason why she and our other allies were gathered in Velaris, left me.</p><p>She, as a new mother herself, understood perfectly. "You <em>will</em>," she promised. "And then you'll get to hold your beautiful boy. Have you wondered what he might look like yet?"</p><p>The image of the Bone Carver came to mind. Of those violet-blue eyes that nearly resembled mine, while all his other features were completely and utterly Rhysand.</p><p>"He'll look like Rhysand, I just know it." I said as I caressed my stomach lovingly, earning a glimmer and kick in response.</p><p>Viviane warmed as she looked at Eira, who now peacefully slept in her arms. "I was so glad when I saw that she had Kallias's eyes. I had a feeling that with my lineage she would look like me, but I still hoped she might look at least a little like Kallias. She has his spirit too, at least so far," she smiled as she smoothed the hair on the younglings head. "And Kallias, he dotes on her so much already. She hardly cries; all she has to do is wrinkle her little brow and he scoops her up."</p><p>"They say you can't spoil them at this age, but I'm sure he will as the years go on," she said.</p><p>"As I should," came her mate's voice as he walked in the room with Rhysand at his side.</p><p>My mate winked at me as he entered the room, crossing over to my side at the same time as Kallias came to Viviane's.</p><p>"I doubt our friends in the Night Court will be any different, especially with their brood." Kallias said with a smirk at me, before checking on his sleeping daughter. I noticed his fingers twitch, as if he might pick her up, but Viviane's hold was unrelenting.</p><p>"Viviane's maternal instincts are very...formidable." Kallias suddenly said, realizing my mate and I must have noticed that he hadn't held his daughter at all since their arrival. "The midwives warned us that it relates to our primitive ways; that females tend to be overprotective of their younglings for the first few months."</p><p>I blinked, and Viviane smiled sheepishly. "Back at home I don't have a hard time letting him hold and change her, but I think it's because of the change in environment now that I'm struggling."</p><p>Rhys and I exchanged an astonished look and I shrugged. "Well at least you know I won't be purposefully refusing to let you hold our son," I offered.</p><p>He smirked. "Poor Mor will be doubly disappointed, as will everyone else."</p><p>"It'll only really be intense the first week, for both of you actually," Viviane said. "The mating bond will make you both sensitive to outside influence, similar to when the bond first clicked into place."</p><p>Kallias shifted uncomfortably at the mention of something so intimate, but Rhys nodded in understanding. "We'll be in the Cabin for the duration of Feyre's recovery, so that should help."</p><p>I nodded. "The Cabin is also where you, my sisters, and I will be going...when <em>that</em> time comes."</p><p>"Are there any updates on that end?" Kallias asked, and I wondered what he and Rhys had been discussing in the other room if not about the business of ending the coup. "What did Eris's last report say?"</p><p>"He's managed to keep Keir at bay, hashing out details and negotiations for their supposed alliance and dragging them out for as long as he's needed to replenish the armies affected by their fighting," Rhys began. "According to his latest report, we should be expecting his soldiers any day now, along with Tamlin's."</p><p>"And then?" Viviane asked, holding Eira impossibly closer.</p><p>"Then we will lift the wards on our numbers, and have them march on the Ironcrest camp," Rhys started.</p><p>"Where that coward, Kallon, will inform Keir, and summon him here?" Kallias finished.</p><p>Rhys nodded. "Then we put an end to this for good."</p><p>I shivered at the darkness that laced in the promise of his words, and he quickly placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.</p><p>"What will you do with them?" Viviane quietly asked.</p><p>"Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel will deal with the Illyrians. As for Keir, we'll be handing him over to Mor. She's free to do as she wishes with him" I answered. Viviane nodded in approval, knowing the history and relationship our friend had with both her parents.</p><p>"Are you sure we can trust all of this in Eris's hands?" Kallias asked, his demeanor having shifted to a harder one.</p><p>"Azriel is keeping a close watch with his network of spies," I answered for Rhys.</p><p>"Not to mention with his court being in such shambles, entering another war against all of us, would be an extremely foolish move on his end," my mate added.</p><p>I scoffed. "Plus, he's probably enjoying his new position too much to risk losing it."</p><p>Our friends shared a wary glance, their eyes conveying their own silent exchange. "We trust you," Viviane finally said, adjusting Eira in her arms.</p><p>Rhys dipped his head in acknowledgement before turning to Kallias. "We'll ensure Viviane and Eira are safe with Feyre and her sisters in the cabin. Since the attack on Velaris we've set up stronger wards on all our properties."</p><p>Kallias's tense shoulders seemed to relax a bit at Rhys's reassurance for his daughter and Viviane's safety.</p><p>"I guess this time around you two will have to do without us." Viviane joked half-heartedly, though I could tell she harbored the same desire I had to do more for this fight.</p><p><em>You are doing plenty, my love, I promise you</em>, Rhys said through the bond.</p><p><em>By that you mean carrying Sebastian?</em> I mused back.</p><p><em>That </em>is<em> the most important thing right now, and more than I could have ever asked for.</em></p><p>I smiled at him, squeezing the hand on my shoulder, but we both looked up as a knock came from the sitting room. I saw Viviane flinch, bringing Eira close again.</p><p>"It's just Mor," Rhys reassured before waving a hand, opening the door for her.</p><p>Viviane smiled sheepishly at me as Mor entered the room. The blonde brightened when she saw her friend, but wisely didn't rush over to embrace her after noticing how protectively she held her child.</p><p>"Sorry to interrupt, I know you wanted to wait to greet the rest of us at dinner," Mor said empathetically to Viviane and Kallias. "But Azriel's spies returned from the Autumn Court with a report from Eris," she said to Rhysand and I.</p><p>"What did it say?" I asked, my heart beating faster.</p><p>"He's finalized his 'plans' with Keir, and his soldiers just arrived at Windhaven," she replied, her dark eyes hardening.</p><p>"What about the troops Spring promised?" Rhys asked, voice equally serious-his dark shadows beginning to stir.</p><p>I noticed the room growing colder as Kallias's own powers stirred at the news. "Cassian reported they're set to arrive at dawn," Mor said.</p><p>"So, it's time then, to lift the wards?" I asked—my words coming out more tense than I meant.</p><p>Rhys nodded stiffly. "As soon as the Spring soldiers arrive, we'll lift the wards. Keir and Kallon will surely meet us once we arrive at the Ironcrest camp."</p><p>"How long will that take, approximately?" Kallias asked, moving closer to his wife and mate-who rested her cheek atop Eira's head, still swaddled and sleeping in her arms.</p><p>"A day or two, at the most," Rhys answered.</p><p>We all exchanged the same strained, knowing, look and I wondered if they could hear the pounding of my heart as it settled over me that the time for this ill-fated encounter was at last about to reach its conclusion.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The entire estate was abuzz with activity in preparation for the encounter with Keir and his legion of rebels. As predicted, once Rhys and the other High Lords had lifted the wards from our armed forces, Kallon alerted the steward and frantically gathered the Illyrian numbers he rallied for his rebellion. We had all been surprised when Azriel's reports indicated that those numbers had dropped—not significantly, but enough to know that we now had an advantage over the Illyrians. Those who abandoned Kallon's Illyrian rebels appeared at neither camp, leaving Cassian to assume they were remaining indifferent to either side. Regardless, they would be dealt with after this ordeal.</p><p>Through this nightmare, my heart not only ached for my mate—for the pain he endured knowing it was his mother's people who sought to betray him, but for Cassian as well. He commanded those armies, fought at their side through two wars, trained in their camps and, in spite of their ire, sought their approval. Their losses were his as well, and he took the brunt of the blame onto himself, along with their distaste. From the beginning, I saw the pain that swirled behind those hazel eyes; knowing despite everything he did, how hard he tried, they saw him as nothing more than a bastard-born Illyrian and aspired to bring him and his brothers down.</p><p>In the two days it took for Keir and his Darkbringers to arrive at Ironcrest, amidst the frenzy that ensued at the estate while every High Lord present worked and met with us in order to prepare, I tried time and time again to find a moment alone with Cassian. I wasn't sure what I would say, how I would comfort him, but I at least wanted to offer him <em>some</em> kind of support. He had spent the last several months, the duration of my pregnancy, trying to set me at ease; promising an end to the coup and the rebel Illyrians, all the while his own inner turmoil caused him a great deal of pain that was long-stemmed. It was my turn now to offer him some peace in the hours leading up to a confrontation he previously hoped would never occur.</p><p>By the time I managed to find the general, I had thought he was alone in the library—only seeing his winged shadow outside the double doors, until I heard Nesta's voice mingling with his in a tense and hushed conversation. I had been too far away from the doors to hear their discussion, but based on how impassioned my sister's low voice sounded, I knew better than to interrupt. Ever since opening up to me about her loss and her time with Cassian in the mountains, Nesta again began to warm towards me. She still held onto that powerful veneer, but I was glad to see that she no longer used it to push me away. Instead, she surprised my mate and I by showing up in Rhys's office with Cassian just moments before our morning meeting. With Keir and Kallon officially together at the Ironcrest camp, this would be our last assembly before all the High Lords and our forces left.</p><p>"I'll be going to this encounter," Nesta said after we concluded the session. "Since my sister is unable to travel in her condition, I will be going in her stead; as a representative of the High Lady of the Night Court."</p><p>I stared at her in disbelief, shocked that she not only acknowledged my position, but that she was volunteering to face a potentially violent conflict—for me. Despite the healthier state of mind she was in a decade later, I knew the events that took place with Hybern were still raw for her; as they still were for me. Yet here she was now, offering to represent my position in our court. I glanced at Cassian, but judging by his arrogant smirk, he already knew of her plans. I briefly exchanged a look with Rhys, a small smile on his face, but his eyes conveyed a very simple response: it was up to me.</p><p>I paused as I turned to look at my sister. Her chin set and hands clasped formerly across her abdomen as her grey-blue eyes stared intensely at mine. "Are you sure?" I asked, unable to help but be a little hesitant.</p><p>She simply nodded, unyielding. "It isn't right. For me to sit idle, when I am capable. After what happened last time-" she paused, thinking back to the attack on Velaris—when we had been housed safely in the Cabin with Elain. "You have your health, your youngling, to worry about. As your eldest sister, I can do more. I can represent you and your position in this court."</p><p>My eyes burned as I dipped my head in approval. "Thank you, Nesta."</p><p>"Well this will be a welcome addition," Helion mused. "Given how the Illyrians quake in her presence."</p><p>"Perhaps some may drop their weapons at the very sight of her," Thesan added.</p><p>"That may be wishful thinking," Tarquin said, though he too acknowledged the unnerving demeanor my sister possessed.</p><p>We all did, and knew that her attendance would no doubt send a clear message in this coup. Her powers were still unknown to us, whether she knew of them or not—she never said, but the lethal aura about her remained as strongly as it had the day she'd been made.</p><p>"If no one else has anything to add, then I say it's time," Rhys said with a look at the other High Lords, their entourages, and then at me.</p><p>My eyes still burned as I met his, my heart pounding in my chest and I wondered if he could hear it—feel it, down the bond. When no one else spoke up, he cleared his throat. "I will take Feyre up to the Cabin and meet you all at the designated camp just outside of Ironcrest," he said.</p><p>"I'll meet you there with Viviane and Eira once they are ready, it shouldn't be long, and your shadowsinger has shared the coordinates of where I should winnow," Kallias added.</p><p>Azriel nodded at the High Lord of Winter before addressing us. "I will bring Elain at the same time the High Lord and Lady of Winter arrive," he said quietly.</p><p>"Thank you Azriel," I said, quickly swiping at a stray tear.</p><p>The emotion laced in my words was indication enough for everyone to leave and attend to any last minute preparations. They were gone in a matter of seconds, but I hardly noticed; unable to look away from Rhys's violet eyes. With the room cleared, he stepped closer, holding my face gently as he brushed away the tears that began to fall in earnest.</p><p>"I know I <em>can't</em> go, but," I sniffed. "I don't know how I'll be able to part with you, knowing the danger you face. I...I…"</p><p>Rhys pressed his brow against mine as I wept and held me closer. For days my hormones had left me anxious for the moment my mate would leave with the others and put an end to Keir and his betrayal; so, I allowed myself to give into those emotions and the tears that accompanied them. These precious seconds in my mate's arms were just what I needed in order to feel at ease—to let him go while I stayed behind with our unborn child. Once my crying subsided, I lifted my eyes to his again and pulled back just enough to now hold his face in my hands and stare into his sparkling violet eyes.</p><p>"Don't let him get a rise out of you. You are a warrior, and warriors know when to pick their fights," I began, reiterating the very words he said to me during the war with Hybern. "Their crimes won't go unpunished. You are the High Lord of the Night Court, night triumphant. You go there, put an end to this treachery, and come back to me—to <em>us</em>, alive." I said fiercely, my voice quavering as our breaths mingled.</p><p>Rhysand's answering grin was slow as he nodded his head. "I swear it, High Lady," he said before pulling me into a deep kiss.</p><hr/><p>Even with my mate's promise, I couldn't help pacing about the living area of the Cabin once he, Kallias, and Azriel left. Elain and Viviane eyed me warily as I moved, Eira peacefully sleeping in a small cradle Viviane had brought along and placed just beside the leather sofa.</p><p>"Feyre, why don't you come rest?" Viviane urged as she stood, crossing over to where I had stopped pacing and began rubbing a sore spot on my lower back.</p><p>I shook my head. "I can't sit still," I said as my only reply.</p><p>It was true. The uncertainty of the events unfolding at this very moment left me restless. Until I knew Rhysand, our allies, and my friends and family were safe, I would remain on edge.</p><p>Viviane touched my shoulder gently. "You do know that walking around so vigorously can stimulate the body into going into early labor? If you keep pacing around here like this, you might very well give birth before the others return," she gave me a wry smile when I hesitated. "We don't want that now do we?"</p><p>I sighed in defeat and allowed her to help me back to the sofa, helping me lower myself onto the seat slowly.</p><p>Elain popped up just as I sat with a grunt, "I'll make us some tea!" However, just as she said that, a freshly brewed pot appeared on the table before us—along with three tea cups. She laughed nervously, remembering the magic that existed here, before going to pour us each a cup.</p><p>"I know it's hard not to worry, believe me," Viviane said as she sat beside me. "But think of it this way: this issue will finally be resolved."</p><p>I sighed in irritation. "That's all anyone has been telling me for days, what I've been telling myself," I snapped back, but immediately regretted it.</p><p>For her part, Viviane smiled in understanding-all too familiar with the quick shifts in mood that pregnancy caused.</p><p>"I just hate feeling like some kind of damsel in distress," I admitted.</p><p>"You are anything but, Feyre," Elain said as she handed me a cup.</p><p>
  <em>She's right, my love</em>
</p><p>I nearly startled at the sound of Rhys's voice through the bond. <em>Is it over?</em> I asked in return.</p><p>His dark chuckle made me shiver. <em>Unfortunately, we haven't started yet. We're on the front lines, waiting for Keir and Kallon to arrive</em></p><p>I gulped and knew this time he could feel my heart racing. <em>I thought you might want to see things firsthand, rather than have me fill you in later</em></p><p>Through the bond, I felt his offering hand, dark talons beckoning me as I took it. His black adamant shields yielded to me, and a second later I was looking through my mate's eyes. From his peripheral vision, I could see Nesta standing immediately to his left while Mor and Amren stood at either side of them—Azriel and Cassian flanking them. Based on all our meetings, I knew the other High Lords, excluding Eris, were lined up just behind them. In spite of the crisp air in the Illyrian mountains, I could feel the sun on my mates' skin, could see it reflecting off his Illyrian leathers. Unlike my galloping heart, Rhys's was steady and calm; even as his sharp eyes picked up movement in the distance.</p><p>Slowly, arrogantly, Keir walked with Kallon and the commander of his Darkbringer army on either side of him. His hands were neatly folded behind his back, as they often were whenever we saw him at the Hewn City, his chin lifted proudly. Kallon at least had the sense to look a little intimidated at the sight of the three most powerful Illyrians in history on the opposite side of the battlefield; that intimidation probably coming not only from his lack of experience, but from his unexpected lack of numbers with the Illyrians. As he approached, I could see their soldiers following at a distance, but as the trio got closer, the troops stopped.</p><p>I could feel Rhys's muscles tense, wings flaring slightly at the steward's outright arrogance as he approached with a smug grin. I noticed Mor's own muscles go rigid, Amren and Nesta remained the picture of menacing ease, their cool facade's masking any rage they might've been feeling. Finally, with only a few dozen paces between them, Keir stopped in his tracks—meeting my mate face-to-face.</p><p>"Rhysand," the older male said by way of greeting.</p><p>I heard Mor growl from beside Rhys. "My lord," she corrected.</p><p>Keir didn't acknowledge her, his dark gaze penetrating as they stayed on mine—on Rhysand's.</p><p>"You forget yourself, Keir," he replied coolly, ever the embodiment of casual grace, even in the face of such blatant disrespect and deceit. "Since when do you address your High Lord by first name, and so casually too?"</p><p>The male seemed to ignore Rhys's words altogether, simply casting a glance over my mate's shoulder at the other High Lords aligned behind him—their forces also staged at an interval behind them.</p><p>"I see you've rallied this bunch. How you all actually managed to become <em>friends</em> after Hybern is truly a surprise to me," Keir scoffed, his disdain echoing for the word 'friends' in particular.</p><p>"Especially with that one," he motioned to Tamlin standing beside Tarquin at the far-right of the line.</p><p>I could feel Rhys's patience wavering, his dark powers seeping into his shadows and making them stir lightly. I ran my delicate fingertips along his shields to calm him, sending him another reminder: <em>You are Night Triumphant. </em>He<em> is nothing.</em></p><p>"You openly plot against me, my mate, my crown, by rallying your army and joining with rebellious Illyrians in order to...what? Overthrow me? Kill me and take my throne as your own?" Rhys asked, his rage still in check for now.</p><p>"I've only come to take back what has rightfully belonged to my bloodline for centuries, before that ancestor of yours came along and claimed the seat of the High Lord for himself," Keir replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was one thing for your father to rule as High Lord, but to allow a half-breed disgrace to sully the throne? I have been complacent for far too long, especially now with that mate of yours carrying an abomination of such obscure proportions."</p><p>I felt Rhys hold back a growl, every ounce in his body wanting to retaliate for the threat against his mate, against me and our unborn child. Instead, he appeared outwardly unfazed. "You mean to demean my position by pointing out that I am half Illyrian, and yet here you are, allied with them," he said casually, his mask remaining the picture of ease.</p><p>"The Illyrians don't want a half-breed High Lord anymore than Keir and his lot do," Kallon spoke up. His voice was strong, but young, attesting to the inexperienced warrior that he was.</p><p>"You can come back once you've been around and bled for a few centuries, boy," Cassian retorted, all seven siphons flickering. "In the meantime, you're too wet behind the ears to speak on behalf of the Illyrians."</p><p>Keir shot Kallon a warning glance that silenced him. Turning back to Rhys, Keir straightened his shoulders, but before he could answer with some clever reply, Rhys cut him off with a laugh. A dark, whole-bodied guffaw that I had never heard come from him before. It was unscrupulous and dripped with condescension. I didn't have to see the rest of our party to feel the mood shift.</p><p>"Am I meant to be intimidated? You have your army of Darkbringers, who are assuredly substantial in numbers and skill, but yet ally yourself with the self-appointed leader of mutinous Illyrians, while said leader has only lived a couple of decades and has never seen the true course of battle," Rhys shook his head with another dark chuckle. "Perhaps the centuries haven't fared so well for you after all, it seems old age has made you lose all sense of reality"</p><p>The older male narrowed his gaze, darkened eyes igniting with contempt. "You think me a fool, Rhysand? That I wouldn't find a suitable ally outside these winged brutes?" Kallon's stare was seditious, but Keir ignored him and finally met Mor's gaze. "Perhaps, daughter, you would be glad to see another familiar face?"</p><p>Mor only raised an unamused brow at him, the sound of approaching footsteps coming from behind the group. Through my mate's eyes I saw Keir's widen as Eris stepped in line beside Tamlin; with the other High Lord's of Prythian he scoffed at only minutes before.</p><p>"Sorry about my pretty lies, Keir, but it was just too easy tricking another old male out of his sense of entitlement," Eris remarked, and though I couldn't see him, I could hear the hubris in his voice as he addressed the steward.</p><p>The male fumed at Eris's words, refusing to meet Rhysand's gaze as my mate took a step forward. "Surrender now, Keir. It's time to wake up and realize just how futile your efforts have been," Rhys said, the commanding voice of the most powerful High Lord in Prythian returning.</p><p>Of course, Keir continued to seethe as he returned a detestable look at Mor before finally facing Rhys again. He took a couple of steps forward, nostrils flaring as he spat, "You think I will yield so easily? I will correct the mistake I made centuries ago with you and murder that <em>monstrosity</em> your mate will bear in its cradle."</p><p>As soon as that last word came out of his mouth, everything seemed to move slowly. Blinding, white-hot rage exploded within my mate, but before he could even react, it was Mor that winnowed from his side in a split second to her father. She winnowed in behind him, an Illyrian dagger in hand, and stabbed him straight through the throat—blood splattering on her face as Keir's eyes widened again. He seemed to try and speak before Mor twisted the blade, pushing it further into his flesh. A wet, strangled sound came out of Keir's mouth as it filled with blood, Mor then kicked the back of his legs and sent him to his knees. I saw her mutter something into his ear, but couldn't hear the exact words before his body dropped to the ground in front of her.</p><p>As blood pooled from his throat, Mor stood over his body and didn't look up when Kallon shot to the skies, yelling orders to their Illyrian forces; the Darkbringer commander turning and shouting similar orders before drawing a blade aimed at Mor, who in her adrenaline-filled rage quickly pulled out her own and stabbed him through the gut. The last thing I heard was Cassian's own shouts before Rhys pushed me from his mind, sending me back to the Cabin without warning.</p><p>I gasped as though I had been holding my breath throughout the entire ordeal, grasping at my chest and stomach simultaneously as I heaved for breaths. Viviane and Elain were already at my side, but I couldn't make out anything they were saying to me as my mind raced from what I had just witnessed. Of the blood that seeped into the grass, of the gurgling sounds Keir made as he lay dying, the sounds of blades being drawn, and orders being yelled. I squeezed my eyes shut as the images kept flashing through my vision, breathing becoming nearly unattainable as I tried to desperately fight them away; reprising memories of my mate lying dead on the ground after the last war beginning to flash along with the others.</p><p>
  <em>No no no no no no no</em>
</p><p>I couldn't lose him; I couldn't lose <em>any</em> of them.</p><p>
  <em>Rhysand.Rhysand.Rhysand!</em>
</p><p>Suddenly, I felt a gentle glimmer at my core, followed by the movement of my son stretching inside of me. That glimmer seemed to warm me from the inside out as my panic slowly ebbed away, Viviane and Elain's voices finally coming through.</p><p>"Feyre? Can you hear me?" It was Viviane, and I realized then that her hands held my shoulders gently.</p><p>I opened my eyes gradually and met with her piercing and concerned blue eyes. My breaths finally regulated as she guided me back into a normal breathing cycle, knowing that I could at last hear her words. I realized then that I was clutching my belly and looked down at it as I felt my son move again. I loosed another slow breath and caressed it instead, closing my eyes as tears slipped down my cheeks.</p><p>"Oh Feyre," Elain whispered as she sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me carefully.</p><p>I leaned into her embrace, silently crying as I began to relax—this abating moment contrasting with the one I had with Rhys. Viviane rubbed my shoulder gently, and they both waited patiently for me to calm.</p><p>"I was there," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I saw what happened, through Rhysand's eyes."</p><p>Viviane frowned, "Are they all right?" She asked.</p><p>I paused. "I saw Keir die. Mor stabbed him in the throat, and then they were all shouting. Just as the fighting was about to begin, he sent me back." I said, meeting her worried gaze apologetically.</p><p>I felt Elain go rigid as I explained how Keir had been killed, no doubt recalling the gruesome details of how she had done the same with the King of Hybern. I pulled back from her arms slowly, sitting upright with a weary sigh before I went into a full detailed account of everything I had seen—that had been said and done. By the end of it, Viviane's concern seemed to marginalize.</p><p>"They'll be all right," she said. "Keir and Kallon were vastly outnumbered, so the fighting won't last for much longer. They'll have no choice but to surrender."</p><p>I nodded, though a kernel of doubt still lingered. I looked down at my stomach again, rubbing the expanse of it as my son continued to stretch and kick at his leisure. The glimmering reminder that was him had brought me back to reality, from the edge of my panic. I closed my eyes as I felt him move, feeling another flutter in response as I continued to stroke my belly.</p><p>
  <em>Thank you, baby.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Hours passed and there was still no word from the others. I tried reaching down the bond on a few occasions, only to be met with my mate's impenetrable black adamant. As time went on, Eira was a welcome distraction. She awoke from her nap in good spirits, cooing and smiling at Viviane and Elain as they fussed over her. I watched from my seat with a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes as I idly brushed my fingers along my stomach, thoughts still on my mate and the others as I wondered what held them for so long.</p><p>There was no doubt our numbers outweighed theirs; so, while we had hoped fighting wouldn't ensue, now that it had, it should've been settled quickly—a slaughter. I did my best to focus on Eira, picturing what my own future with Sebastian would be in a few short months, but every few minutes or so my thoughts returned to Rhysand and the others. I thought of Mor and how aptly she took out her father and his commander, what possible ramifications would come from her impulses, though I couldn't blame her for it. I wondered if Nesta and Amren had been able to keep a safe distance once the fighting began; if Azriel or Cassian would be hurt while taking down their own kind, though I knew the latter would feel more of a burden than the former.</p><p>Finally, a knock came at the door before it opened, Rhys striding inside with Azriel and Kallias following closely behind.</p><p>"Oh, thank the Cauldron!" Viviane exclaimed, gathering Eira to her breast as she quickly stood.</p><p>Kallias had his daughter and mate wrapped in his arms only seconds later, but I was too distracted with my own overwhelming relief as I saw my mate. I choked on a sob as those star-flecked violet eyes met mine, and as I struggled to push myself upright, Rhysand quickly pulled me into an embrace as he dropped to his knees before me. I slid forward, meeting his knees with mine as I landed on the ground, kissing his face and brushing back the loose strands of his hair as he did the same.</p><p><em>Tell me you're alright</em>. I pleaded</p><p>
  <em>I am, Feyre. Everything's alright</em>
</p><p>Though the three of them were dirty and bloodied, their faces showing the exhaustion of battle, they were here in one piece. They were alive and safe.</p><p>Rhysand's hands held my stomach gently as our brows touched, his eyes lined with silver as he stroked it gently, solace washing over him as well.</p><p>
  <em>Is he...?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He's fine, we both are.</em>
</p><p>His shoulders went slack as one hand held my hip firmly. "The others…?" I asked aloud, my voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>"Fine," he said as he pressed a kiss to my brow and pulled away from me.</p><p>He helped me back onto the sofa as we faced the others. Kallias had an arm slid behind Viviane's back, and from the corner of my eye I saw Elain quickly pull her hands away from Azriel's when Rhys rose to his feet. There were still tears welled in her eyes, and I saw the shadowsinger curl his scarred fists closed once Elain's delicate ones left his touch.</p><p>"The bastards managed to hold their own for a while, but with hardly any leadership in the wake of Keir's death, we had them overrun after an hour or so," Rhys explained to us.</p><p>"Kallon's novice knowledge as a warrior showed. He stood no chance against Cassian's direction and tactics," Azriel added.</p><p>"Is he dead too?" I asked.</p><p>"Not yet. Cassian got a hold of him and knocked him unconscious. Probably would've killed him, if Rhysand hadn't insisted they take him prisoner," Kallias answered.</p><p>A quick nod at Azriel, "We have plans for him and the other camp lords that went against us." Rhys said.</p><p>"But Keir <em>is</em> dead? Mor killed him?" Viviane asked.</p><p>"Yes, him and about a dozen other Darkbringers. Outside of that, there weren't many casualties," Kallias replied.</p><p>"We spent the rest of the time rounding up the rest of their army as they surrendered, stationing prisoner camps that Cassian, Azriel and Devlon will oversee as we plan our next steps," Rhys went on. "As for the Darkbringers, Mor and Amren are taking them back to the Hewn City."</p><p>I gulped as I recalled Mor's rage and thought of how she would handle the army of traitors her father raised. I sighed shakily and motioned for Rhys as my relief was replaced by a wave of nausea. Taking note of my illness, he helped me to my feet without another word and I quickly crossed over to the nearest bathing room—making it to the toilet just in time as I vomited. I could barely hear the sound of the voices talking in the other room over the sound of my retching, but only a minute later Rhys entered the bathing room with me, holding my hair and rubbing my back until the nausea passed.</p><p>Resting my back against the hard planes of his chest, I closed my eyes as he flushed away the mess and summoned a cool washcloth to place on my forehead. He then lifted me in his arms easily, carrying me down the hallway and towards the small bedroom.</p><p>"They left?" I asked after I noticed how quiet it was.</p><p>Rhys nodded as he sat me on the bed, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "Feel better?" he asked.</p><p>I sighed heavily with a slight nod, removing the damp cloth from my head. "Yes...I think everything just hit me," I said tiredly, truly feeling the weight of it all lifting.</p><p>
  <em>Is Mor okay?</em>
</p><p>"She's been waiting for that moment for centuries. Today she finally had enough," Rhys replied aloud—exhaustion as clear in his voice as it was in his eyes.</p><p>I nodded in acknowledgment and squeezed his hand, taking note of the blood that still coated his fingers. "It's over…" I whispered.</p><p>Rhys squeezed my hand back, the bed giving way as he sat beside me. "Yes, it is."</p><p>"There's still so much to do," I said, mind beginning to race.</p><p>"There is," he confirmed, a strong hand returning to the apex of my belly. "But we still have time before he comes."</p><p>My eyes stung as my sense of relief returned and I let out a wet laugh as he stroked my stomach. "He'll be safe," I said with a quiet sob.</p><p>His eyes stayed on my stomach, those beautiful eyes going distant. "He would have never been in danger if I wasn't the male that I am. If you hadn't accepted our bond, or married me, then-"</p><p>"I wouldn't be here right now if you weren't the male you are, Rhysand. He wouldn't exist without you, and I...I wouldn't either," I interrupted as I took his face in my hands again, forcing him to meet my fierce gaze.</p><p>Those violet eyes shattered at my words and a second later his arms were wrapped around me once again, pulling me onto his lap as I enveloped my arms around him in return and held him just as closely. I shook with a sob as I buried my face in his hair as his lips brushed against my neck and breathed in my scent. With this burden lifted from both of our shoulders, we no longer had to pretend to enjoy whatever short-lived peace we had been afforded during this ordeal. We now had a peace that had the potential to last for a great deal longer; a peace that our son would be born into and thrive.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week into our newfound peace, Rhys and I were glad to be rid of Keir and the ongoing threat he posed, but now faced the aftermath of the Illyrians and the rebellion they had raised on their side of the coup. While Keir and his Darkbringer generals had been easily taken care of by Mor, we were now faced with the task of dispensing the repercussions to the Illyrian camp lords that sided with Kallon.</p><p>"I want all the camp lords dead," Rhys said—darkly and very matter-of-factly to our inner circle; all of us having gathered in the small cabin at Windhaven.</p><p>Following the battle, it only took a couple of days to round up the rogue Illyrians into the prison camps that had been established. Cassian had also separated the camp lords from their legions and imprisoned them separately. He, Azriel, Rhys and I decided early on that their sentences would differ from their soldiers as a warning that another attempt like this wouldn't be taken lightly—if our powerful friends throughout the other courts weren't foreboding enough. As the days passed, most of our court allies had returned back to their respective territories; Tamlin being the first, followed by Tarquin with the promise to send any other additional aide we might need; as well as good wishes for my mate and I and our baby. Eris left shortly after without any additional fanfare, but gave us a less-than subtle reminder of his father who continued to rot in their dungeons, though any thoughts of possibly dealing with the elder male left me weary. Rhys assured me that Eris would be more than pleased to manage with his father. Only a few days after that, Helion and Thesan agreed to stay behind with their general commanders and a small intel of higher-ranking soldiers in order to help keep an eye on our newly stationed prisons. They decided to leave the rest of this issue in our hands by wisely sitting out of the meetings Rhys and I had with our family.</p><p>Cassian visibly stiffened at my mate's words, but before he had a chance to protest, I held up a hand and turned to him. "That is almost half of the camp lords in Illyria, some that have been in their position for centuries, Rhys," I shared a quick exchange with Cassian, who looked on with approval.</p><p>"You, Cassian, and Azriel came to the conclusion long ago that this had to be dealt with more delicately, right?" I posed.</p><p>The tension in Rhys's shoulders remained, but his face shifted from dark to moderate as his eyes trailed over my rounded stomach; more pronounced than ever at this stage, and more so while I sat in the chair at the table we gathered around. With only a little less than two months to go, I was growing increasingly uncomfortable as the days dragged on. With the dust settled, the adrenaline I had gathered in the past weeks began to dissipate—leaving me with the aches and pains I had grown accustomed to, along with my more sluggish movement.</p><p>Rhys's gaze lingered on my stomach. "That was a decade ago, when we were speculating. Things played out a lot differently than we originally anticipated."</p><p>"But we had a hunch on this outcome, Rhys. Feyre is right, <em>we</em> were right back then. We can't kill our way out of this one," Cassian explained.</p><p>From the corner of my eye I noticed Azriel silently watching their exchange, arms crossed, and it didn't take much to assume what his opinion on the matter was.</p><p>"Well how else do we send a message to them? Apparently executing the camps who sided with Amarantha didn't send it clear enough, because they pulled this," Mor challenged.</p><p>I turned a withered gaze in her direction. She did have a point, but I still couldn't help feeling that simply sentencing high-ranking Illyrians to death wasn't the answer we needed.</p><p>"That, and the losses they suffered from the war with Hybern only added to their list of grievances against us. Adding more to their dead would only strengthen that point for them," Cassian argued.</p><p>"These people are ruthless," Nesta pointed out, staring Cassian down hard as his head turned at her words. "The only way to match that and make sure our point is received is by being equally merciless."</p><p>"The girl has a point, Cassian." Amren drawled from her spot next to me, her petite legs draped casually on the table. "Violence begets violence."</p><p>"We don't need any more violence," Elain suddenly said, surprisingly assertive—even as everyone directed their astonished stares at her.</p><p>"Feyre is about to have a baby. That baby is going to take over as High Lord one day, and we don't want him inheriting the difficulties you all have been dealing with for centuries," she explained. "The whole reason we sought to end this coup was to herald in a new era of peace. So, we have to establish that now. Somehow."</p><p>I smiled gratefully in return and noticed that while Nesta and Cassian stared at my otherwise timid sister, Azriel fought a grin on his composed face. Amren, however, allowed a long feline grin to grow on her lips.</p><p>"Wise words, girl," she said casually.</p><p>Mor's grin was friendly, but worried. "That would be ideal, but these are the Illyrians we're talking about."</p><p>"There must be <em>something</em> we can do," Elain insisted.</p><p>"There is," Rhys finally spoke up. "But will be hard pressed to find."</p><p>I drummed my fingertips along the apex of my belly, Sebastian mercifully sleeping after a night of constant kicking, and I debated aloud. "What if we took something of value to them? Something that would cost them they're rank and force them into different occupations in the camps? Like say...an ability?"</p><p>Azriel was the first to understand what I meant, eyes growing wide with an astonished blink, Rhys and Cassian following and looking equally shocked.</p><p>"That practice was banned centuries ago," Rhys said, though he didn't sound too bothered.</p><p>"In regard to females," Cassian interjected as he crossed his arms again with a smug smirk.</p><p>"It would certainly make them wish they were dead," Azriel added, also unbothered.</p><p>"And makes for a rather profound impact," I concluded with a small grin. "Any other sympathizers for their cause will think twice before trying to oppose our rule again."</p><p>Mor and Amren seemed to catch onto what we were implying, as did Nesta—who bent down to mutter in our sister's ear to inform her. Elain's eyes went wide but didn't protest.</p><p>"Well girl, it appears pregnancy hasn't affected that mischievous mind of yours," Amren mused, grey eyes almost seeming to shimmer as she spoke.</p><p>"It looks like we have our solution then," Mor said with a satisfied sigh. "Can we get the hell out of this frozen tundra now and go back to Velaris?"</p><p>Rhys nodded, placing a hand on the back of my chair. "We will, just as soon as Feyre darling delivers the sentences to the camp lords."</p><p>I blinked and turned my head to face him. "Me?" I asked.</p><p>"Well, it was your idea, my love," Rhys replied with a wicked grin.</p><p>"And since you weren't at the battle, it'd be good for them to hear and see their High Lady. Give them another reminder of your position and the power you hold as well," Cassian said.</p><p>I sighed tiredly, running both hands along the expanse of my belly. I wanted nothing more than to return to Velaris—return home and finally enjoy this newly-granted peace, before a new chaos ensued in the form of a newborn high fae infant.</p><p>
  <em>I promise, the first thing I'll do when we return to Velaris is draw you a warm bath</em>
</p><p><em>And bring me as many chocolate covered strawberries as I want?</em> I asked in return.</p><p>His responding chuckle was aloud as he placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. <em>I'll bring you whatever you're craving and more, my love</em></p><p>I smiled at him in return before facing the others. "All right, I'll address the camp lords and hand out their sentences, but I don't think I can stomach watching it all be carried out."</p><p>"Az and I will see to that, and we'll have the other prisoners and camp lords bear witness. That will guarantee that none of them ever try anything like this again," Cassian promised, though for a second I saw a glimmer of that long-held pain reflected in his eyes.</p><p>After the week it took to gather the last of our prisoners and the last efforts it took to clean up this mess, I still didn't get that moment alone to speak with Cassian. The night following the battle, Rhys had let down his black adamant shields, allowing me to see the fighting that took place after Keir's death. While the Illyrians and Darkbringers managed to hold their own for a time, they were certainly no match against our numbers with the other High Lord's forces combined. Even through his memories I could feel the ache my mate felt when facing his own people; the people and traditions he had been primarily raised in thanks to his mother. That ache and betrayal was just as present in Cassian, who would let out frustrated shouts of anger as he fought his fellow Illyrian warriors. Through Rhys's memory, I saw flashes of Cassian in battle and the inner turmoil he endured as he took down Illyrian after Illyrian. Both he and Rhys did their best to only knock them unconscious rather than kill them outright, but there were instances when it was their only option.</p><p>I stared at Cassian a little longer than I meant to, having realized it when he frowned with concern. "Feyre?" he asked.</p><p>I looked down at my lap, half covered by my belly, and squeezed Rhys's hand, still on my shoulder. "I need a moment with Cassian, please," I said to no one in particular.</p><p>Rhys pressed a kiss to the crown of my head as confirmation, and I didn't look up as I heard the scrapping of chairs as the others filed out of the cabin one-by-one. I waited until I heard the soft click of the door closing before I lifted my head to face the general—my general and commander.</p><p>My eyes stung as I sighed. "Cassian, I...I never got to apologize to you, for all of this," I started softly. "For your own people turning on you, and Rhys, and Az. For you having to fight them at all. I-I can't imagine how hard it must've been for you during that battle."</p><p>He crossed over to my side, pulling out a chair and turning it to face mine as he sat across from me. "Feyre, <em>you're </em>not the one who should be apologizing, there is no <em>need</em>," he said before taking my hands in his. "I have dealt with the Illyrians' resentment for centuries and learned a long time ago that I would never be more than some bastard-born nobody to them. I've accepted that."</p><p>"Still, to have to take down your own, to face them across the field and know of their intentions…" I said and shook my head with a sigh.</p><p>"It might've stung a little, but my loyalties lie elsewhere," he said with a small squeeze of my hands.</p><p>I offered him a sad smile in return, but he grinned. "I may command these legions, and consider myself a proud Illyrian male, but that is separate from you, Rhys, and the others. The Illyrians may be the foundation on which I was raised and trained, but Velaris—the rest of you, are my people."</p><p>Tears sprang to my eyes before I had the chance to control them and Cassian laughed, standing so he could kneel at my side and wrap an arm around my shoulders. He rubbed my back lightly as I cried.</p><p>"I'm beginning to wonder if you'll ever return back to the old Feyre once the little one is born. She was able to control her tears better," he contemplated.</p><p>I shoved his shoulder and he laughed again. "You have no idea how hard it is to control my emotions right now," I motioned to my stomach. "He has complete control over me."</p><p>"Oh, I don't envy that at all," he said before standing upright and offering me a hand up.</p><p>I sniffed as I took his hand, standing with a grunt of effort and resting a hand on the small of my back. "Thank you, Cassian," I said. "For helping make his world safer."</p><p>Cassian grinned in return, bowing with a hand over his heart—as he had when he swore his first oath to me. "Anything in service and protection for my High Lady," he said with a wink.</p><p>I laughed and after clearing away any lingering tears, he escorted me outside of the cabin; where I would address the imprisoned Illyrian camp lords and perform as High Lady for the last time before giving birth to their future High Lord.</p><hr/><p>Rhys's speech had been short and to the point. We agreed he would address the camp lords first before turning the verdict of their punishment to me. The minute the word <em>clipped</em> left my mouth, audible shocked gasps could be heard from the other camp residents and prisoners. Devlon's face was steeled over, despite having agreed with us on this course of action, I imagined the thought of losing one's ability to fly made every male here recoil—though Devlon's face remained as hard as ever.</p><p>Half of the camp lords looked disbelieving, thinking we wouldn't actually follow through on such a promise; until Kallon himself foolishly stepped forward and expressed as much, followed by spitting on the ground in front of where Rhys and I stood. Azriel had been quick in his response, a cobalt siphon flickering before a blue light shot out and flattened Kallon on his back—bright blue netting holding him down as he thrashed to get free. Azriel slowly walked over and forced one of the male's wings open, Truth-Teller in hand, before swiftly and brutally making the cut.</p><p>I tried not to look away even as my stomach churned at the male's screams. I continued to watch in abject horror until Rhys placed a hand on my back and led me away without another word, Cassian stepping into our place as we left.</p><p>The screams followed me all the way back to Velaris, Rhys carrying me in his arms as we flew through the skies as carefully as possible. Even now as I stood on the front balcony of the estate, overlooking the Sidra and city beyond, the anguished screams echoed through my mind for much longer than I wanted. It wasn't remorse that twisted in my gut—no, Kallon and every camp lord that decided to follow him deserved to be clipped as their punishment.</p><p>"It's the centuries and centuries you know that practice was performed on females," Rhys suddenly said from behind me, and I realized my shields were down as I twisted to find him leaning against the doorframe leading back into the estate. "And you're worried how they might retaliate."</p><p>I frowned, running both hands over the front of my stomach, holding it. "Do you think they will?" I asked softly.</p><p>Rhys sauntered over to me, pressing a lingering kiss to my brow. "It's certainly a possibility, but we'll be keeping a much closer eye on those camps, and the females residing there," he reassured me.</p><p>I sighed shakily with a nod, placing my hands on his shoulders. "I just...don't want them to use it as an excuse to clip any more females, even the ones that sympathized with their cause," I admitted.</p><p>"If they do, they'll pay the consequences. And for any other bullshit they try to pull," he pressed another kiss to my brow, both hands coming to hold my stomach. "But I have a feeling this will bring them down a couple notches, so we may not have anything to worry about for a while."</p><p>"I hope you're right about that," I said, closing my eyes with relief as he massaged the sides of my stomach, the muscles beneath my skin sore.</p><p>"Am I ever wrong, Feyre darling?" He asked with a wicked grin.</p><p>"You don't want me to answer that," I teased.</p><p>He gasped in mock hurt. "You wound me, my love," he said as his hands moved to my hips, eliciting a groan from my lips as he massaged the tender spots where the muscles of my stomach met my hips. "Come get some rest, it's been a hectic week."</p><p>I nodded and followed him back into our home, placing both of my hands on the small of my back as I began walking ahead of him. "Your son is starting to get heavier and heavier these days," I complained.</p><p>I glanced over my shoulder, seeing the wide grin on his face and raised a brow as he watched me walk. "What is it?" I asked.</p><p>"Your gait has changed, Feyre darling, that's all," he said as he caught up to my side, resting a hand in place of mine on my back.</p><p>I blinked. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"You're starting to waddle," he answered, his grin widening.</p><p>I balked and took a few more steps, noticing that I certainly was shifting my weight in a slight swaying motion as I walked. "Well, you can't blame me, I am carrying around a splendid burden in my gut."</p><p>"You certainly are, my love," he laughed as he guided me to the living area</p><p>I held onto both of his arms as I lowered myself onto the sofa, glad I had chosen such luxuriously soft furnishings for each room of the manor. "It's only going to get bigger...much bigger," I said as I stared at my stomach.</p><p>Rhys sat beside me, draping an arm over the back of the seat behind me. "That's a good thing. Madja says we want a healthy, cherub-cheeked babe," he said.</p><p>His violet eyes sparkled as he began stroking my stomach gently, his grin transforming into a warm smile. I smiled at him in return. "It's all just...becoming so real now. We've spent so much time worrying about the coup, and even though we had those periods of respite, it always lingered over us," I explained. "Now the only thing we have to look forward to is...becoming parents."</p><p>"Are you nervous?" Rhys asked, keeping a hand on my stomach.</p><p>I shook my head. "I'm excited to meet him, and hold him...to see <em>you</em> hold him," my eyes stung at just the mention of it and laughed at myself—exasperated at how quickly I continued to be reduced to tears.</p><p>Rhys pulled me closer, placing a kiss at my temple before moving to my ear. "I can't wait to see him in your arms, to see you nurse him and rock him to sleep," he purred.</p><p>I sniffed and nuzzled into his embrace, resting my face into the nape of his neck, breathing in his salt and citrus scent. "It's going to be wonderful isn't it?" I asked softly.</p><p>"That, and more," he replied, his chin resting atop the crown of my head as he inhaled my scent as well, both of us basking in each other as he caressed my belly—gratitude didn't even begin to explain what we were both experiencing in this moment.</p><p>Gratitude, and hope, and so much more.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was beginning to feel like this pregnancy would never end, <em>and</em> that I would never sleep again.</p><p>As the days stretched on, so did my belly, my skin, and, what felt like, the rest of my body. Along with my middle expanding to a depth I hadn't thought possible, so came the restless nights. From the beginning of my pregnancy, Sebastian had been a gentle glimmer, a beautiful heartbeat that pulsed between my mate and I. After a time, that glimmer was accompanied by light kicks and punches. Now, after a fitful two months filled with little hours of sleep and only growing increasingly uncomfortable by day, my once gentle and calm baby had grown boisterous—especially at night.</p><p>"He does hail from the Night Court," Rhys tried to reason as we lay in bed together—another sleepless evening looking to be ahead of us.</p><p>"That doesn't mean we never sleep," I complained as he caressed the large expanse of my belly.</p><p>His smile as apologetic as he pressed a kiss to my brow, lowering himself down to be eye level with my stomach. "You mustn't be so hard on your mother, Bash. You don't want to be on her bad side before you're born," he said.</p><p>I sighed as our son kicked in response, a glimmer flickering through our bond as Rhys watched my stomach; mesmerized as my skin stretched with Sebastian's movement. "I think that was his elbow I saw," he said, touching the spot gently.</p><p>My heart warmed at his reaction. "It was," I said. "But you addressing him directly isn't exactly enticing him to settle down in there."</p><p>"Right," he said, coming onto his elbows as if he could see our son through my shift and layers of skin and muscle. "Maybe some tea would help you sleep, it could settle you both."</p><p>I nodded. "Elain did mix together a new brew for me earlier, and I was able to nap right after...maybe it'll help again now," I said, pushing myself carefully.</p><p>"I'll get it for you, my love, you rest here," he said before pushing off the bed-still clad in the black clothes he wore during the day.</p><p>I watched him leave and stared down at my stomach, running my hands over it in a gentle caress. The growth I'd experienced in the last couple of months had been exponential, and I was delighted at every check in with Madja when she deemed both of us to be in good health. The midwife, the healer's sister, also regularly attended for my evaluations. She performed her own examinations, using her specialized magic to check on the baby's position and other attributes, like his size and weight—all within the expected range at this stage. At our last appointment earlier in the week, both the midwife and Madja declared that Sebastian had dropped low into my pelvis, head down, which was the correct position for birth. With that assessment, they also determined that I could now go into labor at any time. Although fae pregnancies tended to last up to five weeks longer than a human pregnancy, they assured us that females typically gave birth anywhere in between those weeks—depending on the development of their babes. Sebastian was now fully developed, healthy, strong, and ready to enter the world. Soon my period of nesting would begin and then I'd become reserved in preparation for the undertaking the birthing process would put my body through.</p><p>Initially, Rhys and I expected it to happen right away, causing my mate to go on high alert as he remained at my side for every second of the day. According to everything we had been told, as my mate, he would be the first one to sense the change in me. As the days passed, however, they went on as normal with no sign of my diffident state on the horizon. Instead, we followed the new routine and schedule Clotho created for us; meetings and usual court business officially taking place in Rhys's office where I could rest as needed in between work. After matters were settled with the Illyrians, and Mor officially taking her father's place as ruler of the Hewn City, all previous hostility in the Night Court dissipated.</p><p>"Elain had the tea ready for you." Rhys said as he re-entered our room, interrupting my thoughts, carrying a tray with a teapot, mug, and covered plates of food.</p><p>I pushed myself up with a grunt of effort, eyeing the tray. "What's all this?" I asked as he set the tray on the bed before coming to help me sit upright.</p><p>"Well, dinner was hours ago, and based on the past week alone, this is around the time your cravings start." He replied, uncovering the plates filled with an array of fruits, pastries, and a jar filled with pickled herrings.</p><p>I beamed. "You brought <em>all</em> of my cravings?"</p><p>He nodded. "Even the less desirable one," he answered with a glance at the container of herrings.</p><p>Rather than glare at him for his disdain for my cravings, I immediately grabbed the jar with glee. "It's not my fault your son demands I eat these," I countered.</p><p>"It's hard to argue that" he said with a smile, his violet eyes sparkling with adoration even as I ate one.</p><p>I sighed in content as I ate the entire contents of the jar, Rhys sitting adjacent to me and bringing my legs to rest over his lap as I leaned against the headboard for support. My sighs turned to groans of relief as he began to gently massage my ankles and feet, which had grown swollen recently thanks to walking around with my extraordinary weight.</p><p>"Don't worry, they'll shrink back to normal," Rhys assured me, making me realize my mental shields were left wide open for him.</p><p>"It's getting harder," I confessed with a sheepish smile. "To keep my shields up, concentrate on work, and lug around this belly."</p><p>Rhys nodded his understanding, still rubbing my feet. "You're allowed your discomforts right now my love. In your condition it's impossible to keep up the stamina all day," he sympathized.</p><p>"Which is why I need sleep," I said with a frown.</p><p>He reached over to the tray, pouring me a cup of the brew Elain had mixed together for me, having found the recipe and ingredients from an apothecary she found at the Palace of Bone and Salt. I eagerly took the steaming mug as he handed it to me, praying to the Mother it would settle my wriggling unborn child enough to afford me a good night's sleep.</p><p>"Hopefully with your cravings satisfied and this tea combined, you'll be asleep in no time." Rhys mused, voicing my thoughts aloud. "We wouldn't want you to be cranky during your surprise tomorrow afternoon."</p><p>I blinked. "What surprise?"</p><p>"If I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise."</p><p><em>Prick</em>.</p><p>He laughed outright. "Regardless, my lips are sealed. Your sisters and Mor have been planning this for months, and I won't spoil it."</p><p>I sighed. "I don't actually have to go anywhere do I?"</p><p>Rhys chuckled as I sipped at my tea. "No, the surprise is right here in our home," he reassured as he came to lay on his side, setting my feet back onto the bed and propping himself up on an elbow as his other hand caressed my stomach.</p><p>"Is the surprise actually for me, or for Bash?" I asked.</p><p>"My lips are sealed," he repeated before pressing a kiss to the hand lying idle on my belly. "But I have a feeling you'll enjoy it regardless."</p><p>I sighed in mock exaggeration. "I guess as High Lady I have no choice but to attend," I hummed.</p><p>"It would be strange not to, especially considering the location," Rhys added in his own playful tone.</p><p>"But I expect some recompense," I motioned to my large belly. "For my gallant efforts."</p><p>He returned with a roguish grin, "More foot rubs? Or maybe a back massage?"</p><p>I pretended to consider for a long moment, dragging it out as I sipped from my tea, before I finally nodded. "Both will do," I agreed.</p><p>His dark chuckle reverberated through the room, through me, as he moved onto his hands and knees to level our gazes and pressed a kiss to my brow—staying there for a minute. Setting my now empty mug aside, I brought my hands up to hold either side of his face; both of our eyes slipping shut as he remained hovering above me, breathing in each other's scent. After a minute of relishing each other's warmth, I couldn't help the yawn that broke from my throat as Rhys pulled back with a smirk.</p><p>"Let's get you to sleep," he said softly.</p><p>I nodded, my eyelids actually feeling heavy as he helped me into a side-lying position; using his magic to wave away the tray of leftover food as well as his day clothes, leaving him in only his undershorts as he lay beside me. It was here, in his continued warmth and lingering scent that I finally succumbed into a much-needed sleep.</p><hr/><p>I could still pick up on the residuals of Rhysand's scent when I awoke the next morning—or rather, the afternoon, judging from the way the sunlight shone through the gossamer curtains in our room. I stretched onto my back slowly with a yawn, a new tray of food showing up on the space beside me and a note popping up alongside it. I smiled as I grabbed it, reading the quick words my mate had written.</p><p>
  <em>Have some breakfast my love and come join me in the nursery.</em>
</p><p>My smile warmed before I slowly pushed myself upright, my stomach growling—a not so subtle indication from Sebastian at how hungry we both were. I took my time eating through the assortment of food Rhys had picked out for me, knowing whatever awaited me in the nursery had something to do with the surprise my sisters and Mor had for me. Once we had returned from the Illyrian camps, following the coup, Elain finally completed all plans she had for the full reconstruction of the nursery, once our sitting room, and recruited Nesta and Mor to see to its fruition. For the last two months it was their project, one they made sure to exclude me from with the promise that it would be ready in time for the baby's arrival. Elain claimed it was an "aunt's only" venture, which I was happy to oblige to thanks to my continued exhaustive state.</p><p>Once my appetite had been sated, I tried using the momentum of my legs swinging over the edge of the bed to push myself up to standing...only to have my large belly prevent me from actually being able to sit up at all. I sighed in frustration, but before I could call Rhys through the bond, he was in the room and at my side in seconds.</p><p>I scowled as he took both my hands, hauling me up to my feet. "I officially can't even climb out of bed without help," I grumbled.</p><p>"Yes, well," he glanced at my stomach with a feline grin. "We saw that coming."</p><p>I sighed and ambled towards my armoire. "If you hadn't come, I would've been stuck there and never would've been able to join you for my surprise."</p><p>Rhys laughed. "I wouldn't have left you here all day, I promise," he said as he came to my side, grabbing a gown I didn't recognize from the far end of the armoire. "How about this?"</p><p>I stared at it as he hung it on the door of the armoire for display. It was a floor length, midnight blue maternity gown with off-shoulder long sleeves. The bust ruched in elegant pleats, creating an elegant sweetheart neckline, and would allow the rest of the soft fabric to fall and hang over my belly delicately.</p><p>I smiled at him. "Is it another gown your mother made for me?" I asked softly.</p><p>He nodded. "I've been waiting to pull it out for you. I think today would be the perfect opportunity."</p><p>"Will you help me into it?" I asked by way of agreement.</p><p>Rhys smiled, the rare and soft smile that always warmed me to my core. "Of course, Feyre darling."</p><p>After another half an hour spent helping me wash up in the bathing room, changing, and arranging my hair in a simple braided crown, I was ready. I laughed as I caught my reflection in the mirror.</p><p>"I look like I'm going to a party," I admitted.</p><p>"You are," Rhys confirmed as he looped his arm with mine, escorting me to the other end of our suite and to the double doors that led to the sitting room-now nursery.</p><p>Before I could question him further, he opened the doors to the nursery where all of our family awaited us. I barely noticed the smiles on their faces as I took in the transformed space. The once creme colored walls were now painted in a soft baby blue hue, a few clouds painted throughout. A dark-stained wooden cradle decorated with matching soft blue and white blankets nestled inside sat in the middle of the room, a plush carpet underneath and a weaved basket overflowing with stuffed toys sitting beside it. Hanging above the cradle, draped open delicately on either side of it, was a light grey canopy. Tears I hadn't realized gathered in my eyes fell when I blinked at the sight before me.</p><p>"What do you think, Feyre?" Elain asked as she crossed over to me, taking both of my hands in hers.</p><p>I nodded with a wet laugh, observing the other details of the room—all beautifully and meticulously decorated. "It's beautiful Elain," I said.</p><p>"Just wait until you see his closet full of clothes," Mor said with a grin as she came to my side and embraced me. "Nesta and I have been collecting clothes for months."</p><p>I looked at Nesta, surprised, but she waved a hand. "It was mostly her and Elain. I organized them according to size," she explained.</p><p>"She really doesn't want to admit to the two outfits she actually found because she's worried you'll think they're ugly," Cassian teased from beside her, earning a deadly glare from my sister.</p><p>I had been surprised to see both him and Azriel in the room with the others, both clad in the casual clothes we rarely saw them wear.</p><p><em>They wanted to be here for your sister's and Mor's unveiling. Consider this one of the last gatherings we'll all have together before Sebastian arrives. </em>Rhys said through the bond.</p><p>I smiled briefly at my mate, squeezing the hand that held mine and turned back to the others, when suddenly the Night Court insignia caught the corner of my eye from the wall to my left. I paused before walking over to it, taking in the tapestry woven from the deepest black to exist and the iridescent silver thread shining like liquid starlight as it shaped the Night Court's insignia.</p><p>Void and Hope.</p><p>I touched it gently, marveling at the feel of the velvet texture—remembering how it felt exactly as it had that day I saw it in the weaver's gallery. Back then I had no idea where I would hang it, but seeing it here now, recalling the emotions it stirred in me then—the realization of just how lucky Rhys and I were to both return from the war with each other and how far we had come since; the realization of wanting, more than anything, to start a family with my mate as soon as possible. I couldn't think of a more perfect place for it.</p><p>"It was Rhysand's idea to hang it up here. What do you think?" Elain asked with a gentle smile, remembering the day she had been with me when I bought it.</p><p>I nodded and turned back to my mate, my eyes burning as I rested both hands on my belly. "It's perfect," I repeated, knowing he heard the initial sentiments in my thoughts.</p><p>"You're welcome, Feyre darling," he purred in my ear as he returned to my side and pressed a kiss to my temple.</p><p>Mor clapped before I could get lost in his warmth, and grinned. "Alright, now it's present time!" She declared.</p><p>I blinked. "Present time? It isn't my birthday." I said, confused.</p><p>"No, but it's almost his," Mor said as she rubbed my stomach affectionately. "So, we're having a little celebration in honor of his arrival," she explained.</p><p>I looked at Rhys, but he simply shrugged. "It is a tradition among the fae, much like the parties thrown for a mated pair."</p><p>"We didn't have a party when I accepted our bond," I argued, my face flushing as I realized just how much I had become the center of attention.</p><p>"Which is why we all get to celebrate you now," Mor countered with a grin. "It's not every day a High Lady gives birth to a future High Lord."</p><p>I opened my mouth to argue the case of Viviane, but was surprised when Amren was the one to cut in. "The Winter Court does things differently than we do, girl."</p><p>I surveyed all their faces; Mor, Elain, and Cassian looked the most eager, but even Azriel, Amren and Nesta seemed earnest in wanting to commemorate this moment—one of the last we would all have together during my pregnancy, before Sebastian was born. Given the last arduous several months we just endured, unable to really relish in welcoming his arrival or spending that much time together in a casual setting like this, I knew now our chance.</p><p>With another glance at my mate, who dipped his head in approval, I sighed in mock exaggeration before I nodded at Mor with a genuine grin. Her face lit up with delight before leading me over to the rocking chair on the other end of the room.</p><p>"You too, Rhysie," Cassian said as he nudged Rhys forward. "You're the dad, so we have a few things for you too."</p><p>"Feyre is the pregnant one. She's been doing all the hard work, and I've just been watching," Rhys avowed.</p><p>"You've done more than that," Nesta claimed, and Elain nodded in approval as they both began gathering the presents that had been hidden in the closet.</p><p>Azriel came and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Technically, as the expectant parents, all of these gifts are for both of you, as well as your son." he reasoned.</p><p>"Yeah, so come sit with Feyre and let us shower you with gifts," Cassian insisted with a crooked grin as he pulled up a chair and placed it next to mine.</p><p>Rhys looked taken aback by his brother's words, and even Nesta's, as he glanced in my direction. He was the one used to indulging the others, as High Lord he saw it as part of his duty—to accommodate his friends, his <em>family</em>, but now he was the one being tended to.</p><p>I smiled as I reached a hand out to him, the other resting on the apex of my belly as I sat in the rocking chair. "If I have to endure this, so do you," I teased.</p><p>He half-heartedly rolled his eyes, a feline grin on his face as he took my hand and came to sit beside me. I squeezed it gently, glancing at my stomach as that once-gentle glimmer flickered through us both and down the bond.</p><hr/><p>The sleep I had found that night was short-lived. While the tea I had drunk the night before had done wonders at calming down my lively babe and had helped me once again succumb to the embers of slumber, I felt a strange sensation in my nerves.</p><p>It wasn't like the panic or fear triggered by nightmares, but rather a gentle buzz that thrummed under my skin. I couldn't place the name for what exactly I was feeling, but it felt reminiscent of Calanmai, or when I had felt the early traces of the bond between Rhys and me. I felt that tug on the bond now, despite Rhys sleeping peacefully at my side, and felt it over and over until I slowly and carefully hoisted myself out of bed. In spite of the effort it took, I didn't struggle as I had earlier, the gentle buzzing seeming to cause a light adrenaline rush. I padded across the room as quietly as I could manage, as to not disturb my mate, and over to the double doors that lead to the nursery.</p><p>I stepped inside and admired the sight as I had earlier, touching the cradle gently as I approached it. My chest tightened a bit as I tried to imagine a swaddled and sleeping Sebastian laying in it. I often saw the baby version of what the Bone Carver had shown me in my dreams; of Rhysand holding and cradling him in his arms—a miniature version of himself with some of my own features mixed in. I sighed contentedly as I grabbed a soft blanket thrown over the edge of the cradle, folding it neatly before placing it on the bedding. I surveyed the rest of the room, suddenly finding a few imperfections in the decor, or in the supplies that had been laid out, and before I knew it, I was rearranging the different areas of the room. I started with the cradle, folding the different types of blankets according to size and type, before moving onto the changing station and began organizing the different creams and ointments we might need for that messy business. With the words and lectures of our healer and midwife in my head, specifically on how we would care for and tend to Sebastian once he arrived, I now felt compelled to make sure that I was adequately prepared.</p><p>"Look who's being a mother hen now," my mate said from the doorway, his voice a husky mixture of sleep and amusement.</p><p>I turned to look at him, a stuffed toy in hand from my work of rearranging the basket of toys sitting beside the changing station. I felt another flush return to my cheeks as he came to my side.</p><p>"I couldn't sleep," I admitted as I looked at the toy; a bear with cloth wings Nesta claimed had been hand-sewn by the clothier shopkeeper Emerie, from the Windhaven camp.</p><p>"I see that," Rhys said softly, hands coming to hold my stomach. When he felt no answering glimmer or movement in response to his touch, he smiled. "But it wasn't because our little one kept you awake, it seems."</p><p>I paused, realizing he was right. Sebastian had remained still, asleep, despite my movements and the tug I had felt on the bond. "No. It was...something else, I think. I fell asleep earlier, but then I woke up with this overwhelming urge to…" I looked around the room, trying to voice exactly what I felt. "Clean?" I tried.</p><p>Rhys's violet eyes warmed, starlight smoldering as a hand touched my cheek gently. "Feyre, darling, you're starting to nest," he said.</p><p>My eyes met his, astonished, realizing what this meant. "Oh," I whispered and looked down at my belly.</p><p>Nesting was the first indication of my body readying for labor. It was an expecting female's first instinct, the midwife had told us, because she would want to make sure her home was aptly prepared for the arrival of her newborn. This period could last anywhere between a few days to a week and would follow with all other instincts cooling into a withdrawn state; a necessary final stage before the laboring process began.</p><p>I let out a shaky breath as Rhys caressed my stomach, his brow coming to rest on mine as those sparkling violet eyes stared into mine. "It's okay, Feyre," he reassured. "If you're nervous."</p><p>"I'm a little nervous," I confessed. "Not just because I know there will be pain, but because...we'll finally get to meet him."</p><p>I stroked my stomach gently as I went on. "After all these years of trying, after the last several months we've had...we're finally going to hold him in our arms. He won't just be what we've imagined him to be, what the Bone Carver showed us...he'll be real."</p><p>Rhys brushed away a stray tear as it fell down my cheek and held me as closely as he could, my large belly pressed against the hard planes of his, resting between us.</p><p>"Yes, he will," he whispered before claiming my lips with his in a lingering and sweet kiss as my eyes fluttered closed.</p><p>"We're having a baby," I whispered after a minute, my lips still lingering on his.</p><p>I felt him smile and he pulled back to meet my gaze as I opened my eyes again. His thumbs stroking my cheeks as he held my face.</p><p>"Yes, we are, my love, and I don't know how to thank you for this...this gift, this life you've grown inside of you," he said, his violet eyes now lined with silver.</p><p>My hands came to take his wrists gently, bringing his hands to my lips in a brief kiss before letting them go so he could hold my waist. "You can start by helping me organize this room...and bringing me some more pickled herrings?" I asked with an abashed smile.</p><p>Rhys threw his head back in a laugh, pressing another quick kiss to my lips as he nodded and sketched a quick bow. "As my Lady wishes," he said with a wink.</p><p>I laughed along with him as I looked down at my stomach, giving it a gentle touch as I wondered just how much longer it would actually be before Sebastian occupied this room.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope this chapter finds you all well! Please note that ACONAS is on a (very) brief hiatus! I have been taking a mental health break, as well as focusing on my BFA in Acting Program over the last month. It has come with an incredible amount of effort and work recently and has moved to the top of my priorities list, and for the sake of my art and mental health, I put ACONAS on hold for the time being! Fear not, however, because I have NOT abandoned this story and will resume posting soon! I have a lot planned for the next several chapters, and I want to be able to dedicate all of my time and focus in telling the rest of Feyre and Rhys's journey into parenthood to the best of my ability for you readers! I hope you all understand, and know that I ACONAS scheduled to return in early May!</p><p>In the meantime, please feel free to follow me on Tumblr @ ThespianBooks. I post a little more regularly there with ACONAS updates and answer asks as much as possible! </p><p>Sending love and positivity~ &lt;3</p>
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